Double-O Cheerilee

Dear Diary,

Today was spent walking in a huge circle. Actually, it was spent walking in a huge icosakaihexagon. A icosakaihexagon is a 26 sided polygon. But circle is much easier to say and write, so I'll say that instead of icosakaihexagon.

I didn't get anything from the hoof samples from last night's observations, and Gummy isn't to loud on the walkie talkie. So, today we decided to switch. I am now going to spy on the purple pony. First, I'd have to find her.

But before first, so I guess that zeroed, I'd have to eat breakfast. So I went to a Crystal Cafe. The Crystal Cafe is so shimmery and twinkley. Like twinkle toes. In fact, I began to smell twinkle toes. Yup. Dat pony with twinkle toes is in here. And Imma gonna spy on her.

I ate a crystal thing-a-mick-bop then stalked the pony out of the restaurant. She was purple with straight hair. Always suspect the nerdy type.

I stalked her until she boarded the train. I needed a ticket so I got in line to get one. But the line had 382 ponies in it. I double counted to make sure. So technically it had 764 ponies in line. And then there's me, so if you want to be really technical it's 383 and double that it's 766.

I decided to not wait in line after all. I'd just get on board. I'm a secret agent anyway. It's not like anypony noticed me. Well, except the hot conductor.

"Excuse me, miss?" His hot voice asked me.

"Oh, yes?" I replied, realizing his hotness.

"Do you have a ticket?" His hot eyes looked into my soul.

"Ohh, yeah sure. Hey, wanna date?" I asked.

"Yea- what?" He asked, shaking his head.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah! You're sooooooooooooooooooooooooo hot." I said, slobbering.

"Lady, please don't-"

"I'm not 'lady', I'm 'marefriend Cheerilee'." I corrected.

"J- just get on and sit down." The nervous sounding stallion said. But he still sounded really hot.

"Kay. As long as you'll come sit with me later." I said, bumping him to the side as I walked to my seat. And that's how I get past hot train conductors without my ticket. Not to mention I'm a secret agent & I need to be on this train to spy on the purple pony. Maybe I should spy on the hot stallion?

Anyway, so I saw the purple pony. She appeared to be a unicorn. But no, she had wings. Alicorn? Ooh, this is a special mission for me.

The train pulled into Ponyville. The conductor never sat with me, but I got to bump him again on the way out. He's so hot.

I followed the purple pony princess suspect back to her sparkly tree. It was so sparkly. I followed closely behind her. She did some wacky spell with her horn, and then she ate a peanut butter and jelly. Then, she opened up this big passage way in the wall. It looked like a black hole or something. She stepped in.

I followed, of course. A spy's gotta do what a spy's gotta do.

We soon landed in the Crystal Empire, in the Crystal Castle, in the Royal Crystal Library. The purple pony ran up to a pink alicorn and a white unicorn. "It worked! It worked! Hahaha!" She boasted. I quickly hid behind a bookshelf to avoid being seen.

"Great job, Twiley!" The unicorn stallion said.

"Come on, it's time for lunch." The alicorn added, beginning to walk out of the room.

That purple unicorn has some strange parents. She must have been adopted.

I went back to the hotel to tell Gummy the news. And now I am writing in my diary.

Your number one secret agent,

Double-O Cheerilee