Derp My Life

Holy shizzle has it been a while since I wrote.....please accept this tiny update while I write the next chapter! >.<
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SQUEE!

I sit on the couch, Screwball and Dash both cuddling me while I stare down at a gazing Twilight... sitting on my lap....

Derpy and Vinyl....still resting.....

Meh...

"I want a kiss!"

Dash shouted out.....this reaction of her wrapping her arms around my neck causing the other ponies to join in.....

SQUEE!

All three ponies leaned in closer to me....their blushing faces coming closer and closer.....

MMMHM!

Before I knew it.....

All three ponies squished their tongues together on my face....

Dash's tongue eagerly thrashing around in my mouth, Twilight and Screwball both licking my lips....

And me.....just blushing and relaxing.....

"Hehe...Dash really knows how kiss....."

I thought to myself as Twilight and Screwball put their right arm on my shoulder....

Slowly scooting closer to me....

"Twilight....I had a bad dream..and...."

THUNK!

Twilight immediately fell off the couch and landed on her rump....right infront of Spike....

Screwball and Dash both sliding out their tongues....

"Umm.....What were you guys doing...?"

"We were playing a game! And I was about to beat Orion until you interrupted us...."

Dash said as she turned to me....her cute magenta eyes glistening to a narrow dirty look....

"Oh...Can I play?"

"NOOOO!"

All 4 of us shouted out......Denying the baby dragon....

"Spike! You can go sleep by Vinyl and Derpy if your scared."

Twilight nervously said as she nudged her head against my leg...

"No thanks...I'll just take a shower...."

Spike sighed as he slowly dragged his feet up the stairs....

ISH SOMEONE JELLY!?

Oh well.....I'm almost certain I didn't ruin anything....
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Meanwhile.....
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"Damn him! I can't believe he'd just steal Twilight from me....What does she see in him anyways? I've known her longer.....I've been there for her whenever there was trouble.....She dosen't think I know what's going on.....She thinks I'm just baby "Spikey-Wikey".....I'm a big boy......I know what sex is.......I think....."

Spike sighed as he paced back and forward....his angry breathing turning into a light gray smoke that withered away up to the ceiling....

"I'll show her....I bet "Orion" can't do magic.....but luckily.... I've had some time to practice in Canterlot.....I'll win over Twilight's heart with a spell from this book....."

Spike reached under his bed and grabbed a big brown book.....the brown cover torn and shredded, with a distorted face on the cover.....

"The Necro....Necro.....nom-icon....? I don't know....but it must be important if Princess Celestia had it guarded in a glass case..."

Spike put his claw on the cover and tried to lift open the cover.....but....it wouldn't budge.....

"Huh?..."

Spike uttered as he pulled with all his might....but still......nothing......

"....I can't even open a stupid book! No wonder why Twilight doesn't love me....."

THUNK!

Spike sighed out as he threw the big thick book across the room.....the book opening up and flipping through the pages by itself...

"Woah....Must be a new type of spell book..."

Spike said as he walked up to the flipping book.....the pages and pictures flashing faster and faster as the book reached it's final page....

The spell reading in a dark red ink.....Raising The Dead...

"Raising The Dead.....That must be it! I'll show Twilight how amazing I am at magic by bringing back a pony from the cemetery! Hehe....Orion.....prepare to be replaced!"