A Tiger in Equestria

The rest of the ponies were murmuring among themselves, before Twilight tried to drive her point home.

"She's been horrible to my friends." That's not a valid reason. As much as it stands, being an asshole doesn't mean you're a dick. She teleported next to Cadenza. What's with the theatrics?

"She's obviously done something to her bridesmades." How is a reshuffling of personnel a crime? Even then, as long as she didn't mean any harm to them, there is absolutely nothing wrong. She slowly started to advance on Cadenza

"And if that wasn't enough, I saw her put a spell on my brother that made his eyes go—" Her eyes... Wait, did they just independently spin? As far as I knew, from personal experience or otherwise, the best we could do was get ourselves cross-eyed, never de-synchronize them to the point of independance! That's... highly disturbing, to say the least. She also stuck her tongue out when doing so. Everyone, even my crew were highly confused. Princess Cadenza looked highly uncomfortable, and... Princess Celestia was standing slanted from the floor? Oookay... Apparently the pressure was too much, as Princess Cadenza started crying.

"Why are you doing this to me?" She started to run out of the hall. Twilight pointed towards her like she won or something.

"Because you're evil!" She teleported to the door.

"Evil!" She made a gesture remarkably similar to someone clenching their fists and shaking them towards the sky.

"If I don't stop you now you're going to ruin my brother's life!" Wow. Control freak much. If your brother wants to marry someone that... technically hasn't done anything wrong all, he's totally free to do so. Everyone's reactions were a mix of confusion and shock. Twilight turned around and began to triumphantly stride down the hall, her head held high, only to bump into Shining Armor. And he did not look happy.

"You want to know why my eyes went all—" He did that weird eye thing again. Okay, it seemed to be something that all ponies could do. And I swear, a fucking star flew out his horn.

"—Because ever since I started my protection spell, I've been getting terrible migraines. Cadence hasn't been using spells on me, she's been using her magic to heal me." Her name is Cadence, okay. Twilight looked like she was about to retort, when he continued his debunking of her theories.

"And she decided to replace her bridesmaids, because she found out that the only reason that they were in the wedding, was so they could meet Canterlot royalty."

"And she hasn't been on her best behavior with your friends—" He slammed his hoof on the floor for emphasis, "Is because of me being so busy, she's had to make all the decisions about the wedding!" Personally, I don't get it. But some of my friends who have gotten married also told me of this.

"I was just trying to—"

"She's completely stressed out because it's really important that our big day be perfect!" He slammed both his hooves down on the floor this time. He also seemed to now be in full rant and panic mode.

"Something, that obviously wasn't important to you." Twilight looked kinda angry by then. Also, Shining Armor had another one of his... supposed migraines that cause stars to pop out of his forehead then. Hey, maybe Gerhard could... Wait, does Aspirin even work on ponies?

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and comfort my bride." Twilight looked she was panicking and stretched her hoof out to Shining Armor

"And you can forget being my best mare. In fact, if I were you, I wouldn't show up to the wedding at all." That's... kinda harsh. But not really my business anyway.

"Come on y'all, let's go check on the Princess." Twilight's friends walked right past Twilight without even giving her a second glance. Except Spike. And why is he still holding that red cushion?!

"I was just—" She was cut off by Celestia

"You have a lot to think about." Strangely enough, her wings were all spread out. Does this means that she's angry? Alright, note to self, spread out wings means that they're very angry.

Twilight looked ready to break down, and she was already crying. The guards closed the door with a resounding slam. Did they forget about us or something?

"Maybe I was being a little overprotective." That's the understatement of the month. Also, she still didn't pay attention to us. I mean seriously, the tank was painting in camouflage, but, it was painted for forest conditions, and I don't see a single fucking speck of yellow here anyway, which was the base color of the tank.

"I would have gained a sister." She walked up the stairs, and laid herself ontop of it. I don't know why, Stair's sharp angles not being the best place to rest... well anything really.

"Instead, I just lost a brother." Her horn lit up, and I swear on my honor as a German, she made what looked like one of those toy versions that Spike smacked me in the head with earlier, and started moving them around, all the while crying. The magic... I don't know what to call them. Starting dancing around one another.

"He was my very very best friend, forever..." The one that was supposedly representing Shining Armor disappeared.

"And now we'll never do anything, together..." The one that represented Twilight looked terribly sad. It was later squished by Princess Cadence.

Cadence put a comforting hoof on — Wait, Where in the holy name of God in heaven did she come from? Didn't she leave about a minute ago!? Also, how did she get through the — I checked to be sure — still closed doors?

Cadence had put a hoof on Twilight's head. I refuse to think anything beyond that.

"I'm sorry!" Twilight looked up, her eyes filled with tears, into Cadence's eyes.

Suddenly, Cadence's face scrunched up into a scowl. Her horn suddenly glowed... Green? I expected something like pink, seeing how Twilight's was purple, Princess Celestia's was yellow, Princess Luna's was dark blue, but hey, I know fuck all about this shit.

Then shit started getting weird. Twilight immediately jerked up, and was surrounded by fucking green flames. Oh god in heaven save us. The freaky green flames formed a circle around Twilight, then formed a dome over her head, and slowly... Is she being absorbed by the ground!? Is she being sent to Hell or something!? I prayed to the god that I technically didn't believe in. Oh god please, save us from whatever the hell that is! Twilight's entire body was soon absorbed into the damn floor. Cadence walked onto the higher section of the hall... For some reason. I decided it would be the best fucking time to leave. Like right fucking now. The crew were saying prayers, grabbing their guns very tightly to their chests. Even normally calm Gerhard, who could find a joke to crack in any situation, looked horrified.

"Get us the fuck out of here now!"

No objects were met as Gerhard drove the tank as fast as it could go, out the main hall doors. I am not going to deal with this shit. Fucking hell nope. I need a drink right about now.