Derp My Life

"Mmmh, you can kiss and walk, right?"

Lyra giggled as I held her in my arms, walking down the residential sidewalk from Cherilee's house, to wherever the hell that blue light was coming from....

After about waiting for 15 minuets, and 3 massive make out sessions....me and Lyra put our clothes back on and decided to go on a random adventure....

Hmm....Well obviously it's a Mystery Box...but I wonder if Screwball is still over there.....or....I wonder if anypony even cares about me....

Oh well....Fuck it...

SQUEE!!

I looked down at Lyra, giving me a big beautiful smile and wowing me with those bright shiny golden eyes...

MMMMMMWH!

I locked lips with Lyra in a tight warm kiss, still walking down the sidewalk into a large forest of trees....

"MMNMMMGHM!!!"

Lyra loudly moaned as I flicked my tongue at hers, Lyra automatically sucking on my tongue harshly, her eyes closed and her head bobbing side to side as she blushed more and more...

"Heh...It's so minty....and warm...."

I thought to myself as I blushed and continued walking down the dark creepy forest...

SQUEE!

I wrapped my arms around Lyra tight, hugging her as she hugged me tighter.....

I felt soooo loved, and warm!

It was going to be a long walk.....but I could make it.....

Especially with this short transition....

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Wooop!
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"What do you think I should wear?"

Pinkie blushed as she sat next to Twilight on the diner booth....Everypony in the downstairs level of Sugar Cube Corner...

"Hmm...well you don't have to weary any special costume....although I am going to wear my gala dress..."

Twilight giggled as she closed her eyes and blushed....no doubt thinking about her fantasy to screw around with a dress on.

I CAN DIG IT!

"Well, I think I wanna wear that Applesoosan costume....That sounds kinky enough...Right?"

Pinkie nervously questioned Twilight....

Twilight responding with support....and stuff....

"Please don't feel under peer pressure Pinkie, you don't have to do this if you're not ready-"

"BUT I WANT TOO!"

Pinkie quickly answered back to Twilight...

"I don't know what it is....But I feel like I HAVE to be eaten by him!"

...

"Ever since this morning, I haven't stopped daydreaming, and imagining about him..."

Pinkie said with a serious face.....for about a second....

"Mhhhmm...It's gonna be wonderful!"

Pinkie quickly grew a smile on her face as she closed her eyes and blushed....thinking about another DELICIOUS idea.

"Well, okay! I'm gonna put on my gala dress then we'll....practice...."

Twilight blushed as she stared at Pinkie....

"Ummm...well....I kinda made myself a promise...that the first pony to eat me should be Orion..."

SQUEE!

Pinkie giggled and rejoiced back to her happy self again.

GOD I HOPE SCREWBALL DOESN'T FUCK THIS UP....
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"So then I said to her, I hate to break it to you miss, but that's not a water-hose your holding."

Dr.Whooves drunkily sighed as he returned to a drunk, party animal stage....probably due to the fact that he hadn't thrown up all that alcohol....

"Hey! Spike! Let's....Let's go to that cemetery.....and KILL SOME ZOMBIES!"

HICCUP!

"Awww be quiet! I'm supposed to be grounded....or asleep...."

Spike sighed from up-stairs...the time being of course;

12:50...

HICCUP!

"Well,screw you then ya bloody wanka! I'm going to find....so and so-"

HICCUP!

Those were the Doctor's last words before exiting the library.....and going off to who knows where...
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Meanwhile....
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IT'S SO CLOSE! IT'S JUST A FEW TRIPS OVER THE HORIZON...

I chuckle to myself as I continue walking down the now dim lighted forest....Lyra nuzzling my neck tightly as I held her...

"Mmmmh! I'll never get tired of hugging you."

SQUEE!

Lyra wrapped her hoofs around my head, us both locking lips as the end of our journey came....

SLLLCH!

I lent back as we approached the Mystery box....a long sticky thread of saliva connecting Lyra's lips to mine...

Well...for a second...

"Mmmhm!"

Lyra giggled as she licked her lips...beautifully staring up at me as I set her down to the forest floor.

"Okay...Now....all we have to do...is hope we randomly get a good-"

I stopped my sentence and thought how weird it would be to tell her that we're going to get a gun... or weapon....

"...Gift!"

I randomly said at the last second....Very smooth....

"OOH! I like gifts!"

Lyra happily cheered as she trotted up to the box, the dim blue forest flipping to a bright yellow aura from the box as she opened it...

THUNDERGUN, WINTER'S HOWL, BABY GUN, WUNDERWAFFEL, CROSSBOW, PYTHON...

BUM BING!

The box stopped at....

"AHEEHEHEHEHEHE!"

....

I fell forward to the floor, staring up at that stupid teddy bear......The ominous yellow glow from the sky dragging the disturbed, warped teddy bear up, up, up to the heavens.....and away from me...

"DAMNIT..... Who knows what shitty gun I could have got.....and sold to Dr.Whooves for money...."

I sighed as the forest became dark and dead....Lyra lighting up the forest faintly with her horn as she hugged me tight...

"Awww, you didn't have to give me a gift....I love you anyways!"

MMMMMHHM!

I blushed and looked up at the bright blue forest trees as I laid down on the forest floor....Lyra ontop of me and giving me one hell of a kiss...

Heh...Lyra really likes making out....and I'm cool with that....Especially because she's so minty!!

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SUDDENLY.....AS THE BOX DISAPPEARS....
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"OH MY GOSH! I KNOW WHERE HE IS!!"

Screwball blurted out....ruining Twilight's kinky story in the Ferris wheel...

"He's in the cemetery.....Quickly! Let's all go!"

"BUT-"
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BOOOP!
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In an instant....I look around to see everpony I've ever fooled around with....

Twilight, Derpy, Dash, Vinyl, Screwball, Pinkie.....and Lyra still focused on kissing me....her eyes closed....

"ORION!"

I nervously panicked as Screwball shouted....lunging forward at me in a horrible painful....

HUG!?

"OH Orion! I missed you so much!"

Screwball cried out as she threw Lyra off me and gave me a embrace....and a warm sticky kiss....

"AWWWW!!"

Twilight, Dash, Derpy and Vinyl cried out as they surround me...all of them giving me tender soft kisses on the forehead...

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Heheh....this sure is going to be a fun conversation with everypony......

Please.....no erased minds Screwball....
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