Chapters The night air was crisp, cold against bare coats. But no coats were bared to its' touch tonight. The wandering band of ponies was well-traveled enough to know when to shield themselves against the elements. They had certainly faced much worse. The image of a freak snowstorm nearly waylaying them on one of countless treks to Fillydelphia came to mind instantly. This was far more pleasant than that my a vast margin. Their destination was Ponyville. Their aim was to play a few concerts here and there to drum up enough bits to continue moving. It was a nice life, all things considered. They were talented with their instruments but found that concert halls stifiled them.
It was through chance that they all met. There was some great competition going on and the sound of music filled the air. But their hearts just weren't in it that day. Each of them hailed from different cities around Equestria and each of them found their place in the piece lost to another pony. They didn't hold any ill will to their conductors. They were just doing their jobs, after all. So it was that they talked. And talked. And talked. After a night spent at the tavern, away from their respective orchestras, they fell upon the most logical conclusion. They would travel the land, playing to anypony who would lend them an ear. Perhaps they would return to a more stationary lifestyle one day, but not until every drop of wonder had been squeezed out of the rolling hills and quaint towns they wandered through. So perhaps in a few more lifetimes.
This night was like any other in that it was completely unique. They were just settling down and stoking a fire when a stranger entered their midst. Where this stranger came from none of them could tell but it was their deepest hope that they meant no ill will. While they had learned to defend themselves against the rare threat, they still weren't keen on fighting if it could be avoided. Summer Breeze, the attendant flutist, spoke first.
"Hail, stranger! What brings you out to this barely-beaten path tonight? And alone to boot!"
"Wandering, just the same as you. Though I'm afraid I've no instrument to play."
"What can you do then, stranger?" The voice of their violinist Green Light floated over the fledgling fire.
"I can tell stories. Or so I've been told, at the least. It's more they sit inside me until they want to be let out."
"I know how that feels mate. Come, have a seat. You can share our fire and our food for the night. In return, however, we require a story."
"Make it the grandest one you've got!" Came the excited voice of Sunbather, a unicorn mare talented with guitar. "I do so love a good epic."
"The grandest one I've got? It's good the night is still young then, because I have something in mind that will take some time to tell. But anything good requires time. Lend me your ears and I'll tell you my tale."
"Your tale?"
"Well, more the tale I'm going to tell. The characters in this one will feel familiar, I've no doubt." A smile could be seen from under the strangers hood, a smirk that was heavy with good-natured trickery. "It's a story of two sisters. Stop me if you've heard this one."
The circle of ponies stopped to consider the question for a moment. Deciding that they had not, in fact, heard this one before, they urged the stranger to continue.
"Two sisters who had circled around each other for eons. Moving in an endless circle, one reflecting off the other and vice versa. It was a stable relationship, for a while. But turbulence found them, even in their perpetual orbit. It was a turbulence that would shake the world to its core for quite some time. Their dance would carry on into another eternity but this is not that story. This is the story about the cessation of their dance, of them wracked with the throes of that turbulence. It's a tale of sorrow. In this time these two sisters encountered the deepest woes they had ever been faced with. They would overcome the greatest obstacles either of them faced, but it would be mostly alone. For alone is how the sisters find themselves on most nights. Not these days, of course, but as they begin to falter in their steps."
By now the night had grown entirely silent, as if the strangers voice had some command over the sounds of the dark surrounding them. Her audience was entirely enraptured, wholly focused on her silky voice. "Now then. Allow me to begin."
The stranger gathered her cloak around her, shivering despite the heat generated by the fire. The chill that ran through her spine was not one that any mortal fire could stave off; it was one borne from years of repressed memories. Memories of powerful sorrow, of the deepest longing. Her breath shuddered as it caught in her throat. There was something that longed to escape her chest. It wanted to burst from her rib cage, to tear her form asunder in all its bittersweet viciousness.
She placed a hoof on her chest to keep it in place as she gathered her wits. The small show she had put on had only served to deepen the immersion of her present company. That wasn’t her intention but she certainly wasn’t going to complain.
“Did you hear me? Over all those years, through all those nights, did you ever hear me?”
“I…”
“You don’t have to lie to me anymore. We’re here, together now. You… just please tell me the truth. I know. I saw you cry, I saw you struggle with each breath you took, I saw you falter in your step. I wish you could’ve done more for me at the time but… did you at least hear me?”
“I did. I did hear you. I know you wanted to help. In your own way. It wasn’t the right way, at least to me. It never was, really. But I’ve something more to tell you.”
“What?”
“I knew. For years, I knew.”
“Knew what? What did you know, Celestia?”
“I saw it! I saw it in your head! I knew you resented me, resented the day. I knew you thought that nopony appreciated your beautiful, beautiful nights. And you weren’t entirely incorrect. But I could’ve shown you a few who did care. I could’ve done more for you. I don’t know why I didn’t.”
“You… you knew? Why didn’t you help me? Why?”
Luna couldn’t stand to see her sister choke like this. It hurt, to drag up the past again, but this had to be resolved. There was so much she didn’t know, so much she barely remembered from her time spent as Nightmare Moon. It was like looking through a frosted window, like peering through somepony else's dreams. These memories, these feelings, these actions… They weren’t her own, right?
They couldn’t be. She was Luna, Princess of the Moon. Not some twisted monster of the night. That much she was certain. But there was still something that burned in her veins, something that still screamed in her mind at times. It was simple to ignore these days. Being around Celestia again, having made actual friends… But before all of that, a thousand years before Nightmare Moons’ defeat at the hooves of the Elements of Harmony, her story was entirely different.
It happened first when she was very young. A voice, soft and sweet, speaking to her on a summer breeze in the deepest night. The moon hung overhead, pregnant with shimmering white light. It spoke of great power, of great promise. The thought clung to her young minds rafters and quickly built a home. It started out simply enough, really. Just slight pushes here and there, tiny observations that the voice would offer when she was alone in her domain. The voice changed over time and so did she.
She became bitter and angry. She knew Celestia didn’t value her contributions to the palace. She knew that to her she was just another puppet, another pawn to be used in her great games of political strategy. Luna had no doubt that once she had exhausted her usefulness her sister would merely discard her. She envied her control over the darker side of the day, over the shadows that crept in every hall. Perhaps envy was the wrong word. Fear. She was afraid of Luna. She didn’t understand her. She would NEVER understand her. And Luna would never give her the chance.
“I… I don’t know, Luna. I don’t know why I didn’t care more about you. Maybe you were right. Maybe I was afraid of you. I didn’t understand you, I didn’t understand the night. It was unfamiliar to me. And I was… I was so young, so STUPID. So, so stupid.”
“Celestia…”
“Let me finish, Luna. I owe you this much. I heard a voice too, when the sun beamed into my windows and it struck me just right. It told me so, so much… It spoke kindly at first. Was it that way for you too?”
“Yes. Yes, it was.”
“Mine spoke of fire soon enough, of conquering light, of blinding beams of sun shining into every corner of the globe. It was sinister. It was wrong . But I drank it up, until one day… It told me to move against you, to strike you down with my own horn. It gave me everything I needed to do it. My body felt good . I was… I was ready. But I felt something when I went to strike you down. It radiated off of you in waves. The air was thick with it. I could feel the deepest despair. I could tell your mind was black with it, that your heart was crooked with it. And the voice was screaming at me not to falter, to attack while you were distracted. But I couldn’t do it. There was no way I could… do that to you.”
“That’s when you tried to reconcile with me, wasn’t it?”
“Yes. It was far too late for you, but that voice… That was the only reason I managed to survive. I still hear it. But I don’t need it anymore. You make me strong now. You and I are stronger than anything else.”
“Do you promise?”
“I promise.”
“I watched you for years. Decades. Centuries. I watched as time piled onto you. I watched you shudder, watched you shake with the weight of the cosmos. A part of me cared. Truly, it did. I couldn’t stand to see you like that. You didn’t have to come clean because at night, when you thought nopony was listening, I was there. As present as I could be at the least. I couldn’t watch anything but you, couldn’t think of anything but you. It was torture. Whether or not it was by your design is of no matter now. Even now I still remember how your thoughts hung in the air.”
“What do you remember?”
“I remember your fear. You knew your magic wouldn’t hold forever but you were worried that you wouldn’t be alive to see the day it broke. You feared a lonely death.”
“Like a lake left me alone in her depths.”
“Did you hear me calling? Did you hear me pleading for my release?”
“Of course. There were times where it was the only thing I COULD hear.”
“At times it was for vengeance. But there were nights — can I even call them that? — where I wanted nothing more than to help. Than to be loved.”
“I tried to love you. It wasn’t much of an effort, but I tried. Do you remember that? Before we were really at each others throats.”
A young, tired Celestia illuminated the hall with a flick of her horn. She could never quite understand why Luna kept her part of the castle so… dim. She supposed it was befitting of a pony of her demeanor but it certainly didn’t help her image.
“Luna? Are you there?”
“Where else would I be, sister?”
“Out? There is life outside the castle, you know.”
“Is there? I’ve never had a chance to see, you know. Nopony want’s to be awake while I’m awake.”
“That… is a problem, yes. But there is still nightlife. I know it doesn’t suit you but you could always try.”
“They don’t want to see me, Celestia. They want to see YOU. You make the crops grow, you make the flowers bloom, you heat the ground under their hooves.”
“Yes, but without you then there would be eternal heat. Drought. No rest, no quiet summer nights. We are meant to rule together, Luna. I can’t do this without you.”
Luna slipped out of her room, a sullen aura rolling off her. Her eyes were sunken and her posture was slack. The night sky captured in her flowing mane was outshone by the light illuminating the long hallway. She leaned against a wall, shutting her eyes against the offending brightness.
“Can you turn the light off? I want to be alone.”
Another horn flick and the light died, leaving the two of them in the cold dark. Celestias’ coat glowed from the inside out, illuminating the area around her. This light found itself caught and reflected by Lunas’ own purple coat. Like the sun to the moon.
“I wish you didn’t glow like that.”
“I wish you’d glow more. You know I love it when you—“
“Catch your light? Is that what you want me to be? A mirror? You’ve got plenty of mirrors, Celestia, I don’t see why you’d need me.”
She was taken aback by the venom in Lunas’ voice but she caught herself. Patience was a virtue, though Luna tried hers on a regular basis these days. “Because a mirror isn’t my sister. A mirror doesn’t have the same radiant mane, the same soothing voice, the same soft laughter. A mirror isn’t the Princess of the Moon. I can’t talk about how utterly silly Starswirl is to a mirror. I can’t play chess and get thoroughly trounced by a mirror. There’s quite a bit a mirror can’t do, you know. It’d help if you looked in one one of these days.”
That went too far, even for sisterly bickering. There was no reply, only a shattering of the glass lamp that hung between them and a swift exit from Luna. Celestia sighed and scooped up the shards. The least she could do was clean up the mess her sister had made.
Luna chuckled. It was a soft burbling from the very back of her throat, a slight display of mirth that made her face shine. “In hindsight I suppose that mirror comment wasn't half bad. You were definitely witty back then.”
“I’m still witty now. I just try to avoid insulting the ponies I love. Or steer away from genuine insults, at least. I can’t help myself but slip in a few pokes here and there.”
“You are still catty, that much is true.”
“I try. Did I ever tell you how I felt on the night you escaped?”
“I don’t believe you have. Not in full, at the least.”
Celestia was content. Terrified, but content in her fear. She knew what tonight carried on its winds. The bonds that held Luna — no, Nightmare Moon — would be weak enough for her to escape. It had been a long thousand years. Even longer without her dear sister. But how much of Luna was left after all this time? How much of her sweet sister still remained in the monstrous spirit of night that now enveloped her? Only time would tell.
And time did. It did more than tell, really. It struck with all the vengeance in the world. It sent her tumbling to the ground. It cracked her breastplate, it scorched her fur, it rendered her wings useless. It nearly overtook her. It was only through sheer will that she survived that initial barrage and it was only through her continued defiance that Nightmare Moon saw it fit to keep her alive.
“You are still weak.”
“I’d… hardly call myself weak. I’ve been raising the sun and moon for a thousand years.”
“Parlor tricks. You know nothing of power. What do you think you can do against me?”
“Nothing. It’s not my place to do anything. That is a task for another pony.”
“Oh? Do you have guards?” She stomped her hoof and a wave of energy ripped through anything around the two of them. It revealed nothing.
“No. I’ve told them to stay far, far away from me. From you. You aren’t going to hurt anypony but me.”
“Is that so? That’s fine by me, really. I don’t WANT to hurt anypony but you. Because it wasn’t them who imprisoned me. It wasn’t them who payed me no heed. It wasn’t them who denied my friendship, my affection, my sisterhood. It was you.”
Celestia struggled to her hooves, her frame battered and broken. She would heal quickly once this passed but for now her magic was entirely devoted to keeping her alive. “I never wanted your sisterhood. I wanted Lunas.’” She was sent tumbling to the ground again, her previous effort to stand against her assailant being for naught. It was more symbolic than anything else, really.
“That’s too bad then, isn’t it. She’s gone. You know that. I know that. You had best get used to Nightmare Moon, sweet Celestia, because that is the last face you will ever see.”
“You are strong, you know.”
“Not to sound immodest but yes, I do know. I had to be. And not for them, not for me. But for you. I missed you, sister.”
“I know you did. I know you did.”
The night grew darker still around the travelers. It crept around them, threatening to break through the flickering light provided by the campfire they huddled around. In contrast to the way the dark assaulted the bodies huddled around the fire, the stranger drew the darkness around her like a cloak. Some would argue it was a trick of the eye while others would insist it was dark magic but if the storyteller knew the truth she didn't seem quick to speak it. It was helping set the mood, as it were. While the night rolled on the speaker set into the next stretch of her story, her eyes closed as she spoke softly.
"I had a feeling."
"What?"
"I had a feeling you broke and there was this smoke that filled you up. But I wasn't thinking about you back then, was I?"
"Sister, please. You needn't keep reliving these moments. It's done now. Let it rest where it belongs."
"I'm afraid I can't let myself do that. When you learn to live as cloaked a life as I do, you never realize just how much you're hiding."
"Then tell me what you've been hiding if you must. The night is still young, after all."
Celestia steadied her breath, casting her memory back. The image was crystal clear in her mind. Interesting, how the brain chose to save traumatic events. She inhaled and the air in her lungs felt younger, crisper than she remembered. She remembered a sun a thousand years younger, an old friend long since gone, the heady aroma of dense flora, the faint tang of brass decorations in the air. She let her senses overtake her, drawing in the sweet spring air that she found herself in.
But the memory itself was decidedly sour. She had been out in the courtyard, playing chess against Starswirl (a favorite past time of his) when she felt something break. Break was the best word she could use. It was as if a sharp spike of loss tore through her heart, radiating out in waves through the rest of her body. She tried to hide the searing pain that rippled across her frame but failed miserably in the task.
"Princess? What was that?"
"I-- What was what, Starswirl?"
"Don't play dumb with me, Celestia. Was that Luna? What's happened?" It would seem as though the wizened wizard had picked up on it as well. He always was sharp as a tack.
"I... I don't know. Something bad. Something very, very bad."
"I suppose this means we won't get to finish our game of chess then."
"I'm afraid not."
Finishing the game of chess would've been nice (she knew in a few moves she'd have that silly old stallion absolutely beat) but sometimes fun had to put on hold. It was a lesson she was getting sick of learning, especially at her age, but when it involved her sister she was willing to do anything. Even if that anything was spy on her as consistently as possible. Celestia was without a doubt a favorite of the castle staff so it was more than easy to persuade them to act as informants for her when they could. There was hardly a moment where she wasn't aware of Lunas' whereabouts. It might've a little unnecessarily invasive, but she was doing it because she loved her. Luna had no idea just how powerful she was and just how much damage that power could do. And neither did Celestia.
But time passed and her vigilance slipped. After going long enough without any sort of significant outbreak, Celestia decided that the immediate danger had passed. There were still times that she could feel something creeping around the edges of Lunas' mind, something far more sinister than anything the two of them had ever experienced, but she payed it no heed. Luna was strong and despite her contrary nature, Celestia trusted her to keep a hold on things. That was one of the biggest mistakes she would ever make.
"I can't believe I just forgot about you like that. Well, I suppose I can. I was a lot more selfish back then, wasn't I?"
"Well. Yes. You were. Not that I hold it against you. We were young ponies once as well, in case you forgot."
"That's no excuse. I should've tried harder. I really should've done--"
"Celestia, stop. I tire of seeing you beat yourself up. You weren't the only one at fault, you know. There was so much more that I could've done."
"Like what?"
"Let me tell you my side of the story."
Lessons. Magic lessons. Luna hated them. There was so much useless talking involved. She wished that her league of tutors knew enough to just cut to the chase already. Show her the forms she needed to know. Tell her what words she needed to practice, what image she had to visualize to send that thrilling energy coursing through her. But they complicated it with moral quandaries and pointless philisophical debates about this or that. It was a waste of her time.
Nopony really understood that. Nopony but her. She hated having her time wasted. She had so little of it to spend in the light of the day so when she was forced to stay cooped up till the night fell it made her sick. Why was she not allowed to experience the joy and frivolity the sun promised her? Why should she stick to the shadows? Sure, they fit her the best, but wasn't it unfair? Unfair that dear Celestia got to spend the vast majority of the time in the light, whille she was relegated to the dark?
She had since learned to save her complaints, however. They were always met with stiff resistance. From the guards. From her teachers. From Starswirl. Even from Celestia.
"Luna, your posture is really far too rigid. The idea behind the spell is fluid so your form has to be as well. Try loosening up your shoulders a little, really let the magic flow through you."
Luna sighed heavily, bowing her head in frustration for a moment before summoning her determination yet again. She focused and then unfocused each muscle in her body in turn, feeling a calm slowly spread across her body. Before long it reached the base of her horn and she focused that feeling into the spell. A bright light began to cascade out of the tip, pooling around her hooves at first before steadily spilling out to cover the floor of the room they were standing it. And then, nothing.
"What went wrong?"
"I... I don't know? You did everything you were supposed to. The power needed to perform this spell should be well within your reach as an alicorn, even at your age, but something must be missing..."
"What? What could I possibly be missing? I've got the skill, the knowledge, the desire to learn anything you have to teach me. What am I missing?"
Her tutor Whitelight took a moment to consider the question, hoof raised to her chin in deep thought. Slowly it seemed that the answer came to her, along with a fear to deliver that answer.
"It's friendship. That's the only thing I can believe in. So many spells seem to use that particular magic as their rawest source of power, so perhaps..."
"Perhaps what? Is there something you're privy to that I'm not?"
"Perhaps you need to make friends is all. Proper friends. There's an awful lot you can learn when you start to make friends."
Just hearing the word made Luna want to retch. Celestia waxed poetic about the beauty and magic of friendship but she didn't buy into any of that nonsense. There were so many powerful sorcerers who hardly had an aquiantance to their name; why should she be any different?
"There is no lesson in magic, Whitelight. Do you know what I dream of when I dream of friends? Humilation. Exclusion. Betrayal. Dishonesty. Cruelty. There is no place in my heart for friendship. I have no time to worry about anything as petty as that. I hope you'll refrain from mentioning something like that in our later sessions."
And in a flash she was gone, the smell of ether and smoke filling the room. Where the Princess of the Moon once stood sat a heavy air of dread, a clear sign of things to come.
"I let the darkness around me cloud my judgement. How could I ask to walk in the light when all I saw were shadows?"
"There wasn't much you could do about that. I fear that once the Nightmare had sunk its fangs into you there wasn't much of a chance to shake it."
"That's not as true as I'd like to believe, I'm afraid. But we've talked enough, Celestia. What say you and I go for a quick little flight?"
"I suppose it's been a while since I've done nothing but felt the wind on my wings. You can lead the way. The night is your domain, after all."
After a thousand years of working ones way through the clouds flight became second nature entirely. There was no thinking about which way to pitch or roll your body, no concern for updrafts and jetstreams, only the joy of flight in its purest form. The night was full of promise and the bright moon hovered above the skyline like a gleaming beacon, drawing Celestia into the dark without fear.
Largely without fear, at least. There were still times, when she caught glimpses of Luna in just the right light, something would awaken in the depths of her heart for just a moment. Images of fangs, of wrought-iron battle armor dripping in shadow, and a palpable aura of malice. It nearly cost her her focus a few times and was starting to wear thin on her enjoyment of the moment. It seemed Nightmare Moons' appearance impacted her deeper than even she could imagine.
She was relieved when they finally touched down on some hill, far from the intrusion of civilization. It was plain that they could cover quite a bit of ground when they lost themselves in the act of flying. Luna was wide-eyed, drinking in the beauty that surrounded them. There was so much to see, really. It was something that Celestia had failed to properly immerse in the time before Nightmare Moon. Ever since then and especially after Lunas' return, her appreciation for the night had grown significantly.
And so too had her appreciation for its custodian. Luna was so young when she had been locked away and it seemed the centuries on the moon had hardly served to wear her down. Her coat shone in the night and her mane was carried like a perfect wave through the air. The sight of her standing there resplendent in the moons glow, purple coat beaming softly against the satin dark that they found themselves in, captivated her entirely.
"Do you know what the Nightmare showed me?"
"I can't imagine any of it was good."
"Oh no, it was all very sinister. But there's something very interesting that had only recently come to my attention."
"Oh?"
"It showed me what I believed to be every possible outcome, from you lying dead at my hooves to the opposite. Yet it never showed me any of this. It must've truly thought you and I were opposing forces."
"Nightmares have never been easy to reason with."
Luna seemed to find peace in this answer for a brief moment. Still something hung in the air, a jumble of words that raged insistently in her throat.
"I had never felt so alive then."
No response was provided beyond a worried look that only prompted Luna to continue.
"When I was standing above you. Seeing you beaten like that excited me. It felt right, like things were finally as they were supposed to be. It was as if there was something... spilling out of my dreams into real life. I can still see it, a danger seeping from my skull onto everything around me. Like a thick fog had rolled over my vision, as if a great dark blanket smothered the world while I slept. Do you know what that was like? I can tell you it was no way to live."
And like that silence rushed to fill the space where words had been seconds ago. Even the nights' song had been hushed, as if every insect and every blade of grass was rapt in attention. Celestias' breath hitched in her throat, pressing her brain for something to say. It was barren, laid open by the way the night had progressed. So her heart stepped up in its stead. If she couldn't form some string of carefully chosen words then perhaps the truth would work.
"There's something else I want to share with you."
