Hell

Darkness. Nothing but, except for a strange light in the distance. With curiosity, I walked over to it. What's going on...is this the gate to Heaven? No, I don't belong there. Then...is this the way to Hell? Doesn't look like that either. Where the fuck am I? I thought.

The light disappeared, and my sight began to fade into something else.

"I think he's waking up" said a female voice. At first, I thought this was my teacher and I had a nightmare while sleeping in class...again. "Yeah, Yeah, I'm up" I said. I opened my eyes to see the mane six and the princesses sitting down, two royal guards at the door (one being Shining Armor), and Nurse Redheart next to me. Well shit...didn't expect that to be real, oh fuck... I thought as I remembered how peaceful Equestria was how they rarely deal with death, much less, murder. I had just tried suicide in a world where the dark was the scariest thing in the world. (Best sarcasm ever :P)

I signaled Nurse Redheart to get me a mirror. Once I picked it up, relief washed over me when I saw that my beard was fine. Luna saw right through this. "Why do you care so much about your beard?" Then she started shouting. "AND WHY DID YOU JUMP OFF THE BALCONY?! YOU COULD'VE KILLED YOURSELF!" I stood silent for a moment, in which Celestia was about to ask something else, so I answered. "My beard is what motivated me to give life another chance, that and a promise. I know I could've killed myself, I was trying to-" They all gasped and started whispering for a moment. "You done?" I asked. They nodded simply, as if the slightest noise would kill me. Phh, amateurs.

"I was trying to kill myself so I wouldn't have to live with it, this isn't the first time y'know. The worst part is...I always survive." They all stared at me like I was stupid until they remembered yesterday and, in sync, said, "Ohhh."

After that, there was an awkward silence that I would gladly have murdered for being there. I was about to rant on further in my head until Rainbow walked up to me. "Yesterday, before you hit the ground. You said something. Can you say that again? I didn't hear you..." She said. It was then that I noticed her blush and everything clicked. I shouted so loud that all of that side of Canterlot could hear me so that's a lie...is she...desperate? I nearly laughed at the thought. That was when I remembered that I mouthed those words and only said thanks. God damn it, and now I have to say it in front of the very ponies I just tried to take my own life in front of.

"I'll tell you later Rainbow. Right now, I want to talk with the Princesses." I said as my eyes sharpened into blades that could rip her apart if I had magic, or if the blades were real. The mane six just silently walked out, the last one out was Pinkie who had a deflated mane and from her face, I could tell she was more then sad. Well shit, you just ruined the lives of your favorite six beings in reality. I'll apologize...later, I thought. Now looking at the slightly aggravated Princess of the Night, I gave a death glare filled with nothing but killing intent. "You brought me into this world, didn't you Princess Luna. It was during the night, so I thought it was you." She hesitated a moment, then let out a sigh. "I saw the state thou were in while in your world and wanted to bring thou here to heal from tho-"

"-Nope" I interrupted. On Earth, interrupt a noble and you're dead or left to life in prison. Here, it didn't matter. With my temper though, I wouldn't give a shit either way. "Enough of your squabbling, if you can pull me out of this world, then you can put me back, right?" They had to, it was logic.

Celestia looked at me as if she had just lost someone close to her for good...not that she has. "I'm sorry Daniel, I should've sto-"

"Don't wanna hear it" I interrupted again. I used my basic knowledge about Equestria's history for a moment. That's when I face palmed. "Hey Princesses, where's Discord?"

They stared at me dumbfounded for a moment before screaming. What the hell is wrong with them? They don't normally act like this in the show! I thought to myself. "What's wrong with looking for Disc-"

"EVERYTHING!" Celestia interrupted. That bitch, I began to run through nicknames in my head. For now, they were "White Dick, Suns***" and other inappropriate names.

Before I could say anything, I heard the voice I'd never, EVER, want to hear in my life. "Auntie Celestia! Auntie Luna!" came the annoying voice of a snobbish Blueblood. If there was anything I couldn't stand more than myself, it was him.

"Yes Blueblood?" Luna asked as she took notice of my anger. "It was horrible! I asked a commoner to show me to a bathroom and she screamed. Then, I was chased by a dragonequus!"

I perked up at the last part and didn't give enough of a shit to remember he was extremely uptight about being noble. "What did it look like Blueblood?" I asked with fake kindness. He began speaking, "I don't speak with co-"

"If you're not gonna give an actual answer, then shut the fuck up. Noble my ass." I interrupted. "Gonna answer me Blueblood? Sometime today!" I told him again. He just pointed behind me whispering "like that".

When I turned around, I saw Discord with the same grin I wore before jumping off the balcony. "Wait a minute" I started, breaking up everything that was just happening. "If I'm in the hospital, why was Blueblood here?"

"You are in thy healing section of our palace Daniel." Luna answered. K then...I looked at Discord, "Hey Discord, you wanna have some fun?" For the next few seconds, we stared at each other with demonic smiles. Discord snapped and everything went black.

If Discord knew what I was thinking, this could either be a really stupid prank that would help me have a good laugh, or end up throwing away my life. Probably the latter. When the surroundings were back, I looked around to see exactly what I wanted to see. A potato gun, in my hand. "Ready for some fun?" Discord asked.

I looked over to him to see that he was holding a cannon. Not a normal one though, but one you'd see at a circus that shoots people out of it. I got in screaming, "VENGENCE!" sarcastically.

I heard a boom and before I knew it, I was at least a couple hundred feet off the ground. I randomly shot potatoes all over the cities and towns I flew past, not falling one bit. Never had to reload either so fuck logic.

Right as I was nearing a certain city that I would love to drown in my potatoes, I hit something, it looked like nothing was there but thanks to experience from the show, I knew this was a force field. Screw Canterlot. I fell, not caring until Discord caught me while smiling devilishly.

"Discooord, what did you do?" I asked him, knowing that he did something. He disappeared, leaving a note in it's place. Picking it up, I began to read.

Turn Around

That was all it said, so I did just that. Only to see the mane six and the princesses covered in potatoes holding my potato gun in their magic that looks like it exploded.

"Oh crap" Before anything could see, I sprinted out of their, laughing my ass off the entire way. Mainly at Celestia's face. Imagine her face when she was dealing with Discord before his reformation, now imagine the same thing except triple the annoyance and anger. That's what you had now.

I swear that if it wasn't for the absence of logic in this world, I wouldn't have given it a chance. Where... I heard a voice say. Where...are you?It sounded so familiar. Could it be? "Alisse?"

I heard the sound of sobbing, Why, why did you have to die Daniel? WHY!? My brain stopped there. I was dead? No, I was teleported into Equestria...or was this all a dream that I'm having while in a coma. Hmm. Too lazy to decide.

Something clicked in my head. A suicidal that I helped every day, thought I was dead. She might actually die. Shit, shit, SHIT! I sprinted on a trail, I don't know how long I did. I saw the Everfree Forest, and ran straight in. There were a few timberwolves that started to surround me occasionally, so I let off my killing intent at them. It was much more than before, they actually collapsed unconscious.

I didn't care enough. I found myself at the Everfree Castle. If I appear in their new castle, I can disappear in their old one right? Maybe not, after all...nothing makes sense here. I saw a shadow creeping inside and slitted pupils on the eyes of the shadows. The eyes were so familiar..."Nightmare Moon?"

The shadow nodded, before taking a defensive stance. "I don't want to hurt you" I say. "I just want to go home and the other princesses refuse to let me. Can you help?" She bobs her head sideways.

"There's no helping it, she'll die. Speaking of which, why was I brought here when she is the one suffering right now. SHE NEEDS HELP!" With that, my killing intent rose to the point where anything in Equestria could feel it. I noticed a flicker in front of me but was too pissed off to do or say anything, until it flickered again, brighter. When the light faded, there was a short blonde girl that I recognized instantly. She opened her eyes to look at me. "Daniel? Is this a dream?" She asks, about to cry.

I hold her close, "No, it's real...Alisse"