Derp My Life

Correctly written version!

Edited by veteranO'awesome
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"BACK TO THE HILL!"

Twilight shouted loudly as the flesh-craving zombies gathered into a large horde, the decaying ponies surrounding Twilight and Dr. Whooves in a moshpit. They valiantly fended off the wave of psychotic ponies....

BLEEEEM! BLEEEM! BLEEM! SHOOM! SHOOM! SHOOM!

Dr.Whooves and Twilight blasted the undead one corpse of a time....the messy zombie chunks flying all over Twilight the more she shot deadly purple lasers out of her horn.

Alas....only 2 zombies remaining from the massive horde...

"Hey brainmuncher! I got something you could chew on!"

Dash taunted....the mindless zombies walking toward Dash one by one.....

Dash turned around.....facing Vinyl who would give the signal when the zombies were in range....

"NOW!"

RAAAAAAWWW.......KSSSSSPPPLLCHHH!!!!!!!

Dash gave it her all and bucked her legs back.....the sound of the moaning zombie coming to a stop as the loud splattering sound emitted. The now decapitated pony fell limply to the ground...

"Again!"

Dash quickly drew her hoofs on the ground again....staring at Vinyl for the signal again....

"NOW!"

THUNK! SPPLLLLLLSHHH!

Dash turned around to the unknown sound to see the the light gray colt's torso....the bright red blood splurting out where his head should be....if it weren't kicked into last week...

"Hehehe..."

Dash chuckled to herself as she pushed the headless zombie to the ground....

But...

As Dash stared down the hill....

She realized the fact that only 8 zombies had been killed....

and there was still a whopping amount of zombies slowly dragging themselves up the hill....one by one.....

"Okay...Is anyone else out of ammunition?"

Dr.Whooves asked as he unscrewed the back of the pen...the smoking fried battery flying out to the grass...

"Come on! We'll fight 'em back here....Doctor, Vinyl....get behind us......"

"Spike..... Orion....Wherever you are.....I hope your safe...."

Twilight sighed as she stared up to the bright looming moon, putting herself in battle stance and lighting up her horn.

Standing her ground at the cemetery gates....ready to blast the rushing zombies....

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Meanwhile....
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"Mhmm....that tickles...."

Derpy giggled as she laid back against the bed....eagerly smiling down at me as I lapped the sticky white mess between her legs...

SLLCH....SLLCH....SLLLCH...

The loud sound of my tongue sloshing between Derpy's lips echoed through the quiet room....

"Mmmh....Make me cum again! I want to feed you more!"

Derpy cried out as I opened her legs wider....her delicious cunt becoming more soaked with the white sticky goop...

MMMNGHM....

Me and Derpy both sighed as I locked lips with her pussy....the white chunky goop dripping down my tongue....

"Ohh....eat more..."

Derpy sighed as I wiggled my tongue through her narrow walls....the more I prodded my tongue through her pussy....the more she would moan and splurt out the sticky sweet white goop...

"Ohhh......Ohhh!.... OHHH!"

Derpy screamed as I wiped my tongue on her G-spot....her body constantly convulsing against my tongue...

Just a couple more licks....

SLLLLLCH!

I slowly ran my tongue against her sensitive nub....Derpy gasping loudly.....

"Uhhh.....Uhhh..."

Derpy breathed heavily....her pussy moistening with more sticky precum....but I had to continue....

SLLLLLCH! MMNGHM....

As I licked her G-spot the second time....a heavy amount of cum splashed in my mouth.....the runny muffin juice filling up my mouth....

GULG!

Okay.....Now....One more lick should do it....

But....

I noticed Derpy was staring at me....with such loving eyes.....her warm arms hugging my head again....

"Make me cum.....I want you to eat it all...."

Derpy said as she stared down at me....biting her lip and blushing brighter and brighter as I slowly ran my tongue against her G-spot....

SLLLLCH....

"Oh Celestia!!!"

Derpy loudly exclaimed as her body shook....the massive cum splurting out into my mouth.....and down my throat....

''Mhmm....All good!"

I said as I wiped my mouth.....the sticky warm cum settling my upset stomach....

SQUEE!

I laid my head down on her crotch.....staring up at a smiling Derpy...

"Mmm....I love you...."

Derpy sighed out as she lowered her head down.....our lips locking together in a sticky wet kiss....

MMMHMM....

Derpy moaned out as I ran my tongue against hers...the clear sticky mess of saliva connecting our slimy appendages together...

"Ahem...."

Derpy and I both opened our eyes and stared at each other....our lips locked together tightly....

SLLLP....

Our lips unlocked....Derpy blushing and smiling at me.....

"Mhehehe....I like the way your tongue tastes....Gimme more!"

SLLLCH! MMNGHM....

Derpy wrapped her arms around my neck and shoved her tongue in my mouth....her warm wet saliva splashing together..

"Hey....Hurry up and get over here....I need something to kiss too...."

Screwball giggled as she stood at the edge of the bed....

Okay......I just have to....

SQUEE!

Derpy hugged me tight as I stood up from the bed....still holding Derpy while she continued to make out with me....

OH YEAH!

"C'mon.....you wanted to kill some zombies? Well now's probably the best time...."

BOOP!

In an instant....the moon looms over the dark empty forest.....

I look down to see Derpy....cradled tightly in my arms...Screwball pacing back and forward through the trees....

"Okay....So... Twilight needs your help to kill zombies because she sucks.....Not like me though....Not your best mare who loves you....

aaaaand......

who is going to help you out sooooo much that you'll have to eat me out later...and trust me....you will.... "

Screwball said as she trotted towards me....her face coming closer and closer...

MMMMNGM!

I blushed as Screwball forcefully crammed her tongue down my mouth...her warm sugary spit splashing all over my tongue..

"SLLLLCH....Mmh...."

I sighed as she brought her head back...my clear warm saliva hanging off her lips...

"Okay....I really hope you like this...."

Screwball nervously said as she walked up to a bare open space between the trees....

"What am I waiting for?"

DSSSSSHHHHHH!!!! PCHUUU!!!

The heavy roaring of thunder followed by a bright shock of lightning hitting the floor....

The dark gray smoke slowly clearing....to reveal a box!?

But....as I walked up.....and examined the box....I knew what it was.....

"The Mystery Box..."

I said to myself as I rubbed my hand against the cold wooden box...

The two question marks on the cover emitting a bright blue light...that ascended high up to the clouds....

"Hehe...I knew you'd love it! Now...Give it a spin!"

Screwball giggled as she trotted up next to me...her hoofs touching the edge of the box covering...

"On the count of three, Let's both open it..."

ONE........TWO........

THREE!

Screwball and I both lifted open the box....the bright shimmering yellow light making the forest much more visible...

"C'mon! C'mon! C'mon!"

I repeatably chanted to myself as the box flashed multiple guns and weapons....

Monkey Bombs, RPK, SPAS 12, Spectre, AUG, HK72.....

All of the guns eventually slowed down and the box finally came to a stop....

BLUM BLING!

The box loudly emitted as it stopped on my weapon...

"The Commando....."

I said to myself....amazed at the big black automatic gun that lied before me.....

"You should take it before it goes away..."

Screwball said as she leaned forward and held the gun.....a hoof underneath the ammo cartridge, and the other hoof ontop of the sights....

THUNK!

The box's lid closed by itself as the gun was taken....the bright light gone and the forest back to it's dark self....

"Okay! Remember! Aim down the sights....don't get to close...and remember to reload....I love you...bye!"

BOOP!

....

I turn around in a 360 degree radius.....Then it finally reaches my mind....

"THOSE JERKS LEFT ME!"

Both Screwball and Derpy are gone....but....she did leave me the box....

SHAAZAM!

I quickly run over to the box and open the top again....the loud jingle of the box playing loudly while the weapons flash before me....

Thundergun, Python, G11, HS-10, FN FAL, CZ75.....

BLUM BLING!

The box stops on the ray gun.......

HOLY SHNIPTZ.....

I stare at the tiny red pistol-sized weapon. with tears of joy running down my face....

the best gun ever.....

SLOWLY DESCENDING IN THE BOX!!!

I quickly lean forward and grab the gun at the last second....the box slamming shut just as I take my arms out...

Okay....If I've learned anything from The Mystery Box....it's that you never push your luck....

HNNGUH!

I sigh as I lift my self back to my feet....The Commando seems heavier than I thought it would be....

But none the less....

I stuff the Ray Gun in my right pocket....and.....

Wait, what's in my other pocket.....?

I pat my right pocket lightly...only to feel a hard plastic cartridge in my pocket....

I put my hand in and pull out....a long L-shaped bullet cartridge....obviously for the commando....

But....

I reach to the bottom of my pocket and pull out a tiny little cork....it's a small light brown capsule....

I eventually dig out the other 6....and shove them in my back pocket....

So I have a tiny Ray Gun in one pocket...Commando cartridges in another pocket....Raygun ammo in my back left pocket...

What's this....?

I feel a crumpled piece of paper in my back right pocket....but....that shouldn't be there...

I unfold it into a flat piece of paper....to my surprise .....it's a light gold scroll...

"From the desk of Screwball;

I have found Spike and have gathered everypony back to the Library....

Now, all you have to do is kill the remaining zombies....

Iv'e left the ammo from your guns in your pocket...along with this note...

I Love you,

P.S. I'll be waiting for your loving tongue in Twilight's room...."

Ahem....I have a feeling she's gonna be aggressive.....Oh well...

It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum!!!