A Shitty Compilation of Shitty Short Stories

"Strangers passing in the street, by chance two separate glances meet, I am you and what I see is me, and do I take you by the hand...."

"Wow...."

Kyle Lemons, a seventeen-year-old high school dropout in the Summer of Love.  Yes ladies and gentlemen, this is that kind of story.

"Why do they call it "hate" and "ash-berry"?  I mean, I don't see hate; I see berries, though, they aren't ashy; they're, like, strawberries, man."

"True, true man....  So true...." Kyle took a swig from his joint.

"Hey, how're parents Kyley?  I bet they're kinda pissed, with you... hanging out with us, and all."

"Yeah, I'll bet they're pretty fucking mad, Lavender."

"Hey, I thought I told you to call me Lavey...."

"Eh, sorry.  Hey, Carly?  You wanna go back to the tent with me and Lavey?"

"Depends.  I ran out of birth pills...."

"Oh, it's fine Carly!  I got pills here." Lavender conjured a bottle from her satchel, and handed it to Carly, who was next to her.

"Okay, let's go."

"Hey, Freddy, you wanna join?"

"Nah, I'm thinkin'." Fred lit his bong, whilst Kyle walked over to him.

"Thinking about... what?"

"Well, life."

"Alright, okay.  You go play with yourself out here, then."

"Thank you."

Kyle walked over to his tent, where Carly and Lavender were waiting.

"Hey Kyle!"

"Hey ladies...."

Kyle pulled down his pants, revealing his AIDS-infested hippie dick.  He had no underwear, and so his balls were raw.  He had no shirt, but necklaces and a blue headband.

The girls undressed themselves while they were waiting for Kyle, and so spread their legs apart to greet him.

Kyle threw himself onto Carly, his member finding its target upon impact.

"Ow-y!  Mmmaaaahhh...." Carly moaned.

Kyle moved his left hand towards Lavender, and motioned for her to move herself closer.

When she was within reach, he stuck his fist into her wet, stinky vagina, which she was rubbing moments before, due to the scene splayed before her.

"Ooooaaaahh!  K-Kyle....  YES!" screamed Carly as she began to twitch and squirm.

"Fffuuu- ouch!  Your nails Kyle!" Lavender mentioned towards Kyle, who just couldn't seem to orgasm.

"Here...." Kyle lifted himself up off of Carly, - who had just finished - and onto Lavender.  He slid his throbbing penis into her throbbing, gangrene-colored pussy.

"Oooohh...." Kyle groaned as he felt the thick slime of Lavender's insides.  Ew.

"AAAAAHHH!!!" screamed Lavender as she orgasmed.

Kyle began to thrust faster and faster, until he finally felt that tiny drop of semen leave his sausage.  (He just began puberty.)

Suddenly, as Kyle began to regain his senses after such an intense amount of action, he realized that he was flying through space.

"Whoa....  I think the acid's starting to kick in...."

After what seemed like days, he finally hit hard ground.

"Ouch!  Fuck!"

Kyle got up, rubbing his sore head to see... nothingness.

"Trippin' dude...."

Pure nothingness.  He felt the ground (or what he presumed to be the ground) to find his hands slipping though, and himself flipping onto the other side (or at least, that's what it felt like).  The whole thing made no sense to him, as he could definitely feel something hard beneath his feet, but - when using hands - could not touch it.

"I kinda want some lights turned on up in here." he declared, scratching his ass.

Suddenly, as if on cue, a great ball of light appeared in front of him.

"Cool.  Hmm....  It's kinda bright....  I wish it were further away from me."

And so the ball of light flew... nowhere.

"Oh wait!" exclaimed Kyle.  "It has nowhere to go!  I wish... there was, like, a sky, or something."

And so there was.  And the ball flew up, up into the new, "sky".

"Man, I'm kinda thirsty...."

Oceans and lakes appeared as far as the eye can see, and clouds formed in the sky, and the nothingness around Kyle became moist, ever so slightly.

"Whoa... it's like, the Bible, or something....  Am I God?  So, God isn't dead?  I know the answer!  I can't wait to see the look on Lavey's face when I tell her I'm right!  I- I- I'm... right....  Will I ever return home?"

Like a wave crashing against a shore, Kyle realized how lonely how lonely he was.

Just then, his stomach growled.

"Man, I'm hungry...."

As expected, vegetation grew from the soil, and grew and grew until he could no longer look a meter away before seeing a tree or two.

"The land seems kinda flat...."

And so the ground shook, and rumbled and quaked, until it finally took shape.  The oceans and lakes were rearranged, but the plants were fine.

"It looks like they're still growing...."

Aye, that they were.  And if Kyle doesn't do something quick....

"I know!  I wish there were stars and a moon and sun, 'cause, like, the ball isn't giving off heat and I'm cold, and, like, the moon to replace it to keep temperatures regulated.  Oh, plus, the stars, like, give off light and stuff, so I can see in the dark!"

God damn you Kyle, you pot-filled bastard.

"Oh shit!  Ouch!  These vines are hurtin' man!"

Drops of blood fell from his arms as he cut himself on some thorns.

"Oh, I wish there were animals to eat you!"

And then there were.

"Whoa, sorry man; lost my cool there for a second."

Is that faggot talking to the- ah, never mind.  It's pointless to think about.

Behind Kyle, a sudden rustling was heard.

"Hi!"

"WHAT?!" Kyle looked around in bewilderment.

"EEEP!"

"What?  Hello?  Anybody there?  Don't worry, I don't bite!"

"You scared me!"

"Well, sorry, but like, dude, you scared me, also!"

"Eh...."

The shrubs to the left of Kyle started to move, and as he turned his ugly hippie head, he saw - to his amazement - a white pony.

But this was not regular pony.  Oh no, this one was special, as it was adorned with a horn atop its head, and wings on the sides.  It had a red mane and tail, and blue eyes.

"How... how did you, like, y'know, get here?"

"I dunno.  However, I remember my fetal years, and being awoken over there," she pointed to her left, near some vines.  "Where I suddenly found that I could move."

"What?  Years?  'Tis only been but a few hours!  How...."

"Well....  I...."

"Wait, over by the vines you say?"

"Yes, but-"

"And your mane and tail are red...."

"They are?  Oh, well I haven't been able to look at myself, so-"

"The vines cut me, and I must of bled.  I bet you came from my blood."

"Ew."

"Meh.  Eh, may I climb onto your back?"

"Yes, you may."

"Thank you."

After a short spell of flying, Kyle asked this horse a question.  Well, several.

"So, what's your name?"

"No idea.  But, I have this word in my head, that I have had since I was born.  "Faust"."

"Eh, man, so, like, try wishing for something."

"Why?"

"Well, like, I wanna prove if my theory that you're from my blood is true, er, or not."

"How-"

"I created all this by wishing, so like, maybe it'll be the same."

"'Kay, alright!  I wish I could birth two of my kind, create a massive empire that this world could not live without, and I want a million different other things that I just thought up in my head!"

Suddenly, all of this happened at once, and her head exploded.  Kyle fell from the sky, and died.

THE END