The Man with the Hidden Past

I woke up outside what looked like a fortress. I tried to sit up and noticed I was being held down by some sort of weight on my back. I quickly turned my head to see what it was.

"What. The. Fuck." was all I could say. I was looking at what appeared to be a a giant pair of wings that looked like a bat's. But it looked like it was made of shadows and it had small steams of blood red flowing through them. Like seriously, it looked liked mother-fucking blood was just flowing freely within them.

"That totally looks awesome." I thought.

"THAT TOTALLY LOOKS AWESOME." I heard. It was my voice, but it sounded like it was coming from all around me.

"Ok... well then. My thoughts appear to be on the outside of my head right now. Might at as well have some fun then." So I quickly thought of what I would look like.

Biggest. Fucking. Mistake. Ever.

I noticed that what I thought was me, actually was me. And it thought of another me, and IT though of another me, and so forth.

"Fuck." I said. "Looks, like I get to think of a bomb then. No wait, So appearantly I'm in my own mind, or I'm dreaming. And frankly, this is to awesome to be a dream. And I don't want to blow up my own mind so...."

Suddenly, each one of Me, had a knife in their hand. And then each one, stabbed themselves in the face. Over, and over, and over.

"Ha! Thats fucking hilarious." I said.

"How is that funny? THEIR STABBING THEMSELVES IN THE FACE!" I heard behind me.

"Whoa. So, your in my mind too? Shit. My mind just got a whole lot more fucked up." I said. Not caring who was behind me. It was eather Twilight or Celestia, and neither had the guts to truly hurt anyone. If anything, I was the only one in this entire country that would kill without regret.

"Whats that suppost to mean."

"I ment that you're fucking boring. You goddamn bookworm. But either way, I'm gonna try and fucking use these wings or something. Ya wanna ride if I can actually fly with these?"

"Yeah, ok..." Twilight said. She obviously took what I said to heart. "Besides, this place is kinda scary."

I then decided to look at my surroundings. It looked like Hell from that one "The Darkness" game.

"Nah. This ain't nothing. I've seen worse."

"Like what?"

"Don't worry about it. It doesn't concern you."

"Then why did you mention it?"

"Because I did."

"Why?"

"Look. Your answer is 'Because I did.' now stop asking. I gotta try and use these things." I said, trying to concentrait on my wings. I was looking back to see if they did anything and when I focused on them, they ended up opening completely and smacking me in the face.

"SON OF A BITCH!" I yelled. I noticed the edges of the wing where covered in sharp little spikes.

"Cool. Spikes. Wait, hey Twilight, did I cut my face?" I asked.

"Well, yes. But its already healing."

"Must just be the fact that we're in my mind. Hey, if I think of anything, and it appears... I'm sure not gonna try and do things the hard way." I said.

Suddenly a book appeared in my hand.

"Whats that?" Twilight asked.

"A book telling me how to fly." I said. I opened the book and noticed the pages where blank.

"Fuck. I have to think of words too. Figures." I said. I then threw the book as far as I could. As soon as it it the ground, it burst into flames.

"Cool." I commented.

"So what are you gonna do now?" Twilight asked.

"Your mother." I mumbled under my breath.

"What? I couldn't hear you." Twilight asked.

"I said, I was gonna do it the hard way." I said. Decideing to try and avoid that conversation.

So, I decided that since I know that the wings where lightweight and just by when I hit myself in the face and that I could move them at great speeds without effort. So, I remembered what other pegesi did and just plain moved my wings up and down. I lifted slightly in the air.

"Oh. Cool. I always wanted to fly. Without a plane anyway. I fucking hate those things."

"What's a plane?" Twilight asked.

So I thought of a standard passanger plane. It appeared right in front of us.

"Wow. How does it work?" She then asked.

"You have questions for everything don't you?" I asked her. "And this is all I know about it."

I then decided to use my imagination a bit. I ended up imagining a door with all my knowledge of planes inside it. All one had to do was open it.

"So, do I just open this door?" She asked.

"Yeah. You go ahead and look inside it. I'm just gonna practice flying. Bye!" And with that, I left with a large boom.

"What was that?!" Twilight asked herself.

"IT SHOULD BE IN THE DOOR. JUST LOOK IN SECTION "S" IT SHOULD BE UNDER SOUND BARRIER."

"How can you hear me?"

"YOU'RE IN MY HEAD. DUH. DO I NEED TO MAKE MORE DOORS FOR YOU?"

"I would like that."

"OK FINE. BUT IM GONNA LEAVE SOME STUFF OUT. SO DEAL WITH IT."

"Fine..."

And with that, doors from A to Z appeared right by her. But some topics and a certain time zone where missing.

"Yay!" She said. And hurried to door A.

"Now then... I've successfully broken the sound barrier with no effort, and flown around my mind I think about 3 times, killed random people in my head, thought myself in the Revolutionary War just to see what would happen if the Confederate won, hated the Revolutionary War if the Confederate won, blown up the Confederate 5 times so far, and thought myself back to the present. What now..." I said to myself.

"Eh. Might as well go see Twilight."

Once I got there, she looked like she had gone throught Hell and barly made it back.

"Whoa. What the fuck happened to you?" I asked.

She didn't answer. She just looked at me. With empty eyes. They looked like those of a dead man.

"Fuck. I practicly just killed Twilight with knowledge."

I decided that since I wouldn't be able to explain this to the rest of the ponies, I should find a way to fix it. So I thought of a button. That erased all memories that took place in my mind.

"Fuck that, I sure ain't gonna press it. Yo Twilight, come here and press this button."

She slowly walked over and lifted to hoof above the button, and forcefully slammed it down on it. All I heard was the click of the botton, and then I saw her faint.

"Fuck. Now, I have to carry around a sleeping pony. I should have thought this through better."

"Yes, yes you should have."

"And now Celestia is in my head again. Perfect." I said.

I glided over to the pony and picked her up in my hand.

"Either my mind made me really strong, or ponies are really light." I commented.

"A little of both. And I think those are the wings you would have liked, correct?"

"Hell yeah I did. These things are awesome. They're like, 3 feet long, and look like a bat's wings. Plus the colors are fucking epic. I didn't expect the red though. But I sure ain't complaining."

"Well lucky you. 'Cause I can't find a way to bring you and Twilight out of your mind without bringing the wings back too. So thats one favor solved. And since we're in your mind, would you like to show me what you want to bring back?"

"Ok, sure. I don't see why not."

Then, a large, metal vehicle appeared in front of me. It had a large tube on the front, and it had what looked like many wheels with a chain around them. The giant tube was attached to a large object on top of a larger rectangular object.

"What is it?" Celestia asked.

"This," I said, motioning at the tank,"Is the U.S. M1A1 Abrams Battle Tank. But most people just call it the M1A1 for short."

"What's it do?"

"Well... It lets me get around faster." I said. Not wanting to tell her what it really was for.

"If she knew what it really was for, she sure as Hell wouldn't let me take it with." I mumbled.

"What? I couldn't hear you."

"Whats it to ya?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"Then why do you want to know?"

Scilence.

"Looks like I out witted a certain Princess." I said to myself.

"Well. That Fortress over there don't look like the best place I should go, but then agian, since when do I care?"

I carried Twilight with me and jumped in the tank. I quickly turned it on and drove off to the Fortress. It looked a bit to strong to just knock the wall down, and I couldn't just try and blow the thing up all willy-nilly. So I turned around. And decided to wait for Celestia.

"I'm gonna hate doing this but..." I said.

"YO CELESTIA! CAN YOU GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE? I RAN OUT OF STUFF TO DO." I heard.

"Yes, I was waiting for you to tell me when."

"When where you ready?"

"When I first heard you wake up."

"You ass. Why didn't you get us out of here earlier? I almost killed Twilight with knowledge. Be happy if she forgets this. I'm not sure if that button I made erased her memories. All I know is that it made her pass out."

"Oops?

"Fuck you... Just get us out of here."

Then, in a bright flash, I was in the Palace. But only with Celestia.

"Now for our talk..." Celestia said, advancing on me.

"Fuck." I was all i said before I turned around and ran.