Derp My Life

As always....FULL OF ERRORS, PLOTHOLES......and this is part one out of four
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MMMMNGM!!!!

I blushed and laid my arms on Twilight's shoulders as she bobbed her head left and right....her warm wet tongue slithering through my mouth as Screwball and Dash both began unzipping my pants...

"Mhmm....You can go first Dash...Just make sure I get some cum...."

Screwball seductively sighed as she sat back against the couch....hugging my left arm while grinning up at me...

".....AHEM!"

.....

Twilight slowly slid her tongue out of my mouth....a long stringy thread of my saliva hanging off her mouth as all of us turned to Spike...

"Well....If you excuse me...I have to go prove my love to a certain pony...."

"I don't think Rarity is up this late..."

THUNK!

Spike slammed the door shut...silencing Twilight and therefore setting an awkward silence in the room....

I look down to see a greatly grinning Twilight.....her blushing red cheeks slowly coming closer to me...

MMMNGHM!

ZIIIIP!

Screwball hugged me tight.....her arms latched around my back as Twilight submerged her tongue back in my mouth.....

Thus leaving Dash to have my dick all to herself.....

"Mmhm.....Looks like somepony's ready...."

Dash sighed as she nuzzled her lips up against my dick....her tender warm lips comforting me with constant lip smacking kisses to the head.....

"Ehe....Just be careful...."

I nervously sighed out as I watched Dash's eyes lock onto my face....her immediate reaction being to blush....

SQQLTCH! MMNGHM!

Dash cried out as she rolled her eyes back.....savoring my dick as she globbed all over the head....more and more stringy saliva threading off her lips...

I blushed and watched in amazement as the hungry Rainbow Dash engulfed the head.....her warm sticky tongue constantly lapping at the tip....

"Ohh....That's good....."

I sighed loudly as Dash closed her eyes and sucked hard.....blushing as she puckered her mouth tightly around the shaft....

"Mmnh....Come here..."

Twilight seductively sighed as she brought her lips to mine.....her warm tongue creeping into my mouth as I hugged her tight....

"Mmmngh...."

Dash moaned as she bobbed her head down.....the tremendous speed of her mouth sending chills up my spine....

"Mmmhm....hehe..."

Twilight giggled....her lips nibbling against mine.....a dirty kinky smile spreading across her face....

MMMMNGHSLM!

Dash sighed loudly....a mixture of runny clear saliva and creamy white cum dripping off her lips and onto the floor....

"Mmmhm....Salty and sticky..."

Dash sighed as she licked her lips.....the stringy white cum glistening on her face....

"Just a little more should do it..."

Dash trailed off as she lowered her head back down to my pants...her bright streaky hair bouncing as she bobbed her head forward......her wet lips sucking at a tremendous force....
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Ahem......So Meanwhile......Back to the plot.....
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"Stupid Orion.....He has 5 other mares but no.....he just has to fool around with Twilight......Oh well.....At least Pinkie's not taken yet...."

Spike grumbled aloud to himself as he walked toward the edge of Ponyville....

....to the Ponyville Cemetery.....

DUN DUN DUN!

"Oh my....well this looks rather odd...."

Spike turned his head to the left.....there he saw a light brown pony, staring with an nervous look......

The hourglass cutie mark and the stubby crimson bow tie clearly pointing to who he was....

"Meh....I got nothing...."

Spike said to himself as he ignored Dr.Whooves and continued walking to the cemetery.....

"Uh....excuse me...but......That trail your walking on leads to a cemetery....."

"Yeah....and?"

"A baby dragon....walking to a cemetery.....in the middle of the night....with a very creepy book......sure to have spells and curses...."

....

"Yeah, and? What are you gonna do about it...? Tell on me!?"
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"Mmhm....Right there..."

SLCHP! MMNGM!

Twilight, Dash, and Screwball all sit at the bed....eager for pleasuring.....

Of course I start with Twilight....I mean.....Nerdy girls are the best to eat out.....No offense to Screwball or Dash.....

"Oh.....Ohh! Don't stop!"

Twilight moaned out as she hugged my head.....her legs opening wider for my face....

"Hehe.....just a couple more kisses...."

I chuckled to myself as I kissed her lips....the dripping clear precum dripping off my lips as I puckered my lips again....

THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!

"Who the hay could that be at this late...?"

Dash jumped up from the bed......immediately zooming out the room and downstairs to the front door.

"Who is it!?"

"Ahem! May I talk to the caretaker of Spike...? He's out in the cemetery trying to.....Resurrect the dead..."

"....Umm.....Twilight!......We have an uh-oh..."

....

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At the cemetery....
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"Okay...So I got the goats blood, the eye of newt.....and the random gibberish spell.....Celestia knows if I can even read this right....."

Spike chuckled to himself as he stood in the center of a pentagram....carved out of the dirt, and outlined with grass....

Spike felt good about the way the star came out....No crooked edges.....

"Ahem..."

Spike cleared his throat as he looked down at the book...opened to the page containing the satanic spell....

"K-Klattu..Barada..... Nikto....."

.....

The words were uttered.....but no response......

"I said.....klaatu barada nikto! Dammit!"

....

Still nothing....

....

Spike dumped the ram's blood down on the floor.....huffing and puffing grey smoke....

"No wonder why Twilight dosen't love me! I'm a failure at life....who can't even get Rarity....."

Spike sighed out as he sat down on the pentagram....the dirt outline.....dripping blood.....

"What the...."

Spike shuttered as he jumped up from the blood outline star....the shiny red blood running down the grassy hill to the first tombstone in the Cemetery....

Baron bon Stiesel.... a nazi pony.....

Spike ran down the hill to the tombstone....a bright red light shining out of the ground....

The top of the tombstone had a giant medallion of the eagle, standing over the ringed swastika....

"Oh....this can't be good...."

Spike thought to himself as he jumped up from the ground.....the dirt rumbling loudly......

"I need help..."

Spike panicked.....running away from the grave...and now running up the hill....towards the two big black gates....

....

As he ran to the top of the hill....Spike turned around to look back at the graves.....and to his surprise.....the whole row of graves had a giant whole dug up.....the shiny coffins shimmering off the moonlight....

"N-no......That can't be.....I'm sure I'm just....Imagining all of this...."

HEY YOU!

Spike jumped up as the Security Officer grabbed him by his hand and hung him up in the air....

"What's a little pipsqueak like you doing out this late!? Breaking in is against the law! You should be ashamed!"

NGUUUUUUH.......

Spike stopped looking at the guard infront of his face.....instead....looking at the dark shadow of a colt standing behind the blue vested pony...

"B-Behind....Y-You...."

Spike uttered to the guard....but it was too late....

As the guard slowly turned his head to the left.....the decomposing Nazi pony leaned in closer....

"What in Celestia's name...?"

SLLLLCH!!!

Spike watched in horror as the zombified pony took a massive bite at the Guard's neck....the watery crimson blood spilling all over...

THUNK!

As the Guard pony fell to the floor....he let go of Spikes claw...thus....Spike hitting the soft grass....and escaping from the feeding zombie...

"Okay....Okay....I gotta tell Twilight...She'll no what to do....I hope...."

Spike thought as he dashed out the cemetery.....well....more like speedwalked.....he is a baby dragon after all.....
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"What!? You say Spike is resurrecting the dead!?"

"Yes! I already told you for that...You invited me in.....then we took shots....then we took more....and more...."

Dr. Hooves sighed out as he drank his cup of brandy.....sitting at the table.....

"Okay! I got everything packed up....the alcohol....some food.....a first aid kit...."

Dash trailed off as she trotted to the kitchen....staring at the knifes......

"Yes!"

I said as I shot up from my chair....the overall drinking conveying into my body as an energy.....

Basically.....I was ready to kick ass.....and chew bubble gum....

I mean how hard could it be to kill a slow, walking, stumbling zombie.....let alone a slow pony zombie....

"Okay....everypony! You all know the rules....

If it's a zombie.....kill it......we have no spell to bring back the deceased ponies' soul.....

Don't get to close to any zombie....if they bite, scratch, or hurt you externally.....you are infected....

However....luckily for us....We have a protection spell....

So if you are bitten....Just run away....because the spell cannot protect you from zombie ponies eating your brains....

Now then.....

To save Spike!

If there's anything left...that is...."

The heroic Twilight said as she charged out the door....her horn glowing brightly to combust any zombie pony into ashes...

So all of us were off.....The 7 of us.....An epic zombie slaying team...or so we thought....

Honestly...our weapons:

-Frying Pan

-Big bladed Knife

Oh....and a pen?

I looked at the tiny narrow pen....a shiny silver ball at the end of one side....and a button....on the other....

BLEEEEEM!

I panicked and dropped the pen as a bright red light beamed out....sizzling the grass infront of Twilight's Library...

"Holy fuck!"

I stepped around the tiny smoking grass.....the smoke eventually ceasing....

"Well....another job well done!"

Dr.Hooves turned to me as I picked up the pen....

"Luckily I grabbed some of these laser pens before I left....You know how to work a laser pointer right.....?"

"Pssh...Of course I do....it's just.....I have a fear....for pens....alot of bad memories..."

....

"Hey! C'mon! We're supposed to be up there with the group!"

Dash said as she flapped her wings....tugging on my sweater sleeve.....

It's good to where my sweater....and now all clean!

Dr.Hooves dashed up...the pen in his mouth as we ran towards the cemetery...

Screwball, Derpy, and Vinyl taking the middle....and Twilight in the front....Let's kill some zombies!!!

Oh....and save Spike.....I suppose....

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