Note: The events in this chapter occur 2 weeks after chapter 6

This chapter is going to be a lot darker and have a lot less humor. Just a warning.

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Frozen Wasteland outside Crystal Empire
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A lone yellow pegasus with an orange mane was lost in the frozen wasteland. Rumors had been spreading that King Sombra had returned yet again, that's why they put up the forcefield around the kingdom. The pegasus was one of the few that were brave enough to venture out into this icy hell.

But that wasn't why she was nervous

She was nervous because nopony had ever come back after leaving.

The pegasus came across a deep ravine. Peeking inside, she saw something moving.

"Hello, who's there?"

A demonic voice came from within the ravine. "Oh, you know."

Rocketing out of the ravine, a sharp tentacle pierced the pegasus's chest, going straight through her and breaking out her back. From the point of impact, a black, viscous liquid spread, covering the pegasus. Her wings turned into a mass of tentacles, her eyes beginning to leak blood.

After a minute of exposure, the pegasus crumbled to dust.

"A real fucking monster."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Canterlot Throne Room

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Celestia was sitting on her throne, staring intently at the door as if awaiting something to charge through. In the center of the room stood a gray metal disk with a glowing red circle inside of it. The red circle was projecting a hologramatic sun into the air.

Knocking was heard at the doors. They were kicked down. From the ruins of the door came Kobold, Luna, and an unknown unicorn colt. He had a dark blue coat with a black, messy mane and short, messy tail. His Cutie Mark was an iceberg.

Yes. Yes, he is.

A middle aged woman's voice rang through the air from an unidentifiable source.

"Mission begins in ten seconds.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

Begin!"

Kobold walked directly in front of Celestia, who was now standing on the opposite side of the metal disk. He shoved his face into her's so that their eyes were an inch away from each other.

And he began to taunt her.

"You are weak! You are bleeders!
You are faggot! You are traitors!

You run fast; I run faster!
You are funny; I am funnier!

This kill is mine, this death is yours!
This point is mine, this point; not yours!

You are failure, hit the shower!
Can not burn me! FIRE! FIRE!

This is MY world! Do you get that?
You are nothin' but a maggot!

I will kill you! I will eat you!
You are weak! You are bleeders!

You are, you are, you are, you are
You run, I run, you are, I am
This kill, this death, this point, this point
You are, hit the, can not, FIRE!"

At this point, Kobold had grabbed Celestia head and began to smash it, alternating between using the wall, his knee, and against the ground with his foot.

"You are weak! You are bleeders!
You are faggot! You are traitors!

You run fast, I run faster!
You are funny, I am funnier!

This kill is mine, this death is yours!
This point is mine, this point; not yours!

You are failure, hit the shower!
Can not burn me! FIRE! FIRE!

This is MY world! Do you get that?
You are nothin' but a maggot!

I will kill you! I will eat you!
You are weak! You are bleeders!
You are faggot! You are traitors!

You run fast, I run faster!
You are funny, I am funnier!

Can not burn me! FIRE! FIRE!"

Kobold threw Celestia into the middle of the disk, and began to pace around it.

"

Sir, yes, sir! I am a soldier! YES!

Sir, yes, sir! I am a soldier! YES!

Sir, yes sir! I am a soldier! YES!

Sir, yes, sir! I am a soldier."

Celestia burped.

"Celestia? Uuagh, no! Damn it! Damn it! You are maggot!"

"Hey, Private Hair-Cut!"

"One-eye cross dresser!"

"Go to hell, DRUNK DEVIL!"

"Englishman with a dress!"

"Oi! ...What just happened?"

Celestia struggled to stand up, looked toward Kobold, grabbed him with her magic, and flung him around the room, into the walls, ceiling, and floor.

"DOMINATE! I'll be gentle!
DOMINATE! Shaggin' your wife!
DOMINATE! Big ugly girl!
D-DOMINATE! You're all bloody dead!
DOMINATE! Eat lead, lads!
DOMINATE! Bloody blockhead!
DOMINATE! DOMINATE! DOMINATE!
Hah heh heh heh...

DOMINATE! All ya dandies!
DOMINATE! Thanks for the ride!
DOMINATE! Our bloody point!
DOMINATE! That will teach 'em!
DOMINATE! Gon'ta strangle!
DOMINATE!"

Celestia snoozed off, and dropped Kobold. Conscience was quickly fading her as she laid down on the disk.

"What?... BLOODY HELL!"

Kobold jumped on to the now motionless body of Celestia, and proceeded to dance an Irish jig.

"You are weak! You are bleeders!
You are faggot! You are traitors!

You run fast, I run faster!
You are funny, I am funnier!

This kill is mine, this death is yours!
This point is mine, this point; not yours!

You are failure, hit the shower!
Can not burn me! FIRE! FIRE!

This is MY world! Do you get that?
You are nothin' but a maggot!

I will kill you! I will eat you!
You are weak! You are bleeders!
You are faggot! You are traitors!

You run fast, I run faster!
You are funny, I am funnier!

Can not burn me! FIRE! FIRE!"

Kobold back flipped off of Celestia. The circle in the middle of the disk had turned into a midnight blue, and projected a crescent moon. The middle aged womans voice rung out again.

"Victory!"

A man with a blue suit and matching balaclava appeared next to Kobold. He raised his hand and spoke in a French accent.

"Slap my hand."

"Oh, yes." Kobold replied. They high five.

"Well, the moment has passed. Back to work." The suited man said.

/\/\/\/\
Reality
/\/\/\/\

Waking up, Kobold rubbed his face. He looked down at the moon amulet Luna had given him. He hadn't taken it off since he got it, and he didn't plan to any time soon.

"This thing's been given me weird dreams. Although, that last one wasn't that bad. Love smashing the little cunt's face around."

Kobold rubbed his neck, still raw from the animatronic. "Damn thing. Should have remembered to input humans along with ponies. Could've gotten myself killed. Very bad for my health." He checked the clock. "Six A.M. Bout time to get up."

The next three hours consisted of morning scotch and reading. Along with many strips of beef jerky.

"Fruits and veggies don't seem to agree with me. Meat, however, goes down smooth, like my whiskey. Ive been living off this shit for, what, a month and a half, now? Hmm, I seem to be a pure carnivore. Weird they haven't asked me about my eatin' habits. Then again, perception filter. Damn, I love this thing."

Kobold finished of the jerky, and just in time, too. Someone was knocking on the door. "S'open."

The door opened and the same gray pegasus who delivered the letter saying he had to go to Appleoosa stepped in. He had heard her name around town, but he couldn't think of it. Right on the tip of his tounge, too. Ditsy Doo? Derpy Hooves? Something like that.

"Need something?"

"Urgent message. I was suppose to deliver it earlier, but I...sort of got lost."

"Hmm, you'd expect the person who delivers the mail to know this town like the back of her hand." Kobold muttered

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing. Give me the letter."

Derpy, or was it Ditsy, gave him the letter with a dubious expression. It was covered in stamped 'urgent's, 'emergency's', and 'deliver to Kobold's. Kobold flipped her a bit and she left. The letter was hastily written and read;

Kobold. Urgent emergency. Ponies disappearing. Giant black mass. Elements already here. Celestia refuse help. Really hates you. Report to Crystal Empire. Ticket held within. Luna.

"Oh, shit, this doesn't sound good. But the bitch not wanting my help, not surprising." He packed his scotch glass and headed to the train station.

Luckily, he got there on time. The train was one minute from leaving. Kobold boarded and found an empty room. This was not an overnight trip, so it was just standard seating instead of bunks. He found himself a nice window seat.

The door opened and someone came in. Aw, come on, I've had too much of women lately. Its been weeks since I've had conversation with a man. I may be antisocial, but I'm still human. And a man. I need some conversation with people of my own gender.

Evidently, God or Satan or Brahma or Buddha whoever the hell controls the universe gave him a break.

It was finally a man! A pony, sure, but something of the male species.

Strangely enough, he looked exactly like the pony from his dream. He took a seat across from his.

"'Sup." Kobold simply said.

"Nothing." The unicorn replied. "You?" He spoke with a slight Irish/Scottish accent

"Same. Name's Hosamen. Kobold Hosamen."

"I've heard about you. Your that 'human', right?"

"Yea."

"Anyway, my name's Cold Fusion."

"Strange name, an adjective." And something to do with nuclear shit.

"True, but there are others. Pinkie, for example."

"True, true."

"So, what brings you to the Crystal Empire?"

"Urgent message. Wasn't really given much information, just get there immediately. How 'bout you?"

"I work an ice shop in Ponyville. I need some of these 'ice magic crystals' to fuel some of my magic to make some of the more...elaborate ice. Normally, it's shipped directly to my store, but something's been going on, and they haven't been able to deliver."

"There's seriously an ice shop in town?"

"Yeah, simply 'Cold's Ice'."

"Heh, anyway, you were saying something about a delivery?"

"Oh, yeah. Evidently, the area around the Crystal Empire has been covered in snow, making it the frozen wasteland it was before Sombra was banished."

"Okay, give me the lecture."

"Essentially? King Sombra was an evil dictator, forcing ponies under his rule to be slaves. Eventually, he was overthrown, but recently came back, but was banished to Tartarus."

"What?"

"It's a place were demons, devils, and other evil things reside."

Celestia would fit in there just fine. "Okay, so he was banished again. Then what."

"Nopony knows. The wasteland just re-appeared a week ago, and ponies have been disappearing ever since. Many think that Sombra is returning again."

That would explain the urgent message. "So, your essentially risking your life just to get some smeging ice crystals."

"Yes. The things I can make with those sell for high prices. The stores been having a bit of a rough season. I need something to get it back on it's feet."

"Well, I hope your shop gets back up."

"Thanks."

The train ride went on for about an hour. Kobold just stared out the window as it transitioned to the frozen wastelands. As the endless landscape of snow passed by, he began to wonder what was awaiting him. An evil tyrant king, or something equally horrifying. What ever it was, it was enough to scare and probably kill ponies on sight and leave no remains.

This is sounding a lot like SCP-096.

Kobold spotted a small, black dot. It was off in the distance, but it was clearly visible. Cold saw it too, as evidenced by the needle head sized pupils. The dot gave off a malevolent, dark aura as it slowly increased in size.

"Cold, are there any other passengers on board?"

"No, just you, me, and the conductor. Nopony wants to go to the Empire. Now I'm seeing why." Cold Fusion said, his eyes fixated on the rapidly approaching dot.

"Good, then I have no problem doing this." Kobold wrapped Cold and himself in a protective cocoon of his own tentacles. And just in time. The second they were wrapped, the dot, which was now a mass of floating tentacles, slammed into the train, sending it off the rails, and hurling the duo outside into a snowbank.

"Aaaah, oooooh, ow." Kobold mumbled and he rubbed his back, the only place not fully protected by the tentacles. "That's gonna hurt in the morning." Looking back at the train, he saw a most horrific site.

The mass of tentacles had a face. A cruel, sadistic grin and pure black eyes with red iris's. Blood also leaked from them. This abomination of nature was tearing apart the train, looking for its next meal. It came across the conductor, and shoved one of its tentacles through his chest. A dark, viscous fluid spread from the impact area, and consumed the entirety of its body. When it was done, he simple crumbled to dust.

All while he was screaming.

And the monster was laughing.

"That little bastard, let me at him." Cold tried to jump out of their hiding spot, but Kobold quickly grabbed him. "Hold it, Cold, that thing'll kill you with ease."

"Well, do you have a better plan?"

Kobold lifted half his body out of the snowbank and looked toward the train rails. He saw that the train was about fifty yards away from what would seem to be a pink force field. He had never tried to do it with another person before, but just maybe...

"Hmm, I smell fresh blood, something that's not from here." The monster spoke, looking in Kobold's general direction. "Ah, a human. It has been so long since I've tasted something so," the creature did what could only be described as licking it's non-existent lips. "decadent."

"What the flying fuck are you?"

"Oh, you don't remember me? I would have thought you would have, Kobold."

Kobold stood there, flabbergasted that this...THING knew his name. "Wh-wh-wh-wh-what?" Cringing as a headache, Kobold's head was filled with the knowledge of this creature. It was all summarized into a single word.

Zalgo

"Hehehe, really did a number on you, did it? AHAHAHAH, this is too funny, I might just keep you alive for shits and giggles. But, I need food, and your friend over there is looking quite appetizing."

"Okay, were getting the hell out of here." Kobold grabbed Cold with one of his own tentacles. Straining himself to his very limits, he was able to blink just barely inside the force field, tumbling himself and Cold onto the clear ground. Kobold had strained himself so much, his body was shutting down to compensate. He had maybe one, two minutes before unconsciousness overtook him. Turning to his left, he saw Cold Fusion staring at him with awe, fear, and curiousity. "Wh-what the buck just happened, what are you, how did you-" He was cut off by Kobold. "Frankly," he said weakly, "I have no idea."

Unconsciousness took over, and then there was nothing but darkness.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
2 Hours Later
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Kobold awoke with blurry vision being stared down by Twilight, Luna, and another unknown pink alicorn with a purple, pink, and white striped mane. She also seemed to be wearing a crown of some from. Kobold never noticed it before, but Luna also wore a crown.

"Look, I think he's waking up!" Said the pink alicorn

His vision clear up slightly, as he could see that he was in a building with a high...crystalline ceiling.

"Am I dead?"

"No, not yet, anyway." Said Luna. "You're inside the Crystal Palace. I assume you received the urgent message?"

"Yes, yes I did. And I saw what was out there. Were's Cold Fusion."

"The blue pony?" Asked Twilight. "He's in the other room. You know, he carried you all the way here, then passed out. He should be up by now."

"This room?"

"Yes."

Kobold opened the door to the room. Cold was sitting on the edge of a bed, looking like he had just woken up, which is probably what happened. "Hey, man, you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

Kobold took a seat next to Cold. "Hey, thanks for saving me out there."

"You thanking me? I should be thanking YOU. YOU saved me from that...THING. What was it, anyway?"

"It was-" Kobold was interrupted by the materialization and opening of a wooden door, which spewed forth The Narrator.

"No! Bad Kobold! You aren't suppose to tell anyone about what it is yet. Leave it for the dramatic reveal." The Narrator closed the door, and it de-materialized.

Question: Do you enjoy the fourth wall breaking antics of The Narrator? And if so, would you like to see more in future chapters?

"-rom that...THING. What was it, anyway?"

"I don't know, Cold." Kobold lied. "Anyway, feel like you can get on your feet?"

"Nah, I need some more time. Your not exactly the lightest thing to carry, you know?"

They both chuckled at the joke. Kobold left Cold to sleep some more. When he exited, he came face to face with the pink alicorn.

"Oi."

"Hello. You must be Kobold."

"Yes. And you?"

"I am Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. However, everypony calls me Princess Cadence."

"Hi, Cadence. So, what's the status on the situation?"

"Simply, we can't keep it back. Follow me." Cadence led Kobold into a room with an enormous round table, the Elements, Luna, and Celestia already seated.

If I have died, and this is really all just a facade, then I'm really in hell if that cheeky bitch is here.

The two enemies locked eyes. Celestia bent down towards Luna, who was sitting next to her, and whispered something. She whispered back. Kobold couldn't make out what they were saying, it was too quiet. But he could only assume the worst.

"So, let me guess, this is a war council room?"

"You guess correctly. I always hoped I never had to use this room again." responded Cadence. Kobold took the seat opposite of Celestia. He wanted to be as far away from the sunny blighter as possible.

"So, Kobold," Cadence began. "we are fresh out of ideas. We need to find a way to get that creature out of here. No matter what we do, it almost seems to anticipate it and plan around. Do you have any ideas. We can't hold out for much longer. Shining Armor can only hold the shield up for so long."

"I assume Shining is the main guard around here."

"And my husband, yes."

"So, you really want my advice on this matter, Cadence? Make peace with your gods."

All of the occupants of the table stared at Kobold in disbelief. "What did you say?" They all said simultaneously.

"The creature that occupies the frozen wasteland outside these walls. Its name is Zalgo. Its presence was meant to symbolize the end times. Nothing in this world, nor any world, can stop it. You think what it does here is bad? Imagine that same level of horror occurring all throughout Equestria. Then multiply that level of horror by six. That is what awaits this world."

"A-are you absolutely certain?" Questioned Luna.

"Yes, yes I am. The only realistic option is to sit here and wait for death."

Every single on of them looked down at the table, clearly depressed. "I'm sorry I had to break it to you like this. But, in the mean time, there's no use mopping around here. Put your affairs in order, and make piece with your gods. Goodbye." And with that, Kobold left the room.

"Wait, Kobold!" Fluttershy barreled uncharacteristically out of the room towards him. "Is there really nothing you can do?"

"I'm afraid not. Now, I highly suggest you take my advice. What time is it, twelve?"

"Twelve thirty."

"Okay, then." And with that, Kobold left and walked through the hallowed halls.

"Com on, think, you magnificent, bad ass fucker. You can think of something, come on, think think think. How do you get out of this situation?"

But he couldn't think of a way. "Well, we're fucked. Although...no, no, its too dangerous, I could get killed...but then again, I'm going to die soon anyway." Deep inhale, exhale. "Well, here I go." He left he Palace and into the small...holy shit. Kobold was expecting an enormous empire when he walked outside, but what he got was the size of a small village. And the pink force field surround the town was rapidly shrinking.

"Damn, this problem was worse then I thought." He began to walk down the street leading out into the frozen wasteland.

"Where do you think you're going?" Luna had seen him leave the Palace. She teleported in front of Kobold, blocking his way.

"Luna, get out of my way."

"Not until you tell me what you're doing."

"I'm going to hold this thing off. Get everyone out of here as soon as you can." He blinked behind her and continued walking

"That suicide! I can't let you go." She teleported in front of him again.

"Luna. Get. Out. Of. My. Way."

"No! I cannot let you go."

"I really didn't want to do this." Kobold drew out a tentacle from his back, and swiped Luna to the side like she was a piece of paper, knocking her unconscious.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He took out a piece of paper and a pen, writing a simple note. When he was done, he put it on Luna.

Run. -Kobold.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
One mile outside Crystal Empire
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Damn this insufferable cold." Complained Kobold. He may like the cold, but this wasn't normal cold. It had a demonic feel to it, almost as if this place was what hell would be if frozen over. "Damn thing must be nearby."

"Right you are, Kobold." Zalgo was floating about ten yards to his right. Kobold turned to face it.

"Alright, you overgrown black ivy. You have two options. One, crawl back into the hellhole you came from, or two, die a horrible death. Which will it be?"

"I'll choose option three, kill you and feast upon this world."

"So be it." Kobold pulled out his pistols and shot Zalgo.

It did nothing. Zalgo lashed out a tentacle at Kobold, and he narrowly dodged it. Bringing out his sword, he slashed at Zalgo's tentacle, chopping it off.

Zalgo did not react. It swung the stub of a tentacle towards Kobold, knocking him down. Before he could get up, Zalgo shoved one of his un-damaged tentacles into Kobold's chest. After it lodged, he was able to stand, but only on his knee's

"Heheheh, I never expected you to be this weak. But, a feast is a feast, no matter how easy."

Kobold gripped the tentacle in a feeble attempt to pull it out. When it failed, he released it, appearing defeated. Zalgo just laughed at his petty attempts. Kobold closed his eyes, and did something Zalgo did not expect.

He smiled.

It was the kind of smile a small child might have after they had come up with a brilliant idea.

He opened his eyes and dark blue smoke poured upward out of them. The moon amulet began to pulsate.

"You think I die that easily?" Kobold voice became layered and demonic. "You are sorely mistaken." He drew a tentacle from his back and sliced off Zalgo's tentacle and pulled it out, leaving a hole in Kobold's chest. Zalgo reeled back in pain, while Kobold stood, un-afflicted by his injury.

"But-but how? How is this possible?"

Kobold simply retorted in three simple words, all while the mischievous smile was still on his face.

"U wot, m8?"

All of Kobold tentacles, totaling fifteen, emerged from his back and charged Zalgo. Bit by bit, they ripped Zalgo apart. Pieces of him flew in ever direction.

This continued until all that was left of Zalgo was a pair of eyes and a mouth, loosely bound together by wispy darkness.

"Heheheh." It laughed. "So, this is how it ends? Killed by a child? Well, at least I die on a full stomach." Kobold impaled Zalgo's remains and the tentacles absorbed Zalgo's very essence, leaving nothing behind but its impression on the snow.

"Well, that was quick."

His tentacles returned to his back, and the effects of the amulet, which Kobold assumed was the cause of him going Super Saiyan, began to wear off.

Dropping to his knees, Kobold clutched the hole in his chest, burning with pain. Some of the blood had leaked out onto the snow.

"Hmm, been some time since I've seen this much of my own blood." He began to cough up some blood. "That just adds to the amount. Well, it looks like my time here is over. Been a good run, too. Got some friends, had some fun, enjoyed myself. Not too bad. Heh, now it comes down to this, dying in a pool of my own blood soaked snow after defeating an abomination from hell. Sounds heroic, if not a bit cliche." He could feel the life slowly draining away.

"Well, time to meet the maker."

Author's Note

AAAAAAAAND cliffhanger. I pulled an all-nighter and got 2/3s of this story done.

I had plans to continue this, but I believe that a cliffhanger leading up until the next part, which will probably be a lot shorter than my normal chapters, would be...better, I think is the word.

Fun Fact: While something is being developed, it tends to go through multiple changes.

"No Shit, Sherlock."

Shut up, Kobold, your dead.

Anyway, originally, Kobold was to fall in the middle of the Everfree Forest and build a shelter there. It wouldn't be until later that he found out were he was. I scraped this because I couldn't find a good way to send it into scenarios like Chapter 3, plus, amnesia wouldn't work realistically.

Speaking of Chapter 3, another scraped idea was to have "Your Gunna Go Far, Kid." by The Offspring playing during the fight scene. Scraped because I didn't think it would go well, and a lot of the fighting would go against SCP-096's attack patterns. Still feel good about that LotR reference, though.

My third scraped idea was a scene with Derpy immediately after Kobold left "Bits n' Bobs", involving her crashing into Kobold on her way inside to see The Doctor. This was scraped because, well, I try to keep the chapters around 4,000 words long, or around that amount. Chapter 6 had 6,000 plus words. I don't think I need much more explaining.

My fourth and final idea was to decorate Kobold walls with various quotes and a novelty "Certificate of Badassery" from Harvard. Cut because...actually, I don't know why I cut that, hmm.

Anyway, review to let me know what you think, favorite if you like it, and follow if you want moar.

See you next time :3