The Teufort Nine's Wizard-Fueled Adventure

The pair walked slowly between cottages, Heavy walking intentionally slowly to avoid overtaking his team-mate with his longer strides.

Trit. Trot. Trit. Trot. Plink.

"Verdammt!"

Heavy turned his head to see Medic doing an odd little three-legged dance. His front left leg was curled up, and the pony looked like he was in pain.

"What is wrong, Doktor?"

"I am in pain, dummkopf!" Immediately, Heavy was concerned.

"Doktor, stop dancing around and let Heavy see what is wrong."

"Nein! I vill be fine. It is just a minor inconvenience." Medic turned away from Heavy, and started walking with an obvious limp. "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow."

"Doktor has something wrong with hoof. Let Heavy fix it."

"Nein!"

A few seconds later, Medic was lying on his back with Heavy leaning over him. The minotaur's frame dwarfed the pony on the ground. Heavy cradled Medic's hoof in one hand, running the other over the sole of the hoof. Medic waved his free legs in the air feebly.

"Aha! Doktor has stone in hoof." With a flick of one oddly-shaped finger, Heavy removed the offending object. "Heavy does not know why you struggle, Doktor. That did not hurt, did it?"

"I suppose so," grumbled Medic. "Now move so zhat I can get back up! Zhis position is humiliating enough as it is." The minotaur stepped back to allow him up. Instead, Medic rolled a little, his legs making bicycle movements in the air. "Ach! Move, stupid body! And stop laughing, Heavy!"

"Doktor is so cute!"

"Heavy, promise me zhat you vill never mention zhat again?"

"Da. Doktor's cuteness will be Heavy's secret."

They had not yet found any noteable landmarks, although there were quite a few shops. Poking his head around a corner, Medic saw a large building which looked as if it had been made out of a tree. In fact, it was a tree. Perhaps this structure was of some significance. No ponies were in sight, however, and Medic wondered if the impromptu musical number was being continued somewhere. Now that he knew their weakness, avoiding incrimination would be much easier.

"Do you see zhat tree?"

"Da."

"Ve should look inside. Maybe zhere is a map or somezhing."

"Da."

"Qvite odd, zhough, to have a house inside a tree. I vonder vhat kind of architecture zhese ponies practise."

"Vanilla, with raspberry jam in centre of cupcake."

It was at this point that Medic realised that the minotaur wasn't paying him any attention. "Vanilla, with raspberry jam in centre of cupcake" was most certainly not a suitable answer to his question. He turned, a scowl of annoyance over his face.

"Heavy, vhat are you - WAUGH!"

Heavy was kneeling down, and nodding in appreciation as a pink pony whinnied at him. Medic didn't know how exactly his team-mate was understanding what the thing was saying, but he seemed to be coping just fine.

"Doktor, come say hello to new friend!"

"Nein! Get avay from zhat... zhat thing! It is a dangerous monster!" Heavy looked shocked.

"Pinkie Pie is not dangerous! Come, say hello!"

"Und just how do you zhink I am going to speak viz zhat... creature?"

"Pinkie Pie is not creature! Pinkie Pie is pony, like you. You must say hello."

"Ach... hello, Pinkie Pie." He was answered with a neighing noise. "I am sorry, Herr Heavy, but I cannot understand vhat zhe pony is saying. I take it zhat you have had better luck?"

"Pinkie Pie understands every word from Heavy's mouth," he said, nodding sagely. "She is saying that we are new to this town, and friend of Pinkie will help us." Medic was thoughtful.

"I do admit zhat zhat vill help us greatly. Of course, ve should still maintain a low profile. No extravagant parties, haha!"

"Twilight!" yelled the pony as she bounced through the tree's door. "Twilight! There's some ponies who wanna meet you! Come quick!"

There was no reply. In fact, there didn't seem to be anyone at home at all. Heavy followed his new friend, stooping a little to avoid hitting his head on the door frame. Heavy's eyes were drawn to the books that lay splayed on the floor, and sheaves of paper scattered as if someone had dropped them in a great hurry.

"Maybe zhis 'Tvilight' person is out?" offered Medic, trit-trotting in last before shutting the door. Heavy relayed this suggestion to Pinkie, who shook her head vigorously.

"No, she would never leave books like out like that," said Pinkie as she pointed to said books with a hoof. "She's super-careful with her books."

Heavy picked one up, riffling through it with a surprisingly slender finger. Each leaf was covered with fascinating scribbles, and he stopped on one double page which held nothing but an exquisite pencil drawing of the night sky. An arrow pointed towards the crescent moon, with several notes beside it.

"Vould you mind if I were to take a look at zhat, Heavy?" The minotaur wordlessly bent down to hand Medic the book. There was a thump as he straightened up, but Heavy paid it no attention. He had had a thought.

"Pinkie, this house looks like Twilight left quickly. Maybe something was chasing her? Was she fleeing something?" Thump.

"Fleeing?" Pinkie looked at him strangely. "Hey, she could have gotten an invitation or something. Or maybe Princess Celestia wanted to speak to her! That happens a lot." Thump.

"Twilight knows a princess? She must be very important person." Thump.

"Well, she is one of the- " Pinkie Pie was interrupted by a loud screech from Medic, and yet another thump.

"Medic! What is the matter with you?" The unicorn grimaced.

"I am trying to pick up zhis book! Zhis is, might I say, qvite a difficult task for somevun viz NO HANDS!"

"What's the matter with your friend?"

"Doktor," whispered Heavy, "cannot pick up the book. I think he is missing fingers." Heavy wiggled his own to demonstrate. "Heavy is not sure how it is possible with hoof."

"Ooh, I know! The book's probably just slippery. Let me try!" Pinkie Pie picked up the book from where it had fell. "Nope. Just a normal book. Hey, what are you staring at?"

Medic was gazing with widened eyes at the book that had stuck itself to the pink pony's hoof.

"How... how did you..." he stuttered. Then he shook his head, and a gleam appeared in his eye that Heavy knew to be the kind he got when faced with a particularly intriguing specimen for dissection. "Suction cups, maybe? Or perhaps zhe hoof has a mechanism similar to zhe gecko's toes! I must test zhis further. And yet I cannot pick up zhis blasted book!"

As Heavy's new friend set about helping Medic undertake a simple task, the minotaur glanced about the room.

Clik. Clik.

He could hear footsteps coming towards them. Turning his head towards the source of the noise, he saw a staircase framed by another doorway. Someone was coming down it. Something vaguely humanoid, and scaly. As it reached the bottom of the stairs, it looked Heavy in the eyes and froze. It turned its head to stare at Medic and Pinkie. Then it spoke.

Horse noises.