Bad Stories For Bad People

The sun shone brightly, all over the beautiful village of Ponyville.

Daryl Dixon pulled the bow on his crossbow back. God damn, he’s one sexy fucking beast. Ugh, look at that sexy long hair. I finger myself to him. I’m 15.

He placed the arrow in the crossbow, and aimed his sights at a little rabbit. He shot the little rabbit, and dashed over to pick it up. Damn, wasn’t that action sequence fucking awesome? God damn, Daryl is the best character.

“Damn, sonavahbitch smells like ass,” he said.

Jesus Christ. Look, I gotta stop the story. Daryl, jesus, my god, DARYL FRICKEN DIXON. How AWESOME is he? God damn, he’s just SO awesome.

He picked up the rabbit’s corpse, and pulled his knife out. He cut it open, like a fucking badass, and gutted it. He looked for some wood, and spotted a yellow pony with pink hair, almost in tears.

“Whatta y’all lookin’ at, bitch?”

She started sobbing profusely. Little crybaby.

“Y-y-y-you killed my little Angel!” she choked, during sobs. “Y-y-you m-m-m-monster!”

“Ay, do I look like I give a shit about y’all dumbass lil’ rabbit? I don’t!”

She started crying even more. She looked up, and suddenly her blue eyes were pierced with a crossbow arrow. She fell to the ground, stone cold dead. Motherfucker, this Daryl guy, he’s just amazing. All my girlfriends agree. I’m 15, I’m a girl, and I have severe autism.

Daryl said some badass one liner, before pulling the arrow out of the horse’s head. Jesus, look at his sexy motherfucking arms. Holy shit, he is just the best. Fuck Rick, fuck Glenn, DARYL is the best.

Daryl kept wandering through the forest, before spotting another pony. This one was orange, with light blonde hair.

“Hey y’all, c’mere lil’ horsie,” he said, calling the horse.

“Who said that?” replied a voice with a thick accent.

Look, now I don’t read the Walking Dead comics, because fucking nerds do, but I just want to say that DARYL is the best, and the comics suck because DARYL isn’t in them! What a terrible idea, not having Daryl in them. I mean, are they even based off the show? Jesus Christ, people.

“I’m Daryl Dixon, ya dumbass!”

“Come again?”

Then the arrow went through the orange horses’ head. Fucking hell, man, that’s awesome. Seriously, how awesome is Daryl? I’m surrounded by Daryl plushes right now. One has it’s hand in my vagina. I have a Daryl dakimakura on my bed. It’s stained by my ejaculate. It’s never been washed, it smells like feminine beauty. I hope Normy smells like this IRL.

He walked over to the horse and pulled the arrow out of it’s skull. He laughed. Sexily. He’s so fucking sexy as fucking shit. Fuck me. Norman Reedus please marry me.

I wrote a song for Daryl. It’s called “Norman please marry me”.

Daryl is so hot

I wanna fuck him

I want him to rape my cunt

And to set fire to my pussy

Norman please marry me x4

Daryl please shit in my mouth

Use me as a toilet

Tentacle Rape me

And then we can kill my parents

Norman please marry me x4

(hard rock solo)

Norman please marry me x8

Daryl is so much fucking cooler than Merle. Merle’s a meanie. God, Daryl is so hot.

DARYL FUCK ME PLEASE! YES BABY YES!

The End, sorry, I need to fucking masturbate to Daryl.