Too uptight

Snow Blitz shifted uncomfortably in his seat. In front of him was a coffee table with two waters. Farther up was another seat for the mare who would try to win his heart. Sea Swirl and Shard Vine had gone to bring in one of the mares in the long line that had formed. Dusty and Slate were hidden somewhere in the room. He knew Dusty was behind the couch, with pillows, blankets, soda, pizza and a notepad and pen for notes. Slate however, had not told him where he was hidden.

Suddenly, Sea Swirl opened the door and in came a mare with a golden-cream coat. Her mane was styled like Princess Twilight's and she was wearing a western cowgirl hat.

"This is Blazing Saddle" said Shard Vine to Snow Blitz as he looked around for somewhere to hide, and dashed for where Slate was, when Blazing wasn't looking. Sea Swirl however, was still deciding her hiding place. She finally zoomed to behind the curtains.

"Heya there, Snow Blitz! My name is Blazin' Saddle!" confirmed the mare.

Snow Blitz smiled warily "H-Hi Blazing! M-my name is Snow Blitz... N-not that you didn't know" he stammered.

Blazing Saddle laughed. "You nervous?" she asked.

Embarrassed, he nodded his head yes.

"Well, don't need to be like that around me! Now, tell me: Have you dated anyone before?" She asked, with a smile.

Snow Blitz shrugged. "No. But I have two best friends that are mares. Does that count?" He asked, hearing a low giggle from where Sea Swirl was hidden and a quiet sneer from where Ghost Dust was. He turned red.

"Not to sound rude, but no" replied Blazing Saddle, beginning to look bored.

"Um, well, I'm Celestia's royal guard" Said Snow Blitz, trying not to make the situation so hopeless.

Blazing Saddle looked interested again. "Tell me more" she said.

"W-well, I work with Shining Armor... And I got to meet Princess Cadence once... Did you know she's expecting a filly?" He asked, trying to sound professional and intresting.

"No, I didn't know. And you met Princess Cadence? Wowzers, that's pretty cool!" She said.

"Yeah... And, er, I have friends" he blurted out.

Blazing Saddle stared at him. "Oh. Um, wow?" She asked.

Snow Blitz regretted saying that. He sounded stupid and weird! "I-I mean that I have a whole group of friends" he stammered again. "Th-there's Sea Swirl and Shard Vine, Dusty and Slate" he rambled on "A-and they're comedians" he finished dumbly.

Blazing Saddle nodded slowly. "Uh, okay then" she said, shifting uncomfortably like Snow Blitz was so used to.

"Also, My mom bakes great pies!" He said, smiling stupidly.

Blazing Saddle made a face. "Oh.. Er..." she mumbled "I-I have to go.. to.. um.. work" she lied, as she got off the seat.

Snow Blitz kept a fake smile on. "Uh, yeah! Okay! Come back later!" he replied as Blazing Saddle gave him one last sorry look and closed the door behind her.

"I think she's a keeper!" said Snow Blitz, triumphantly.

"Really? My mom bakes great pie?" Asked Slate, rolling his eyes.

"Us mares, don't want some creep who barley knows how to talk" Said Sea Swirl, pointing to her notes on Blazing Saddle.

Shard Vine just sighed. "Let's all compare notes" He said.

Slate took out his notebook, which read:

Blazing Saddle:

Is a cowgirl. Is nice. Can be nervous. Doesn't like Snow Blitz.

Snow Blitz looked up at Slate. "Gee thanks for that last one" he said sarcastically.

Shard Vine showed them his:

Blazing Saddle test subject, Group A:

Western, Funny, Caring, Nervous, Stammers, Rejects Snow

After Snow Blitz read Shard's notes he nodded his head. "Not bad, but that last one..." he trailed off.

Sea Swirl just shrugged. "I thought his were better than mine" she commented, showing her notes, that read:

Blazing Saddle notes-

Seems to be cowgirl-ish, no accent like Applejack, Forgiving, Stammers and shifts when nervous

"These seem alright" approved Snow Blitz, before turning to Dusty. "What did you write?" He asked her.

"Um, well..." She said, smiling.

Sea Swirl grinned. "Oh! You didn't!" She laughed.

Dusty smiled. "I sorta did" She said, showing them her notepad:

Slate and Shard Vine laughed.

"Ghost Jetbat Dust, why?!" Asked Snow Blitz, grinning. "I needed output!"

She shrugged. "I got bored after you started talking about your job" Said Ghost Dust.

Shard Vine nodded. "Yeah, It kinda was boring, dude. Lighten up the conversation" he advised.

"Girls love a guy who's fun!" said Sea Swirl.

"Actually, my marefriend can be really serious and doesn't like it when I laugh while she's mad" said Slate, shrugging.

Snow Blitz sighed. "Who's next?" He asked Shard Vine.

Shard Vine shrugged. "Should I go check?" He asked, heading to the door.

"If there's anyone left. Maybe Blazing Saddle blabbed to all her friends that Snow Blitz was terrible" commented Sea Swirl, setting down some fresh water and soda on the coffee table.

"Gee thanks" replied Snow Blitz again.

"Stop being so sarcastic with your friends, and so nervous with other mares. Be yourself" said Dusty, stretching out her dark blue bat wings.

"Exactly. Show them who Snow Blitz is" agreed Shard Vine from the door.

"Whatever. Just go get the next mare" sighed Snow Blitz, sitting back down in his seat.

Slate dashed to behind the curtains.

"That's my hiding spot!" complained Sea Swirl.

"Not anymore!" laughed Slate, taking a bite from the pizza and taking out his pen and notepad.

Sea Swirl muttered something under her breath and stormed over to where Ghost Dust was. "At least I have a better spot now!" she yelled back at him.

Shard Vine opened the door and dissapeared behind it, to go bring the next mare. Who would probably react like Blazing Saddle: Disgusted.