Chapters Fed The Hand That Chaosed Me
Chapter 2 ‘E Ain’t a Purdy One
Chapter 2: ‘E Ain’t a Purdy One
The thing about dreams is that you don’t remember the beginning; and the end leaves you questioning what your brain does when you sleep.
Two things I notice after my brain wakes up while I sleep; One, this is one hell of a soft bed, and Two; my brain has started to hammer like a subwoofer on max volume. My first action is to roll over and turn off my iPod thinking I left it on a 20 hour dubstep mix, but after not finding it, I feel the wind rip and howl around me. My only thoughts are that I should close that offending window, and what is with the semi-truck parked outside. I finally opened my eyes to see a lush green landmass rushing towards me, and as it turned out, that semi turned out to be a zeppelin style airship. And I’m about to crash through the bridge windshield. “Dam it to-” Is all I get out before I shatter my way aboard.
That bass-a-thon in my head has now spread to my whole body. Amongst the sound of glass dropping to the floor, a voice from somewhere yells “That piece of shit broke my window!” Not my fault. I blame gravity and velocity. To the right of me another voice chimes in, “The hell he come from?” Well when a mommy and daddy love each other very much-“He sure ain’t a purdy one.”
*Loading*--- *Please wait*
“Good questions, got a mirror?” I ask. The captain hands me a large chunk of glass from the ground. What I see surprises me. A scaled hand with claws holding the glass and a dark purple gator head with blue eyes, and two toned red, shaggy hair. I lower the shard to get a look at the rest of myself. The dark purple from my head turns into black the rest of the way down my body, my belly is dark gold, and my wings are the same color as my body. One slight surprise is that my spikes along my spine are translucent! As I finish looking at my “smashing” appearance, my jaw starts to throb and I notice the copper-like taste in my mouth. Using my tongue to find the source of the pain, I jolt at hitting the raw nerves in my gums were a tooth should reside. ‘Damn bastard knocked my tooth out.’
“Son, I grow impatient, what is your name?” The captain asks me. Since it’s a new body, I figure new rules. “My name is Ripper” I answer.
“You’re one to talk Mr. Butts “I smirk at him.
I barely notice Brosiph winding back with a right hook. Unknown reflexes kick in and I beat my wings to sidestep the punch while I plant my tail to trip him. I grab my missing tooth and his throat, pressing the two together. He eyes grow to the size of saucers as I whisper into his ear “I will kill you and wear your skin as slippers, your bones as jewelry, and eat the meat like candy” He pisses himself before I knock him unconscious with a solid hit to the side of the head. After I step over his body, I realize what I just did. “Well damn, I’m one cool mother-trucker.” Captain Kirk and Seymour just stare at me. “What?” I deadpanned.
“Nothing Ripper, it’s nothing at all.” Captain Kirk shakes his head.
Seymour asks his best question yet, “H-hey, y-you hungry?”
“Am I awake?” I challenge as I follow him down the corridors.
++++++++++
“Well, I don’t rightly know. My best guess is since that I’m not a full dragon do to my appearance, and I feel the need for murky waters, I’m a dragon/alligator hybrid. So I guess that means that I’m a Drakegator” I smile like an elated child while eating the rest of the forks on the table.
Author's Note
Hey there neighbor, hows it going? Shame time! I would like to have some art pieces done but I don't know anyone. If you do, I would be greatly thankful to you and the artist if we talked about it. Until next time!!!
Fed The Hand That Chaosed Me
Chapter 3
Bar Tabs
So in less than an hour in Equestria, I’ve managed to crash through a windshield, get a Discord grin, knock the piss out of someone- or somepony now. Might have to change some of my vocabulary-, and still be as cool as ever. Ok, that last bit might not be accurate. After apologizing for eating for most of the silverware and food, Captain Kirk offered me a job as a part of the crew.
We land in Stalliongrad and as I leave the ship, Kirk is standing next to the bulkhead with an ornate wood box set on his back. In the box are two matte black Desert Eagles with gold pin-striping down the barrels. “I figured you could use these more than I ever could.” He said with a smirk that looked like one when you give children paint, but don’t set the rules on where they can paint.
+++++++++++
“Balcony seat, please.”
“OK. Jack will take you to your seat, and a waiter will be with you shortly.” As she said that Jack motioned me towards the stairway. We reach the third floor and he seats me at a table for four. He pulls out a notepad “I’m Jack Khajit and I will be your server.”
“With a big enough tip, there are loopholes anywhere.” With that he walked over to a silver panel in the wall and sent my order off.
The place must've been somewhat busy, because it was about fifteen minutes later that Jack came back with my order. He sets the plate down and I just about explode with the sight before me; a half -pound prime cut steak with the best tasting marinade I’ve had, a fully loaded baked potato the size of a brick, and corn (why the corn! Thought I could escape that by leaving Washington!!). I’m not a drinker per say, I’ve tried a few labels before- my favorite being Shock Top Hard Apple Cider- but the cider Jack brought was better and harder, defiantly hand, or better said hoof, crafted. “Here is your order, and if you need anything else I’ll be a couple booths down.”
Deciding to break many rules of the multiverse I asked one of the most famous internet questions “Say, Jack, do you like mmmbananas?”
“Why would you care what fruit I like?”
For the love of LucasArts! “Do. You. Like. Mmmbananas. Bioch?”
“Only on the moooooon!!” He flutter-yells with a grin.
“So how did you get sent here?” I ask while enjoying my meal.
“A crazy lady hit me across the head with an umbrella. You?”
“Heh, I bought video games from Discord, bought us both Subway, and then he hit me a Gravity Hammer.” After I finish the steak and potato without damaging any of the silverware, alcohol does its thing and I feel a burp on its way up. “Heads up Jack, I feel a Fus Ro Dah burp coming!” Before he can move I belch a two foot flame while yelling ‘Mango’, setting the table and surrounding area on fire. Jacks face goes from shock of what I did to anger as the whole bar stared at me and the now aflame balcony. Seeing the trouble I’m in, I hop the balcony, land into a roll and marathon run out of the Hall and towards the Dockyard.
I glance back to see Mango, The Halls' Security and two dozen Royal Guards after me. With new gusto I search for Kirk’s ship. The only way I found it was because of a group of unicorns was wiping off the new windshield on the bridge. I spotted Seymour about to close the exit hatch, “Wait Seymour, I’m hopping on!”
“What’s the rush Ripper? You had another five minutes until final boarding.”
“Only half the town, 24 Guards, and the Boogie Man” Sarcasm, I love it.
Ignoring me he asks “So, I guess this means that you’re joining the Crew?”
Hearing the Guard shouting to find me, “If we get the hell outta here, then yes”
“Ok, I’ll go tell the Captain” he said as he headed off. Turning to close the hatch, I see the mob that chased me.
Time for a one liner! “This is the day you almost caught Ripper the Drakegator!”
Author's Note
Legal notes: I don’t own Jack ‘Mango’ Khajiit, Captain Kirk, or Jack Sparrows rum storage key. If you spot any errors in this point them out to me, I will gladly take any help I can get, and I believe this story needs art and I cannot draw characters, just abstract shapes. Thanks for reading Chiiiildren!
Fed The Hand That Chaosed Me
Chapter 4
You know how many kids act on Christmas, yea the whole up at dawn, stomping around the house, yelling their heads off and diving straight for the tree. At the sight of a certain mustached dracoquness in my room aboard the Enterprise (Yea I know, Captain Kirk and Enterprise. If ‘boldly go’ is said I will jump ship) I did the exact opposite and pulled both pistols out, aimed at his head, and emptied both magazines. Only to have a series of clicks instead of bangs sound off. I stare at them in confusion when he says “Safety’s on.” I face palm but knock my face with one of the pistols instead. “Smooth” he comments.
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-++-+
Discord’s Gifts: You are now a Kleptomaniac! With your bottomless pockets anything can be yours. Just clean it out every once in a while. One word, Spacespideers.
Author's Note
What is up people on the Internets!! hope you are enjoying your reading. i would like to thank Blackwing and Io and all the others for having such great stories, that they helped me create one of my own. Thanks for watching and see you all next time!!
Fed The Hand That Chaosed Me
Chapter 5 A Leap of Faith
Chapter 5
Many people have moments in their lives where the only option they have right then, with no time to think, is just do it. And that thought is followed by ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’ In most cases life happens; didn’t wear protection? Has a baby. Climb cliffs by yourself? Get stranded for 127 hours and cut off arm with a small knife. I believe that I have made my point. Anyways my moment happened when I pulled an Ezio Auditore Da Firenze. He jumps from towers into carts of hay; I however jumped from an Airship midflight with solid granite mountains below me. It’s some nice looking granite; probably marble, soon to have a coat of splattered reptile all over it.
That test, as I found out, was a drinking tournament. The entire ship, except for two skeleton crews so we would remain on course, was signed up. Rikoche led me through the ship and our destination was the cargo bay, where there was a clearing with a series of tables lined up into rows and columns. On the way there I managed to bang my forehead on half of the bulkheads. Once we reached the sign in table, I saw a banner that named Rikoche as the Champion three years running. I guess that explains her smile.
Author's Note
Sorry about the wait. might be a week or so until the next chapter. thanks for tuning in!
Fed The Hand That Chaosed Me
Chapter 6 Falling with Style
Chapter 6
I would love to tell you all about last night, how me and a mare I barely knew had crazy, wild, kinky sex of mass proportions that Equestria Daily After Dark would blush and 50 Shades of Grey would repent and live as a monk. Buuut… I don’t remember anything after the Semi-Finals. Zip, Zilch, Nada, Absolute Zero. I start to wake up and I notice a few things, one is the soft bed (felt like the cloud I fell out of), the sheets feeling damp, and a tan wing draped over my back- I like to sleep on my stomach-which belonged to the tan mare in the bed beside me. So, 1+1+wet= I got laid? I must have been thinking too much because she shifted closer to me and nuzzling her pillow.
“Morning Sunshine.” I whispered
“Mmm…. No Snaggletooth, stay. I like what you do to m….” She mumbled as she rolled over and rapped her hooves around my left arm. “Ugh… I did it again didn’t I? Well I’m going to shower and then we will talk.” She rolled out of the bed and walked into the bathroom, closing the door. In the silence that followed, I contemplated my next move and how to… Fuck it, I’m lying to you. As soon as she closed the bathroom door, I rolled over and slept.
After about 15 minutes I felt a rough kick to my hind leg, waking me up. I roll onto my back to find Rikoche smirking at me with a plate on one wing and a glass of milk in the other. On the plate was a godsend since I got here. Chocolate chip pancakes (oats not hay), hay bacon (a moderate substitute).
“You are so sexy right now.” I drool, staring at the food held by her wings.
“Hey, eyes up here you silver tongued snaggletooth. Anyways, I brought you some food. Eat it quickly because we a lot to discuss.” I had already eaten the whole plate and was in the middle of chugging the milk when she finished that sentence (old habits from back home, lotta work, not much daylight), so she continued. “First of all, whatever happened last night doesn’t count. I only remember us meeting at the Finals table and then waking up to your arm between my legs. And bases on what I heard in the Galley, you won the Drinking Contest, ergo the deal we had. So what is it you request from me?”
‘I guess that question remains unanswered.’ I shy away from her eyes feeling embarrassed about my request for her help. “I kind of need you to teach me how to fly.” I fluttershied.
“You need me to what?”
Swallowing my fear and the last of the milk, “I need you to teach me how to fly, because I honestly do not know.”
She gives me a blank stare, “Say what now? You’re telling me that a Dragon your size doesn’t know how! Explain that to me.”
I decide to tell her the partial truth. “Well at some point I must have known, otherwise I would be dead. All I remember is a guy hitting me in the face with a war hammer one afternoon. And the next I wake up as I roll off a cloud, fall at terminal velocity and crash onto the bridge of this ship. So, yea…” at my words her face goes from mirth and joking, to one of pity and sadness.
“Well shit. Not having the use of wings would suck, especially for pegasi. But didn’t you use your wings to sidestep Brosiph’s sucker punch?”
“Yea, so what is your point?” I deadpanned. Captain Oblivious, I choose YOU!!!
“My point is that you may not remember how to fly, but your body does!” She explains as if talking to a foal.
So that my readers is how I ended up where I am now. Falling with Style (Or with a lack thereof). Her unique thought process and logic was the cause of this exact method of learning. Basically, I fall from real high up, and hope that my instincts kick in BEFORE I impacted with the ground. Nothing had happened for about 500 feet, except for a 30 degrees wind change, and a thermal updraft had formed under me. I’ve no idea how I knew that, I just did. As a last ditch effort, I searched my brain.
“Rikoche, I ain’t flying!!” I yell to her.
And like a light switch, I start to decelerate as I gained lift and control of my trajectory. I stop and hover at 123 feet above the ground. “Hey! You did it!” She claps as she hovers in front of me. “Whoa, you wings are… well…uhh…your wings are quite scary.” She now had a ‘prey’ look on her face.
I look at the underside of my four foot left wing and see blood red on the membrane. “My badassness just leveled up. Twice.” I say with a smile across my face, only to then see pure fear and panic on Rikoche’s face. “What’s wrong?” I asked her with concern.
“I-It’s your s-spines. They’re the same color as your wings.”
To get a better look at what she had said, I flew down to a lake near us. Shure enough, the spines from my head down to my mid back, just below the wing base, was a glowing dark cherry red, But past my wings they were their usual translucence. The whole sight looked like a Mana bar from a role playing game like FF XII. After starring at myself, I feel a warmth building in my belly. Without warning I whip my head back, open my maw, and let loose a 10 foot green and black spiral cone of fire. As the last ember leaves my jaws, I look back at the lake. The water level is five inches lower than before. I look at my spines and the red has gone from my mid-back to between my shoulders. Oh, and my hair is now a dark crimson with a heavy fade to black. “Cool. Wonder what the beard would look like.” Is all I say as I fly back to Rikoche.
When I get within pony eye sight of her (I have way better vision), she seems to be slowly becoming less terrified. “What was that?”
“Magic. Ain’t gotta explain shit.” I feel full of power and a couple decades wiser. For dragons that’s like going from watching Saturday morning Cartoons, to watching Anime in Japanese without subtitles. That’s a decent leap!
“Okay. Want to race back to the ship?” she asked, slowly getting her composure back.
We set up side by side. On the count of One, we each get into a ‘runners start’ position. On Two, she readies her wings; but I bolt off like a bullet, laughing at the look of her face as I got a 40 yard lead before she raced after me.
Hey there! It’s the ever friendly, Floating Voice!! And tonight I have the recap of the chapter.
Author's Note
So I lied on that blog post. Ended up knocking this out before 2300. Anyways, here ya go!
A HUGE Thanks goes to Higherbeach and his advise on this chapter, and the Rabbit hunt i did Saturday. There's something about shooting guns that release writers block for me. Samething happened on my Christmas trip to Texas, ended up with the end to CH 11!
And I will let you all guess who the Floating Voice is! Thank you all.
Fed The Hand That Chaosed Me
Chapter 7 The Fist Time’s the Hardest
Chapter 7
The Fist Time’s the Hardest
So with my new ability, I got a job change. I went from a simple Deckhand to working in the Forge as an Apprentice. It’s a dream job for me, the warmth from the fire (so cozy!!), a near endless foo-ahem- ore supply, some gems that would make the highest class jeweler partake in some Red-light District activities just for a glance at them. But I don’t inspect them at a closer distance, or as The Master so rudely puts it-“shoving expensive materials that are hard to resupply down my damn scaly gullet”, I just prefer ores over gems. Anyways, my job as Forge Apprentice entitles me to the prestigious events such as: tending the fires, handling of the hot metals to the cooling barrels, sort and restock everything in the shop, and all of the janitorial needs. Bullshit aside, I do all the heavy lifting and grunt work.
The Forge Master is an old unicorn. His coat might have been a fairly bright blue but his time around the fire has tarnished it down to a more grey shade, and his mane is black- the original color only he and Death will know. I’ve asked him his name many times and his only answer is “Forge Master”. As it turns out, he is not a member of the crew and his ‘story’ is not really known. He has no problem with me and treats me like a sentient being and not some fire breathing monster bread for death and destruction, and is one of the few ponies that don’t have that small mind clouding look of fear when I’m around them. The only time he has had a problem was when we kept running out of iron, copper, gold, rubies, emeralds and sapphires. He had no idea why until I decided to try some copper-zinc mixed with a diamond and unceremoniously spit it out all over the fire pit extinguishing the fire. Since then he has enchanted the shelves to where if I stand too long in one spot I get a crippling electrical shock. In his defense, I did try to eat his anvil. So he has a legitimate reason.
It has been three weeks since I ‘came’ aboard the Enterprise, and all was well; I had settled into the life of a Forge Apprentice, haven’t had any misadventures like the Drinking Contest(Still the Champ!!), Me and Rikoche hangout every day during breaks and during the free hours after work. I think we’re on the way to being more than just friends, but I’m not going to rush it. All was well, until the Tuesday of the fourth week. On that day I had an unending desire to consume, but just pony food would not suffice!! The only materials that could possibly satisfy were forks and spoons. The best comparison I have is if you had a fresh scab, with poison ivy and oak on top of that, and mosquito bites. That’s quite an itch, right? Well that ‘itch’ intensified sevenfold when I reported to work, and ebbed and flowed based on my proximity of the Materials Storage Shelf. Around noon, the hunger consumed me and all hell broke loose. What had intended to be ‘walk over and grab Ore 95x7(high grade tungsten)’ turned into ‘Shoulder Charge barrier and inhale all materials’. It didn’t stop there either; I continued on to eat Mr. Forge’s tools as well! I was half way through his engraving set before I felt a change in my body- I’ve no way to explain it, one minute I’m comfortable and the next extremely not- and a new desire, warmth. With the new desire on my mind I made my way to the Fire Pit, climbed inside and laid myself down on the embers. Using my tail, I pumped the bellows to increase the flames. Unsatisfied with the low heat, I added some of my Dragon Fire- which is about the same temperature as Magma. Felling cozy, I drift off to sleep, with the last words I hear were “Oh my Celestia…”
+-+-++-+-+-+-+-+
I awoke felling rather cold compared to when I fell asleep. I open my eye to try and find out why, only to see an empty white room. On the other side of said room, sits a grey scale replica of me. “Ok… What’s ahh…going on here?” I asked Myself?
“A history Lesson” He replied.
“Great, School.”
“It’s mostly to pass the time while you shed your scales and grow. Hence the mass consumption of food and the heat” He chided.
“Ok, then what’s with the empty room?”
“So you don’t wake up and die.” He expressionlessly expresses.
“On that note, what book am I burn-ahem- reading today Teach?” I smoothly shift topics.
“History; More so, your Heritage.” He continues on. “Starting with what you are, an Accident. A one might stand between a drunken Dragon and an Alligator that was mistaken as a Dragon. You have no official Species Name, although Drakegator is accurate.”
“Well I’ll be… I’m your average American son!!!” I joke. He didn’t laugh. “Tough crowd”
He gives me a “are you done” look and continues. “Now, that Gator happened to be a Samurai. The Dragon was renowned for his unique fire that made the best metal and glassworks. You, you on the other claw have talent. Somewhere... And it’s all there, just waiting to be rediscovered.”
“So, a Samurai and a Glassblower are my parents?”
“Basically, yes. Now to get you on your way, I have two quests for you. Firstly, you need to learn and harness the magic that’s within you. Secondly, learn what you can about the ways of being a Samurai. As an extra piece of help, when you wake, you will have the blueprints for a few of the more basic Samurai weapons and various armor styles.”
“Alright, now that is what I call a quest starter” I smiled like a fool, “I’m quite grateful for the help, but one request?”
“Yes?”
“I mean no disrespect to the ways of the Samurai, but instead of their traditional armor variants, but could I get the plans to make Kantas style armor?”
“Sure, why not. Also, since you do not have someone to train you, Ronin will be the tile to use. And with that, our little session is done. I bid you farewell, and see you the next time.” He waved and started to walk off.
“Wait, Next time? I’ll have to do this AGAIN?!” I yelled.
Raising his left claw, he gave a two finger salute and kept on walking, “Yea, but don’t worry. The First One is Always the Hardest”
Loot and Skills:
* Blueprints for new Weapons and Armor
* You just essentially taught your own history to yourself
* Slightly more adept at being a walking Bic lighter
Fed The Hand That Chaosed Me
Chapter 8 Fires of Contemplation
Chapter 8
Fires of Contemplation
You know the warm and fuzzy feeling a good blanket will give you? Well my ‘blanket’ just blew out. Naturally, I inhale to set ablaze the dying coals.
“Ah HELL NO!!” is the only warning I hear before water is dumped all over me. Snapping my eyes open, I rush the offender, grabbing their wings and throat, and pin them against a wall. Opening my maw, ready to burn the Anti-Fire Blanket tyrant, only to stop at the look of pure primal fear in the pegasus’ eyes. Serves the Chicken right. Speaking of Chicken, I’m hungry. Thinking of food made me smile. My Lunch, at seeing my smile, sagged in relief.
“Foolish Pony” I growl, bringing a ball of fire to the edge of my throat, “Any last words?” Overused, but effective.
“Shit” I whisper, dropping the mare. Slowly turning, I face the portside wall and unleash the torrent of flames, burning a hole in the wall. Glancing at Her, I jump out and flap my wings, trying to gain as much altitude as I can. Reaching the apex (which later I found out was 2,000 feet higher than any ship has gone), I fall back and start to free fall. I don’t bother to control my speed or rotation. Why should I. I nearly, just nearly killed not only a possibly pregnant mare, but also a mare that been the kindest being to me. I deserve to paint the ground with crimson and ivory.
That dark thought prompted me to create a plan in seconds. Reach max velocity, then magic my way beyond that, and leave this life in a blazing glory. Gaining control of my fall, I angle myself downwards and increase my speed. Reaching my peak, I start to fell the strain on my wings, and channel magic to increase the power of each flap sevenfold. A darker thought creeps into my mind and I make use of my magic pants. Envisioning many heavy objects, my pockets bulge and my speed accelerates rabidly with each pound added. Max Velocity achieved. At this point I see the deck of the ship covered in a mass of colors, each individual seemed focused on me. I guess my ‘grand exit’ attracted the attention of the crew…
The sound of an ear splitting howl broke my focus from the crowd to a conical air pocked that had formed in front of me. Before I could investigate it further, the pocket exploded in a shower of black and purple star bursts that rode the shockwave. As I soar past the keel of the Enterprise, a second cone forms. But seconds after it forms a massive pain shoots through my chest and left side. Gasping for breath, my vision starts to fade and panic begins to consume me as I notice the rapid growth of the forest below. Frozen in pain and fear, I start to mentally shut down. Just before I pass out, I hear a soft voice calmly say “Green to teleport” before being consumed in green fire.
Before blacking out from the lack of air, I see a dismantled box speaker on wheels next to an unstrung cello.
"Captain! Large scale magic blast detected on portside! Reports of Fire in the Forge and a hole in our hull!" Lieutanent Reed reported, his console blaring with warning.
Captain Kirk sighed, leaning on the arm rest of his chair. "Send a crew to secure the damage, send any injured to Medbay. Lieutanent Sonar! Any signs of an enemy on the radar? Otherwise Private Ripper may have either gone AWOL or suffered and injury. Have head of Security investigate....." He really hoped the Dragon was alright, but he wouldn't be able to over look the damage and actions of the Private.
As the Captain was sorting his thoughts, the entire ship rocked to the side, a wall of black and purple energy washing over the ship, a deafening boom causing the glass of the Windscreen to rattle in their frames, causing the seasoned sailor to question his gauge of those he hired on.
Author's Note
Some origins are not what they seem
This story is not dead, just set on the back burner. Updates will be infrequent.
Please leave any spotted errors in the comments
Fed The Hand That Chaosed Me
Chapter 10- This one goes to 11
After I left Vinyls house, it was still dark out with the sparse lampost lighting the cobblestone streets. I blew a burst of fire over my claws, rubbing them together as a cold as fuck breeze forced me to fold my wings tight like a blanket around my shoulders and chest.
Deciding not to sleep on the streets, I meandered around town untill I found a big enough oak with most of it's leaves still green to sleep in. Staring up at the canopy, I wonder how I'd actually sleep up there. "Then again, I have slept in worse places before.... At least I can stare up at the night sky for once....." I shrugged before jumping to reach a low branch, slowly climbing up the trunk of the grand oak testing the strength of each foothold before continuing.
Less than five minutes later I find a nook big enough to stretch out on with a small gap in the leaves showing the brilliant lights of the night sky with the moon near the end of it's path. I chuckled as a tune came to mind, sleep and exhaustion pulling on me.
"Old McDonald had a deformed farm......with a hith hith here.....and a turrets syndrome chicken......"
I awoke to an all to familiar sensation of my head pounding as sounds around me seemed amplified. Rolling into my side and trying to hide away from the source, I let out a yelp as I feel myself falling.
Again.
Letting out a groan mixed with a yawn, I slowly get up and rub my snout freeing my sinuses as my wings come to rest at a half open position, similar in feeling like having your hands in a hoodies pocket. I open my eyes to see the midday sun, a lot of ponies staring at me. A lot of mares staring at me, with hungry, wanting kind of stares. Many red flags pop up as I mentally check the situation I'm in; for one, I'm shirtless and missing my sunglasses. Two, I have dew covering my scales that is reflecting the sunlight in what I'm certain is the classic 'Sexy Romance pose', and lastly and most alarmingly is the not-so-subtle scent of Heat....... After 'Che, the smell stuck in my mind as a precaution.
Playing the cards I'd been dealt, I gave a soft smile- making sure to not show my sharper teeth- and approached the closest mare. "Excuse me Ma'am, but I've seem to lost my shirt," I gave my chest and arms a quick flex, "and spent much of the night getting rather lost. Where may I find a clothing store and something to eat?" The mare, an earth pony with chestnut hair and a dull red coat, just stammers before her face turns many shades lighter and she faints. I take a step back in shock as a very feminine unicorn stallion cat calls, pulling my attention to him.
"Sweetheart, you'll want Rarity for your missing shirt, although you are quite fine without it..... Mhm.... Oh, and Sugarcube Corner for the snack. Although, if you want a meal, give me a call Hun...." He blew a kiss before walking away, a skip in his step.
Turning back to the mares that still were 'watching' me, I wordlessly asked for directions my mind stuck on pause. Following their instructions I decided to go to Raritys first as it was farther from the tree but would put me closer to food. And to hopefully get my mind back in order.
Thankfully nothing else happened as I arrived at the most ironic building. Carousel Boutique, shop and home to Rarity. Was built like a freaking merry go-round. With plaster ponies that had poles through them..... I shook my head before opening the door, a chime overhead signaling my entry.
A song song voice followed the bell from the room behind a pair of Velvet curtains. "Welcome the Carousel Boutique! Where everything is chiqe and magnif......" It paused as the unicorn mare turned her eyes to the dragon in her anteroom. Fear overriding decorum, she let out a shriek before falling onto her fainting couch, foreleg held over her face.
With a sigh at the situation, Sweetie Bell pulls out a bucket of mop water from the broom closet before tossing its contents at the dramatic mare. Said mare shrieks again and begins to stammer and stutter while glaring at the younger sibling before stomping up the stairs to undo the travesty that was her makeup and mane.
"Sorry about my over dramatic sister, Mister! Normally she's more, well less dramatic but she's been muttering about finding 'her sparkling prince to sweep her away'...... Anyways, I'm Sweetie Bell! What's your name?!" She excitedly asked.
"It's Ripper..... " He responded before stumbling forward as the front door was slammed open by a orange and red blue, stopping in front of the filly.
"Heya Sweetie Bell!"
"Well, besides Rarity being extra dramatic about him entering the shop? Nothing much!" She smiled as the other two turned to notice the six foot tall dragon standing over them. Ripper gave a small wave, expecting to run if they began to show fear, was instead given a look over by both the yellow earth pony with red mane holding a large bowl and a orange pegasus with a purple mane.
"Hey, a dragon that's not Spike....." The orange filly remarked.
"Of course it ain't Spike, Scootaloo! This guys too tall.... And his snouts shaped dif'rent..." The earth pony countered.
"Hey! It's not nice to make fun of somepony because they look different Applebloom!" Sweetie chided her friend.
Ripper harump'd as it seemed everyone who he met would mislabel him as a dragon, and he'd be hard pressed to fix it. His wings twitched in agitation as hunger pushed his patience thinner, the movement causing Scootaloo to stare at them in a mix of wonder and jealously at his rather large wingspan compared to her miniscule own wings. After a minute, Ripper turned his attention from hearing a blow dryer upstairs to the pegasus filly.
"It's rude to stare at others you know...." He dryly commented, curious about her interest in him.
"Sorry..... It's just that you have such huge wings! And I thought Rainbow Dashs were cool!" She exclaimed before catching herself and coughing into her hoof. "I mean, Dash is still the fastest and most coolest pony.... But you don't seem lame either....."
Ripper rolled his eyes, focusing on the three as a group. "Well, I believe proper introductions are in order. I am Ripper Shadowclaw. And who might you all be?" He asked, leaning against the door frame as Sweetie Bell took the lead.
"I'll take a guess and say that is some kind of club?" Ripper asked, sitting down on the floor with his back against the couch, as it seemed Rarity would be taking forever to even come back down stairs.
Applebloom smiled, "Well, yea! Although it's only tha three of us in it. But we spend our free time together trying different stuff to get our cutie marks, and we always have fun..... Or at least Ah do.!" She lightly blushed, her bow wiggling atop her head.
"Yea, untill we get covered in tree sap... . That stuff takes days to get out of my fur and mane!" Sweetie Bell gave a small grimace as the other two chuckled.
Ripper smiled and crossed his legs, getting comfortable. "Then I'd say you three definitely will get your marks. It may not be this week, but it will happen. Took me a while to figure out what I'm good at! And I am still learning."
Scootaloo perked up, her wings buzzing in excitement. "Say, what are you good at? I mean you don't have a Cutie Mark, but I think Twilight told us Dragons don't get one ....."
Ripper shrugged, "As far as I know i don't get a mark..... But I'm good at Drawing, can play the guitar, I'm pretty good with a Bow and arrow! I'd say I have some skills in flying..... Oh, and recently I was a Blacksmiths apprentice! But something came up and I left........" He trailed off, his mind focusing on the memory of Rikoche being choked by his claws, ready to eat her.
The three fillies looked to each other before nodding, group hugging the Dragon as one, causing Ripper to pop out if the depressive mood and smile.
"Thanks Girls, Hey, want to here a funny story to make up for me making everything sad?" He asked, receiving a collective of yes'. "Okay! This one's about a brick Mason that had to write a note for work.......
Dear Sir, I write this note to you to tell you of me plight and at the time of writing, I am not a pretty sight; me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly gray and I write this note to say why Paddy's not at work today.....
"And that was why he couldn't go to work." I finished the story, having tapped on my legs to a beat as I sang the classic Irish folk song. Three sets of laughter met my ears as I picked up on an audible snort from he hallway. "So I guess that's something else I'm good at, story telling! And I'm happy to have all four of ya as my first audience" I smirk as I hear a soft gasp from Rarity as Applebloom tilted her head confused.
"But there's only me, Scoots and Sweetie Bell!" She spoke, pointing a hoof at each of them.
"That's because our last guest had stayed hidden in the hall shortly after I started the story." I explained as Rarity stepped into the anteroom, a questioning look on her face.
"Forgive me for eavesdropping, I did not want to interrupt your tale....." She elegantly spoke, as her makeup and mane were rescued from it's drowning and she felt whole again. "But I must ask, how did you notice? I was certain I came downstairs quietly."
I raised my eyebrow (or whatever it is now) and stood up, stretching my stiff legs and wings. "Miss, I'm a dragon..... My senses are much more acute than yours." I gave a friendly smirk, tapping my snout with a claw. "And I smelled your perfume once you opened the door."
She seemed to blush before shaking her head, and motioning to the CMC. "Anyways, I believe Mister Ripper came here for some outfit and not to foal sit you three. But thank you for keeping my guest entertained while I was busy....." Her last words were heavy with intent as she gave Sweetie Bell a hard look, to whick the unicorn filly chuckled and gave her sister a cute smile and batted her eyes.
Scootaloo took the hint and hopped up, stretching her legs similar to a cat. "Yea! That was actually a not lame story! I don't even know if Dash can tell one like that....." She mused, opening the door with her friends in tow.
"Yea! Maybe ya can tell one my mah sister, she's been kinda grumpy these last few days with Granny not feelin too good and Big Mac got a twinge in his back...."
I smiled and held my fist out to them. "It was my pleasure! I owe you three big for helping me, so tell ya what. Next time I'm free, I'll spend the day with ya how ever you want to. Deal?" I asked, prepared for the upcoming shout as all three had wide grins shouting "Cutie Mark Crusaders: Dragon friendship finders!"
Me and Rarity chuckled at the sight as they left, the chime above the door ringing. "Now come along Darling, I will need your measurements before I make you anything..." She turned and walked through the velvet curtains, her magic pulling my hand behind her forcing me to stumble forward untill I caught my balance.
"Uh, to be honest, I'm not sure what I actually want. Mostly just something to cover my chest while keeping my arms and wings free..... Oh, and kinda warm too, cold weather doesn't make me too happy...." I rambled as she led me along having me stand on a podium with a full length mirror showing my near black and gold self looking back.
Using gentle nudges of her magic, Rarity had me hold my arms out to the side, her measuring tape quickly moving from limb to torso to neck and around. "Well, considering your size, I'm afraid I don't have anything pre made for a dragon. Most of my customers are ponies with the passing griffon ......" She looked me over, possibly running the numbers in her head before the gave a small smile, her eyes lighting up. "Aha!! How about a modified vest? No sleeves means unrestricted limb movement, and if I use the pegasus varient with the wing holes I can make it work!" She squeed and trotted off to a wall of fabrics, pulling roll after roll off the shelf before stopping with a roll of dark blue that seemed to shift to purple- like the Night sky right after dusk. "Here we are! I believe this is the absolute best color for it, you have a bit of a night sky theme in your coloration, so why not build upon it!"
I sat down watching the seamstress work, the details she put into her work impressing me. I'm no tailor mind you, but even I can see the pride stitched into the material that was quickly becoming a vest. As she was finishing, the thought occurred to me that I left my pay back on the Enterprise- along with all my other stuff. And I really dislike taking handouts if I can advoid it.
"Aaaand Done! One custom vest for you, Free of charge!" Her price tag pulling me from my thoughts.
"What..... I can't take it for free, like you said it's custom made- a special order. I don't have bits on me but I can pay you back....." I offered, standing up as she ignored my bargaining, slipping the vest over my wings and arms and inspecting the fit.
"Oh nonsense! It's the least I can do for you watching the CMC while I was..... Indisposed. By the way, how did you get those three to sit still and pay attention to you?" She asked, satisfied with the vest and taking a step to the side of the mirror giving me a full look of the vest.
"Honestly? Kids just like me so much... I guess I'm entertaining or something. It's not really something I've focused on." I explained moving my wings and arms to get a feel of wearing the vest. Overall? It's great, and my magic color changing pants seemed to agree -having turned to a dull grey color. "And thanks a bunch Rarity. You really have earned me as a customer. I definitely will come back when I want something else!" I gave her a smile before stepping down from the platform.
Rarity smiled and walked me out to the anteroom. "Anything for a friend in need! If you're feeling hungry, My friend Pinkie works at the local bakery down the street, and Twilight works in the Golden Oaks Library in the center of town if you want to pass the time!" I thanked her and left the Carousel Boutique, my stomach voicing the next stops priority.
Smirking I start to stroll down the street, admiring my new vest and the reduced chill I felt because of it.
Author's Note
Wholly freaking crap! The absolute longest chapter yet, and only 300 words was the original chapter!!!!
I apologise for dropping this so long ago, but life bullied me through college, and now I'm close to joining the Army.
My point is I'll try to work on this dusty idea for a while more.
Thanks for reading, and if you spot something wrong let me know! (Almost no editing and written scene to scene)
Fed The Hand That Chaosed Me
Chapter 11- A step forward....
After leaving Raritys' place, I wanted to frly around town to work up more of an appetite. Never really liked eating outside of meal times, or constantly snacking. And judging by the chime of bells from a clock tower, I had half an hour before considering an afternoon meal.
And I'm fairly certain that the Stallion from earlier was following me and I jetted out of there definitely not wanting to face that kind of music.
So, a quick but lazy flight later landed me at the front of Sugarcube Corner, having spotted the Library and a massive apple orchard on the outskirts- and now I'm hungry for blueberries. Walking in I was greeted to a few colts and fillies enjoying their treats, the ever so mixed aroma of a bakery and the most cheerful pony I've come across since Cemor got his new bar on his uniform ....... And now I'm down again. Shaking my head, I stand in the rather short line to order, staring at the display case trying to pick something good. Before I realized it, I was at the counter a walk of fluffy pink taking up my vision.
"Hiya!! Welcome to Sugarcube Corner!....." The overly cheery mare paused before gasping and floating similar to a balloon before letting it all out just as a balloon would, squeaks and all. "OH. MY. CELESTIA!!!!! I totally didn't have a chance to greet you in town this morning! Hi I'm Pinkie Pie! I spotted you when I took Gummy for a walk- he's my pet alligator but he has no teeth so he's actually harmless and totally my best friend, except for my other best friends- Oh! Nice vest! I guess you already saw Rarity!!! But when I walked by the tree to were in you were still asleep so I didn't want to wake up because I get a little of a cranky pants when I'm woken up early....." She sped talk my mind giving up after ten seconds ranting about anything and everything related to me, her and all in between. I tuned back in when I heard her ask my order before she wiggled in an odd way. "Oh, as an apology for not greetings you; have this Blueberries muffins and Oh on me! I insist." She smiled wide taking me by surprise as I once again remembered I had no money.
"Uh..... Thanks Pinkie. I'll pay you back for this, promise." She just eagerly nodded as I took my food and turned to find a seat. I spotted one near the door, with a window letting in sunlight. Smiling, I take a seat, moving it so I could open my wings more and warm them up. The weather may be warm on the ground, but a half hour in the air left them aching. Warm and fed, I spaced out cloud gazing when I heard a heavy hoof knock on the table causing my to jump and hit my head on the window. "Gah, mutha f-.... Hey. Whatcha want?" I asked the grey coated Stallion in a dark blue uniform- judging my his size I'd say he was an Earth pony.
"Are you a Mr Ripper Shadowclaw? Currently employed on the HMRAS Enterprise..." He asked in the natural cop tone.
"Uh, Aye I am. Why you asking?" I have no problem with people doing their job, but I was almost asleep when he startled me.
"Your CO want to speak to you about certain events that happened. Any questions should be asked to them. A five minutes flight North by Northeast will land you on the airship. Good day Sir." He didn't so much salute me as nodded his head before leaving.
Confused, I left the bakery found my heading and flew off every possible question and senerio running through my head. Like since when did I have a Commanding officer? As far as I knew, I was unranked and was just an apprentice. Just like the cop said, five minutes found me at the Docking Bay of the Enterprise. A security pegasus led me through the halls, stopping at the Head of Security's office. The guard knocked twice before standing guard outside as a gruff voice and a green aura opened the door with a "Private Ripper? Come in an sit down, please."
I followed his request, already having that feeling of being in the principals office. A grizzly brown unicorn was seated behind a desk, with a metal placard the only decoration in the office. Unsure on what he wanted with me, I stayed quiet untill he spoke first. "My name is Corpral Cage, Head of Security aboard the HMS Enterprise. For the record, please state your name and rank...." He spoke after using his magic to pull a dull red crystal from a drawer, placing it on top of the desk as it started to glow.
"Uh.... Private Ripper Shadowclaw.... Sir." I spoke, that uneasy feeling growing.
"Thank you. This interview is for the purpose of my investigation towards the recent assault on an officer, property damage to our Blacksmiths workshop and the damaging of a Royal Battleship during piece time and outside of a training drill. Pending a Full Trial, I shall act as Council." He turned to me, a neutral look on his face. "The charges placed against you are grounds for a Court Martial. Depending on your oral accounts, you may face Jail time." He motioned with his forehoof for me to begin.
And so I did. Every bit except for what went on in my head during the growth. How as a dragon- another bit I hid was my mixed blood, easier to explain things as a dragon- being woken up during a Growth resulted in aggression and a lack of forward thinking. My relationship to Rikoche, which is probably over. And my..... Attempted suicide. That last one caused me to pause as the actuality of what I nearly did shined a light on some mental problems I had.
By the time I recounted everything around that afternoon, the sun was setting over the horizon and my mental state was poor. "If that is your final statement, then you are dismissed Private." He paused long enough to stop the crystal recorder, placing it back in the drawer it came from. "Since you are the suspect of an investigation, I have to order you to have no contact with the Victim. You may gather your personal effects, but are hereby placed on Suspended Leave. Off the record Son, I know it may be an accident but the evidence is hard to dispute. You're fresh, so I'm not hitting you with Desertion, and you're not discarded either. But stay in town, period. You will have a guard following you, and they will escort you back to the ship if you're needed." He sighed, leaning back in his chair. "You have half an hour to get your stuff..... See to it that you don't waste it. Dismissed, Private." I gave a salute before he waved me out, a different guard following me as I went to my room.
As I was gathering my personal belongings, I realized many things. One was how little I owned; I'm not greedy or anything, but I literally owned a sword, a pair of glasses, pants and a vest, and a gun. And I was living in a rented out room the size of a small kitchen.
Two was just how much I just messed up. Not only did I attack a girl, I probably broke any trust she had in me. And I nearly went to jail because I acted like a child throwing a temper tantrum.
And lastly was the fact that I so quickly chose death to solve a problem I didn't want to face. I may be a bit of a loner, never really liked groups of people well, but I've never been so bad in my life that killing myself seemed like my only choice. A hardened shoe hitting the bulwark knocked me out of my introspection, the pegasus guard holding up three feathers. Sighing, I strapped the pistol around my waist and the sword over my back, handle tilted for a right hand draw. Nodding to the guard, I left the room and jumped ship from the Cargo Bay, my mind a mess and my heart in a knot.
Aiming for Ponyville, I slowly flew not paying attention to direction or weather. I checked out and moved on autopilot.
Author's Note
Hey! Couple days of work for a 2 part chapter.
Only slit because I'm uncertain about keeping the chapters short or aiming for 2k+ words like in chapter 10.
Let me Know your opinions in the comments below.
Grim
Fed The Hand That Chaosed Me
...... Too Many Steps Back
Twilight had just finished locking up the Library for the day, even getting Spike to help her secure the doors and windows for the storm set to roll in tonight. Looking over her 'Meduim seasonal Storm Checklist', she smiled at having one item left: upstairs loft sunlight. She had saved it for last as she could get a glass of water from the kitchen before heading upstairs towards her bedroom, the window well within reach on the way. Rolling up the scroll, she trotted from the open foyer that functioned as a library and an entertaining room and toward the small kitchen, the sound of thunder rolling in the distance and moving closer my the minute.
"Uderoth howls in anger..... Never understood why Shinny would say that and smile during every storm...." Twilight chuckled and shook her head, shutting off the lights before walking up the stairs, glass of water in her magic. She created the top of the stairs when a flash of light startled her, a loud crack of sound shook the windows in their frames. Deciding to not dally any longer, Twilight reached up and grasped the window lock with her magic when a black mass crashed through the window, sending shards of glass to the floor below with it. Shocked, she cast a quick fix it spell on the broken glass before the rain could come cascading through. Remembering what caused the need for the spell, She rushed back down the stairs to find a dragon sprawled on her floor, wings cut from the glass and scorch marks along it's spine and a smoldering section over the left eye.
"Just whar happened to you?....." She whispered, giving a squeal of surprise when the dragon spasmed and let out an arcid smelling cough before seeming to pass out.
Stupid, stupid, stupid! I chided myself as rain soaked me to the bone, thunder and lightning on my tail. It had to only been fifteen minutes since I left the Enterprise and a dam monsoon was upon me, riding my ass. And I'm sad to say, it was the second crack of thunder that broke my from my daze. And I definitely didn't scream like a girl...... Anyways, I had tried climbing higher, but I could never crest the top of the Strom. I'd get 30 feet from it when I loose all lift and drop back below. On the second attempt, a bolt of lightning struck to my right and arking off to conect with my back causing a tingling sensation to run up my spine. The third attempt was as I neared the outskirts of Ponyville. I was beginning to tire out, but felt like I could make it to town hall before I was spent. But as I leveled out from another failed attempt, a sudden gale caused me to vear to the left as a massive mother of all lightning bolts came down, striking my left side of my face.
All I felt was pain as my vision turned to a blinding white, and my face was on fire. I don't know why or how, but I felt more lightning hit me before I felt something shatter and blacked out with one last thump as I'm sure my head bounced off of floor.
A room made of white..... Something. Soft to the touch and pleasantly warm. But didn't feel like anything. I sat up and rubbed my head, pausing when I felt a pair of knots near the top of my forehead. I snapped out of my confusion as a garbled shout came from in front of me. The source..... Was some blurred biped- like having bad vision and no glasses blurred, that pointed at me and shouted again. It's cry of panic was echoed further away, drawing my attention to a massive statue of..... Me? I mean, overall looked like me, but it only had it's left arm. The right was cut short at the elbow, and the right wing was missing a third of the membrane while the left was just bone. Before I could move to see it more, a heavy presence pushed me back down, a distorted voice speaking as my vision faded to nothing.
YoU ARE toO eArLY MEIN FùER!!
".....ey! Hey! Are you ok?! Oh, please be ok..... I really should have taken Fluttershy up on those first aid classes...... I can't send a letter to Celestia over this, oh dear ....." The voice continued as feeling slowly came back to me, and I wish it didn't. Absolutely everything hurt, and was nothing but pins and needles. And that wasn't considering my head, which felt like I stated at the sun for hours and then drove two spikes through my forehead. I would have just laid there, but someone would probably bust their brain worrying over me or I might be paralyzed.....
Fear really help you make a decision.
Ever so slowly and painfully, I moved to put my arms under me and walk my upper body up off the floor, stopping once I was sitting upright. Keeping my eyes closed and the second worst headache from growing, I tried speaking to Miss panic. "Oi...... Frauline. Iahm phine......" Ok, mouth is still tingling. I coughed to get her attention, shifting my legs into a more comfortable position. I guess my movement startled her because she stopped rambling to let out a gasp.... And rambling again!
Frustrated, I growl and open my eyes to stare her down. She slows her rambling, ending it with a rather cute squeak as I notice just how bright everything seems. Like I see every detail as if it was day but it's pitch black outside and there are no lights on. Deciding to think about it later, I focused back onto the purple unicorn in front of me. "Firth. Soury abut tha window. Two, stoop panikin. T'ree, I'm full o' light'n......." Sure enough, I could actually feel the electric energy flowing through me! I moved my arm and spotted faint arc burns along my scales that glowed a dull blue. Before I got too lost in the latest development of myself, She spoke up.
"Are you certain you're okay? Judging by the burn marks you took atleast two direct hits and multiple arcing hits. I would almost estimate that to 1.20 gigawatts......." She had a lost in thought look before she shook her head. "Unfortunately, I don't have any credited book on Dragon Anatomy not am I licensed doctor. So I will take your word." She smiled before holding out a forehoof, "I'm Twilight Sparkle. And you are?"
"Ripper...." I went to shake her hoof but a small arc of electricity jumped from my claws to her hoof, causing her to squeak and shake her hoof with a smile. "Sorry. I was flying from work when the storm snuck up on me....." I explained feeling better in my body but still having the headache.
Twilight tilted her head, seemingly confused. "Snuck up? I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude but there has been a notice about the storm for two days all over town....."
I rubbed my sore head, shuffling my wings to work out the stiffness. "I kinda travel for work..... Just got to town late last night." I don't like lying to people that are helping me, but I also don't feel the pride of claiming to be a Private of the Enterprise. I might quit, I don't really know. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, clearing my mind before my depression spiked again. "If you don't mind, can I wait out the storm while I'm here? I feel fine but I think I'm a walking lightning rod now and I am definitely not flying again tonight......." I asked after opening my eyes, feeling the soreness of my wings and the small cuts in their membranes.
My exhaustion must've shown in my looks and voice because Twilight softly smiled. "Of course! There is a reading nook with some pillows you can sleep on. I apologise for not having a couch. This is more library than a house, and it only has the one bedroom that I share with my adopted brother Spike." She gave a determined nod before lighting up her horn. "If you need help, I can help you walk to it....." She offered. I tried to stand but felt my legs lock up as my muscles protested.
Sighing I waved her off, "Thanks, but just give me a few of the pillows, I can't move......" Twilight gave another kind smile before teleporting three large pillows, placing two behind me against the wall, and letting me hold the last one as I leaned back hearing my spine softly pop.
"If you need anything else, I will be upstairs. Kitchen is past the stairs, and there is a bathroom to the left of the stairs. Goodnight, and I hope you feel better tomorrow." I gave a silent nod as she went upstairs, slowly shifting myself to lay facedown, one pillow under my chin and the other two to my chest.
Still feeling the soreness of my everything, I let out a happy sigh as my body relaxed and I willingly passed out.
Author's Note
Hey all!
Was stuck- and still am as I'm writting this note, in a traffic jam and was able to write over 3/4ths of this chapter.
Hope you enjoy and I shall work on the next chapter!
Ripper vs. Queen of the Nerds!!!
View Online
Fed The Hand That Chaosed Me
Chapter 1 Chaos doesn't order the Combo meals
Chapter 1 Chaos doesn't order the Combo meals
Chapter 1
Chaos doesn't order the Combo meals
Ya know the rules your parents tell you as a kid, you probably do not. Well the main ones are the rule about talking to strangers, another rule about accepting gifts from said strangers, and to not play in the middle of traffic. In 20 minutes I broke those three simple rules and got indebted to a chaos god and launched into a world thought to be fiction.
You would think that I’m a super fool, and you'll be 13 percent right. The other 65 percent is that I’m an ass to most people I meet, except for women- I’ve been raised to treat them better, and 20 percent of chaos induced insanity. Man can I ramble. My name is Dale, for now at least. This saga all started when I rode down to the local GameStop in Kelso, Washington. Now I’m just a nineteen year old who behaves for his mother (when she is within earshot. I’m a teen, what do you expect?), I’m six foot five inches tall with dark red hair, the start of a bushy beard, and moles along my neck in the shape of a cane (yea laugh it up). I mostly wear cargo pants and rude humor based decal t-shirts with combat boots. Oh and bass thumping headphones, can’t forget the bass.
I am an avid gamer and it irks me not to have a complete game series but I’m not CDO, that’s OCD but the letters are in the right order. My plan was to fill the holes in my Halo collection on this expedition. I owned Halo 3, ODST, Reach (honestly I think Bungie fucked up on that one), and Halo 4. Now I’m not a captain oblivious, but there were clear signs that I promptly ignored. Such as a promo for a large cash prize giveaway, a floating, rotating pink and yellow tree outside, and a very curious looking employee with a toothy grin and a hat with the mane six from My Little Pony on the bill and one hand had some sharp nails, just the one hand! Still leaving common sense at the door like a dog, I walk up to the counter and asked for the games I was missing. He said “Sure bro, want to try for the promo?”
Figuring Jabba the Hut had better chances at getting Megan Fox, Lady Jane, and Black Widow into bed, I replied “Why not.” After a form that had ‘Do you like bananas? If so, where?’ as a required field that disappeared as I finished it. The symphony of our growling stomachs drew my attention.
I asked “Hey want a sandwich?” To which he replied “Yea, it’s my lunch break anyways.” He rings me up and the total is $65.94 but I have the Power Ups Rewards card which gave me a 20 percent discount and I had a couple of coupons that gave me $5.50 off. I hand him $50.
He opens the cash register but then frowned “Sorry bro, no change.”
I face palmed “Alrighty then, tell ya what. I’ll go to the subway next door and break the 50, buy lunch and then pay you. Ya want a meatball sub?”
He grins “Yea, and a medium size Pepsi.”
I leave and head next door to subway. The “sub master” that handled my food looked a little peculiar as well. He had ashy skin with jet black hair, green and red eyes. I just took the eyes as special contacts. After getting lunch and paying for the games, the man's smile widened as I handed him a sub. We started talking about random and unrelated topics. Mostly about how Halo progressed, how Bungie fucked the sprint action in Reach and how 343 saved the series. How Master Chief is basically a god. At some point I asked a series of obvious questions. Starting with what his name was.
His response was coupled with a trolling grin “My name, Dale, is Discord.”
I go captain oblivious and carry on my query. “Why did the promo form ask if I liked bananas?”
“Do you like mmmbananas?” He countered.
I finally catch the joke, “Depends if they’re on the moon or not.”
With a sinister yet gleeful smile he hands me a gold card, “Well answered brony!” My face goes whiter than a bleached towel in a snowstorm in Antarctica at his words- just so you know, I’m what you could call a ‘closet’ Brony. I’m open about My Little Pony to other Bronies I know, but unknowledgeable to nonbronies- and it finally hits me like a head slap from Gibbs. Discord + Mane 6 hat= Yo ass be stupid.
At seeing my face, he asks the one question all bronies’ read in fics and want to be asked, “Want to go to Equestria?”
My mind kicks into overdrive and I start to negotiate. “Yes, but I have a few terms.”
“First of all, I want to be a dragon mix; a Drakegator if you will, one with all the dragon attributes but has more of a gator look. Secondly, hammer space access. Third you help me when I ask for it, not when you feel like it and exactly as I ask it, no abstract interpretations. Finally I want three favors that I don’t have to give anything in return.” His prolonged silence starts to wear on my composure and nerves. During his silence I noticed that my foot-long sandwich has lasted longer than it should have. (Ya so what if I’m still eating! I’m always hungry, my mom and dad would even joke and call me “The Garbage Disposal”).
He locks eyes with me, and with a straight face that held the biggest smile I had seen, tells me, “Deal.” I was too busy staring at him in disbelief to notice him winding back with THE Gravity Hammer at my face. The last thoughts I held before I blacked out where “DAAAUUUMM!! Hey, that bastard didn’t get any chips; you always get chips with a sub and drink! You cannot trust those who don’t do combo meals!”
Author's Note
Thanks for visiting! I hope that this will continue and grow. If you find any mistakes or errors just let me know. Now go to sleep, I'll bet its after midnight for you and ya got work in six or so hours.
Fed The Hand That Chaosed Me
Chapter 9 Problems to Solve; Talks to have
Chapter 9
Problems to Solve
==Vinyl’s POV==
“That was one of the best parties I’ve turned tables at ever! Just too bad I blew out a speaker…” I say to my cracked trademark glasses. I pause under a streetlight to fix them with a little bit of magic and smile at the ‘new’ pair of shades. Setting the glasses on my head, I check my surroundings before resuming the block and a half walk left to my house. As my front door comes into view, I feel the effects of the party finally ending at four a.m. Fighting a yawn, I open the door and quickly step inside. I make my way to my bed but stop as I pass the living room. What was a simply decorated room was now a burnt and charred pit. And in the center was a DRAGON!!!! My heard races and I let out a high pitched scream, immediately covering my muzzle with my forehooves, but it was too late. The beast stirred awake and focused its beautiful blue eyes solely on me…. Wait, if I’m about to die, then why am I so ‘excited’?
==Ripper==
A loud scream pulls me from my pseudo coma. Slowly opening my eyes, a white unicorn with electric blue hair catches my focus. Feeling a bit sour about being rudely woken up, I childishly asked the mare “Why’d ya wake me up pretty lady?”
“W-well,… you’re a d-dragon… that burned my h-house… and was s-sleeping on the ashes…..it scared me…” She stammered out.
“And now you’re calling me names…” I snapped back, somewhat offended. “But I can understand your reasoning, and for that, I’m sorry.”
“But what about my stuff? You burnt my couch, my floor….. Dear Celestia, I left my Bass cannon in here……” A look of horror pulling on her muzzle. Sitting up and stretching, I wince as my wing slams into a sharp corner. Lifting my wing to rub away the pain, I hear a very high pitched squee. Turning my head, I see Vinyl leaning against the door frame and giving me a sultry, half lidded stare.
“Hey Sweetheart! Ya alright?”
“Oh I’m sure you’ll make me all better…” Sweet Discord, that Voice!!! Its hard to describe, but it literally left my jaw hanging. But some whimpering and teeth clattering snapped me out of it, causing me to close my mouth and focus on her. “Please don’t eat me….”
“Ain’t that illegal?” Snapping out of her spontaneous lust, she stares at me with a dumbfound look and a lingering blush. “What?”
Deciding to act upon the switch of moods, I start up a twenty questions. “Why would I eat you? I’m somewhat civilized and disciplined to know what’s food and what’s not.”
Collecting herself, she walks over to an unsinged part of the couch. “I see your point”
Laying down, I sigh as my back straightens out, turning my head to look at Vinyl. “So… I assume you have some questions?”
“Yes. Firstly, who or what are you?, how did you get in my house, and…. areyousingle?”
“It’s a long story. Do I have to tell every detail?”
“No, just give me the short version”
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. “Okay… I am Ripper the Drakegator, a drunken mishap between a Dragon and Alligator. My current entrance to your house was from an attempted suicide, just found out that what I thought was my home was a lie, and to top it all off, I nearly burned and ate my possibly pregnant marefriend.” Judging my the silence, her jaw must be on the floor, or she is calling the Guards to arrest me.
“Alright…. You’re going to explain the ‘murder my marefriend’ part.” She finally spoke.
Cracking an eye open, I see her still on the half burnt couch. “If you insist. I had been taking a magic induced nap- happens whenever I get a growth spurt- when someone used cold water to wake me up. Fire Dragons do not react well to water suddenly being pored on them, and I instantly grabbed the offender by the throat and pinned them against a wall. With a flame in my throat, and a hunger in my stomach, I asked if they had any last words… “you might be a father” shattered my focus, and I saw my marefriend in tears for her life, staring at the monster about to eat her.
So, I blew a hole in the side of the ship and flew away. Acting on impulse, I flew as high as I could before free falling with the intent of shattering the Monster into a bloody mess on the ground. And like a fire, I figured out ways to maximize my speed, therefore cementing my death. But after nearly breaking two sonic barriers, and nearly blacking out, I hear a voice say “Green to teleport”. I landed in your house and blacked out.”
Vinyl shakes her head. “Damn…. That is some serious fucked up shit. But, you are a major dumbfuck.”
I raise my eyebrow—or whatever I have for eyebrows. “How… How so?”
She looks me dead in the eyes, as if this isn’t the first time she’s dealt with a suicide attempt. “Well, for one, you tried to use death as a means to escape from a mistake you made! And did you even consider how your selfish act would affect those around you! Assuming you and this mare are serious, how would killing yourself HELP her!”
Her face gains a less stern look, and her voice a softer tone. “First off, you need to find her and apologize. Weather or not she forgives you for nearly eating her, is up to her. Secondly, if she is pregnant by you, then its your obligation to stay with her and raise the foal. Alternatively, if its not your kid, then still help her out some- you owe her that much. Finally, never forget that you tried to use death as a means for escaping your actions towards her; but don’t let it hold you back, learn from it and grow.”
I nod, her points being a very valid course of action. “Fair. But how do I apologize to her? ‘Hey, Sorry for almost eating you. Hugs?’’ I gave a shrug, apologies being something I couldn’t do without sounding like an uncaring ass.
Vinyl yawns, the gig and her sudden shock of a dragon appearing in her living room catching up with her. “Go to Sugarcube Corner tomorrow morning and tell Pinkie Pie you need to apologize to somepony special… Or she might meet you first. Whichever happens, she will help you out.”
I smile and get up, not wanting to impose on Vinyl. “Thanks Vinyl, for everything.”
She stretches her forelegs and yawns. “No problem. Just next time, knock or something before crashing in my house.” She grinned.
Author's Note
A/N: SO!!!!!! After a “momentary” lapse of interest in writing, I am back at this. This is the 9th out of 11 pre-written chapters that give me half of the direction I was going. But of that half, only a third is actually used, but I hope the end product is enjoyed by you readers.
As usual, I self edit and any spotted errors would be appreciated.
Thanks for reading.
