Cheerilee was at a loss. Her classes had been interrupted by Pinkie Pie many times in the past, usually for birthday parties. But she had never been disturbed before class by Pinkie Pie. Her first assumption was that Ms. Pie had somehow forgotten about a birthday until the last minute and was there to get Cheerilee’s okay to burst in for a celebration during the middle of class. That Cheerilee could have handled, but that was not the case. No, Pinkie Pie wanted to join her class today.

There had been a few occasions where parents wanted to sit in on a class and Cheerilee had no problems with that. But that was on a day of normal classes. Today was not a normal class day. Today they were starting the sex ed unit.

“Um, Pinkie, I’m not sure I can let you sit in on this particular class,” Cheerilee said.

“Oh, you don’t need to worry about that!” Pinkie cheerily explained, “I have a permission slip!”

“That’s not what I mean,” sighed Cheerilee, taking a deep breath she explained, “Pinkie, you have a history of being… excitable. That is the last thing this class needs. And with you being so much older than the students, well it could be considered a bit… creepy.”

Pinkie Pie just smiled and nodded, “Alright I understand. Good luck with your class today Ms. Cheerilee!” With that Pinkie Pie waved and walked out the door. Cheerilee let out a sigh of relief. She did not need today to be any harder that it was going to be already.

As soon as the door swung shut however, it burst open again revealing Pinkie Pie in a white button up shirt and a plaid skirt. Cheerilee buried her face into her hooves as Pinkie skipped over to her desk and pulled the oversized lollipop out of her mouth.

“Guten Tag misses teacher lady! I am new student from Yakyakistan. I am here to join your class today. Here is permission slip. Ya,” Pinkie Pie then put a piece of paper on Cheerilee’s desk.

Cheerilee wished her biggest problem was where Pinkie had gotten that permission slip.

“It is totally not a forgery. Ya,” Pinkie Pie said.

Cheerilee looked over the signature and shook her head. Though she didn’t know what Pinkie Pie’s mom’s name actually was, she was pretty sure that it wasn’t “Mother.”

“Pinkie, you do know that you’re legally an adult and you can sign this yourself. So it really doesn’t matter if you signed it or she did,” Cheerilee explained with a sigh.

“Pinkie? Who is this Pinkie?” Pinkie asked, “I am Yakyakistanian transfer student. Ya.”

“Pinkie, there is no Yakyakistanian transfer student in my class. Our school doesn’t require uniforms. And you’re still far too old. My day is going to be hard enough as it is, please find somepony else to bother,” Cheerilee grumbled, pushing Pinkie out of the school house.

With that Cheerilee walked to the front of the classroom and addressed the class, “Before we begin todays lesson I need everypony who hasn’t already to turn in their signed permission slips.”

While the last few students placed their slips on her desk, Cheerilee mentally calmed herself. The run in with Pinkie was behind her. She needed to at least look like she was calm, otherwise class would be awful.

After a glance through the new slips and a few marks on the attendance sheet, Cheerilee put on a smile and began, “That’s everypony, so we can begin.”

As soon as those words had left her mouth the door was kicked open, and once again Pinkie Pie invited herself into the schoolhouse. This time she was wearing makeup that was far too heavy. Her front legs had sequined stockings, while her back were covered in those of the fishnet variety. She had a black formfitting dress on that was cut far too short. How Cheerilee knew it was cut too short she wasn’t sure, but she was seriously considering making a school dress code just to ban that dress.

“Did somepony order a teaching aid?” Pinkie Pie asked in a sultry voice. The entire room sat in silence, taking in Pinkie’s costume. Then one of the colts fell out of his chair.

Now Cheerilee had three ways to deal with this. The first was to kick Pinkie Pie out of the classroom again; though that would just result in something even more ridiculous happening. The second was to let Pinkie Pie sit in on the class as long as she behaved. Not a great solution, but workable. The last was to roll with it and actually use Pinkie Pie as a teaching aid. That… Cheerilee didn’t even want to think about that one.

“Pinkie, if you promise to take that off, sit in the back of the class, and not say anything unless I call on you, you can sit in on the class,” Cheerilee relented.

“T-take it off?” Pinkie Pie asked, a blush barely visible beneath her coat, “Oh, yeah, sure. I can do that.”

After taking a deep breath, Pinkie Pie started swaying back and forth as a saxophone began playing sensually smooth jazz somewhere in the distance. Pinkie Pie slowly slid off her front stockings while giving an inviting smile to the class. It took until Pinkie Pie had removed her rear stockings and was turning around to present herself to the class for Cheerilee’s brain to comprehend what was happening.

“Pinkie!” Cheerilee screeched causing the entire class to wince, “That’s not what I meant by ‘take it off’. Change into something more appropriate, and go sit in the back of the class.”

A disappointed groan arose from some of the class as Pinkie sped out of the room to change. A quick sniff of the air and Cheerilee knew that groans weren’t all that were arisen by Pinkie’s little display. Knowing that the key to keeping some sense of normalcy in the class was acting like nothing out of the ordinary was going on, Cheerilee did her best to ignore the scents. It wasn’t that hard really, it was simply how one functioned in polite society. Ignoring the fact that she would be the one that would have to clean the chairs however was a different story. Maybe she could make Pinkie do it? Ugh, no. That just… No.

Pinkie Pie walked back into the room, thankfully not wearing any kind of costume, and slunk to the back of the class. A few of the female students were glaring at her, and several of the male students were trying to subtly sneak a peek beneath her tail. Those students failed, both in terms of catching a glimpse of anything and in being subtle. As there were no empty desks, Pinkie Pie took a seat on the floor behind the back row.

With a smile Cheerilee began her lesson, “Today class, we’ll be starting our sexual education unit. I know some of the things that we’ll talk about will seem funny, and some of it will be embarrassing, but we’re all adults here. If something does make you feel too uncomfortable, feel free to step out of the room. Our first topic is reproductive anatomy.”

Cheerilee flipped back the first page of the large display packet she had set up on an easel. On this second page were two anatomical diagrams of a mare’s and a stallion's reproductive organs. Cheerilee’s gaze slipped over the class. A couple of foals’ eyes snapped to the board, some of them tried to keep feigning indifference despite their piqued interests, and the rest tried to keep their eyes as far away as possible. Pinkie seemed to be ignoring this part of the lecture, no doubt waiting for the perfect moment to do whatever it was she was going to do.

“As I’m sure several ponies have already told you; you're approaching a time in your life where your body will begin to change. This period of growth is call puberty,” Cheerilee began, “Along with the growth spurts and changes to your voice that you are already aware of, a more private place will undergo dramatic changes as well. I’m referring to your genitals, the penis for males, and the vagina for females.”

Cheerilee paused to gauge the reactions of her students. The reactions she got here were a good indication of how the rest of the lessons would go. Lots of blushes, a few embarrassed smiles, one silent awkward giggle; all signs that the rest of her lessons would be filled with long silences and few questions. But that was better than the alternative of the students not taking this seriously. Speaking of taking things seriously Pinkie Pie seemed to only be paying just enough attention so that she could follow the lesson. At least she wasn’t being disruptive yet.

“For some of you these changes may have already started. Some of you may still have a few years before you see any signs of them. There’s nothing wrong with either of those. Everyone has a slightly different experience with puberty, though there are a few big things happen to everyone,” Cheerilee gestured to the display board, “These changes are just your body getting ready to be able to reproduce. Now before I go any further, does anypony have any questions?”

It was rare that anypony actually asked any actual questions, but it was important to remind the students that they can ask anything and give them ample opportunities to do so. Cheerilee had another way of opening the class up to questions though.

“No questions? Alright then I have a question for all of you. Does anypony have any guesses about any of the changes that happen?” Cheerilee asked. Pinkie’s hoof immediately shot up. Shit. “Any answer you give is right, we are just listing ideas after all.”

Now Cheerilee had a decision to make. If she let Pinkie Pie answer a question, it would be possible that it would break the ice and the other students… No. With her actual students, and they would start speaking up. On the other hand Pinkie Pie could potentially ruin the entire lesson. Cheerilee wasn’t sure how exactly, but she knew that Pinkie Pie could find a way.

Cheerilee decided to risk it, hesitantly she called on Pinkie, “Yes, Ms. Pie?”

The entire class turned to look at Pinkie. Cheerilee found herself relishing the anxiety on Pinkie’s face. She had damn well better be nervous about messing with Cheerilee’s lesson.

After a nervous gulp, Pinkie Pie answered, “A stallion’s eclair gets bigger and it starts making cream.”

Cheerilee had no idea where that came from. What was Pinkie trying to pull…

“Well, actually their sourdough balls start making the cream,” Pinkie Pie took Cheerilee’s silence as a request to go on.

Then it hit Cheerilee what Pinkie Pie was doing.

“Mares start to drop eggs into their oven,” Pinkie Pie started to ramble, “But if the eggs don’t get any cream they get thrown away. And the eggs get the cream by having a stallion put his…”

“Stop!” Cheerilee shouted, “Stop. Just. Stop.”

Pinkie Pie stopped, her mouth hanging open, she somehow managed to not even blink. All of the students were trying to figure out what was going on, several whispering to each other. Cheerilee had her face in her hoof.

“Why are you talking like that?” Cheerilee asked.

“Because using the actual words is too embarrassing,” Pinkie Pie explained, “So I use baking metaphor. It was something Princess Cadence suggested.”

“So the reason you’re here is?” Cheerilee asked.

“So that I can get used to ponies using the actual words,” Pinkie replied.

Crap. She was actually using this as a learning experience.

“Look, if you really need help we can… schedule a private tutoring session,” Cheerilee offered, “My Thursday evenings are free.”

“Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Pinkie Pie cheered, hopping up and down, “I can’t wait to write to Princess Cadance about this! Oh I wonder what costume I should wear?”

“Don’t wear anything!” Cheerilee sternly ordered.

“Oh I get you,” Pinkie Pie gave a wink as she slid out of the room, “See you Thursday!”

“That’s not what I meant!” Cheerilee called after her, before realizing it was useless and muttering, “Oh, what have I gotten myself into?”

Cheerilee took a moment to compose herself before facing the class, then she looked back at the display cards on the easel and asked. “Where were we?”

“Mrs. Cheerilee, I have a question,” Scootaloo asked, raising her hoof.

Cheerilee smiled, it looked like Pinkie Pie had loosened the class up. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad.

“Go ahead Scootaloo,” Cheerilee encouraged.

“If, you’re going on a date with Pinkie Pie, does that mean you actually like mares?” Scootaloo asked.

“Oh my gosh we hadn't even thought of that!” Sweetie Belle gasped, “We are so sorry for trying to set you up with Big Mac.”

“We’ll make it up to you! We can help you with your date this Thursday!” Applebloom offered.

Cheerilee walked over to her desk and let her face fall into it. Somehow, Pinkie had found a way to not only ruin the class, but also her life. Perhaps she should reconnect with Berry Punch tonight. It had really been far too long since they had last talked.

Princess Cadence and Shining Armor were in the middle of a very intense makeout session when a scroll popped into existence and bounced off their heads. Cadance broke this kiss, letting Shining Armor slide the attention of his tongue lower.

“Oh. It looks like it’s from Pinkie Pie,” Cadance moaned.

“Why don’t you read it,” suggestively suggested Shining Armor, before going for a rather intimate place on his wife.

Squirming from her husband’s attention, Cadance unrolled and read the letter.

Dear Princess Cadence,

Today I learned that I need to know not only my own boundaries, but those of others as well. I took your sugestion of going to the Ponyville School and getting help from the teacher. At first Cheerilee was confused, then she was against it. The class was really interested in what I was doing and I offered to be a teaching-aid, but Cheerilee just kept telling me no. But eventually she decided that struggling wasn’t worth it and she just needed to let it happen
The whole thing was pretty embarrassing at first, but once I got a rhythm going it took Cheerilee’s screaming to knock me out of it. When I was done Cheerilee admitted that it wasn’t that bad, but next time I should see her in private so I don’t disturb her class.

Your faithful student,

Pinkamena Diane Pie

The couple looked at each other for three seconds before they both jumped off the bed.

“I’ll alert the Ponyville guard,” Shining Armor announced.

“I’ll have them get the royal train ready,” Cadance declared, “That mare is in so much trouble.”

Meanwhile in the kitchen of Sugarcube Corner Pinkie Pie turned off the oven and dusted off her hooves.

“I still can’t remember if suggestion is spelled with one or two ‘G’s,” she muttered to herself, “I should really get a proofreader for these.”

Author's Note

Man I can not believe I just wrote that. I put way too much effort into it too. I actually researched and made a sex-ed lesson plan for the class. Then I realized that it destroyed the pacing so I cut basically all of it. Seriously though, why are 200 people tracking this story? It was marked as completed! You all are lucky that despite the fact that I know I shouldn't, I still want to write more of this.

Originally this was going to be a second one shot story, but then I realized that there was a good chance I would wind up writing more. So if this chapter receives even half the attention the last one did, you all will get at least one more chapter.

On a slightly tangential note, my usual proof/beta-reader refused to read this chapter. Ironic yes? Please let me know of any spelling, grammar, or other issues with the chapter and I'll fix them ASAP. Oh, and if your interested in proof/beta-reading the next chapter of this ~~(assuming there will be another)~~ let me know.
-Calm

Ask and ye shall receive bitches!
-Insane

EDIT: There will be at least one more chapter of this.