The Table at the End

Episode 3

Fruits of Your Labor

APPLEJACK

“Good morning, Applejack.”

“'Morning.”

“How have your spa treatments been?”

“Hatin' every minute of it, thankya kindly.”

“How many have you been to?”

“6, so far. And they're brutal. Brutal, I tells ya!”

“You are going to the spa, yes? Run by Aloe and Lotus?”

“Yessir.”

“And it's... brutal?”

“Awful! Hor'ble! Absolutely demeaning!”

“How about you give me some of the details.”

“Well, alrighty. So Ah went to the spa the very next day after we talked. Picked up a pamphlet. That was the first sahn I was gonna hate every minute.”

“What was that?”

“60 bits! 60 bits, just fer an hour ah cushy treatment! You know what better stuff I could be buying with that money? Ah could be repairin' the barn, or workin' on those sick trees...”

“How are your trees, by the way?”

“They're fine, Ah guess. Not deterioratin', at least. Brandy 'n Barker've gotten better, actually. Is that you, or...?”

“If you work towards your goal, you'll begin to see the fruits of your labor. No pun intended.”

“I see. Well, thank ye kindly, then.”

“I'm not doing anything. You're making this for yourself. Now, about your spa day?”

“Oh, right. Anyhoo, I paid for one'v the cheaper opshuns, and they set me down on some weird bed. All of a sudden, Aloe starts rubbing me all over!”

“I believe that's called a massage.”

“Well, whatever it was, it felt mighty weird. Ah don't like ponies getting in my space.”

“Wasn't it relaxing, though? Relieving the tension in your muscles?”

“Yeah, I s'pose it was. Really helped around my withers. But Ah was right in the middle of that when who came a trottin' in but Rarity?”

“On the very first day?”

“Yeah. I was plum mortified. She nearly exploded out'o her skin. 'My dear Applejack,' she said, 'it is such a pleasure to see you here.'”

“Has she been trying to get you to come?”

“Yeah. But Ah was so embarassed. She asked what I was doin' there 'n everything.”

“And what did you say?”

“Ah panicked! Ah said I was just in the neighborhood and Aloe invited me.”

“Did you see Rarity any of the other days?”

“Nah. Turns out she only comes at that time once a week.”

“What will you tell her next time she sees you there?”

“Ah don't know! Can I tell her about you?”

“I'd prefer that you didn't.”

“Okay. What should I say?”

“I can't tell you that.”

“Thanks a bunch, pardner. Some help y'all are.”

“Find a reason for why you would need to come to a spa every day.”

“Well... Rarity says it helps her relax... I guess Ah could say I'm tryin' to relax a bit, like her. That'll boost her ego, make no mistake.”

“I hope that works.”

“Thanks. Need anything else from me?”

“Not really.”

“All right. See ya next week.”

“Oh, Applejack? Before you go.”

“Yes'r?”

“Try to make the best of it. You've got 24 more days to go.”

“Don't remind me. See ya.”

APPLEBLOOM, SWEETIE BELLE, SCOOTALOO

“Hey, Crusaders! Over here!”

“Coming, Applebloom.”

“So, who's this guy?”

“This here's the guy mah sister's been talkin' to.”

“I thought Rarity mentioned stopping by here now and then as well.”

“And I'd swear I saw Rainbow Dash here a couple of days ago!”

“Can I help you three?”

“Yeah, we just want to know who you are!”

“If that's all right, of course.”

“I suppose. If your sisters are all right with it.”

“O'Course! They wouldn't mahnd, honest.”

“All right, then. I help your sisters, and other ponies as well, with some of their problems.”

“Really? How?”

“Well, they ask for something, and I tell them how to get it.”

“I see.”

“Ooh! Ooh! Can he help with... our you-know-whats?”

“Probably, Sweetie Belle. Do you mean your cutie marks?”

“Hey! How'd you know?”

“You're the Cutie Mark Crusaders; it's pretty much all you talk about. Weren't you Cutie Mark Crusader Crêpe Cookers here the other day?”

“Oh, yeah. That didn't go over well at all.”

“Ah told y'all they didn't need that much yeast!”

“Anyway, can you help us with our cutie marks, mister?”

“Now hold on a second. Twilight said that not even magic can make a cutie mark appear before its time!”

“As it turns out, Applebloom, I can.”

“Really? No way!”

“Absolutely. Would you like to find out how?”

“Course Ah would!”

“Course 'we' would, you mean.”

“Yeah, that's what Ah meant.”

“Very well. Let me look...”

“So, what will I have to do? Tell me first!”

“No, tell me!”

“Hey, Ah found 'im. I get to hear first!”

“No, me!”

“Girls! As it turns out, all three of you have the same task.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Scootaloo. There's a crate being delivered for Celestia's cutie mark anniversary party. If you want to get your cutie mark, you'll have to get it yourself and personally deliver that crate to Princess Celestia at the library.”

“All right! Cutie Mark Crusaders Delivery Ponies!”

“Hold on. By personally, I mean only one of you can do it.”

“What!? But... we're Crusaders... We're best friends!”

“I'm not saying you aren't, Miss Belle. Nevertheless, only one of you can deliver the crate and earn your cutie mark.”

“But that's not fair!”

“I'm sorry, but that's the only option.”

“Aww...”

“Well, I know how I'm going to do it.”

“Now, hang on, Scoots. If we cayn't work t'gether to do it, then we shouldn't do it at 'tall.”

“Why not? I'm dying to find out what my special talent is!”

“Scootaloo's right, Applebloom. I've gotta find out if I'm going to be a fashion designer like my big sister!”

“But... but gahls...”

“I'm gonna get that crate first!”

“Not if I can help it!”

“...”

“I'm sorry, Applebloom. I really am. Remember: there are other ways to get your cutie mark than doing my task.”

“Yeah... but Ah think we've trahd 'em all already.”

“What would your sister say, then?”

“...That Ah gotta be patient, 'n wait for the proper time.”

“That's a good girl. Now, go catch up with your friends.”

“All right. See ya, mister.”

“Goodbye.”

RAINBOW DASH

“Hello, Rainbow Dash. Tea?”

“...”

“Ms. Dash?”

“Oh, sorry. I was just finishing this book. Daring Do and the Curse of the Cockatrice. It's my absolute favorite so far!”

“I see. How has your task been going?”

“I made into the preliminaries!”

“Congratulations.”

“Yeah, it was a real shock. In fact, that morning, I had just set up Thunderlane's house so that it would fall when he unlocked it.”

“Details?”

“Ah, right. It was simple, really. I short-circuited the lightning vein in his central column so that it discharged and dispelled the entire thing

when he unhooked the lock.”

“Ah. Good work.”

“Yeah. Now I'm certain to win the Grand Prix, right?”

“Yes. If you don't mind, would you come after the competition and share the details with me?”

“Sure, whatever.”

“So... are you good then?”

“Hold on. I actually have another request for you.”

“Oh? Another competition, perhaps?”

“No. It's actually about this book.”

“Do tell.”

“Well, have you ever read a Daring Do book?”

“I can't say that I have.”

“Daring Do is this adventurer that travels the world, discovering ancient artifacts and battling her foes wherever she goes! In this one, she returns to the rainforests of the southern continent to face against Ahuizotl. But Ahuizotl curses her with a powerful poison that causes her to slowly petrify. She must try to—”

“Where is this going?”

“Oh, right. See, Daring Do is in love with this stallion named Lifeline, and whenever she thinks of him, she's motivated by...'the fires of true love.' And I realized, if I ever want to be as cool as Daring Do, I'm gonna have to get a love interest too!”

“And so, you want to fall in love?”

“Yeah! You can do that, right?”

“Of course.”

“That's it, then! I want to fall in love!”

“Very well. Let's see what you've got to do... Ah, here we go. You have to build a trap to ensnare an earth pony.”

“What? What is that supposed to mean?”

“I'm not too familiar with something like that. Maybe a rope trap, or a pit? Would those catch an earth pony?”

“Well, yeah, but...I can't hurt an earth pony. That just wouldn't be right!”

“Then you don't complete the task.”

“I! But!... Fine. I'll do it.”

“Remember: details.”

“Got it.”

RARITY

“Good afternoon, Rarity.”

“Hello, mon ami. I have the most fascinating gossip for you.”

“Do tell.”

“I saw Applejack at the spa today.”

“Really? That's interesting.”

“I saw her last week, too. Apparently she's coming to relax before Applebuck Season. She even said that she was following my example.”

“Well, that's nice of her.”

“Applejack is the Element of Honesty. She has a tell the size of her barn. I know that's not why she's coming to the spa.”

“Oh? Why's that?”

“...Wow, you don't have a tell at all! Don't worry; I know you told her to do it. Probably for her trees, right?”

“So, how is your drunken escapade coming along?”

“Just awfully, if you must know. There are so few parties here in Ponyville, and even fewer that have alcohol. After all, Pinkie's the main attraction here.”

“Ah, yes. Pinkie.”

“Has Pinkie asked you for a task? No, that's impossible. She doesn't need anything. Anyway, I've made up my mind.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. As of now, I'll make my own party. That way, I'll be able to carefully control my drinking and with whom I interact.”

“Ah, very good idea. Who will come?”

“Well, I'd invite you, but you never leave that spot, do you?”

“Not really, no.”

“Well, that just leaves the rest of my friends. Oh, I do so hope they can come. Twilight, Fluttershy, even Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Oh, and Pinkie Pie. It wouldn't be a party without her.”

“I bet not.”

“Well, I'm off to plan. Wish me luck!”

FLUTTERSHY

“I won't do it! I simply won't!”

“Hello, Ms. Shy. How are you?”

“Don't try to play nice with me, mister. I'm going to report you to the police, and then you'll be banished, or thrown in prison, or, or,...”

“No, you won't.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Ms. Shy, your Stare will not work on me. I'm made of tougher stuff.”

“...You're right, I won't tell the police.”

“Correct. Now, tell me about your task.”

“I won't hurt the Princess for you. I won't!”

“Let's get this straight, Fluttershy. You are not doing this for me. You are doing it for yourself, and for Angel.”

“Oh, you're right. What can I do?”

“You have two choices. You can either get a gun and shoot Princess Celestia, or look for some other method to heal your rabbit. Your choice.”

“...Well, as a matter of fact...I've got a gun.”

“Really? Tell me about it.”

“Well, it's gray, with a big long end and a little hook for the hooves...”

“No, tell me how you got it.”

“Oh! Well, I went to the armory and, uh, asked for it.”

“And they just gave it to you?”

“Well, no. They said that it was worthless without 'ammunition,' so they gave the gun to me, but they wouldn't give me any bullets. So I... stole the bullets.”

“Wow! I'm impressed.”

“Oh, it was so scary. The hallway was so... dark, a-and there were guards everywhere. I had a satchel with me, so I put some of the bullets in. Then, suddenly, a guard saw me! So I flew out of the window! I don't think he knew who I was. Oh, I was so scared...”

“So, you have both the gun and the bullets. What's next?”

“Oh, I'm not going to do it. I couldn't. I think I'm gonna go back and apologize for stealing the bullets. Hopefully the Princess won't punish me too badly.”

“What about Angel?”

“I think he'll understand.”

“Okay. If that's what you want to do, I'll respect that.”

“Goodbye. Don't take this personally, but I don't think I ever want to deal with you again.”

“That's fine. Goodbye, Ms. Shy.”

“Bye.”

PINKIE PIE

“Hello, Pinkie Pie.”

“Hiya! And how are you today, Mr. Mysterious?”

“Please don't call me that.”

“Okay, Mr. Secret Stallion.”

“Don't call me that either.”

“How about Bob?”

“Bob?”

“Sure. As in yes-sirree, Bob! Anyway, Bob, whatcha up to?”

“Just doing my job.”

“You do your job at a restaurant? What kind of job is it?”

“I help people with their problems.”

“Oh, I see. So Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders all need your help?”

“I try not to share my work with others. It's confidentiality, you know.”

“Oh yeah, like my psychiatrist.”

“You go to a psychiatrist?”

“Yeah. I have issues.”

“What kind of issues?”

“I'll tell you... if you tell me your name.”

“...”

“Didn't think so.”

“While you're here, would you like some tea?”

“Sure! I love caffeine! It makes me feel all jittery!”

“On second thought, how about a nice salad?”

“No thanks, I've gotta get back to the kitchen. Before I go, though, won't you share one thing with me?”

“...”

“Pretty please?”

“...”

“All right. See you tomorrow.”

“Pinkie?”

“Yes, Bob?”

“...I enjoy when you stop by.”

“Really?! Thank you!”

“Now please leave me alone.”

“All right. Bye, Bob!”

“Bye. … I could get used to Bob...”