Liberty Prime Invades- I Mean, Saves Equestria

Liberty Prime Invades- I Mean Saves Equestria

Part Eight, Hail To The King, Baby!

God was deep into the atmosphere of the video game he was playing on his PC. He used to have a Mac, but he realized it was a piece of shit, hence the death of Steve Jobs. Nevertheless, he was enjoying himself, and was even near the ending of said game.

“Yeah! I finished it- Wait, what the fucking fuck?” he stood up, his face showing pure anger. “What kind of ending is this!? By my mighty ass, this sucked!” he yelled, then flipped the desk over in a fit of anger.

The god of all gods reached into his beard and pulled out his Android phone, because iphones suck (Damn hipsters). He dialed a number and brought it to one of his ears, waiting for someone to answer.

“Hello? Yeah, it’s me, God,” he said. “Schedule Gabe Newell for diabeetus, brain cancer, a heart attack, and a car crash ASAP.... Yes, I’m sure. It was funny with Mass Effect, but come on! I loved half life! And yeah, the fat bastard had it coming anyways. And make sure everyone gives a shit... Also, give the entire development team cancer.... Alright, talk to ya’ later.”

He stuffed his phone back into his beard, sighing, “I better make damn sure that Doom Four is good...” God snapped his fingers and a couch popped into existence, along with a TV. He walked over to it and sat down.

“Let’s see how Equestria is doing...”

With a dumbfounded expression, Celestia watched as the enormous machine continuously squished her ball of a sister, Luna. What was this machine anyways? What did it want? And why was it squeezing her sister? She had to admit it though, it was kinda funny.

“Unhand me- SQUEAK! You ruffian! SQUEAK!”

Celestia shook her head to clear her thoughts, and stepped closer to the machine. She wondered if it could survive a direct hit from a solar beam. Well, it wasn’t like it was overpowered or anything, so it probably wouldn’t.

Just as she began to charge up her horn, a rustle came from the downed door that had been blown up by the machine. Everyone’s attention turned to it, and suddenly, a blast sent the door flying to the other side of the room, squashing a nearby pony who was cleaning the floor.

“Aha! Did you really thought you could defeat me so easily!?” came a voice from the source of the explosion. As the smoke cleared, Celestia distinguished the shape of a tall, male alicorn with a black coat and a red mane, including several blue stripes along his body.

He was so fucking hot.

“Who is that?” a nearby guard whispered.

Celestia’s eyes widened, not because of how hot this new stallion was, but because she had absolutely no idea of who he was. He seemed to be about to answer that question, so let’s move on...

“I am Prince CrimsonWing Darkblood Ravenclaw Echo Griffin of Equestria! Son of Luna and husband of Twilight Sparkle!”

“But I’m a virgin...” Luna muttered, still held in the hand of the machine, who turned to Prince Crimsonwing Darkblood Ravenclaw Echo Griffin of Equestria in a calm manner, its feet thundering against the floor.

“I have defeated countless armies and gods! You are but a mere-”

“COMMUNIST DETECTED ON NEW AMERICAN SOIL! LETHAL FORCE ENGAGED!” the machine yelled, before shooting a laser beam out of its eye and turning Prince Crimsonwing Darkblood Ravenclaw Echo Griffin of Equestria into a mess of limbs and gore. A lot of gore.

Silence reigned. The machine slowly turned back to Celestia, and its eye began to glow again.

“Wait!” she yelled. “Can’t we work this out?” she dropped onto the floor, pleading. “I will give you anything you want! I will suck your big, metallic pe-!”

“YOU AND YOUR SISTER WILL BOTH STEP DOWN FROM THE THRONE, AND MAKE WAY FOR A NEW, BRIGHT, DEMOCRATIC FUTURE!”

Gingerly, Celestia stood back up, all eyes locked onto her. “O-Okay... Can I do it anyways?” she asked, blushing.

“NEW AMERICAN CITIZENS!” the machine said, ignoring her. “I, LIBERTY PRIME, AM HONORED TO SAY THAT YOU. ARE. LIBERATED!”

Silence... and crickets.

One pony stood up, grinning. “All hail Liberty Prime, King of New America!” Soon, other ponies joined, yelling, “ALL HAIL LIBERTY PRIME, KING OF NEW AMERICA!”

As a massive crowd began to gather around the machine, Luna shot a burning glare at her sister.

Celestia shrugged. “Oops...”

***
Special Thanks To:
uT.TerAbsurdity, for being fucking awesome