Applebloom's phone rings, rousing her from sleep "Hullo?"

"Applebloom! This is of the utmost importance! Can you break curses?!" Scootaloo asks, panic in her voice

"... Scoots, it is too dang early in the day for this. Go back to bed"

"I swear this isn't a joke! Look out your window!"

"If you are tryin' to break into my house... again... whoa" hanging upside down nude is Scootaloo, covered with feathers, birdseed, half her hair missing, and assorted fruit stuck to her. And for some reason, there was a halibut stuck in one armpit and a fox under the other

"Help?"

Scootaloo sits on a rubber mat, looking pissed off "What am I? A six year old with bowel problems?"

"Nope, ah just don't want stuff all over my floor. So what happened?"

Scootaloo sighs "I was skateboarding around earlier, trying to find someone to hang with when I wipe out right behind your waifu-"

"My what?"

"Waifu, seriously hayseed, get a life" she clears her throat "After talking to her for a minute, I had the idea to go visit Rainbow to see if she survived her selfless sacrifice.

Arriving at Sugarcube corner, I found her covered with sparkly glitter, Devotion red 14 to be precise, a high-end lap dancing aromatic glitter commonly used in Manehatten and surrounding cities. She looked drunk and kept muttering how red it was inside of the fluff and drowning in cool azure pools. I figured that Pinkie had put her in a food coma and then hypnotized her. And she was wearing nothing but frilly panties, a padded bra, and a few hairpins. After finding Pinkie in her basement cooking up some kind of witchy stuff, she told me that you had been by and after she made me sample her brew, I bolted out of there.

So I hung out with Pound and Pumpkin for a while, mostly teaching them how to hit targets from the roof. Twilight was so mad that she kept on being hit with acorns and pebbles through the bathroom window while she was having a bubble bath. Then Pound said that we could use some of Pinkie's dehydrated taffy powder pellets and give her a sweet surprise" Scootaloo laughs "She had relaxed into the quick-taffy and before she knew it, everything below her breasts were stuck in solid taffy! She sat there for an hour, frozen, a crazy smile on her face! Then we started to pelt her with pebbles and bits of fondant , which just bounced around her for a few minutes before she screamed and started trying to escape the taffy before passing out, or she burst a blood vessel; I don't know"

Applebloom rubs her head "Scoots... did she ever escape?"

Scootaloo shrugs "Iono, not my problem. Anyways, after that I left the twins and decided to visit you... that's when things started to happen. I rode over a rock and my poontang finder swerved and I crashed into Bee Hive's honey store and got myself covered in honey and the bees were angry at me and I ran out, chucking my clothes off like it said in the 'Worst case scenario handbook' the bees sticking to me like some kind of beard mustache combo before I slipped on some honey, landed face first in the fish market's ice box. The manager got angry at me and after slapping me with this fish, I ran away, and I slipped on some ice that fell off the fish and crashed into Knockershy and she had a bag of birdseed and for some reason, a fox, which attacked me and is still stuck to my armpit. I freaked out and ran here, my scooter held in hand, and I stepped on a landmine that Rainbow set up so that she could somersault into Applejacks room, but I activated it wrong and got launched into your tree. So I hung there for a while and suddenly my butt started buzzing, meaning someone was calling my booty" Scootaloo grins at Applebloom "Get it? 'Booty call'?"

Applebloom rubs her face harder "Ah get it"

"Sweetie was calling and wanted to know if I was coming to the pool with her. I think Rarity said she was dropping the kids off at the pool or something, which means she was gonna get her supah freak on. So I told her I was stuck in a tree with a fox, a fish, and some birdseed and couldn't. She giggled and then asked if I wanted some fruit. I was hungry, so I said yes and she came over and started tossing me fruit. I stuck some on me in case I got hungry" Scootaloo pulls a tomato off her chest, one side glistening with birdseed and honey "Birdseed has no taste but is quite filling"

She sticks the fruit back on herself "So we talked but then she left because of her curfew or something. So I swung in the wind for a minute, trying to talk to the fox, but I couldn't tell what it was trying to say, and then I had the idea to butt-dial you" she grins again "Because my phone is on my butt, get it? Huh? Pretty clever huh?"

Applebloom groans and stares at her friend "Why?"

Scootaloo ponders this "Because I'm cursed? A nerd I ran into said something about cursing me earlier and you're the only family I know of who has down-home poultices and junk besides the Clampets"

Applebloom sighs and walks out of the room "Don't move"

Scootaloo salutes and finishes up her tomato

Applejack stares at Scootaloo, the aforementioned girl chewing on an apple "So she's cursed?"

Applebloom nods "Yup, ah'm not sure how to get rid of it though. What do you think?"

Applejack rubs her head "Just give me a minute to think"

Scootaloo stretches "Take all the time you need, I'm not scheduled for an appointment with the Victory's mystery: lingerie and playgirl edition until noon. This year they have 500 centerfolds! I could jizz all over myself just at the thought of it!"

The two Apples back away "Okay... we need RD to help us... she's the only person equipped to deal with her"

"Someone call my name?" Rainbow asks, hanging from the door by her feet

Applejack slugs the smug athlete, her fist missing the target as Rainbow pulls herself up "I heard everything, and I know how to remove curses"

She somersaults off the wall, landing softly on the ground "Hit yourself with the halibut, bite a chunk out of a fruit, and inhale a seed"

Scootaloo does, all of the honey disappears and the fox scampers away, leaving Scootaloo nude and holding a fish "How?"

Rainbow grins "I hang with Pinkie Pie, and I was cursed by a one-eyed monster once, similar things happened to me"

Applejack groans "Ah'm goin' back to bed, this is too much crazy... wait-" Applejack punches both athletes, launching them out Applebloom's window

"We're blasting off again!!!!" they yell, disappearing into the horizon

Applebloom shakes her head and lays down in bed, falling asleep instantly

Diamond stirs from sleep, trapped in a cloth prison "Okay, think logically, how do I get out of this?"

She rolls back and forth in contemplation, looking like a bagworm stuck in the wind I can't force my way out... and I can barely move... I am therefore helpless... right now would be a good time to discover I have telekinesis or something...

Diamond focuses her mind, envisioning a hand lifting up her phone and dialing

...

Okay, I'm not Doctor X, how about... Telepathy!

Once again she focuses her mind, sending her thoughts to someone.

Applebloom! I need your help!

Everything goes black, her message echoing around in her head

"Why are ya makin' that face?" Applebloom asks staring at the ball of cloth and girl

"Holy shit! It worked! I'm a telepath! This is awesome!"

Applebloom sits next to Diamond "Ah'm sure you aren't one of those, ah just came over to get away from the weirdness in town"

Diamond stares "And you came to the throne room of the nerd queen?"

"No, ah came to hang with my... girlfriend" Applebloom replies, the ball squealing and bouncing with happiness "If I could escape I would kiss you!"

Applebloom grins "Ah'll help you out of there"

Grabbing the ball, Applebloom yanks on it, Diamond unrolling, her clothing soaked with sweat. She leaps and hugs Applebloom "My hero"

"Ah thought that'd be one of those guys in tights on your wall" Applebloom jokes, hugging the sweaty girl

"You don't need a costume to be my hero" she says, kissing Applebloom

She returns the kiss, pulling Diamond closer, her hand on top of the girl's bra

Diamond moans, pawing Applebloom's back as if afraid to lose grip

Applebloom grins, breaking the kiss "Seein' you all sweaty... is nice"

Diamond's heart skips a beat "W-well... would it be better if I were nude and sweaty?"

Applebloom grins "Ah think ah'd like WAKE UP!!"

Diamond sits up, her pillow held close to her chest "Wha-"

Applebloom sits next to her "You were muttering in your sleep. You looked like it was a bad one so ah woke ya up"

She blinks "So close... so damn close..."

Applebloom picks up a book from the floor "So... Scoots is somewhere with Rainbow, doing somethin', ah really don't want to know what that somethin' is though. Sweetie is helpin' Rarity with a project and last time ah tried to help, the boutique smelled like stale ketchup for a week. And Rarity's hair turned green too"

Diamond nods "So... no one to bother us? All day? Just the two of us? Alone?"

Applebloom nods "Yup, so get ready, ah'll be waitin' outside"

After she leaves, Diamond jumps for joy "A whole day with Applebloom! this is perfect! Wait- outside?"

Inside Diamond's mind, a projector started, three tiny people sitting behind it "This aught to be good" the one with a goatee says munching on popcorn

The other, one wearing a hardhat and a regulation clean-shave looks at his companion "Where did you get popcorn Crow?"

"Brought it from the kindness and submission center, Tom. They were giving it away" Crow replies

Tom stares at him "Wasn't that the old sass super center?"

Crow grins "Yup, we worked on it together, building and junk, now shut your yap, you too Mike! The movie's about to start"

Tom and Mike grab a handfuls of popcorn sit back

On the screen is Applebloom and Diamond Tiara sitting on a hill, smiling "You know why ah invited you out here?"

"I'm gonna murder ya, bury you under the tree, and use your bones to feed mah dog!" Crow yells

"Not really, I was hoping so that we could... talk" Diamond says, blushing slightly

"And I'm going to murder you, rape your corpse, and use you skeleton as a sex toy!" Tom yells, Mike cracking up next to him

Applebloom grins seductively "What ah had planned doesn't involve much talkin... if ya catch my drift"

"Holy shit! I was right!" Tom yells

Diamond turns away bashfully "A-applebloom... we can't... there are people here..."

"We need to kill all these witnesses before we have passionate blood sex" Crow says

Apple bloom snakes her hand underneath Diamond's shirt, grabbing a plump breast "Ah know, that's the plan. Let's see if anyone notices you bending over, my hand in your tight cunny. You may even get to lick mah hand when we're done"

Diamond blushes and tries to squirm out of Applebloom's grip, the stronger girl easily holding her in place "Please... stop... not here..."

Applebloom quickly removes a shoe and its sock, releasing Diamond before pressing her down with her foot, sweat glistening on it

"I bet 20 bucks she says to lick it" Tom says, handing Mike a bill

"You're on" Crow says, passing a crumpled bill to Mike

"Lick it, ya know ya want to" Applebloom says, moving her toes closer to Diamond's lips

"I win!" Tom says, Mike passing him the dollars

"It smells so..." Diamond gulps, her blush brighter

"Rank?" Tom guesses

"Tay-stee!" Crow yells, nearly dropping his popcorn

Suddenly the whole room shakes, the scene getting far away as the three viewers run through a series of doors

"Diamond! Diamond! Wakey wakey!" Applebloom yells, shaking Diamond

"What? What happened to the satellite?" She asks, steadying herself

"No satellite, just you spacin' out" Applebloom replies

Diamond sighs "Oh how I wish I had such an opportunity... and then ascend to a higher being at the end..."

Applebloom sets Diamond down slowly, stepping back "Ah have no idea what you're talkin' about, and it scares me a little"

Diamond smiles weakly "Sorry, my mind wanders..."

Applebloom gives her a flat look "No kiddin'. Anyways, do you want me to stay up here so that you don't space out?"

Diamond smiles, kissing Applebloom on the nose "No, unless you want to watch me strip or..." she bites her lower lip "Want to take a shower with me?"

Applebloom shrugs "Sorry, already showered and we don't have that much time to spend lollygaggin'"

Walking out, Diamond whimpers So oblivious... so... unaware

After a quick shower, the mandatory masturbating session, her ambivalent mind both wanting to just enjoy getting away with pleasing herself to the thought of Applebloom on the other side of the door and wanting to be found out and then the mandated sexy times that would ensue

Applebloom gives Diamond an incredulous look "Ah thought you'd take longer"

"Why? Do I have something on my face?!" Diamond asks, running her still wet fingers over her face

"Nah, but ah thought that fancy girls spent a long time in the bathroom. Sweetie takes an hour to relieve herself and I'm worried her husband will wonder if by the time she's done, he'll be too old to care"

Diamond chuckles "I get that joke! What about Rarity?"

Applebloom sighs "On average, accordin' to my sister, an hour an' a half. I know that all that make up is 'Important', but in that time I could use the restroom, order my meal, get it, win the eating contest, and be home in time for another bathroom break"

Diamond snorts "Yeah, so where are we going? The park for a picnic?"

Applebloom shakes her head "Nope, some place better"

"... Does it involve working on your orchard?"

"Dagnabbit! Ya done caught me!" Applebloom jokes, grinning

Diamond crosses her arms in thought "... The museum?"

Applebloom stares "No, why would you think that?"

"I like museums, they're quiet, you can learn stuff, and find Triassic gems that will lead to an adventure! Or a ancient symbionic machine that will give you super powers! Or be chosen by an aging wizard to become a champion of magic! Or be teleported to another planet by a stray beam and have adventures saving that world, and being a hero! Or even... even finding a time machine! No, I time and space machine! That would be so fricken' awesome! Can we go to the museum to find a time machine?!"

Applebloom backs away "No, it ain't somethin' like that... ah hope"

Diamond blushes "Sorry... I just get so excitable around you..."

Applebloom kisses Diamond, holding her tight

Breaking the kiss, Applebloom smiles "Ah'm used to it. just... try and tone it down okay?"

Diamond nods, leaning in for another kiss when her lips meet a hand "Nope, gotta earn 'em"

Pouting, Diamond backs away, but not before taking a small taste of Applebloom's hand "Fine, where are we going?"

Applebloom smiles "A place that Ah saw on my way here"

...GREAT MAKER! Why here?! Diamond shivers, staring up at the door to "OA comics"

Applebloom takes Diamond's silence for joy, pulling her into the shop "Ah wasn't sure if you knew about this place or not, ah thought it would be a good way to follow what you say sometimes, and this place is Scootaloo proof, Never goes in, for some reason she says she can't see it..."

The normally pleasant smell of unpleasantness is now an unpleasant smell of unpleasantness.

All eyes stare at Diamond who is trying in vain to hide behind Applebloom

"Y'all act like ya never seen girls before!" Applebloom says, pulling Diamond out from behind her

Oak Forest breaks the silence "well well... If it isn't Milia Jenius, here to attack us again?"

Diamond shakes her head "N-no... I was brought here by my friend... we're leaving right now"

Applebloom raises an eyebrow "Why are ya scared of them? Ah thought that you were one of 'em"

Blues snorts "Yeah, right! She came in here one day a few years ago and nearly tore the place apart looking for someone to fight. Ganthet took the challenge and went all Maxi on her sorry princess butt and kicked her out. She kept coming back each day, the same thing happening, until one day she just rushed in and tried to topple him. Needless to say, she almost did it but three of us tore her off of him and for reasons I won't explain, I used my bear mace on her"

Oak laughs "Yeah, she ran out of her with the grace of a headless taun-taun, bawling her eyes out! I thought that her father would sue all of us but the next day he came in and apologized, he even bowed on his hands and knees. Needless to say, we wanted an apology from her, 'Don't blame the parent for the sin of the child' and all that"

"It's the other way around, Pinocchio. 'Blame not the child for the sins of the parents'" Flash says, leaning back in his chair

"Since when were you a bible thumper?"

"I may be a bastard in the dictionary sense, but my mom takes me to church Wednesday and Sunday. So I know my verses pretty well" Flash replies, pulling a small cross pendant out of his baggy jumpsuit

Blues nods "Never pegged you for the type, but we have a more pressing matter at hand. The return of the petulant child"

"That's redundant, 'Petulant' means 'Like a child' you called me a childish child" Diamond says before clapping her hands over her mouth

Blues blinks "Huh... good point-OW!"

Oak rubs his hand "Yeesh, you got a hard head... and don't give her the satisfaction!"

Applebloom sighs "Y'all want an apology? Diamond, why don't ya just apologize? You apologize to me three times an hour"

Flash waves a cutting motion at Diamond, mouthing "Run for it! Go go go!"

Ganthet walks out from the back room when his eyes zero in on Diamond "... Hello Tiara"

Diamond waves meekly "H-hi"

"Finally, after 4 years, come to apologize? I'd offer you some coffee but that's for people I like"

Diamond turns Applebloom around, her eyes pleading "Please... not here... let's go ho- mmm..."

Applebloom kisses Diamond, Blues clapping and whistling before Oak slaps him again

Breaking the kiss, Applebloom fixes Diamond with a hard look "Apologize to them now, or ah will tell Scoots everything about you. And ah might never speak to a coward like you again. Understand?"

Diamond gets on her hands and knees, her forehead touching the floor of the store, her voice shaking in fear "I... I'm so very sorry. I was in a horrible mind set back then but that is no excuse for my behavour. I wanted to come here and apologize so many times in the past but I have always given into fear, rather than listening to my willpower. I ask only for your forgiveness, not your pity. I know that if your heart should be set against me, I will leave, never to return. You will hear no more from me or my ilk. So now I prostrate myself before you, not in the anonymity of the night, but the sight of the day"

Applebloom claps "Ah have no idea what some of those words meant, but they sounded genuine"

Blues shrugs "That's all I wanted really"

"Meh, should've come and done that in the first place but I forgive you too... now get up, that carpeting is probably full of dirt" Oak mutters, returning to his game

Flash smiles "I forgive you because of how you worded that. Like something out of OUAT. Actually, you sounded like Regina a bit"

Ganthet uncrosses his arms "Finally! I was about to lose the pool to Stumps over how long it'd take you to do that"

"MY NAME ISN'T STUMPS!"

Ganthet shrugs and offers a hand to Diamond "Need some help up?"

She looks up, tears in her eyes, and accepts it, turning it into a hug like someone who ran a country*

Applebloom grins "See? Honesty goes a long wa- what?"

Blues blinks "How long has that other girl stood there?"

Oak face-palms "You idiot, you were clapping when they were kissing"

Blues nods "Oh yeah, I forgot because you keep hitting me with your wooden hands!"

"Well, I guess that means the blue fairy was sloppy!" Oak yells, standing on his chair

"No fighting in the store. If you need to fight, do it outside where we can take bets" Flash says, looking up from his sketchbook

Applebloom blinks "And ah thought that only me and my friends were this bad... and they're probably all smarter than ah am"

Diamond nods, still staring at the floor "You... you wouldn't really leave me... would you?"

Applebloom lifts Diamond's chin, smiling "No, ah thought you needed the right motivation. You need me too much"

Diamond blushes "St-shut up..."

Ganthet claps his hands, drawing all attention to himself "Well, now that that's over, we can finally bring out the real store!"

Flash grins and presses something underneath his table, Blues and Oak doing the same

The walls open slowly, bookshelves sliding forward on shimmering tracks set in the floor. The book cases on the floor separate, several more rising up, crisp books and merchandise now on display.

Diamond nearly stumbles out of the doorway when Applebloom grabs her hand, pulling her back in "... Was the doorway always several stories above ground... and growing?" Diamond asks, watching a crowd of people gather to watch as the store grows

"It was, at one point, but we thought that a giant building would make it hard to hide. By the way, welcome to our little club" Blues says, putting a hand on both their shoulders

"C-club?" both girls ask, still watching the store grow

"Yup, the 700 miles high club!" Flash says, erupting in laughter

Pulling both girls back, the door closes and a bookshelf covers it, clicking in place "Ignore Flash, he thinks he's funny"

Ganthet herds them to a table, a bottle of orange soda in the center "Welcome to our club girls. We are the power rangers fantasy force"

Diamond faints

Author's Note

Scootaloo: WHY DO YOU KEEP PUTING ME IN THESE SITUATIONS?!
Because it's funny
Scootaloo: Just go away, I need to get this birdseed out of my hair...
*please, someone get this one, I don't even live there and I know this
If anyone can tell me what refs I've made, You all have my respect, because dang it! We need more things like these!
I count 22 of them. See if you can't find them all! and remember, you need to say what they are references to!