Six Idiots

     Hurricane was leaning back in the booth, a huge grin on his face. Twenty bits, from Sarcasm. He got it from somebody, no doubt. Despite that, he was happy.

     Ethelind sat next to Hurricane on one side, looking bored out of her mind. She was attempting to enjoy the music, but the bass was so loud that was all she could hear.

     On the other side of Hurricane sat Sarcasm, who wasn't even mad about losing twenty bits. It wasn't his twenty bits. He took a swig of his mug.

     On the other side of the booth sat the three arguing ponies. Spade had challenged Trock to a drinking game and she knew he wouldn't comply. Trock refused, and Blaze jumped in.

"Trock, come on, it's just a drinking game, dude!" Spade said.

"Hell no. I refuse to participate in this ridiculous charade."

     Blaze shook his head. "You're not smart, Trock. How about you shut up and play the Celestia Damned drinking game, huh?"

"No."

     Spade shot Hurricane a look. Hurricane got the message and slid one of his two remaining mugs to Spade, realizing it was for a good cause. Spade caught the drink, grinning. "Blaze, hold his nose."

     Blaze pinched Trock's nose, much to his protest, and Trock unwillingly opened his mouth to breathe. At that moment, Spade poured the drink into Trock's mouth.

     Ethelind began watching the scenario with mild interest, as Trock had started yelling in Germane. Nopony but her could understand, so she just tried to make out what he was saying. Hurricane had finished his last drink, happily sinking down into his seat. "Intoxication is great," he said, his speech not quite yet slurred.

     Trock had finished the drink, and Blaze let go of his nose. "You guys are assholes!" Trock yelled angrily. He tried to push Blaze, who was sitting on the end of the booth, off his seat. Blaze easily picked up Trock and tossed him out.

     Trock stood up and marched out of the bar indignantly.

"Bitch," Hurricane muttered. "One joke and he storms the fuck out. What a pussy."

"You have no idea," Spade agreed. "One time, I dared him to ask Ethelind out and he chickened out. He ran off and wouldn't come out of his house for days."

"You mean Ferdayze?" a drunk Sarcasm asked.

     Ethelind looked at him. "How did you get drunk again?"

"Stole some other ponies' drinks."

"Not surprised," chimed Spade.

     Blaze nodded sagely. The earth pony never cared for the rest of his group, but he hung around them because he himself was a social reject. He took a swig from his mug and sat back.

     Hurricane looked around the bar, unimpressed with everything but the DJ. "Fine plot ya got there, Vinyl," he said to himself. "I think i'll buy you a drink." DJ Pon3 turned down the music a bit and played a slow song. Taking the opportunity, he got out of his seat and trotted over to the bar. He recognized the bartender he saw. "Ey, Chuck!"

     Martini Chuck turned around and smiled. "Howdy, Hurricane! What can ah get f'r ya?"

     Hurricane pondered for a second. "Gimme two Bombs, man."

"Comin' right up. 'S on the house."

"Thanks, Chuck."

     Hurricane got the two drinks and headed over to the DJ booth.

     Meanwhile, Spade was drinking from her mug of cider. She was wondering if Trock would come back. "Prob'ly not," she thought aloud. "Anypony wanna play Blackjack?"

     Sarcasm looked to her. "Why the fuck not?"

     Ethelind also shifted her gaze to Spade. "I'm not usually one for cards, but sure."

     Blaze just harrumphed.

     Spade dealt the cards. Sarcasm immediately rolled his eyes and mumbled "Bust, goddammit." Blaze said "Hit me," then "Fuck. You shuffled shitty, Spade."

     In the back of Spade's mind, a little pony in her head was saying "Pull out the Joker, ya fucktard!" With a flick of her tail, two cards switched places. After years of practice and only a few hours of jail time, she had perfected the art of cheating. Then she realized something. "Shit," she said. "We forgot to bet. Dammit."

"I ain't got nothin' to bet," said Blaze.

"Me neither," Sarcasm piped.

     Ethelind scowled and shook her head. "You're not getting a single bit out of me, Spade. I already lost twenty to Sarcasm."

"Hurricane, technically."

"I don't care! I'm not betting."

     Sarcasm grinned and looked to Ethelind. He belched. "Pussy."

     Blaze scoffed. "She's got more guts than your ass."

"Fuck you."

"Right back at ya pal."

"Fucktard."

"Dipshit."

"Short-ass."

"Fuckin' stoner i'll beat your ass!"

     Blaze jumped over to Sarcasm and started pummeling him with his hooves. Sarcasm just pushed him off and belched again. "I'm older and taller than you. Not to mention twice as strong. Wanna take me on? Let's take it outside."

"Cliché much?" Spade mumbled.

Sarcasm walked out of the bar, smacking Blaze on the side of the head on his way out. Blaze followed, and the sound of fighting could soon be heard from outside.