
Letters from an Irritated Princess
Celestia writes some blunt letters to her faithful student and friends.
Letters. Everyone writes them, and they're not just for ponies. Be they carriers of serious news, friendly correspondence between pen pals, or declarations of heart and heartbreak, each one is written with a clear purpose or goal in mind.
Celestia uses them to try and keep her faithful student and friends in line, and try to keep an unbalanced world on the straight and narrow.
This is much harder than it sounds.
~~~
Now with an audio reading by Lady Tenkage!
Side Stories:
Old-Fashioned Bar Hoppers, featuring Celestia, Mayor Mare, and Granny Smith shenanigans.
Journal of an Adolescent Clone, featuring Sunny and Moony shenanigans since Season 5.




147902 words: Estimated about 12 hours to read
246 Chapters:
- Friendship is Freedom, Part 1 2015-01-24 09:10:52 UTC265
- Friendship is Freedom, Part 2 2015-01-24 09:12:48 UTC331
- Master of Tickets, Part 1 2015-01-24 09:14:59 UTC295
- Master of Tickets, Part 2 2015-01-24 09:18:19 UTC343
- Bucking Apples 2015-01-25 21:31:23 UTC218
- Brushing Off Bad Lessons 2015-01-26 22:07:51 UTC
- Boasting is Bad, Buster 2015-01-27 18:25:10 UTC243
- Dragons aren't Shy, Part 1 2015-01-28 18:37:36 UTC254
- Dragons aren't Shy, Part 2 2015-01-28 18:39:48 UTC272
- Just Go To Sleep 2015-01-29 20:32:12 UTC217
- Bridle Curiosity, Bad Gossip 2015-01-30 18:45:11 UTC381
- A Century of Swarms, Part 1 2015-01-31 20:12:57 UTC295
- A Century of Swarms, Part 2 2015-01-31 20:13:53 UTC412
- Unwrapping Winter 2015-02-01 19:01:13 UTC447
- Calling All Cuties 2015-02-02 18:58:25 UTC315
- Friends Don't Leave Leaves Behind 2015-02-03 19:41:51 UTC388
- Success Suits: When Failure is Not an Option 2015-02-09 18:33:13 UTC274
- Pinkie's Feeling Keen Tonight 2015-02-04 22:05:45 UTC319
- Rainbooms and You: A Cautionary Tale 2015-02-05 22:20:51 UTC380
- Show-stopping Words of Wisdom 2015-02-06 20:06:23 UTC291
- The Best Laid Plans of Dogs and Ponies... 2015-02-07 20:25:05 UTC441
- Green is Somepony's Color, Just Not Yours 2015-02-08 17:12:41 UTC320
- Turning Over a New Barrel 2015-02-10 19:48:28 UTC441
- A Bird in the Hoof... 2015-02-11 20:35:13 UTC368
- ...is Worth Two in a Burning Bush 2015-02-11 20:35:23 UTC469
- Cheesy Muenster Chronicles 2015-02-12 22:23:33 UTC431
- Owls are Nocturnal, Baby Dragons are Not 2015-02-14 00:15:16 UTC427
- Celestia, Party of Two 2015-02-15 00:05:38 UTC547
- The Best Worst Night Ever 2015-02-16 00:45:23 UTC611
- Bonus: A Short Apology for a Small Problem 2015-02-17 00:48:21 UTC503
- Return Postage on Harmony, Part 1 2015-02-18 01:36:45 UTC418
- Return Postage on Harmony, Part 2 2015-02-19 02:01:04 UTC615
- Lesson Absolute Zero 2015-02-20 02:31:28 UTC635
- Eclipsing Lunacy 2015-02-21 03:10:25 UTC571
- Social Sisters Aren't Rare, You See 2015-02-21 17:15:59 UTC501
- Cuties Contract Poxes, Viral or Otherwise 2015-02-22 17:51:07 UTC483
- The Best Pet is Subjective. Also, Phoenix is Best Pet. 2015-02-23 18:40:52 UTC495
- Mare-Do-Well at Large 2015-02-24 18:09:15 UTC407
- Don't Trash My Elite Suite, Part 1 2015-02-25 18:20:45 UTC499
- Don't Trash My Elite Suite, Part 2 2015-02-25 18:20:58 UTC328
- Don't Trash My Elite Suite, Part 3 2015-02-25 18:21:08 UTC611
- Your Excess is Not a Secret 2015-02-26 17:35:15 UTC505
- Warm Up Your Hearth 2015-02-27 17:32:41 UTC423
- Friend Appreciation Day 2015-02-28 18:07:01 UTC556
- Cake is Not a Baby Staple Food 2015-03-01 17:52:54 UTC415
- Round Up From Last 2015-03-02 18:27:50 UTC427
- The Super Seedy Cider Squeezy 9001 2015-03-03 19:57:24 UTC487
- No Weeping Over Reading, Rainbow 2015-03-05 17:40:40 UTC464
- Broken Hearts and Hooves 2015-03-07 00:30:58 UTC518
- Pinkie Always Needs Friends 2015-03-08 16:37:48 UTC513
- Celestia Puts Her Hoof Down 2015-03-10 16:54:39 UTC438
- It's Not Time I'm Worried About 2015-03-12 17:11:47 UTC399
- Questing for Dragons? Again?! 2015-03-14 16:59:36 UTC496
- Bonus: Burnt Notice 2015-03-15 17:07:39 UTC338
- Hurricane Celestia 2015-03-16 18:51:05 UTC423
- Eating Cake Shouldn't be Confidential 2015-03-17 17:29:42 UTC475
- Express Delivery for a MMMasterful Treat 2015-03-19 16:37:52 UTC516
- I'm Never Hosting Weddings Again, Part 1 2015-03-20 17:30:50 UTC436
- I'm Never Hosting Weddings Again, Part 2 2015-03-21 17:12:05 UTC920
- The Crystal Empire Strikes Back, Part 1 2015-03-22 16:46:47 UTC515
- The Crystal Empire Strikes Back, Part 2 2015-03-23 18:48:48 UTC550
- How Many Pinkies Does It Take to Screw with a Princess? 2015-03-25 18:04:39 UTC431
- The Good Seed, the Bad Apple, and the Ugly Fertilizer 2015-03-26 16:43:32 UTC626
- Not Another Magic Duel 2015-03-27 18:10:14 UTC512
- Sleepless Nights and Daydream Delights 2015-03-28 18:15:49 UTC486
- Wonderbolt Powers, Activate! 2015-03-29 21:06:11 UTC418
- What Kind of Family Reunion Only Serves Apples? 2015-03-30 22:04:43 UTC478
- Spike's Eternal Service Really is Eternal 2015-04-01 18:12:45 UTC482
- Keeping Calm is Difficult Around Discord 2015-04-02 20:12:45 UTC464
- Petsitting: It's Not Just for Ponies 2015-04-04 00:50:34 UTC436
- Blame Games Ponies Play 2015-04-04 18:36:50 UTC428
- This Magical Cure Isn't a Mystery to Me 2015-04-05 18:46:36 UTC454
- Equestria is for Everyone, Boys and Girls 2015-04-07 19:45:26 UTC669
- Princess Luna's Big Day! Oh, and Twilight Too, Part 1 2015-04-08 23:36:19 UTC501
- Princess Luna's Big Day! Oh, and Twilight Too, Part 2 2015-04-09 19:01:57 UTC375
- Castle Mane-ia: Organ Donors Wanted! 2015-04-11 17:39:00 UTC546
- Don't You Dare Do What You're Daring to Do 2015-04-13 21:01:02 UTC564
- Nothing Takes Flight In Here 2015-04-15 17:10:18 UTC452
- Powering Through Peeping Ponies 2015-04-17 17:22:19 UTC486
- Bats, Rats, and Empty Vats! 2015-04-19 18:53:49 UTC589
- Rarity Takes Everything In Manehatten, Even the Carpet and Drapes 2015-04-21 18:47:31 UTC489
- Bonus Letter: Dear Discord... 2015-04-23 16:53:56 UTC563
- Apple Pie for the Pink Lady 2015-04-25 19:00:42 UTC587
- Rainbow's Not the Only One Who's Fallen and Can't Get Up 2015-04-27 17:14:23 UTC499
- It Only Takes One Sick Person to Infect a Crowd 2015-04-29 17:22:30 UTC486
- Pinkie Swallows Her Pride 2015-05-01 16:51:31 UTC438
- Simple Ways to Deal with Trendsetters 2015-05-03 17:21:43 UTC453
- Vanilla Filling, a Little Enjoyable Thing 2015-05-05 17:19:56 UTC446
- Twilight's Time in the Spotlight 2015-05-07 19:34:47 UTC568
- It Ain't Breezy if Luna's Not Shouting 2015-05-09 18:17:01 UTC659
- Wanted: Somepony to Watch Over Two Dragons. Bring Your Own Fire Extinguisher. 2015-05-11 17:20:20 UTC698
- Maud Pies: They're Better Than Eating Dirt 2015-05-13 17:50:11 UTC560
- Sweetie, the Bell Tolls for You 2015-05-15 16:59:41 UTC666
- A Leap of Faith Better be On Good Faith 2015-05-17 17:28:34 UTC556
- These Wonderbolts are Testing My Patience in 3, 2, 1... 2015-05-19 17:29:05 UTC642
- I'll Trade Ya For Some Bits of Common Sense 2015-05-21 20:33:11 UTC651
- Inspiration Manifestation, Classification: Beautification 2015-05-23 16:03:31 UTC718
- Why Princesses Can't Join in Any Equestria Games 2015-05-25 16:28:45 UTC696
- Everything the Light Touches... 2015-05-27 17:23:29 UTC523
- ...is Our Kingdom, Twilight 2015-05-29 14:51:35 UTC452
- Letter from a Former Student of an Irritated Princess 2015-05-31 21:02:36 UTC694
- We Will Rainbow Rock You 2015-06-02 17:27:54 UTC541
- That Cutie Map Took My Job! Well, One of Them, but Still! 2015-06-04 17:06:27 UTC501
- Enjoy Your Sweet Castle, Twilight 2015-06-06 21:21:04 UTC590
- Dream Not of Doom, Apple Bloom 2015-06-08 17:30:25 UTC689
- Tanks for Nothing, Rainbow Dash 2015-06-10 18:10:17 UTC737
- Most Wanted: Loose Apples, Raw and Unbarreled 2015-06-12 18:46:09 UTC537
- Discord Makes Friends, Keeps Enemies Closer 2015-06-15 20:35:47 UTC558
- Griffons Treasure Their Precious Stones 2015-06-17 20:26:36 UTC547
- One Slice of Life to Go, Please! I'm Late for a Very Important Date! 2015-06-19 18:41:22 UTC433
- Spike, You are Not Ready to be a Princess. Not Yet. 2015-06-22 19:11:24 UTC796
- Bonus: Summit in the Valley 2015-06-24 18:28:20 UTC553
- Super Duper Party Pooper Scooper 2015-06-29 18:15:51 UTC635
- How to Play: Yak-Attack 2015-07-01 16:58:25 UTC724
- Amending a Key Problem, Fencing In Another 2015-07-06 18:49:16 UTC407
- Princesses Don't Dream of Sheep. That's Offensive. 2015-07-13 18:11:09 UTC502
- Bonus: Addressing Past and Present Sins, to Prepare for the Future 2015-07-15 19:15:39 UTC516
- New Canterlot Boutique Chic! Dress to Impress and Find Success! 2015-09-13 18:10:26 UTC658
- Investigating for Dummies, Rare Edition 2015-09-21 21:09:17 UTC924
- Bought in Manehatten, Made in Phillydelphia, Shipped to Canterlot 2015-09-28 17:45:51 UTC668
- Brothers Can be Social Butterflies Too 2015-10-05 18:40:35 UTC639
- It's About Time Those Lost Crusaders Made Their Mark 2015-10-12 19:32:59 UTC666
- Bonus: Fundraising Funding Should be Fun, as Should Playing With the Sun 2015-10-16 18:02:17 UTC1145
- The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows I Know Because Mayor Mare Knows I Know Pinkie Pie Knows, You Know? 2015-10-19 17:04:49 UTC421
- Hearthbreaking Moments Aren't Always Set in Stone 2015-10-26 18:11:56 UTC444
- Think Like the Master, Scare the Master, Become the Master 2015-11-01 19:57:55 UTC548
- Discord? What ABOUT Discord? 2015-11-10 20:05:02 UTC543
- McColt Fires One Out to Left Hooffield, and It's Going, Going... Gone! 2015-11-16 18:19:09 UTC508
- Attractive Manes Alone Don't Make the Mare, But They Never Hurt to Have 2015-11-23 20:07:04 UTC743
- Somber Remarks from a Gloomy Commander 2015-11-30 20:52:19 UTC369
- Cocooned Requests from a Pupaic Prisoner 2015-12-02 21:05:24 UTC414
- Moonlit Musings of a Midnight Monarch 2015-12-04 22:11:47 UTC602
- Bonus: Once in a Blue Moon, the Moon Talks Back 2015-12-06 22:32:42 UTC615
- Dubious Diction from a Royal Jester 2015-12-08 22:23:28 UTC403
- Woes of a Tyrant's Target... and Probably the Tyrant Too 2015-12-10 23:40:31 UTC787
- Suggestions from an Aggravated Factory Worker 2015-12-13 22:11:17 UTC696
- Logs of a Starship Captain 2015-12-16 20:39:34 UTC574
- Re: Cutie Marks and New Friendship Student 2015-12-19 20:40:25 UTC573
- Bonus: The Cult of Smiles and Sunshine 2015-12-21 20:08:05 UTC539
- Friendship: The Game (If I have to suffer, you're going to suffer with me!) 2015-12-23 19:14:39 UTC657
- Crystalling My Frozen Bones 2016-03-28 22:04:53 UTC1104
- The Sun is Bursting with Apologies 2016-04-01 18:10:34 UTC1343
- Regifting 101: The Maud Pie Approach 2016-04-04 20:40:12 UTC1191
- On Your Marks, Get Set and... Sign Paperwork! 2016-04-12 21:08:16 UTC589
- Gauntlet Garbled Great Balls of Fire!* 2016-04-18 22:17:24 UTC790
- Bonus: A Word of Warning About Opening Floodgates 2016-04-20 21:47:32 UTC818
- Bonus Bonus (...or is it Double Bonus?): Showing Restraint After Being Restrained 2016-04-26 20:17:36 UTC728
- Prancer is Not Second. He's Third, Followed by Vixen 2016-05-02 21:15:57 UTC877
- Who's Really the Newbie: Dash, or Spitfire? 2016-05-09 21:39:22 UTC1297
- A Tail to Warm (or Chill) the Heart, Part 1 2016-05-16 21:08:43 UTC1368
- A Tail to Chill (or Warm) the Heart, Part 2 2016-05-19 22:03:46 UTC1290
- Yelp Review of Saddle Row: Three Out of Five Spoons 2016-05-23 21:09:44 UTC1780
- Bonus: Stripes is Going to See Some Stars 2016-05-25 21:28:01 UTC767
- A "Day" Off For a Princess is "Mostly" Impossible 2016-05-30 21:00:27 UTC1032
- Bonus: Dear Applejack 2016-06-01 22:03:51 UTC646
- Flutter, I Can't Believe That's Your Brutter 2016-06-07 20:38:40 UTC851
- Allspice Doesn't Spice Up All the Things in Life 2016-06-13 21:28:06 UTC761
- Princess Celestia Has Dyed, Part 1 2016-07-09 19:59:43 UTC326
- Princess Celestia Has Dyed, Part 2 2016-07-12 20:53:15 UTC696
- Princess Celestia Has Dyed, Part 3 2016-07-18 20:24:40 UTC577
- Princess Celestia Has Dyed, Part 4 2016-07-20 21:51:17 UTC555
- Princess Celestia Has Dye—er, Shaved? Final Part 2016-07-22 21:57:51 UTC365
- Sometimes, Reality IS Stranger Than Fanfiction 2016-08-01 21:23:29 UTC799
- Put the Cart Before the Pony if the Pony Rides the Cart 2016-08-08 21:39:55 UTC605
- Bonus: Assessing a Flying Cart's Collateral Damage 2016-08-11 22:04:53 UTC420
- I'll Be Reading These Scrolls Four Weeks Later 2016-08-15 21:16:52 UTC766
- The Times Have Already Changed! Get With the Program. 2016-08-22 22:40:54 UTC753
- Sleepovers and Scaredy-cats 2016-08-30 21:37:55 UTC627
- Bonus: I'm Not OK With K. K., K? 2016-09-01 20:14:35 UTC429
- Grab Your Cider, It's Applebuckball Season! 2016-09-05 20:50:38 UTC617
- Bonus: Pulling Victory From The Jaws of Defeat. Oh, and Pulling Muscles 2016-09-07 22:37:31 UTC577
- The Fault In Our Lack of Earplugs 2016-09-12 20:18:39 UTC490
- Viva Con Cages, Viva Lost Wages 2016-09-19 20:01:08 UTC646
- Every Little Thing She Does Adds Up to a Big Thing Over Time 2016-09-26 18:53:49 UTC708
- Legends are Never Free From Scrutiny, Part 1 2016-10-03 21:34:39 UTC643
- P.P.O.V: E.I.E.I.O. 2016-10-04 21:34:24 UTC709
- Legends are Never Free From Scrutiny, Part 2 2016-10-07 23:28:15 UTC622
- The Apple Family Lies. What Else is New? 2016-10-10 21:27:20 UTC569
- Just Because You're Top Bolt Doesn't Mean You Left Rock Bottom 2016-10-18 18:59:15 UTC752
- Go Over There and Never Come Back Again, Part 1 2016-10-24 18:44:40 UTC649
- Go There and Never Come Back Again, Part 2 2016-10-26 21:39:02 UTC713
- One Name Too Far, Part 1 2017-01-13 21:31:07 UTC483
- One Name Too Far, Part 2 2017-01-15 22:12:59 UTC332
- One Name Too Far, Part 3 2017-01-17 21:59:42 UTC613
- Dragon Mail Tech Support, This is Ember. How May I Help You? 2017-02-06 20:36:55 UTC463
- Your Letter is Very Important to Us. Please, Stay On the Written Line. 2017-02-08 22:15:33 UTC611
- A Song of Chill and Fever 2017-04-09 21:05:58 UTC394
- My Celestial Advice Fell on Deaf Ears Until Today 2017-04-17 19:09:13 UTC625
- The Only Things You Should Bottle Up are Ships and Food 2017-04-19 19:20:05 UTC525
- Bonus: Why Shooting Straight Doesn't Beat a Royal Flush 2017-04-20 19:28:23 UTC782
- Flurry's Emotions are Uplifting in More Ways Than One 2017-04-24 19:38:47 UTC1000
- Bonus: The Arts and Crafts of War 2017-04-26 19:29:57 UTC822
- A Rock Solid Friendship Still Needs a Firm Foundation 2017-05-01 19:11:05 UTC788
- Bonus: Spur of the Moment Spurred Me To Action, Part 1 2017-05-03 19:04:44 UTC293
- Bonus: Spur of the Moment Spurred Me To Action, Part 2 2017-05-05 18:44:35 UTC613
- Bonus: Spur of the Moment Spurred Me To Action, Part 3 2017-05-07 20:14:21 UTC441
- Fluttershy Leans In On Her Dream Way Too Late 2017-05-08 18:36:57 UTC674
- Forever Filled With Good Grief 2017-05-15 19:35:18 UTC633
- Parental Glideance Might Not be Best After the Bird Has Left the Nest 2017-05-20 19:27:24 UTC750
- It's Hard to Say Anything About Where the Crusaders are... 2017-05-27 20:19:57 UTC402
- ...But It's Not Hard to Say Anything About Who was With Them 2017-05-29 19:41:01 UTC535
- Bonus: When It's Hard to Say Anything, Just Say Everything! 2017-05-31 18:38:34 UTC721
- If I'm Honest, I Had an Apple Naming Relapse 2017-06-06 00:12:57 UTC1476
- Bonus: Ponies Jamming Up Over a Feud Puts Me in a Jam 2017-06-10 06:24:04 UTC757
- The Real Royal Problem is Not in This Castle 2017-06-11 19:49:25 UTC918
- Sometimes You're Not Looking For Trouble... 2017-06-19 19:51:24 UTC599
- ...Yet Trouble is Asking For You 2017-06-22 19:35:50 UTC653
- Singing Tea Bags Have a Certain Discordant Harmony to Them 2017-07-17 18:36:09 UTC442
- Talking About the Perfect Pear Can Appearantly be Too Much to Bear 2017-07-24 19:26:41 UTC370
- Dance Dance Revolution: Magic Mix 2017-07-31 19:08:08 UTC396
- You Can't Make Movie Magic Without Cracking a Few Critics 2017-08-08 18:43:47 UTC484
- Magic Items Tend to be Monstrous. Mirrors are Beastly, for Example 2017-08-12 18:42:21 UTC158
- The Price of Fame is Often Misfortune. Just Ask Your Local Paparazzi. 2017-08-14 19:36:51 UTC633
- Triple Threat? No Thanks, Just One is Enough 2017-08-21 18:33:59 UTC591
- Too Many Questions Spoil Campfire Tales 2017-08-31 16:59:40 UTC2575
- To Change a Changeling, Start With Their Attitude 2017-09-06 19:02:16 UTC382
- Daring Shrubbery Design is Done, Panned by Ponyville Paper 2017-09-12 19:41:38 UTC315
- The Mane Thing About Your Collateral Damage is Pretty Hair-Raising 2017-09-18 18:33:08 UTC541
- One Can Learn a Health of Information in Three Days if They Try 2017-09-26 18:58:34 UTC622
- Finding Cutie Marks Through Recreational Fun Seems Like a Good Idea 2017-10-03 19:18:44 UTC163
- Once Upon a Cautionary Tale of Terms of Service 2017-10-10 16:51:26 UTC925
- How Silly of a Secret is Disliking Pies? 2017-10-17 16:52:51 UTC980
- It's Not Uncommon to Bond With Other Friends... So Long as You're Not Ignoring a Friend to Do It 2017-10-23 17:32:53 UTC612
- There Are No Strings When You Play With Shadows, Part 1 2017-11-02 20:03:36 UTC1200
- There Are No Strings When You Play With Shadows, Part 2 2017-11-17 19:16:16 UTC1121
- My Little Pony: The Movie, feat. Fishy Clams, Clammy Fish Birds, and a Crotch-Grabbing Fish-man 2018-01-05 18:05:49 UTC822
- I Haven’t Forgotten the Friendship With ‘Myself’, Part 1 2018-02-27 20:58:44 UTC610
- I Haven’t Forgotten the Friendship With ‘Myself’, Part 2 2018-03-06 19:48:28 UTC1666
- The FUNdamentals of Magic, as Taught by a Substitute Teacher 2018-03-24 22:35:51 UTC976
- Dazed and Confused Over a New School, Part 1 2018-03-27 19:39:07 UTC757
- Dazed and Confused Over a New School, Part 2 2018-04-01 06:03:48 UTC522
- PSA: Magical Pranks and Who to Blame For Them 2018-04-01 19:38:21 UTC290
- Technically, Creatures in Close Relations or in Love are More of a Couple Than Those in Like 2018-04-03 18:47:30 UTC781
- If You Can’t Fake It, Make It Rain Mock Compliments 2018-04-09 19:09:30 UTC602
- Cranky Flank Gals 9: The Wild and Crazy Grannies 2018-04-16 18:12:01 UTC640
- Raising Turf to Train-Surf 2018-04-24 00:57:28 UTC1007
- When a Princess is Away, Her Horse Surrogate Will Play 2018-04-30 18:09:42 UTC553
- The Cutie Map’s Parent Trap 2018-05-06 19:12:26 UTC626
- Non-Repeat Clause 2018-05-15 18:01:24 UTC663
- I Need a Break From These Ups and Downs 2018-05-22 18:33:55 UTC627
- Having a Molt Down Over a Breakout 2018-05-28 22:45:46 UTC551
- Maximum Effort Toward the Wrong Goal Gets No Marks 2018-06-04 18:43:55 UTC784
- The Mean Six Plus The Terrible Two Equals... 2018-06-11 18:33:42 UTC1263
- Introduction to Evil 101: P is for Planning 2018-07-04 18:16:19 UTC857
- I’d Rather Be Deaf Than Listen to Pinkie’s Yakity-Sax 2018-07-23 20:48:07 UTC647
- A Principle’s Principals Don’t Matter to Angry Parents or Guardians 2018-08-05 19:20:37 UTC682