A Shitty Compilation of Shitty Short Stories

Twilight sighed as she looked at the clock.  She missed company.  Especially Spike's company, as she always liked to watch him sleep, and of course, to talk things out.  But he would rather hang out with Rarity than her.

She sighed.

Spike was always a damn good therapist.

Twilight slowly closed the book she was reading, On Oblivion's Ass, and sat up on her haunches.  It was well past nine o'clock, being the usual time for her to read murder porn.  But, alas, she just wasn't in the mood.

"Well this sucks," Twilight stated, licking the floor sub-consciously.  She sighed again as she hopped (like a bunny, duh! didn't you know her father was really an alcoholic rabbit, but disguised himself as a unicorn?) into the kitchen.

"I could eat another fetus.  Nah, maybe drink some of Gummy's sperm.  Why's it so hard to decide?!  I'm gonna go rape the door...."

She butt-bucked the kitchen table as she walked out.  She trotted over to the entrance door, and was about to rub her pussy against the door while mimicking the door's despair (as if it were alive), before a knock came from the door.

Now what in Luna's freaking fuck could that be? she thought.

Being the paranoid Commie that she is, she slowly drew a Daedric tanto out from the flower vase next to the door, and magically hid it behind her flank.

"Her is it?" Twilight asked in a mock Asian accent.

"Hi.  Um, Twilight?  C-could we talk, for a moment?" the voice of the oh-cum-inside-able sexy Miss Rainbow Dash said.

Oh, great.  It's that bitch.  Well, she sounds worried, so I don't think I should go hard on her. Twilight thought to herself.

Twilight dropped the tanto back into the vase, and opened the door.

"Hi Rainbow, I didn't know it was you." Twilight greeted her friend as Rainbow Dash trotted into the library.

"That's me!" Rainbow replied as she waited for Twilight to close the door.

"A dozen red roses- I mean, uh, h-how are the wings?" Rainbow Dash stuttered, rubbing her fore-hoof.

"Fine, fine...." Twilight replied, eyeing the ceiling.

There was a moment of silence.

"...Ya stupid cunt," Twilight added, giving Rainbow a cold stare.

Both mares stared at each other, Rainbow with a hurt look and Twilight with the same stare.

Rainbow's facial expression turned from hurt, to deadpan in ten seconds flat.

Then both mares randomly fell on the floor laughing and rolling.  After about twenty minutes, both mares finally stopped laughing, and they ended up rolling next to each other.  They both sighed, then turned to face each other.  They sat up on their haunches, and stared into each other's eyes.

"So, why'd you come here?" asked Twilight, scratching her flank.

"Oh, just wanted to stop by, and talk about Sweetie Bot's memory chip problem," Rainbow replied, blushing slightly.

"YOU'RE LYING!!!" Twilight stated, booping Rainbow on the nose.

Silence reined (heh, get it?), and both mares started leaning in about .0000000000001 of an inch after every second passed.

"Twilight?" Rainbow asked, putting on a sly smile.

"Yes?" Twilight breathed out with bedroom eyes.

"I looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve you," Rainbow said, blushing furiously.

Damn it!  I knew she was homo!  Wait... shut up, hypocrite! Twilight thought as they both leaned in and kissed.  The kiss was a normal Gandalf, then it turned into a Morgan Freeman, then a Goddamn Bruce Lee-on-Chuck Norris Style.

Twilight then teleported herself and Rainbow into her room, where they resumed to passionately kiss.  Twilight climbed on top of Rainbow, and broke apart, only to breath of course.

"Nope.  Nope.  No, nope nope nope nope nope...." said the author out loud as he typed while jacking it.  "Eh... they should just screw each other and get it over with."

And true to the author's words, both mares started f-ing.

THE END

What, you expected something haht?  Go fuck yourselves.  Oh, wait, you don't have anything to fuck yourselves to, do you?  *Sigh* Fiiiiinnnne.

"I love you," Rainbow told Twilight.

"I love you, too."

Twilight felt her loins catch on fire, and leaned in for another kiss.

At this point, Rainbow Dash felt something dripping on her stomach, and looked down Twilight to see that was... wet.

Wow, she got wet fast... faster than me!  I must be haht! Rainbow thought.

Rainbow stopped, and said, "Ready for some fun, Twi?"

To which she replied, "Y-yeah... yes!"

They sat up onto their haunches.  Rainbow Dash, whose wings stood erect, lowered her hoof towards Twilight's pussy.

Oh, I'm getting wet, too, thought Rainbow.

She ran her hoof up Twilight's slit.

"Oh my goodness... Rainbow!  Please...."

Rainbow Dash understood her cries, and shoved her hoof into Twilight's vagina.

"How's that feel, Twi?"

"Wonderful... ouch!"

Rainbow Dash had started moving her hoof in a pumping motion.

After about a minute, Twilight began to feel pressure build behind-

"R-Rainbow!  D... aaaaaaash!"

Whoops, I spoke too soon.

A few spasms, a twitching wing, and a sparking horn later, Twilight was ready to pleasure her cyan friend.

"Ready Rainbow?"

"You betcha!"

"Okay...."

The purple pony lowered her head, horn pointing forward.

"Oh, I see...."

Rainbow Dash pushed her hindquarters against Twilight's head, and started moving back and forth.

"Oh yeah!"

"I see you like that."

"Are... you... ki-kidding?" Rainbow said between breathes.  "Oh... faster...."

But Twilight did not move faster, mostly because she's a bitch.

"Please....  Oh goddesses, I'm...."

Rainbow came.  There were no rainbows, because that wouldn't make sense.

Twilight levitated Rainbow's cum into her mouth.

"Hmm....  Tastes like zap apples!"

"Oh....  Good to know... I guess."

"You didn't try mine, did you?" Twilight asked.

"No.  Maybe tomorrow, if you're in the mood."

"Always.  Well, unless I'm doing work, then no."

"Eh.  Anyways, where's Spike?" Rainbow asked Twilight.

"At Rarity's."

"It's one AM."

"Heh, yeah...."

"What were you doin' before I got here?"

"Watchin' Babylon 5," Twilight told Rainbow.  "Why?"

"Just curious."

"True... true....  Hey, I think you should head home soon."

"Why's that?"

"Eh....  Some fool niggas was muggin' Fluttershy, so I challenged them to a dance off.  I won, and they want revenge."

"So what?"

"Eh....  I became paranoid, and asked Rarity to prostitute herself for information.  She got a hold on some of their plans for me.  They're goin' to drive by my house and shoot my house up."

"Why don't you tell the police?"

"Those niggas are all racist and shit towards us unis."

"Excuse me?"

"Never mind honey."

"Bye bye."

"Bye."

As Rainbow Dash flew away, Twilight trotted back to her studies, after locking the door of course.

After an hour, Spike knocked on the door of Golden Oaks Library.

"Hello?  Twi!  You in there?"

No answer.

"Dammit!  That bitch's probably asleep!  Jesus fucking Christ!"

Hey, kid!

What?

Wanna take over narrating while I ask this Spike character... questions?

Really?  Oh boy!  I've always wanted to narrate!  Thank you Master Freeman!

Yeah yeah!  Just shut up and do it.

Yes sir!

As my glorious master, Morgan Freeman, broke through the Fourth-  Wait....  Why did he write our conversation?  And why am I writing this down....  My head hurts, so....

"Hey!  Her house's over here!"

Spike turned around to see a car, which held several ponies dressed in red wielding guns.  That was the last thing he ever saw, because the ponies pulled the triggers on their guns and let loose a hail fire of bullets that ripped through Spike's puny body and into the wood of the tree.  The next day Twilight buried Spike's body behind the tree before anypony could see.

I suck at writing, and this story made no sense.  Goodbye.