“Hello mares and gentlecolts of Ponyville! I am Flim! And boy have do we have a special treat for you today!” One half of the annoying Hasbro monstrosity spoke into the microphone as he stood upon the fold out stage attached to his carriage.

Holding above them for all the crowd to see, was a curious little device with metallic teeth on the end, to which when turned on, vibrated and quite obnoxiously much to the confused glances of all below.

Next, Flam appeared next to his brother, twirling his mustache. “That’s right brother; hello mares and gentlecolts, my name is Flam and this my dear potential customers to whom we would never scam, is what you call an automatic, electronic, vibrational hair removal device! That’s right! Do you have unwanted facial hair growing out the side of her-I mean YOUR face?”

“Yeah!” A few yelled from the crowd which was quite a majority of colts with bizarrely the odd mare thrown in amongst the outcry

“Does your mare’s bush need a trimming? Then no worries!” Flim announced, throwing his hooves out into the air flamboyantly while the device still vibrated midflight. “It will make short work of any bush-big, small, thorny-you name is and it will trim it back straight to the roots with little to no fuss at all!”

“What’s that, Flim?” Flam leaned in close to his brother. “Did you just say it could trim bushes? Well, not only can it do your gardening chores but it can also give your special somponies a little bit of nighttime fun, if you know what I mean, ladies...” He winked to a mare in the crowd, who clearly was not amused by the insinuation.

“Ahem!” Flam cleared the phlegm from his throat. “Don’t worry folks, for we have eighteen of these beauties to sell to today, so how about we start the bidding at-”

“We want to see a demonstration!” A heckler called out.

Another echoed out along the crowd. “Yeah! Demonstration!”

“Yeah! What they said!”

“DEETOOK OURAH JOOOOOOOBS!”

“Yeah!”

Flim looked to Flam, both laughing nervously. “Unfortunately,” they talked in unison, “we can’t give a live demonstration due to the paperwork required to do so!”

“Health and safety, unfortunately!" Flim lamented.

“Such a pain, Flim!” Flam mirrored his brother’s despair.

“Indeed, Flam!”

From the front row, suddenly somepony sprang up on stage.

It was none other than Miss Harshwinney, brandishing a dildobat as she glared towards the pair. “If you don’t hurry up with the demonstration, I think you will find yourself both in quite the predicament, when I sodomize your behinds with my trusty disciplinary bat. Which, I might add, has not been washed for some number of weeks.”

The brothers sweated, nervously glancing to each other.

“W-well…” Flim began, before Flam interrupted him.

“It is okay brother, please use it upon my fine mustache to show these kind ponyfolk how ingenious and useful our invention truly is! Merely trim a bit on the edges and that should satisfy them.”

The crowd cheered.

Gulping, Flim drew the electric shaver close to Flam’s face. “A-are you sure, brother?” He whispered now. “It’s still untested!”

Flam whispered back through clenched, grinning teeth. “If you don’t they’re going to lynch us, brother…”

Resolute to the fate that awaited them, Flim carefully moved the shaver towards the tip of one side of his brother's mustache.

All was fine for the moment, as the mustache was trimmed upon the edges by the device until suddenly, it got tangled up mysteriously around the serrated teeth pulling Flam’s mustache and the flesh of his face, clean off from the skull.

Screaming in agony, the fleshless face of Flam spewed blood across the crowd’s gawking faces as he ran around in circles several times before collapsing onto the ground, dead, leaving his brother horrified and sobbing at the foot of his brother’s corpse.

“N-noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”

“Hey!” A voice called out from the crowd. “That could had killed us!”

“Yeah! I’m angry! Let’s kill him!”

“Grab your pitchforks!”

“I have a comedy plushied hammer!”

“That’ll do!”

Flim, clearly outnumbered, ran for his life.

He galloped hard, only looking back every now and again to note how close his pursuers were and then once at a safe distance, he toned down his speed into a steady gallop, huffing through his nose as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"B-brother! Oh brother!"

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!

Unfortunately for the final brother, he was not exactly looking where he was going and had found himself in the direct path of Ponyville Express that was carrying a weeks supply of Playmare magazine, to which, unfortunately, the driver was clopping over.

Unable to note the stallion’s path, the driver barely realized what had happened until Flim exploded into a flurry of gore that was scattered across the train tracks.

Author's Note

This chapter’s unlucky winners are: omegapex and Diamond dust for their shaving mishap idea with Flim and Flam, and Xzrea for death by Ponyville Express. Special props to FrozenInTime for the dildobat, because that shit I find The Rock coming in was just a pun I had to do.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SEE NEXT?! Comment in the section below goddamnit and I will choose a few and write something around it!

I cannot guarantee it will be what you want.