Fluttershy was in a state of panic, this morning when she woke up she saw Anon's face was covered in dried, crusty blood and his face was tinted red. She had never seen such a thing as serious as this, and she was honestly afraid Anon was dead! "Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Oh Anon, please don't be dead. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Oh my goo-"

"Mnh... N-no, can't breath... sweater... No... B-Baka!... zzzzzzzzz,"

'Gasp!' Anon! Oh thank goodness your alright, I thought you went to that great big Human Forest in the sky!... Um, Anon?"

"zzzzz N-No pickles please, thank you... zzzzzzz." Anon mumbled.

"Anon? Are you still asleep?"

"Mnh... I didn't do it!... zzzzzzzz." Anon, still fast asleep, sat up and walked out of his bed. Somehow, Anon walked flawlessly down the stairs and into the kitchen without tripping or falling on his face. He put on an apron and a chef hat and grabbed a frying pan and spatula, then he got a marker and drew a perfect french mustache on his upper lip.

Fluttershy was hopelessly confused on how Anon traveled all the way downstairs and into the kitchen unscathed, I mean even she tripped down the stairs every once in a while (because of a certain loose board that she keeps 'forgetting' to get somepony to fix, mind you... yes the joke here is she's shy, I thought the series established this already) yet Anon can literally do it in his sleep. Which is another thing that deepens her confusion, why the hell was Anon sleep walking to begin with?... Also, what was that heavenly smell? "Oh my... T-that smell, what is-..."

Heaven.

That is the only word she could use to describe what was presented in front of her, as all sorts of French desserts from Anon's home world were on display. There were croissants filled with jelly, macarons of various colors and flavors, even the exotic fruit-laced pancake called Flaugnarde that was almost too good to resist for Fluttershy. But then, as if it couldn't get any better, there was the 'coup de grace'... a mousse cake, sweet yet simple mango breading with liquid chocolate dripping from the top, a small whipped-cream tip and a cherry on top. But said mousse cake was floating in a large bowl of melted milk chocolate like a delicate feather drifting in a bird bath, "The Floating Island" as it was called pulled everything together, like a tall tower amongst a massive utopia but with sweets. Rarity would have been a very proud pony and Celestia probably would've awesome-gasmed all over Fluttershy's nice; clean floor, thought up an excuse to get her hoofy mitts on such a divine metropolis of sweets, then engorge herself like the white, fluffy piggy that the rumors claim her to be.

'Knock knock!'

"zzzzz-Eh, wha?...Whoa, where the heck am I? 'sniff sniff' And what's that delightful smell?"

Anon woke up to the sound of knocking on the front door, so he went to open said door... After he opened the door he slowly closed it back and left without saying another word, now when you think of it one would probably do the same upon meeting THE ENTIRE FRIGGIN' TOWN ON FLUTTERSHY'S DOORSTEP! I am not joking, it looked like the entire populous of Ponyville had gathered themselves on Fluttershy's property and Anon was afraid they were after him! Until he noticed the five star french cuisine on Fluttershy's table.

"So that's what this is about,-" Anon proclaimed to himself, while sneaking a few of those croissants into his shirt pocket. "-they must've been after Fluttershy's cooking!"

Anon, still unaware of the dried blood and graffiti mustache on his face, raised a fist into the air. "Well if Flutter-butt worked so hard to make such art than by god I'll guard it with all my might!"

Anon looked over to Fluttershy as she held a croissant to her face, and then took a bite.

'pomf'

Fluttershy dropped the treat on the ground and her wings shot up from her back, then her eyes slowly dilated and her mouth hung open a little with a bit of drool coming out. To Anon's honesty it looked like someone injected her with a little Ecstasy and as much as he hated to admit it was quite humorous. Fluttershy then fell to the ground as stiff as a board, a small puddle started to form around her flanks as she laid there like a statue. "I... I came..."

"Gross, but for some reason flattering."

"Um, Anon? You do realize your the one that made this right?"

"Nightmare, your joking..." Anon received silence from Nightmare's end. "...Wait, your actually serious?"

"As serious as the moon is white, it seems you tend to sleep-bake." Anon chuckled to himself a bit, the fact that he sleep-bakes actually seemed believable to him.

"Probably thanks to you Miss Chases-Anon-around-to-try-and-suffocate-him-with-warm-and-fluffy-F-cup-death-cuttles." Anon could hear Nightmare Moon give an annoyed huff, Nightmare then retorted in a whiny voice.

"But my pony anatomy requires hugs to live!"

"I'd sooner believe Princess Celestia went on a hump-happy rape spree than you requiring hugs to gain nourishment. I mean really, who do you take me for?"

"Regardless of whether you believe me or not I WILL get cuttles, by force if I have to!"

"Actions speak louder than words, Nightmare. So, you gonna act or-"

"ANON!"

"Who, where?!... Oh, hey Twilight, what's up?"

"Anon, are you feeling alright? You've been staring off into space for a few minutes now, also what's up with Fluttershy?" Anon nodded while staring off into space.

"Yeah, good to see you to Twilight... Hey, do ponies require hugs for nourishment?"

"Um, unless it's Pinkie Pie I don't think so. Why do you ask?"

"Not important, say could you do a little taste test for me?"

Before Twilight could respond Anon stuffed one of his croissants down her gullet, after swallowing the treat her eyes dilated and she fell to the floor like Fluttershy did, even her flanks were forming their own little puddle to stain Fluttershy's floor. Anon said nothing and walked out the door, maneuvering his legs to step over the ponies gathered outside so he didn't trip on one. Once over the crowd he grabbed a blank sign from the convenient pile of blank signs that were just out in the open for no reason, then took out his self-defense switchblade knife and carved letters into the sign. After looking over his handiwork he stabbed it into the ground and drove it in further with his foot, when the crowd read the sign there were many groans.

Anon's Sweets Shop, we guarantee a little magic in every bite! 15$ a pop.

Next order of business, Anon grabbed a small filly from the crowd. "What's yer name, kid?"

"I'm Sweetie Belle!"

"Enthusiasm, I like that. You wanna make a quick bit?"

"Okay Mr. Monkey, I do like bits," Anon took off his fedora and Placed Sweetie Belle on his head, then placed the Fedora on Sweetie Belle's head which fitted her perfectly. "Sure ya do Sweets. Now pay attention, ya might learn somethin',-" Anon walked over and placed her down in front of Fluttershy's house, then brought over a bucket. "-Alright Sweets, this job's simple. Don't let anypony in less they pay the entrance fee, fifteen bits a pop, no exceptions. If somepony starts causin' trouble don't be afraid to tell my... associate here." Angel Bunny hopped from behind Anon's leg with a Carrot hanging from his mouth like a cigar, he casually leaned onto the wall beside Sweetie Belle sporting a stone-cold glare. In all honesty Anon had no idea who this white bunny was, he just said that last part to sound badass but apparently he had some dumb luck to spare! "You got all that, Sweets?"

"Gotcha, Boss!" Sweetie Belle saluted. Anon chuckled and patted her head. "There's a good little trooper, I'll be back later."

"Anon sweetie? You do know child abuse is illegal here, and that includes child labor." Nightmare said in a sweet sarcastic tone, to which Anon retorted in an equally sarcastic tone.

"Now pumpkin, it's not child labor if they're willing to work for payment, besides you said I needed to get my own place right?"

"Well can you at least tell me why you gained a Neigh York accent?"

"Ask me dat again, doll face," Nightmare raised a brow in confusion, but asked again to see what would happen.

"Okay, why are you speaking in a-"

"Fugetaboutit! Ahahaha, oh man, you got no idea how long that was on reserves!"

Nightmare rolled her eyes as Anon continued walking, sure Anon was an idiot but a charming idiot, like a jester or a good comedian. She'd rather laugh at his self-inflicted pain than inflict pain on him, which Lady Luck does from time to time. Nightmare Moon was taken away from her train of thought by Anon when he jerked to the side all of a sudden. "Holy shit, that was a close one."

"Anon, what happened?"

"Some ass-wipe just tried to assassinate me with an arrow!" Anon thankfully had the combat experience to successfully dodge the arrow, experience he gained trying to survive in his old neighborhood back on Earth. Anon noticed the note wrapped around the base and read it aloud. "Go to the town cake shop if your looking for money, P. Sounds like I got me a job!"

"Someone tries to kill you and your first instinct is to take up their job offer?"

"Oh, sweet clueless Nightmare. You obviously don't know the power of human curiosity, nor the power of a bored human. Besides, do you have something better in mind?"

"Well... fine. Just don't get yourself killed, I swear if you leave me here by myself I'll make sure you learn what true terror is!"

"Yeah yeah, 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn', I had two older sisters that I had to put up with when I was a kid and one of them became a professional kick-boxer. Now let me ask you, do you think a lone pony is gonna make me go belly-up?"

Nightmare Moon went quiet for a moment, then spoke up. "Just... Just be careful Anon, I don't wanna be alone... Not again."

"Ehehe, like I said you big baby, I ain't going anywhere." Anon started his walk again after comforting Nightmare. Unknown to Anon however, Nightmare gave a genuine smile, something she only experienced once every blue moon. Anon eventually made it to Ponyville and eyed a building that reminded him of cake, so he went inside and was met with darkness. Within the darkness, a dark yet girly voice spoke to Anon.

"You come alone, human?"

"Who are you, and why did you try to kill me!?"

"Not important, now are you the one who made those sweets at Fluttershy's house?"

"Maybe I am, what's it to ya?"

The lights clicked on and Anon was tackled by something very pink and very affectionate. "Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie the greatest most super-duperest party pony in all of Ponyville!" Anon was able to rip her off his face and hold her up by her loose neck-skin, Anon immediately recognized the assailant.

"Hey, your that fruit-cake that I met at the hospital!"

"That's right Monkey-man! So I assume you got my letter?"

"Yeah, I got a REAL good look at it as I narrowly avoided having it lodged into my skull." Anon said.

Pinkie rubbed the back of her head and a sweat drop appeared on the side of her head. "Ehehehe, yeah sorry about that. The tip had a plunger head so it would stick to you but it flung off when I fired it."

Anon face-palmed and dropped her onto the ground. "You know what? Forget it, just tell me how much I'm being paid."

"Will you work for minimum wage, Anny?" Anon took out one of his croissants and stuffed it down her pie-hole... no not THAT pie-hole you silly pervert, I'm talking about her mouth. Anyway, after she ate it her eyes dilated and her mouth hung open slightly with a spot of drool dripping from her lower lip. After a moment of silence her tail lifted up and (I shit thee not) a burst of multicolored confetti shot out from what Anon assumed to be her privates which was accompanied by the sound of either a party horn or a kazoo, Anon couldn't tell but it was like a 'squeaking' sound mixed with a horn. Whatever the sound was it made Anon internally chuckle a little. Pinkie's limbs turned to jelly and she fell to her side, followed by her flanks making a small puddle on the floor.

"So confetti-butt, what were you saying about my immediate raise in pay?" Pinkie simply moaned some incoherent babble, Anon took out another croissant and placed it next to her. "I'll take that as a yes, see ya next week Fruit-cake!"

Anon walked out of his new work place with a little bounce to his step, for once things finally went his way! "Well Nightmare, looks like it's our lucky day! Now that I got a well-paying job to go with the bits that Sweets is racking up for me I bet things are smooth sailing from here!"

"It's about time as well, I was honestly starting to think that fate just plain hated you."

"Well every dog has his day Nightmare, and this day belongs to Anon!"

Eventually Anon made it back to Fluttershy's home, and once he made it to the vicinity he was assaulted by the scent of raw fish and shame. Anon didn't care about the musky scent, because the sight of Sweetie Belle with all the cash that she made nearly made his heart stop. The bucket was overfilled, forming a small mountain of bits that shimmered like priceless gems. Sweetie Belle trotted over with a clothes pin on her snout, saluting to Anon. "Mission accomplished boss, with no difficulties or issues!"

Anon took back his Fedora and patted her head. "Ehehe, nice work Sweets," Anon grabbed a bag and filled it with the bits that were overflowing from the bucket, this was roughly a third of the total but it still fattened up the bag quite nicely. Anon dropped the bag of bits in front of Sweetie Belle. "-there's your cut o' the doe, now go buy yourself somethin' nice." Sweetie Belle thanked Anon and took her bag of money, wandering to lord knows where. Anon took his pot o' gold and went inside Fluttershy's house, carefully stepping over all the snoozing ponies. He dumped his money in a small chest that Fluttershy let him borrow, she kept it in her room so no one would go snooping through his stuff and since Fluttershy was the most trustworthy pony on the planet he knew she wouldn't go through his stuff without permission. Anon locked it up and put the key in his shoe, but not before grabbing a handful of bits since he was going back to town for a little fun.

"Ehehe, I think Anon deserves a reward." Anon left the house with a pocket full of coins, as he walked toward Ponyville he started flipping a coin er-... bit with a satisfied smile. "Yeah... ol' Anon's getting tanked, tonight." Anon went to Ponyville and got really drunk at a bar, he didn't remember anything that happened throughout the night but when he passed out he slept like a baby, and if one thing was certain it was that Anon never noticed his blood covered face or sharpie-stache the entire day... and no one cared.

Author's Note

Alright, that's another chapter down. Sorry this one took so long, had a nasty case of Writer's Block. Well I hope this chapter will make-up for my short delay, also I regret nothing I've done here. Goodnight and remember to tip your waitress!