I'm Transgender... Documentation Biography

8:55 PM

Her is Sheikiolo. The most amazing best friend in the world. The woman who keeps flashing back in my mind, from time to time. Anyways, so Shekiolo is the very first girl who taught me how to love and to be myself. She actually was the help to my problem. I remember when a while back I told her about how I would get a sex-change and everything.

To be fairly honest, no idea how I knew the word, but I just knew it. I knew what it meant. But when I told Shekiolo this is felt weird to say, cause I had this feeling. This imbalancing feeling everytime. I couldn't put my finger on it, the feeling of rightness. Saying I would get a sex-change felt right. It made sense each time I told her.

Now what really was my excuse to do it... Was so I could be her man. I could be the boy she gets married to. So me and her could get married and live together a normal straight life. I had no idea why I wanted to change this bad for her, but at the same time it felt right. She even agreed to letting me be her man.

After that life went on, but then... The doctors apointment when I was also going through that weird emo thing. I always wanted to be sad, but always knew inside me there was hidden sad feelings. But yeah I told the doctor when she asked me if I had any problems, I told her about the self harming and sex-change desire. She documented it I believe.

It was something I tried hard to hide inside me and not dare speak of, expect when I was with Shekiolo. But then this shole changing never made sense. After that Shekiolo moved away in the summer, when I was still with my ex-boyfriend Rowan. Which was also weird, because when we were dating was when I first started to think about the change.

Hmm, I remember one conversation on the phone we had. He said we would get married and put his weiner in my donut. It felt really weird to think about, but I remember saying to him I would rather do that to him. I don't know why, but I wanted to do all the man stuff in the relationships I had with other men.

Example, I made the first moved ad gave him roses. Be the one to say love you first. Kisses I left to him. Then I always held Sheikiolos hand, hugged her too, and lastly laid down on the grass with her. We had romantic moments together. Even took her out on a date. Ah, it all felt okay at the time. That is then when later in the summer I discovered I wanted to flatten my chest. Get a surgery to flatten it like a guys. I remember I went to my mom first and told her right away. She gave me a disgusted weird look and yelled at me saying no!

Then I felt bad, and after that I listened to a song that was dedicated to two guys in a relationship. My mind went really crazy at the time. And that is when I did lots of research and discovered my identity, transgender FtM male. Everything made sense mostly and felt right after that. Been transitioning slowly sine 2013 to 2015. Hoping to transition more years.

-Andre 9:15 PM