You are now Dave Strider, a human with no idea of life but how to be cool. He is so hella cool, that he thought a medallion might give him awesome irony powers, but instead, it transported him into Equestria, where he must know how to co-exist without his friends back come, and make new ones in this new world of friendship, magic, and talking ponies.

Shit is about to get real.

Note: There is quite a lot of "buy some apples" language on this, but that is Dave's flow. Also, the use of Dave's typing quirk, which uses no normal conventions of the typed word, is prevalent during his chats with all others.