Bad Stories For Bad People

You push open the small cabinet, and you pull a glass from it. One of your father’s genius ideas: Push-to-open cabinets. Your father is a good man, who tries his hardest for you. You are, however, a lost cause. You have a brother, who despite being younger, is much taller, smarter, fitter, stronger, and nicer than you are.

You walk to the fridge to get a drink. You open the door. You grab a plastic bottle, filled with crystal clear water. You sigh.

Your life is fucking miserable. You wanted to be a lot of things when you were a kid. Now, in your final year of high school, you are totally aimless. Will you even study at university? Who knows. You aren’t fit, you are far from perfect. You are too ugly for a girlfriend, and too lazy to fix that. You sigh again. Sometimes, you say you want to die, but people don’t get that you don’t just say it, you really mean it. You wouldn’t care if you died. You want, if only to make things so much easier.

You feel something stuck in your throat. You cough. You’ve had a constant throat infection since you received a retainer, to straighten your horribly misshapen teeth. Another aspect of your ugliness is your huge buck teeth. You’re like a rabbit.

You realise you ended up spilling water. You curse yourself, and get a cloth to clean it. You throw it in the sink, and walk slowly towards your study. You walk in, and sit down on your chair. Currently, the cushion is too flat, so your dad lent you a huge blue one, which is very comfy. You spent a lot of time here, possibly too much time.

You put the glass next to your keyboard. You put your Logitech headphones on, and you open Google Chrome. Google, Facebook, and Tumblr greet you on the tabs. You check all of them. Some stupid pictures on Facebook, some cute Rottweiler pictures, an occasional funny post from your friend’s Metal Gear Solid theories blog. You sigh, and close the tabs. Google greets you once more.

You started an argument on Electrical Audio, and it’s been consuming your thoughts, so you click on the bookmark, and find the thread. You type a long, angry response to a senior forum member. You finish, and then you check FIMFiction.net.

You read whatever crap is on your feed. You don’t like FIMFiction. You don’t like My Little Pony. You feel obliged to watch it, since you have been since late season 1. It’s become a part of you, as much as you hate to admit it. You feel pathetic.

You click Google Drive in your bookmarks. You have an unfunny fanfiction, that you keep the life support on because you’re just totally pathetic. You know exactly why you want your life to end.

You open the document which you keep all the chapters for the story in, and you clack away upon your keyboard, miserable. You think of upcoming assignments, but you can do them on the weekend. It’s Thursday, nothing’s due tomorrow. You just don’t put any effort in, and you wonder why you don’t get any A’s. Because you’re a fat fucking failure.

You sigh, as you finish yet another unfunny chapter of your shitty story. You open FIMFic again, and open your story. You add a new chapter, and copy paste the text over from the Google Drive page. You press save, and you press publish.

And for a brief period of time, Bad Stories For Bad People is on the front page again.