Hail Science

I was awoken, rather unpleasantly might I add, by the clanging of pots and pans in the kitchen. It's not a nice sound to be your wake-up call, especially when you only got two hours of fucking sleep due to girlish giggles and the obnoxious pillow fight being valiantly fought. Once the fight and giggles died down, I could hear some very...unsettling noises... Ones unsettling enough for me to not get up and bitch them out about it...

I sat up in my bed and groaned. I was not ready for this shit. I was half-asleep and pissed-off, not the mood you want to be in when you have to deal with six annoying ponies...

So I decided to take a shower, the place where everyone's mind is as clear as day.

After getting into the warm embrace of my shower, I covered my face in my hands and sat in the corner. I remained like this for some time; part of me refusing to believe I had to watch six ponies while trying to fix my Universal Leaping Machine, which I had no idea the damage done to it. For all I know, the portal's very core had been shattered trying to transport six equines into my world. That would be the end of my hopes of fixing it, since there was no way I was getting my hands on something like that again. Not without professional assistance and I didn't have the way for that again.

So, I prayed that it was an easy fix and this rowdy group can be out of here by tomorrow. Though, knowing my tremendous luck, I was stuck with these gals for another month or year or even a lifetime.

My eyes began to droop as I sat in the corner of the shower, making me realize how soothing the sound of flowing water and the bathroom fan mixed together was. The noise from my kitchen was being drowned out and I was in complete bliss. I gave into the sweet loving grasp of sleep, and laid my head back against my hand towel.

***

Once again, I awoke in an unpleasant state. The heat of my shower seemed to flown south for the winter, bringing me to Arctic Circle while doing so. I leaped up and nearly smashed the door to my shower trying to not be turned into an ice Popsicle. Unfortunately for me, outside was no different. Getting out of that shower was just another ring of Hell, because I was hurled back into Antarctica.

This is how I die. Naked, afraid, and freezing my ass off in my bathroom only to be found my six curious ponies wondering where I'd gone.

Of course, I loved being over-dramatic.

I grabbed my towel and wrapped myself in it, huddling myself into the fetal position to conserve body heat. My day was already off to a splendid start.

Then, thanks to the blessing of God, the bathroom door fucking opened, revealing a rainbow-maned pegasus. Her eyes grew wide as she saw me sitting on the ground; her expression soon followed by the face of one hiding laughter. Eventually, she couldn't hold it in, collapsing onto the ground as she laughed at my misery.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" I finally managed to yell, regaining my wits. Rainbow tried answering through her laughter, but kept breaking into a new fit whenever she glanced at me. I just thanked God I had a towel...

"I-I ca-came to-" she tried explaining, managing to get a few comprehensible words out.

"Get the hell out! You don't enter a bathroom while somebody's in here! Holy shit..." I was trying to think of some sort of insult, but I couldn't since my brain was frozen solid. After another 10 seconds of gut-busting laughter, she finally stumbled up onto her hooves and trotted away, snickering the entire time as she made her way back to the kitchen. In truth, watching her trot away stirred something in me, and not something I'd like to admit.

All I knew was that now, I had no courage to get dressed and go down to the kitchen. This was my most embarrassing moment for the past 20 years, and it stung. I was supposed to be a top-notch scientist, the one who created a portal device thingy and I was being mortally embarrassed by ponies, and a rainbow one at that...

"You coming down for breakfast, deary?" Only one of them says that, and it was Rarity. At least she had enough proper manners to not barge into the bathroom with I was in the nude. I got up and began to dress, replying with the nicest answer I could muster at this point. To recap, I gotten a maximum of three hours of sleep, was nearly thrown into Ice Hell by my shower, and then I was embarrassed by a rainbow-haired flying pony.

Man, if only I had any friends left to tell this to...

I finished dressing and brushing my teeth and headed for the kitchen. I stopped to get a glimpse of their room. To my surprise, the bed was made and the floor clear of any debris. So, they cleaned up after themselves. Good. I wouldn't have to be babysitting them all day while attempting to fix my U.L.M.

I reached the door to the kitchen, resting my hand on the doorknob. I realized this would be my life until I fixed the machine, if I even could...

***

"Good morning!" they all chanted in unison as I opened the door. It was loud enough to have woken me up completely if the shower and Rainbow hadn't already done that. I nodded my head at them and did a quick sweep of the room. No pans or pots laying everywhere and no broken glasses and plates...huh...

"If yer wonderin' why ter ain't a mess, it's cuz of Twilight," Applejack explained in her southern drawl. I nodded my head slowly, my mouth conjuring up a little grin. I turned to face them.

"So you all took care of all your messes then? Good. That tells me I shouldn't have to have a constant eye on you guys," I said, slipping a smirk onto my face.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that. We're perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves. We even made you breakfast!" Twilight exclaimed, pointing a hoof at a plate of eggs and melted cheese on bread. Herbivores, I remembered. Ponies don't eat meat. I wonder how they would react if I cooked bacon...

"What're we doing today, mister?" asked Pinkie Pie, jumping up from her seat and onto the floor, trotting over to me. I hadn't really considered doing anything with them. I planned to work on the portal all day, trying to get them back home. But, I could make all this worth my while. Besides, this is one of the first times in a loooong time I've had any type of company...

"I haven't decided yet," I said, sitting down and sliding the breakfast over to me. Pinkie tilted her head and looked at me expectantly, most likely trying to figure out the options of what we could do. Admittedly, very adorable. But I could resist such cuteness attacks. I was a heartless and bitter scientist after all!

"Well, maybe we could try helping you with the machine thingy," Rainbow suggested, lazily eating her breakfast. I hadn't expected one of them to bring up the portal, but I guess they didn't want to be here and would rather be back home. Honestly, it did have a bit of a sting on me. I easily brushed it aside, telling myself that I have work to do and that valuable time can't be spent with colorful equines.

"Yeah. That's what we're going to do. We'll fix it up and get you guys home." I felt a sense of relief and...sadness. None of them objected to it, meaning that I would have tons of help fixing it, but also that they didn't want to be here... Truth be told, they were day brighteners at some points. Not all, but at some...

***

We started working on the portal, looking into it's inner workings. Twilight was the only one remotely interested in the device, while the others did the occasional pickup run for parts or tools. Fine with me, considering Twilight was the only one who seemed to have knowledge of science.

"In all honesty, I don't know what I'm doing here..." she sighed. She had a disheartened look etched on her face. Dammit, it was bringing me one step down...

"Don't worry about it. It's very complex stuff. Besides, it's nice having someone help me out." That last little phrase was supposed to stay in my mind, but it slipped out. Twilight's ears perked up a tad bit and she gave me a curious look. I began to feel my hardened cute-resistant scientist shell crack.

"Huh...Fluttershy? Can you bring us a flashlight?" Twilight asked, turning towards her winged friend. Fluttershy nodded and trotted off to look for one. I turned to give Twilight a questioning look.

"Why do we need a flashlight?" I asked. I didn't see a necessary use for one right now...

"The batteries on your electric screwdriver are running low," she answered, eyeing the control panel of the portal. Remembering how she's studied human life, she knows what batteries and electric shit is. The others most likely wouldn't.

As we waited for Fluttershy's return, Twilight began her interrogation.

"Sooooo, do you really want to rebuild the portal?" I looked up from my inspection of the outer core, which didn't look so good, to look at her. She had a strange look in her eyes...as if she wanted a specific answer, to which I had none. I did the infamous glance-around-the-room-hoping-to-buy-time-and-get-an-answer trick and I stopped at every one of the five others. They were all playing a game, while Fluttershy searched for the flashlight. (It struck me she might not know what one is) All of them looked so adorable and, and...

My outer shell snapped through the center.

"I-I don't know..." I whispered. Twilight leaned in and eyed me curiously. Her ears were being held at the most scientifically adorable angle. "What about you?" I asked her, trying to relieve some of my pressure. She glanced downwards and gave a cute little smile. Fuck.

"I-"

"Twilight! I found it!" Fluttershy interrupted, holding the flashlight in her hooves. What do ya know? She actually found it.

"Oh..." she trailed off. There was a sense of disappointment in her voice, causing me to feel a little bad. Did she not want to go back home? I don't know what she saw here. One guy who's been alone and working in his basement for the past 20 years. That's all there was to me and this house.

I glanced down at my watch. 8:30 pm. I sighed, setting down the screwdriver and other tools I was utilizing. "Time for bed!" I shouted, catching everyone's attention. The others grumbled and murmured but got up and started trotting for the stairs, but Twilight stayed behind.

"Now don't keep me up all night like you did last time!" I called after them.

"Yeah, yeah!" called the tomboyish voice of Rainbow back. I smiled a bit and look at Twilight. She was obviously tired.

"Why don't you join your friends?" I asked her. She looked up at me with a tired expression, giving me that little smile again.

"I'm not tired," she stated blandly. Mhm. Sure you're not. There's was another reason as to why she was staying here. Giving her a disbelieving look, she caved. "I want to help you finish this, since that's what you want..." she whispered, letting her ears fall down. Neh shit. She'd already dealt serious blows to my outer shell, but now she's just throwing flames onto flames.

"Ok, look. One: You need to stop that ear shit. It's way too adorable. Second: I don't if I can even fix this thing. The outer core is fucked and it's preventing me from getting to see the inner core. Third: I don't want you guys to..." I quickly stopped there, but Twilight heard. Shit in the motherfucking dick, I need to keep my mouth shut some times.

Needless to say, she did that ear thing again and she got a bit excited, but yet didn't say anything. She smiled and got up, turning to trot away. I watched her, but she then did something I would never, in a million years, forget.

She flicked her tail up, revealing something I had burned into my mind for the remainder of the night. Something that had strangely...aroused me...

Oh fuck....