Derp My Life

Okay...for tonight to be perfect, I need some of the following:

-Alcohol
-Munchies
-Papers...?
or
- A pipe...?

Do they even have matches or lighters in Equestria...? I don't know....but maybe a little puff will "inspire" me...

SHHLP!

I put the bag on the counter, the bag so massive that it actually made a sound...Oh....my....Must not get greedy....

Okay...I just have to go upstairs, get a joint or two, and come back down to light that mother up!

I stumbled out of the kitchen and slowly made my way up to the first stair step, I looked to the left of me to see a smiling Derpy.
"Awww, I need hugs too..." Derpy said to me in a cute childish voice, her legs and arms wrapping around my right leg as I walked up the stairs...Destination: Twilight's Room...

TKKKT!

I quickly opened the door, Derpy smiling up at me as I stepped in the doorway.
"What are we doin?" Derpy giggled as she let go of my leg and jumped on the bed, I quickly kicked the door shut with my foot.

"Well...I am going to take this....downstairs....and...light it..."

I crouched to the drawer under the bed, slowly sliding it open to reveal a glorious set of treasures....

I quickly shoved all of my crap in my pockets; the axe cans, the psp, the earphones, and the joints....Derpy just staring at me as I pulled out one of the thin wrapped joint.
"Oh...that's a funny looking cigarette..." Derpy giggled as I stood up and started toward the doorway...but...something stopping me...

"Mhmm...Come here for a little bit..."

Derpy sighed as she tugged on my shirt, the time being....6:50.....wow....I've got lots of time to screw around...

I walked forward to the right side of the bed, Derpy immediately laying down across the bed, her mouth in perfect height for my fly....

"I never got to finish eating.."

Derpy giggled as she unzipped my pants, my embarrassing erection poking her warm cheek.

"Mheheh...it's so hard..."

Derpy wrapped her arms around my waist and brought her lips closer to my dick...or more of bringing me closer to her....

"Mmhm!"

Derpy loudly exclaimed as she jerked her head forward, immediately latching her lips tightly around the head....

Oh my....

I grabbed Derpy's hair and tugged it lightly....this causing Derpy to giggle and violently shake her head....her tongue and warm saliva swirling around the head in a quick sudden movement....

"Ehem..."

I blushed and sighed as Derpy smiled up at me, more and more pleasure building up as she jerked her head back and forward..

Okay Orion...Just don't worry....you have lots of time left...you could totally go to town and buy crap....

SLLCH! SLLCH! SLLCH!

Derpy shoved me in her mouth as much as she could....I swear......the pleasure....sooooooo fucking great...

I really shouldn't doubt Derpy...

"MMNGHM!"

Derpy exclaimed as she got a mouthful of sticky white, her eyes widening and her face blushing.

GULP!

"Mhmm, that was faster than I thought it would be...."

Derpy said as she wiped her mouth with her hoof, giving me a cute smile...

In an instant...it was over....I didn't even last 10 minutes.....how sad....

Derp my Life....