Dave strider in the land of Ponies and Magic

==> Dave: Enter Throne Room

You now enter the throne room, where you see the biggest, feathery asshole of a princess you ever seen. You already have some ill raps to drop on these ponies, because all your sick fires will hit the royal castle and you will drop it like it's hot. The princess looks so bright, and that is your cue.

TG: oh holy shit, its a princess

TG: where the heat get hella and the cold get gonna

TG: where the pimps are in the crib and drop it like its hot

TG: and all we got is the shades to protect

TG: to defect a hoof is to crup a fuck

TG: to see the sun is to bind yourself

TG: stand in awe of the sun bitch, or be sent to the lunar SHIT

Celestia: Oh my, you are one of those, are you?

TG: one of what royal butt????

Celestia: A foolish rapping pony....but as an alien. I should have expected as much, since no one knows what you are. Except for one pony.....but let us forget that, shall we?

TG: whatever so what am I doing here for???? I just got telebeamed out of my bed and god damn almost shat myself seeing you talking feathery assholes and on top of that can I get a fucking drink????

Celestia: Well, we honestly did not take you. You appeared out of thin air, and in the middle of the road in ponyville, mind you. As for the drinks, not just yet, alien.

ponyville what the fuck???? and fuck you I need a drink

Celestia: Yes, but please, try to be calm...and not so "fresh", alien.

TG: oh man you want to go princess??? you want to start some sick fires with the stride???

Celestia: Perhaps, if it can help fond some form of friendship between us.

TG: awww yeahhhhh lets turn it UP

You then to have the oddest rap off in the history of any space known to the multiverse, and afterwards, you are set free, and allowed to stay with the princesses student for a little while. You think that this is stupid, and you should buy your own shit, but the world does not use the currencies you have, such as boondollars or the US variety. Clearly, these ponies use bits, and you are hells of broke of those.

It takes a whole night for Twilight to arrive and look at Dave. She clearly may have seen a human before, but you are not sure. You follow her to a rail station to head to her home in Ponyville. You seem a bit confused, since you have no idea how ponies could even operate a train.

The train runs down the mountain, and you feel like you need sleep, but you can't sleep, you are too pumped about being on some alien world, and the fact you are on a train on the alien world, and there were drinks that are nice. Apples are your thing, and you were given three bottles of apple juice by Twilight.

==> Dave: Get off train, head with Twilight to treehouse.

You follow the princesses student, some book-savvy purple unicorn with little or no idea what you are even trying to say when it comes to your sick and ill beats and raps. clearly, you need to make a cultural exchange with this pony.

==> Dave: Make a cultural exchange with purple pony.

The purple pony is named Twilight, and just within the first five minuites, she bores you. God she talks and talks and talks. Even another friend of yours back home can compete in snoreville with this pony.

Read boring chat box text?

[Y]? [N]?

Of course you need to read this, despite the boring contents. You are in the shit now, you are making this happen, but before you can make it happen, you have to get to Twilight's house, which was in fact, a tree, and a library? This pony....really likes books for some reason. And even if you selected no, tough shit, you are doing this no matter what, you are making. This. Happen.

Twilight: Soooo, you are an alien. Some aliens tend to be more....violent.

TG: Yeah, my species is the aboriginal asshole ape we are all hells of violent and got the sick fires to defend or thrown down with hell, we even have spears and swords and shit

Twilight: Errrr....I do hope your "sick fires" don't burn down my house. I like it here, and the books are priceless. And on top of that, you are....well, pulling my hoof on the ape stuff, aren't you?

TG: oh gog you saw right through that??? SHIT, that was going to be my cultural exchange intro

Twilight: Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't realize, what's your name, Mr....?

TG: dave I go by dave strider bow before your new alien overlord pony

Twilight: You can't really be an overlord, since the princesses control everything. It's sort of a naughty no-no here. And besides, you can always go back to the cell when you try anything.

TG: oh hell no why the FUCK would I go through that again???? anyway, is there some dark bed I can sleep on, im tired as fuck and needing some sleep

Twilight: The spare bed is in the basement, next to the lab. I realize that apparently, you have had a rough time in the prison last night, so go get some rest, we'll talk later when you refresh yourself. Oh, and do mind the slime, it's all over the floor down there.

TG: slime, what slime??? is it ecto SLLLLIIIIIMMMEEEE??????

==> Dave: Fall on floor, then roll down the stairs.

You slip on some of the slime, which may or may not be ecto slime, and hit the floor hard, but it doesn't end there, since you fell into the doorway to the basement, and down the stairs.

YOU WERE WARNED ABOUT STAIRS BRO! YOU WERE WARNED DOG!

==> Dave: Attempt to get up off of floor and into bed.

You fail to get up off the floor and into the bed. You were knocked out by hitting your head on the hard floor and you are now bleeding. Twilight comes down and gasps, and get you into bed.

Twilight: I did warn about the slime, you know.....