Liberty Prime Invades- I Mean, Saves Equestria

Liberty Prime Invades- I Mean Saves Equestria

Part Ten: Democraship!

“Syria!?” God shouted into his iGod. “What the fuck is a Syria?”

“It is the coontry deh amurricans are sendin’ war to!”

God spent a second organizing his thoughts in silence. “Oh… right. Well, you see, Allah, I need new videogames to play and new movies to watch, so I kinda messed with your stuff and made the Syrians have the GREAT idea of using chemical weapons!”

“But they doodn’t actally use them!”

“Ah, you see,” God grinned. “Sneaky shit right there, ‘cause ever since 9/11, which was funny as fuck, I signed a contract which said I can’t mess with your believers.” He stretched his legs. “So you see, I kinda sneaked around that and took a big shit in Syria, which the dumb humans consider chemical weapons. So, shit happened, and people will make movies and videogames out of this, which is awesome!”

“...”

“You gonna share?”

“Of course, Allah!” God stood up. “You’re my best friend! I’ll make sure the content gets to your heaven. Also, you should drop by. Liberty Prime’s fucking up the ponyverse again! I swear, I had to give the guy who made the story schizophrenia just to make him write more of this shit. Now it’s all over the multiverse!”

“And it’s only on the BUH!”

Inside the Royal Amerilot castle, Liberty Prime sat in his massive throne made out of communist corpses while wearing a crown made of nukes. On his shoulder was Applejack, on his right hand was a puffy Luna, which he squeezed constantly, and sitting on another throne next to his was his wife Celestia. He listened intently to a badly drawn pony as he was holding an audience with unhappy people. Boring shit.

“And uh, I don’t have coins to buy a house, and uh, I’m not very happy is all…”

“ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU ARE NOT HAPPY WITH DEMOCRACY!?”

“No! Please no…” the pony muttered, shedding some tears of sadness.

Liberty Prime’s eye turned red. “WHAT YOU NEED IS… JUSTICE!”

“Yes, Justice for all!” the pony giggled in happiness. It seemed as if he was going to change the world for good.

Not really.

With a swift motion of his left hand, Liberty Prime grabbed a firm grip of Applejack, prompting a squeaky sound out of her. She squeezed out the words, “Please, not again…”

Liberty Prime stood up while Celestia cried in laughter. “JUSTICE! I SUMMON YOU!” he yelled out as he launched Applejack at the unhappy pony, causing a miniature nuclear reaction.

They each watched as the smoke dissipated, revealing Applejack, now stuck head-first onto the floor. “Next!” Celestia yelled out.

Twilight Sparkle approached the throne. “Hello there, King!” She smiled awkwardly, hoping that she would not get killed while at it.

“Oh great, it’s Twilight…” Celestia sighed.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT!?”

“I just, uh…” Twilight muttered. “It’s just come to my attention that you don’t know about the values of friendship!”

“FRIENDSHIP!?” Liberty Prime leaned down and grabbed Twilight by the scruff of her neck. Applejack was still stuck on the ground nearby. “THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING A COMMUNIST WOULD SAY!” He brought her closer to his face. “ARE YOU A COMMUNIST!?”

“Nonono!” Twilight squealed while she kicked the air in panic. “It’s just one of the good things we have before you fucked- I mean, saved us all!”

“I SEE…! WHERE CAN I GET SOME OF THIS FRIENDSHIP!?”

“Oh! I uh…” Twilight facehooved.

Queen Celestia snickered. “You can always go back to Ponyville and have Twilight and her friends teach you about it.”

“Aaah!” Twilight screamed as she was dropped to the floor. Liberty Prime stood upright again.

“I SHALL GO TO PONYVILLE AND LEARN ABOUT FRIENDSHIP!” He began to stomp out of the castle, screams of panic coming out of everywhere. “I SHALL ALSO NAME IT… DEMOCRASHIP!” he yelled out as he stepped through a building, killing dozens.