Note: This chapter continues after the train ride home from Appleoosa in the previous chapter.

And yes, this is a TF2 parody chapter. If you don't know what that is, just look up 2Fort on images and that'll give you all the background you need to make complete sense of this all. Anything else is optional.

Kobold and the Elements got off of the train. It was late into the night. Most of them were tired, except for Kobold, who slept on the way back.

Applejack spoke "Well, night y'all. See y'all in the morning."

All the Elements walked back to their homes. Kobold walked back with Fluttershy, since they're practically neighbors.

"Hey, Flutters," Kobold said. "I'd like to apologize again for what happened back there. I realize that you've seen a lot of gore recently, and I know what that can do to a person."

"I-it's fine." stammered Fluttershy. She was experiencing a bit of PTSD from all the gore. Everypony was.

"No, no, it's not fine. I gotta make it up to you. To everyone." Kobold pulled out a metallic red flower top with 6 large petals. The bottom of the flower petals had small spout-like openings. Kobold placed the metal flower in her hair.

"It's an accessory that doubles with utility. Press the middle of the flower." She did.

A warm gust of wind blew across her from the spouts. It felt nice in the cold night air.

"See? Nice accessory along with a way to warm yourself up on cold nights or days. You can change the air temperature by turning it right. That'll make it cold. Turn it left for warm air again."

Fluttershy tried this, turning the middle of the flower to the right until she heard a click. She pressed the button again and ice cold air blew from the spouts. She shivered and turned it back to warm air.

"Thank you, Kobold. This is really nice. It also looks nice too."

The two had arrived at their houses. "Night, Fluttershy." "Good night, Kobold."

Kobold took one step into his house, froze, and realized that he had to do something. "Slender dammit, I gotta find out were the hell these things are coming from." Kobold pulled out a handheld scanner of some kind. It had a gauge and a small dial on the front, a switch on the side, and the label 'Reality Scanner' on the top. He flipped the switch, and the gauge spun wildly. Loud electrical noises emitted from the device. Kobold was caught off guard and jumped back. He turned the dial down until it only made a small amount of static noise and the gauge was on the left.

He walked over to were he crashed not 5 days ago. The trench had been cleared up, and the Glutton gore removed, the only sign that anything had happened here were the green cracks in the air, dimly glowing were the Glutton had appeared. As he approached the cracks, the scanner gauge began to rise, and the static began to become louder. When he was a foot away from it, the scanner went back to its state before tuning it, the gauge going crazy and the electrical noise louder than ever.

"What could this mean?"

"I could tell you." Discord had snuck up on Kobold. He jumped

"What in hell's name are you doin' here?"

"I saw that you were trying to determine where these creatures are coming from, and I might have some answers."

"How would-you know what, never mind. What do you have?"

"These creatures are coming from different realities. They are transporting themselves through 'cracks' in the fabric of reality."

"Wait a second, wait wowowo, how do you know this?"

"I am the Lord of Chaos. The disruption of reality is my parlor trick. I can sense it."

A new voice joined the duo. "And you never told us why?" Princess Luna had materialized behind Discord.

"Oh, whats the fun in that?"

Kobold kept a poker face, determined not to let Discord see what he thought of this. "Discord, could you come down here for a minute." Kobold beckoned. "Just a minute, that's all." Discord lowered its head until it was eye level with Kobold.

And then Kobold bitchslapped the hell out of Discord with a satisfying smack, sending it sprawling to the side.

"THAT is for not telling me. Or Luna. Or anyone, for that matter."

"You didn't need to hit me THAT hard."

"Yes, I did. Now that we know this, we know that ANYTHING from ANYWHERE can kill us at ANYTIME. The fabric of reality is splitting apart, for fuck's sake. This could mean the end of this world."

Luna chimed in. "But why here. Why not some other reality?"

Kobold spoke. "I miiiiiiiight have an answer to that." He showed her the scanner. "This is suppose to scan how badly reality is being distorted. When I first booted it up, it flared wildly, but then I tuned it down, and it was less...wild. Then I approached these cracks-" Kobold pointed to the cracks. "-and it went wild again. If this means what I think it means, the fabric of reality is weaker here than it is in any other place. As to why that is is anyone's guess. But I think we shouldn't tell anyone else. No need to spread panic. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

"Agreed."

"So, I propose that we leave to our homes, forget this encounter, and live our lives normally until we have a solution. All opposed?"

No answer

"Good, we have an agreement. Night, Luna." Kobold narrowed his eyes "Discord."

So the trio split ways and went back home.

Completely unaware that a certain tiny white bunny had heard the entire conversation.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Boxing Ring
/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Kobold found himself in the middle of a boxing ring with a spotlight shining on him. Hundreds of spectators were cheering from the bleachers. A microphone lowered from the ceiling. He grabbed it and began to announce.

"Welcome, ladies and gents, to tonight's Fight Night. We got a great match up for this fight. In this corner, weighing one hundred and fifty six pounds, The Remix Remasterer, the Undead Stoner, The Liiiiviiiiing Toooooooooombstooooooooooooone."

The spotlight flashed to a corner. It that corner was a muscular man of medium height, wearing a dark blue T-shirt, a gray sweatshirt, and jeans. His hair was sticking directly up in the air, and his eyes were pure white and blank.

"And in this corner," Kobold continued, "weighing a mere one hundred and two pounds, the Mistress of the Night, the butt of far too many moon jokes, Princeeeeeeess Luuuuunaaaaaaaa.

The spotlight gleamed toward the corner opposite of The Living Tombstone. A woman of medium height wearing a dress with a pattern one might atribute to the night sky was standing there. She had blue eyes, shimmering blue hair, and regal features.

Not to mention the nicely sized melons.

The two fighters walked to the middle of the ring "Alright, you know how this goes, first one to tap out loses. Ready?"

They both nodded. Kobold jumped out of the ring and watched the two fighters began to duke it out when the bell rung. In the end, Luna won after she piledrived Tombstone's face into the ground.

Pinkie jumped in front of Kobold's face. "And that's how Equestria was made!"

/\/\/\/\
Reality
/\/\/\/\

Kobold woke with a start. "Phew, it was all just a dream." He was about to get out of bed, but then he noticed something.

It was cold.

Colder than it should be.

Normally, he enjoyed the cold, but this was unexpected. He looked toward the window to see a truly beautiful sight.

Snow.

Snow everywere.

Kobold ran outside and took in the veiw. A white blanket of fluffy coldness covered everything in sight. Gray was the color of the overcast.

It was heavenly.

Kobold pulled out the black tablet and said "Winter Wonderland". Some uplifting music began to play as he danced around in the snow.

Sleigh bells ring
Are you listening
In the lane
Snow is glistening
A beautiful sight,
We're happy tonight
Walking in a winter wonderland

Gone away, is the bluebird
Here to stay, is a new bird
He sings a love song,
While we go along
Walking in a winter wonderland

In the meadow we can build a snowman
And pretend that he is Parson Brown
He'll say Are you married
We'll say No Man
But you can do the job
When you're in town

Later on
We'll conspire
As we dream by the fire
To face unafraid
The plans that we've made
Walking in a winter wonderland

In the meadow we can build a snowman
And pretend that he's a circus clown
We'll have lots of fun with Mr. Snowman
Until the other kids knock him down

When it snows
Ain't it thrilling
Though your nose is a chilling
We'll frolic and play the Eskimo way
Walking in a winter wonderland

A beautiful sight were happy tonight
Walking in a winter wonderland
Walking in a winter wonderland
Walking in a winter wonderland
Walking in a winter wonderland.

Kobold fell onto the snow and began to unconsciously make a snow angel. It would have been great.

If it wasn't for the snowball that hit him square in the face.

Kobold got up, looking quite pissed, and looked around for the culprit. Then he heard the familiar laugh from up above.

Kobold sighed "Rainbow Dash." He scanned the sky for her. Kobold found the cyan bitch on the cloud about 3 yards away, laughing her ass off. I teach ya not ta fuck with me. He picked up some snow with his bare hands, molded it into a ball, and aimed it at Rainbow Dash. Aim up for gravity, account for wind speed... FIRE.

It hit her directly in the face.

"OW, what the hay was that for?"

"That was for throwing one at me, dammit!"

"You wanna fight, pretty boy?"

"I'll gladly take you on. Right here, right now. Snowball fight. I'll give you thirty minutes to create a fort."

"It's on."

Over the next half hour, the two constructing their forts. Rainbow Dash settled for a large, misshaped, long pile of snow, while Kobold...

He had constructed an enormous building out of snow. It had two main entrances leading inside with ramps going into them. On the second floor was a balcony and an overhang bunker type thing in the middle of it.

Rainbow Dash was staring at the construct, jaw dropped. "H-how..."

"Quick hands, engineering mind, and a whole lot of compacting."

"W-what is it."

"I call it 2Fort." Kobold said the name with pride.

"Now, TO BATTLE."

Kobold ran into 2Fort. Inside, both entrances conjoined into one hallway, and then split again in a T intersection. Kobold turned right into a large room, continued forward, and turned left into a courtyard with two sets of stairs leading up to a scaffolding. He walked up the stairs and turned left into a room larger than the one downstairs. Walking forward, Kobold came to a small hallway that was angled at a perfect 90 degrees. He turned right, and came to the balcony, were he had stashed a large pile of snowballs, tiny compared to various other piles around his base, and an assortment of weapons modified to harmlessly fire snowballs.

Weeeeell, maybe not entirely harmless.

He picked up a weapon resembling a six-round, break-action grenade launcher with adjustable weapon sights, wooden stock and foregrip. He loaded some of the larger snowballs into it. He jumped out from behind cover to find Rainbow Dash flying above her 'fort' with two snowballs in her hooves and ready to fire.

But then she that saw that Kobold didn't prepare for a battle.

He readied for a war.

Rainbow Dash threw her two snowballs, but Kobold dodged both of them. He fired off one snowball, but failed to account for the arch, and it came plummeting down. When it hit the ground, it exploded into a large mess of snow bigger than the ball would suggest. Hehehe, exploding snowball grenades. Damn, I'm good.

"LEEET'S DO IIIIIIIT." Kobold yelled in a fake Scottish accent. He fired wildly into the air, hoping that one of the snow grenades would hit Rainbow Dash, but she had already ducked behind her 'fort'. The snowballs had blown up small parts of her wall. Kobold ducked behind cover to reload.

When he got out, Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be seen. Kobold looked around the battlefield, but there was no sign of-wait, are those hoof prints? The trail of hoof prints led into 2Fort. Kobold turned toward the small corridor and heard the ever so faint foot steps of Rainbow Dash attempting to sneak up on him.

He pointed the grenade launcher at the corridor and waited. When Rainbow Dash came around the corner, he fired off a shot.

It hit her directly in her face.

"Game, set, and match."

"I-I lost..." Rainbow Dash was clearly depressed about losing.

"Rainbow Dash, I've killed an enormous man-spider and a homicidal shy mutilator. Did you really think that you stood a chance?"

She nodded.

"Holy damn, you're prideful. But you know what they say, 'Pride comes before destruction.'"

"I-I want a rematch!"

"Suit yourself. But this time, I'll give you a break. I'm giving you an extra half hour to improve your base and maaaaaybe get a friend into the arena. Your half hour begins...NOW."

Rainbow Dash hurried back to her shameful wall of a fort. During the half hour, she repaired her walls, added a roof, and made an entrance. It resembled a very long igloo with the back cut off and a few windows up front. With about five minutes left, Applejack came across the battle zone.

"What in tarnation is goin' on here?"

Kobold responded "Snowball battle. Rainbow Dash lost the first round, now I'm giving her another chance to improve and change her strategy. Your welcome to join her side, though. Always love a good challenge."

"Alright."

"Okay, seeing as this is now one versus two, I think its reasonable to set up a rule or two. One direct hit from a snowball and your out. All opposed?"

No answer.

"Well, your half hour is up, Dash," Kobold picked up a typical rocket-propelling device with a protruding metal side and a wide exhaust port. He stuffed four rocket-shaped snowballs into the front port.

Kobold yelled. "Last one alive, lock the door!" in a gruff, pure American accent. He fired a snowball towards Rainbow Dash's, and now Applejack's, improved base. This projectile did not arch, but instead traveled straight forward. It hit the wall of the fort, but did no visible damage. By Slender, I really AM a genius.

Kobold's opponents began to lob snowballs at him.

Not a single one of them hit.

"Let me show you how it's done." Kobold fired the remaining three snowballs in quick succession. However, he waited a second to fire the third. It was a brilliant decision. When the two thought that the barrage was over, they stuck their heads out of their forts.

Rainbow Dash got a face full of snowball rocket.

Applejack was the last one left. When Kobold ducked behind cover to reload, she snuck into 2Fort. It was the same method that Rainbow Dash had used.

So, of course, it was doomed to fail.

Kobold even expected it. He readied himself in front of the corridor.

He fired his rocket so the precise moment Applejack turned the corner, she was hit in the face.

Seems to be a lot of face hitting with these snowballs.

Applejack got up. "Alright, you win. Game over."

Rainbow Dash yelled from their base "I WANT ANOTHER REMATCH."

"Okay, I'll give you one hour this time. Get all the troops you can to revise your strategy."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Half An Hour Later
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Oh. Shit. Well, I'm fucked.

Kobold looked at the line up. Every one of the Elements had gathered to Rainbow Dash's aid. She had just got done telling them the rules and their strategy. He couldn't hear what they were saying, but they looked determined to beat him.

Rainbow Dash lead them inside, were they began to refine their base. By the end of the deadline, the base was done. The hallways formed a hollow square, with four extra hallways leading into a central dome, quickly built by the many hands, or actually hooves, on the job. It resembled nothing of the original sloppy wall of snow she had used before.

Shit shit shit, this isn't good. Kobold flipped through his modified weapons to see what would be best in this situation. He spotted a long metal pole connected by a hose to a propane tank. The tank was attached to the pole via fastening bands. The trigger was made out of a red gas pump handle. It basically looked like a flamethrower, but it had no pilot light and was attached to a large tank filled with snow. Kobold put the tank on his back, picked up the weapon, and pulled the trigger.

A stream of fluffy snow came out of the front.

A snow blower! Literally.

Kobold shifted through the weapon pile and found dual flare guns, already loaded. With snowballs, of course. These might come in handy. He shoved the flare guns into his pockets.

Kobold picked up a gas mask from inside the weapon pile. Wait a second, what the hell is a GAS MASK doing in a weapon pile? Must've came out when I grabbed the weapons. He decided to put the gas mask on. He jumped down from the balcony and checked the time. "Yrrr Hrrr's Mp, Dssh." Holy damn, I can't speak in this mask. Kobold walked up the the entrance of her base. He tried to yell "You can go to hell," but instead what came out was...

"Hudda Hudda huh."

Kobold charged into the base. He was presented with a three way intersection. He chose to go left. He walked forward until he come to a right turn. He turned right.

And came face to face with Rarity.

Kobold jumped a bit and pulled the trigger, covering the white unicorn with... well, more white. The only thing that wasn't covered were her eyes. Kobold chuckled a little bit. He turned back. He could hear voices coming from the snowicorn, but he couldn't fully make it out. Prooooooobably something profane.

Kobold continued forward until he hit another turn, left this time. He turned and there was nothing. Continuing forward, halfway through the hallway, he came to another intersection. Going left would go into the central area. Going forward would make him loop around back to were Rarity was. Kobold decided to move forward, and continued until he got back to were Rarity was.

But she wasn't alone. Fluttershy was attempting to get the snow off of Rarity. "Just give me a minute, I'll get it off." Kobold snuck up on the two and blasted them both with the snow.

And now they were in a very, VERY awkward position.

Fluttershy muffled something under the snow Kobold couldn't make out. But he could make a rough guess

'Tell nopony of this'

Kobold backtracked to the central dome area. Inside of the dome were various mounds of snow and snowballs. Directly in the middle was a sunroof. He scanned the area, finding nothing. Right when he was about to leave, he spotted something

A tip of rainbow colored hair, hidden behind one of the central mounds.

There you are.

Jumping over the mound, Kobold blasted away at the hologram of Rainbow Dash. Dammit, I've been tricked. The remaining non-snowlogged ponies popped up from cover. Twilight had created the illusionary hologram to draw him in. All four of them blocked the exits.

All armed to the teeth with snowballs.

And they began to throw them.

From every corner.

It was like time began to slow down. Kobold spotted a mound of snow, positioned right were none of them could hit him. Unfortunately, he was too far away to get the- Kobold's body decomposed into a dark blue mist, similar in color to his hoodie. Before he could process this, he was behind the snow mound, still in one piece. The dark mist that he was earlier dispersed. Kobold looked at were he used to be.

There were 3 semi-transparent lines of dark blue, a thick one on top, a thin one right below the thick one, and a medium sized one basicly where his ass was. These lines led from were he used to be to were he was.

They faded within in a second. All the ponies were looking around, confused at what just happened. Kobold took his chance, pulled out his dual flare guns, and shot down Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Pinkie Pie and Twilight snapped out of their shock and began to lob snowballs in his direction. Kobold pulled up his weapon and ducked beind his mound. When he got back up and ready to fight, they were already ready for another barage. Kobold didn't react fast enough, and by the time he registered this, it was too late.

He accidently pressed a button on the snowblower, and a wall of snow launched out of it, causing the snowballs to reflect back towards their throwers, hitting them both.

Good ol' deus ex machina.

"Congratulations, Kobold. You have defeated an alicorn at a snowball war. Now, tell me how you did that teleport or let's say I know a certain somepony who can get the answer out of you."

"Well, I dont exactAAAAAHHHHH." Kobold felt another massive headache. When it began to subside, the meaning of 'blink' became clear

Blink: The rapid acceleration and deceleration of an object. In this case, dark blue smoke and a trail is left behind as a trace of blinking. Much like short range teleportation without the ability to move through solid object.

The headache subsided. Kobold recited the newly gained information.

"And exactly HOW did you get this ability?"

Weeeeeell," Kobold scratched his neck nervously. He put on his most innocent smile and voice. "Remember when I got that paper yesterday? Well, the back of it maaaaaaaay have said 'blink' on it. And before you ask, I kept it from all of you because I thought you might have tried to strap me down and test me."

"The only time I've done that is when I was trying to determine how Pinkie works. Needless to say, I didn't get very far."

"I can guess."

"In the future, TELL US ABOUT THESE ABILITIES."

"Okay, okay, fine, I'll tell you about them in the future."

Author's Note

Horrible chapter endings FTW.

But seriously, this last part was hurried so I could get to writing a different, one chapter fanfic deal. So, if your interested, you might wanna check my profile in a week or two. This, of course, will mean that this will be put on hold for a small amount of time. I'm sorry, but I feel that this is a good idea. Until next time...

The short fanfic mentioned above is "The Music Of Chaos". It can be found on my Fanfiction.ne account, but I might move it here sometime soon

Fun fact: the dream sequence was inspired by a small comment chain in The Living Tombstone's Luna remix. It basicly says something about Tombstone and Luna duking it out.