Diamond, Sweetie, and Silver couldn't begin to process the scene in front of them.

Laying against a tree, covered in sap, Scootaloo mutters drunkenly, her shorts around her ankles and one hand stuck awkwardly in her pubic hair

Rainbow faired no better and snored loudly, her tracksuit open to the waist, her whole upper body bare except for Babs who snored on her chest, an empty bottle in one hand, leaves in the other.

And finally, Applebloom looked at them, her arms held to her sides by rope, her hair in disarray from struggling "Took ya long enough"

Diamond squeaks and runs over to Applebloom, quickly untying her "What did these savages do to you?!"

Scootaloo blinks and hisses at her "Shut it! Ruinin' my buzz..."

She slowly gets to her feet, hobbling drunkenly towards Sweetie "Sweet-swee... swee pee gee see... Sweetie! 'Mer... got shumshin ta tell ya..."

Sweetie steps forward, quickly catching Scootaloo in her arms "What is it?"

Her eyes lazily focus on Sweetie "What the fuck're you wearin'? Ya look like Jack Fuckin' Sparrow! 'Cept cuter... an' sexier..."

Sweetie shrugs "Ended up on a ship with space pirates, had to look like I belonged"

Scootaloo hiccups "Musht be somethin' in th'..." she picks up a bottle, squinting "... whatever dis shtuff is... like... crazy pills... LCD! Yeah, that, LCD..."

Applebloom rubs her wrists "Ah would usually slug her an' th' rest, but they'll pay when mornin' comes around" she looks Diamond up and down "Why do ya look like that French cake lady from history class?"

"Marie Antoinette? She never said that, in fact, she was probably so oblivious that she didn't notice the rioters until they were beating down her door" Sweetie says, zipping Rainbow Dash's tracksuit up

Applebloom rolls her eyes "Whatever. Anyways, why?"

Diamond smiles "I'll explain later. You want to carry Babs and I'll carry Rainbow?"

"I got Babs" Silver says, throwing her over one shoulder "I have a lot of experience carrying Babs home drunk"

Sweetie bride carries Scootaloo "I have Scoots, you two get Dash"

Applebloom shrugs "Ah'll get her arms, you get her legs"

After the mandatory Sharpie break, they take Rainbow Dash home

"Time travel? Ain't that th' last thing on your perfect date list?" Applebloom asks, cracking her joints

Diamond nods "Yeah, Sweetie is our very own doctor. Oh! Do you have a sonic?!"

Sweetie smiles and nods to her bag "Yes, it should be underneath the Chronal universe networking terminal"

Applebloom sighs "Sweets, acronym"

Sweetie's eyebrows knit in thought before she blushes "C.U.N.T.... Fiddlesticks!"

Applebloom stares at her "What does my second cousin have to do with it?"

Sweetie pouts "The expletive, not the person. Diamond, it should be under the-"

Applebloom holds out her hand "Don't say it, please. For my sake"

Diamond pulls her hand and head out, a small device in one hand, her gaze vacant

Silver does a double take "It- how- what? How did she-"

Diamond stops walking, hugging herself and trembling as a grin spread across her features "It's... it's... it's... IT'S BIGGER ON THE INSIDE! IT'S BIGGER ON THE INSIDE! HOLY MOTHER OF DAVROS, IT'S BIGGER ON THE INSIDE!!!"

Sweetie nods "Yeah, the technology is sound and Time Turner helped a bit"

Silver shivers "Can we go somewhere I can process all of this? I want to return to reality now"

Sweetie smiles "Sure! Let's go to Oa! I know the manager"

Applebloom and Diamond exchange worried glances

"Hi Ganthet!" Sweetie chirps, the tall man looking at her immense interest "Hello Sweetie! Why are you dressed like a space pirate and have an unconscious girl covered in tree sap in your arms?"

Sweetie smiles weakly "I'm pretty sure context just makes it worse"

Silver follows, flopping onto a chair, groaning "You have no idea how hard it is to walk in heels that haven't even been designed yet..."

Diamond and Applebloom walk in, the packets of waivers held out to Ganthet

He takes them and leans down "Figure it out yet?"

Diamond smiles but Applebloom claps a hand over her mouth "Sort of. Ah still need to be told how to get the daggum watch to work"

Ganthet shrugs "Understandable. We can talk tomorrow at noon? The store is usually vacant then"

Both girls nod and Diamond looks around the store, then at her dress "Uuhh... I feel suddenly self-conscious... wh-where do I sit?"

Oak walks out from the back and coughs out a laugh "What the hell?! I know I called you princess last time, but I didn't mean for you to come dressed as one!! Oh God, I gotta get a picture" he pulls out a pear phone and snaps several pictures before putting it in his pocket "Seriously, what's with the get up?"

Sweetie looks up from petting Scootaloo's head "Time travel, space pirate wedding, running away"

Both men nod "Not the strangest thing that's happened to you"

Applebloom stares at them "You belie- oh, of course you'd believe her considering your jobs"

Ganthet shrugs "In our line of work, you see a lot of things... and as to where you can sit, Flash! Help Diamond out of her dress!"

Flash walks out, a peeved look on his face "You know I have Gynephobi- Oh, a classic whale bone/ corset, yeah, let me get the skirt off you, and loosen the corset too, that might be loose by the past's standards, but still too tight"

Diamond nods and after a practiced series of movements, Diamond breathes out "Holy crap... I was holding my breath?"

Flash looks at the inside of the dress "Uhhh... wherever you got this... it's illegal. It's made of a series of human bones and teeth. And the cloth is... I hope I'm wrong... shark skin... and the leather is..." he shivers "Human as well... where in the name of Khorne did you go?"

Diamond shrieks and pulls the corset and brace off, throwing it at a window as if it had bit her

Sweetie checks her pirate jacket "... Ganthet, do you have that copy of the symbol codex I brought you on hand, do you?"

The man nods and pulls out a large tome with the words "Codex of symbols and what they mean"

Motioning for him to set it next to her, she opens it and traces down a series of symbols, her face paling when she stops "Uhhh... Guys, w-we just pissed off a group of slaver pirates... and the third most notorious..." she looks at Silver who was drinking a bottled water "I think you should take being taken as the bride of 'Karzda-beroun the first' as a tremendous complement... because he had the most discerning tastes in women in the history of the 5th great age of piracy"

Silver stares at her and pulls out a large ring "... So I'm guessing this ring he gave me wasn't just because he thought it complemented my eyes?"

Ganthet walks over, a loupe in one hand "Let's see that- HELLO!" he steps back "I may not be a jeweler, but that right there, has too many facets... I'd guess that if you were able to sell it, it'd fetch you the hope diamond and the crown jewels with enough to leave the entire world in debt..."

Silver stares at it "Really?! And I just threw that away with a simple 'Whatever'? Oh my god, I'm gonna faint..." she gasps and falls into Ganthet's arms

Diamond picks the ring up, inspecting it herself "... Silvy... you just hit the world's biggest rotten boon"

Applebloom stares at her "Aren't ya cold? Ya ain't got anything on 'sides your bra and panties"

Diamond gasps, covering herself "C-can someone get me a shirt and some pants? I left mine back on the pirate ship"

"Do ya still have your phone?" Ganthet asks

Diamond nods, fishing it out of the corset, pen attached to the side

Diamond sighs, hugging Flash "You're a good friend, Flash"

His body goes rigid "no touching... gynophobic, remember?"

Diamond releases him "Sorry"

"How did you even have a pair of clothes that would fit her?" Oak asks, reading a comic

OH SHIT! They don't know Star left a pair here when Blues spilled orange soda a month ago! Wait! That's it!

"Star's emergency clothes" she mouths

He turns "They're Star's spares. I figured that they might have similar sizes"

Ganthet nods to Diamond "Whenever you get the chance, return them to us, Star Sapphire is a close friend of ours"

I know how close she is because I'm her! Diamond bites her lip "I will, thanks"

Applebloom stands up "Well, ah can see ah have no business in here so ah'm gonna go home and sleep in my bed. G'night"

Diamond wants to reach out but doesn't It's better if I don't... I don't want to seem clingy

Applebloom pauses "Actually, why don't we have a sleep over at Sweetie's? The dangerous trio and the snob twins under one roof! What do ya guys think?"

Silver shrugs "Cool with me, I was going to stay with Babs so that she doesn't cause trouble but... I'm sure all 5 of us can handle her"

"There's another one of you? Where is she?" Oak asks

They all point to the door

Oak looks out, quickly earning him a punch "Yer gonna have ta be faster'n me ta sneak up on me... troll person... FUCK! I'm drunk..."

He walks back in, holding his face "She punched me..."

"She does that a lot" Silver says, standing up "I'm going to spend the next few hours on the floor, nude, and with this ring. Draw your own conclusions as to what I'm going to be doing"

Diamond stares at the corset and skirt, biting her lower lip "It looks good on me, but made of shark and humans..."

Applebloom rolls her eyes and picks up the clothing "My family has human-skin lampshades, made from the skin of deceased relatives an' back in th' olden times, people who slept with sons an' daughters out of wedlock... or so Granny says, and that does explain why she has that one with the tattoos actually... huh, never thought of that"

Sweetie smiles and carries Scootaloo out "Have a nice evening guys!"

Diamond shivers and follows Applebloom "That's... disturbing in too many ways"

Diamond stares at the dress on a mannequin "... It's both macabre and beautiful"

Silver sets the 5th necklace in a box "I can't believe that I could've been the wife of a space pirate. But hey, I have the most valuable diamond worth so much that I could bankrupt the world"

Sweetie giggles "I Have the perfect girl in my lap and the closest friends I could wish for"

"... You have what?" Applebloom asks

"The closest friends I could ever ask for?"

"... That's what ah thought you said" Applebloom says, scooting closer to Diamond "Ah think that you pull that dress off nicely Diamond"

Diamond shivers "Don't be creepy Bloom, that is a fascinating and yet grotesque abomination"

Applebloom shrugs "Ah tried. So, did ya get me any shiny things?"

Diamond nods and pulls a sword out of Sweetie's bag "I got this from the pirates' vault. Look, it has your family crest on it!"

Sweetie looks up from Scootaloo "It's a sword from your descendants to commemorate something that happens in a few months I think. I don't know who though"

Applebloom lifts it, her hand slipping into indentations on the grip "Wow, feels like it was made for me... actually..." she stares at the hand gripping it "Ah think may be made for me... my fingers fit in there perfectly"

Diamond shrugs "I thought that since it had your family crest on it, you might like it"

Sweetie shakes her head "I think Applebloom's right, I mean, she could be the one who does something but if that's true, and me bringing it back to our present, that would mean that there must be two blades the exact same at some point..."

Applebloom stares at the blade "My brother talks about time travel a lot and that junk, he explains his theories to me but I can barely follow. But ah do know that there are two explanations; one, what Sweetie said about there being two blades... and two, that there is only one and the one that someone in my family gets it from me... and if so-"

"Where did it come from originally to set off this fixed moment in time? Oh wow, I think we've gotten another rotten boon" Diamond and Sweetie finish, speaking in unison

Silver groans "Okay, I'm going to a locked room to do what I said I would as we left the shop. I need out of the crazy now"

Applebloom sighs "So do ah, but it seems to follow me like a bloodhound"

Sweetie frowns "We can talk about something else... you can choose if you want"

Silver rolls her eyes "Fine, but one more thing that gives me a headache, and I'm out. Okay... how about we talk about guys and girls we like?"

Diamond and Applebloom stare at her "Uhh... should we go?"

Silver shakes her head "Nah, I'll start... since I haven't been here in a while, how are Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum doing? Still have the silhouette of the number 10?"

"Ya mean Snips an' Snails? Diamond, don't ya have their numbers?"

Diamond pulls out her phone "Yeah... Sweetie, does your TV have a intelli-phone receiver for face time?"

Sweetie nods and points the small device Diamond had pulled out earlier at the TV, it popping to life before turning to black "Go for it"

Diamond taps her phone and the screen blinks, two screens appearing on the screen which are quickly filled by the two aforementioned men

"What's up D?" Snips asks

"Silver's visiting and she wants to know if you guys are still a string bean and a pumpkin" Diamond says, Applebloom covering Silver's eyes

Both guys smirk "Yeah, I guess we do leave people speechless because of our size" Snails says, flexing his arm

Silver sighs "They're worse, aren't they? Snails is a stick-bug and Snips is so fat, that when he got in a monster truck, it turned into a low-rider?"

Both boys glare at her "That's pretty hurtful" Diamond says

"Just show me them" Silver commands

Applebloom removes her hands and Silver looks up "... Holy crap"

Both guys stare down at her "Well, do we match your expectations?"

Silver shakes her head "What happened to you guys? Radiation?"

"Puberty, boredom, and way too much time on our hands" Snails says, looking around the room "Why are you wearing a dress?"

"Long story that I will not share because ignoring it is the only way to ensure my continued sanity"

Both guys shrug "Need anything else? 'Exploration time' is on in 6 minutes"

Applebloom and Silver stare at them "What are you? 6?"

They roll their eyes and the screen goes black as the call ends

"I like 'Exploration time'" Sweetie says, still stroking Scootaloo's hair

Applebloom sighs "Of course you do, now what?"

Silver smiles "Pip"

Applebloom grins "Went back to his home in England"

"He's from Mane" Diamond says, brushing some lint off Applebloom's shirt

Silver hums in concentration "Rumble?"

"Otaku who has a constant boner for Sweetie and hates my guts" Diamond says, staring at Applebloom's hair "Hey, can I mess with your hair? I think you'd look good with a pony tail"

"Twist?"

"Datin' snails and works at the candy store" Applebloom says before looking down at Diamond "Yeah, why not? Just don't lose my bow"

"Dinky?"

"Working with her parents part time, sometimes stops by when I need a spare pair of eyes or a new perspective on a project. And she always brings me fresh food her mom has on hand. The woman has the baker's Midas touch"

"Featherweight?"

"... Dunno, haven't seen him since he left to become a journalist in Manehatten. Oh! And apparently he's allergic to spider bites, we were at a museum when I think it was a male black widow that he disturbed, or something. I suspect he may have turned into Spiderman but I haven't heard or read about a masked hero lately" Diamond says, brushing Applebloom's hair

Sweetie laughs "No, but if he did, that would be awesome! Like if we were power rangers or something!"

Applebloom and Diamond shiver You have no idea how right you are they both think to themselves

Silver snorts "Power rangers? I'm sorry, but that's for little kids! And Diamond. Who is like a little kid in her man-cave"

Diamond blushes and focuses her attention on Applebloom's shiny scarlet hair, like a cascading waterfall of crimson blood cut from the vein of a hemophiliac, shimmering with bands of light like a blade drawn in front of a rich, breathtaking sunset...

She lifts it up like one would a swathe of valuable cloth, watching it catch the light, the strands somehow warming her hands, as if they contained a fire, the silky strands invite her closer, whispering to her to experience it

She takes a long sniff, the smell of pine trees accented by the smell of apples revitalizing her mind. she rests her cheek on it, cooing at how it felt like a warm blanket woven from pure gossamer

"Uhh... Diamond? What are you doin'?" Applebloom asks, a blush blooming across her cheeks

Diamond twitches and slowly sits up, her face bright red "I-Uh... I have no excuse... I'm being weird again, aren't I? I wish I wasn't so... strange"

Applebloom chuckles and lifts Diamond's chin, kissing her lightly on the lips "You? Weird? Look at who's in the room an' tell me that again"

Diamond laughs and leans up, returning the kiss "I know, no one is a weird as Sweetie Belle, not by a long shot"

"Pinkie Pie" Silver says

"Pinkie" Applebloom replies

"Pinkamena Diane Responsibility Cottage lamppost Cubic Zirconium Humble Pie!" Sweetie chirps, all eyes staring at her "What? That's her full name"

Silver sighs "Okay, I know I said no talking about weird stuff, but Pinkie Pie doesn't count in this case, I've long since abandoned the idea of making sense of her. And the next one I want to know about is... Spike"

"He's dating my sister!" Sweetie chirps, causing Scootaloo to groan and sit up "Whazza... Where am I?"

"Welcome back to the world of the sober Scoots" Applebloom says before clapping her hands in her ear

"OW! HOLY MOTHER OF-OWWW!! AAUUGHH!!!! MY OWN VOICE IS KILLING- OWWWWWW!!!" she screams, rolling on the floor, hands clapped over her ears

"Scoots!" Sweetie yells, jumping to her side

"Nice one" Silver says, hi-fiving Applebloom

"Twern't nothin'" Applebloom says, turning around to Diamond who was staring at the floor "Ah thought ya wanted to braid my hair?"

Diamond nods "I do, but I made it weird"

Applebloom sighs "Is this a trick to get another kiss?"

"... Maybe"

Applebloom spins around and grabs Diamond, kissing her passionately

Diamond lets out a half-finished squeak before relaxing and moaning into the kiss, surrendering to Applebloom

"..." Silver pulls out a video camera "That's some chunky stuff right there"

Applebloom breaks contact, Diamond trying to keep up, not wanting the kiss to end

"Nope, ya have to earn 'em, remember?"

Diamond smiles dreamily, her eyes unfocused "Earn them, yeah, I can do that"

Applebloom points to her hair "Like I said, get to it"

Sitting back down, Diamond hums as she works, brushing it again

"Wow, you have Diamond in the palm of your hand" Silver says, amused

Sweetie walks back into the room with Scootaloo holding a gallon of water in one hand, her head in the other "No loud noises please, I'm more hungover than Berry Punch the day following Irish Oktoberfest... she says it's a thing, but it's also the only time that she drinks heavy... never let me have kids, hers are nice and all, but dang, if the stories about her in the past are even half true, we lost the world's greatest drunkard with a killer bod, fists, and an attitude to match. Now she's all of that except not a drunkard"

"... How did you get so much alcohol anyways? You're underage"

"But Babs isn't, and then Rainbow brought more. I think she found where your sister hid the Zap cider because I feel like I have a whole construction crew building a city in my head... and they are wearing spiked boots"

"Speakin' of my sister, I gotta call" Applebloom says, pulling out her phone

Applejack picks up the landline "Hello?"

"Hey Sis"

"Hey Bloom, you haven't been messin' around with the lock on the cider well have ya? It's on backwards"

Applebloom rolls her eyes and pulls out her codebook "No, but after a 20.3 including 4.7, ah think we need to move it again"

Applejack groans and pulls out her own copy "Okay, so does that mean that we rotate to WC82? Or is it CWC34? Ah get the whole thing mixed up"

"The latter, anyways, me an' th' gang are gonna stay at Sweetie's for the night. That cool?"

"Yeah, sounds fine, but you have chores tomorrow, remember?"

Applebloom nods "Ah know, see ya in th' morning"

Hanging up her phone, Applebloom shrugs "She's cool with it, and are there any other people ya want an update on?"

Silver hums in thought "One more, that witch in the forest, how's she?"

Applebloom shivers "We... ain't on speakin' terms no more..."

"Applebloom blew up her house last month, potions and junk was everywhere, reactions going off like fireworks. Applebloom was pretty funny afterwards, she grew not 1, not 2, but 3 horsecocks, her hair was blue and she kept on speaking backwards and after that, when the other things went away, she grew a foot in height, that's why her boots aren't as thick as they used to be... and is a lightweight"

Applebloom blushes "Scoots... come over here, ah got somethin' for ya"

Scootaloo crawls over to her "Yeah?"

Applebloom claps her hands over Scootaloo's ears, the girl screeching silently as she writhed on the floor

"Applebloom!" Sweetie whispers, pulling Scootaloo into her arms to cradle her

Silver shrugs "I do that to make sure that Babs doesn't spend all her money on booze. It works most of the time but then someone else gets her booze, so then I do the thing that she can't escape from, the one thing that she hates most. Dominating her at video games"

Babs stirs, rubbing her head "Heya guys, what'cha talkin' 'bout? How sexy ah am?"

Silver rolls her eyes and clocks Babs "Silence, sober people and Scootaloo are talking"

Babs rubs her cheek "Ya hit like a girl!"

"I am a girl!" Silver yells

"I AM IN PAIN!" Scootaloo yells, Sweetie glaring at them with her best pouting face

Applebloom sighs "Do ya want me an' Diamond to punch the both of ya?"

Babs grins "Nah, not on my checklist of things to do. So, ya never answered my question, how is she in bed?"

Diamond blushes again, muttering under her breath

Applebloom groans "Ya wanna know? She's a lot nicer than ah could've imagined anyone could be without being afraid of their own shadow like Fluttershy! An' ah'm pretty sure that ya don't even have someone to compliment yer sorry, foul mouthed self! In th' words of my granny 'Yah must be so dang lonely without the comfort of your own self-respect or another body'"

Babs blinks and then smiles "FINALLY! Finally ya stop ya pussy footin' 'round me! Took ya too damn long if ya ask me cuz!"

"What?" Applebloom asks, confused

Babs chuckles "Ya see cuz, I am what ya might call a 'bruiser' or a 'punk' or even a 'ne'er-do-well' if ya feel fancy-like. Point is, I don't really 'spect people 'til dey either insult me, call me out, or beat me in a one-on-one street rules fight. Silvy has done all three by the way"

Silver blushes

"Anyways, you were the only one who ain't done any of dese in the time I've known ya, so I just kept on pokin' an' pokin' an' poking 'til I got a reaction. Like uhhh... dat one teacher in uhhh... what was dat movie 'bout th' drummer?"

"'Whiplash'?" Silver asks

"Yeah! Dat's the one! Anyways, glad to see dat ya got a spine" Babs crosses her arms before reaching into her pocket "By the way, I 'Productively borrowed*' Rainbow's junk. Lookit!"

Scootaloo stirs and looks at the items "Her spare video cards, wallet, lock picking stuff, spare change, and her motorcycle keys" she looks up at Sweetie who smiles down at her "You're too good to me Sweetie. Seriously, why are you so nice to me?"

Sweetie cocks her head "Because I love you silly!"

Scootaloo rolls her eyes "Because I'm your friend? Yeah, I guess that poster in your room is right 'Friendship is power' and all that childish junk"

Sweetie shakes her head and leans down, kissing Scootaloo chastely "That's what I meant by love, silly Scoots"

Scootaloo blushes as everyone else gasps, even Babs

"Okay, I'm just gonna go on record 'ere and say dat I had no idea dat dis was a kissin' party" Babs says, earning an uppercut from Silver

Applebloom gulps and Diamond stops her braiding "Did you know that she-"

"Of course ah didn't know!" Applebloom hisses, her eyes glued to Scootaloo's face

Silver however moves her camera to the pair, grinning "This is the crazy I like, and this night just got a lot more interesting"

Author's Note

for some lols if you play, or like funny cartoons
* A friend who is a Manhattenite said this is his euphemism for "Stealing", I happen to like it too
As I publish this, the stats are 99 upvotes! so if you read this and haven't upvoted yet, please do!
Up next is a special chapter based around Truth or Dare! So please, suggest some questions or dares!
and on an unrelated note, I have something that I need some people to do me a favor. I have a blog post that outlines why I am a little peeved. So if the things outlined in it happen as I have predicted, I will need a list of people who can say that I called it. I hope to get royalties or a job (A job would be awesome) and for that, I need people.
My blog rant (Contains S5 Spoilers)
and if you don't want to, that's cool. Of course, the post itself will probably get me banned so... if this is my last chapter, I have something to say.
You are all my friends, whether or not you support this endeavor, I will still consider you my dear friends.
You are the ones who guide me to greatness and, I cannot repay that kindness.
And I wish to make a shout out to those who bother to care about a hack writer like me:
a special shout out to HavokAfterDark, who made my heart melt and made me feel like I was actually accomplishing something.
Kazz the Hunter: your constant comments and kindness has given me the will to move on with what I would've left as a one-shot
super57s: You made me see that what I do is making me a better person, and that having friends who are cartoon ponies is okay. A thing I cannot ever hope to repay
Nocturnal Derp (Formerly Derpy Soldier): you are a great friend and it is an honor to know that some distant man or woman is protecting a country that I at one point thought was run by fools
Gas Jockey Pegasus: you helped inspire this story with our back and forth conversations. This story is here because of your imagination
Sirob1867: you helped me on my way to making so many friends when you posted that blog that lead for me to write sharing vision, you are awesome
Rainbow Shine: ... my best pervert friend on this site
Texus: I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in a while, I hope your stories become more successful than mine
MusicalMelody: hey, contact me sometime, I'm worried about you
Fluttershy2424: you are a great friend to me, with a lot of patience
Creed Alborn: Rp'ing with you is the highlight of my week
And to the rest who I haven't mentioned by name, you all make me stronger just by following

And! As is my usual personality tic, I must now be not serious
RANDOM PONY PICTURE!