Stubbing second scenes and starting staring shows

Chapter 4

Wanna try a thought experiment? 'Course you do!

Picture this: A horse.

And not just any horse, a purple horse. A talking purple horse. A talking purple horse with wings and a horn. A talking purple horse with wings and a horn, filled with more magic than an entire book series about a boy with a lightning scar on his head, with an abnormal fear of suitors, inside a castle completely surrounded by suitors, and a universe run by a deity with Michael Bay syndrome.

Now you may be asking, "Why the hell did you just tell me imagine that?" If you are then don't worry, I have a perfectly good explanation. A scientific experiment is something that can be conducted right? Well then, let's do it.

Twilight Sparkle was galloping faster than a black Friday shopper to anywhere except her study. Yesterday the mare became the first pony in recorded history to get "posterphobia", and unfortunately for her, the pony in her study wanted to talk to her about well, posters.

She pounded down the spiraling staircase, leaping over the entirety of the last landing of steps. She raced across the long smooth stone hallway in a matter of seconds before sharply turning into the left corridor.

Where was she going? I have absolutely no idea, and neither did she.

"Runrunrunrunrun. Don't think. Just run." With that that single-minded mindset she flew down the flight of stairs at the end of the corridor and burst into the foyer of the castle's south entrance. Without a second thought she crossed the foyer for the connection to the dinning hall. A few moments later the mare trotted back into the foyer and turned her attention on the painting adorning the back wall.

The painting was a choice piece of some foreign characters in the shape of a gate with a simplistic skull on top. "Is it just me or is the frame tilted half a degree to the right? Wait no! Not the time for this. Keep running!"

Re-entering the dinning hall she ran past (and through) the numerous chairs, which were by pure coincidence scattered within the room rather than lined up at the table.

"This is it. All I have to do is get through here, go up the grand staircase, lock myself in my bedroom and I'm home free!" Twilight's plan was flawless, or so she thought for seven seconds. As soon she reached the end of the dinning room she spectacularly crashed into a green and purple mass.

"Oww... Twilight, why are you running like your Arnold Schwarzeneighger for a chopper?"

"Sorry Spike I don't have time to talk!" Ignoring the pain she stood up and exited the room.

"Wait I came to tell you that-!" Was all Twilight heard before she zoned out again. She accelerated back into her reckless galloping pace and charged up the colossal staircase that connected the ground floor to more residential parts of the castle.

The climb up was a blur for her. She placed her hoof on the first step, then the next thing she knew she was turning the lock to her bedroom door.

Flopping to the floor she finally allowed herself to relax. Her bedroom was her sanctuary. As long as the door in front of her was locked nopony could bother her about anything. Including posters, partners, or even princess duties.

She closed her eyes and let out a content sigh. The actual maze event wasn't due for another two days. So today she was going to experience procrastination for the first time, and shirk her duties until dinner.

Eyes still closed, she ambled towards her bed by memory. She climbed on top of the mattress and made her way to the middle of the spacious bedding. Once reaching her destination she unceremoniously let go of herself and dropped into the bed's fluffy expanse. Too tired to bother with blankets she settled for a pillow instead. Blindly reaching around for one. On her third try she felt something soft, not wanting to use her muscles she lazily rolled over on top of it and enveloped it in her hooves.

"This is Heaven~" Twilight kept her eyes firmly shut. At the moment she wanted nothing more than to just sleep through the day. No suitors, no Flim and Flam, no Trixie, just her and her pillow. Her soft, warm, leather jacket wearing pillow. She was half way down the road to dreamland when it hit her. Pillows don't wear leather jackets

The Alicorn ripped her eyes open to find herself face-to-face with Sunset in her human form blushing as bright her namesake.

"H-hey Twi..."

Springing back, Twilight landed on the very edge of the bed and teetered off. She re-emerging from the bed's end with a blush of her own. "Sunset! Wha -what are you doing here? "

"I came to talk to you... Why were you trying to mount me?"

"I uh- thought you were a pillow?" Twilight tried hopefully

"That doesn't really explain much."

"I know! Sorry, I had really tough day and so as soon as I entered my room I shut my eyes closed, and I was reaching around for a pillow I felt something soft-"

"Which was my boob."

"Anyways I'm really really sorry for ... Mounted you." Cringing from the awkwardness the situation was she tried her best attempt at a diffusing smile. Apparently didn't try hard enough.

Sunset winced at the sincere, but painfully misshapen smile. "Well I'm pretty sure you didn't do that on purpose. Besides I have more important things to talk about."

"... Like what?"

"Like a certain poster about a certain pony."

"Oh come on! How do you know about that? You're in the human world!"

"It was posted on 4chan."

"Who is this "4chan?"

"N-nothing. You don't need to know." Sunset looked away, blushing once more.

Note to self, research "4chan" "So you were saying?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, is that poster real? Are you actually holding a contest for your coltfriend-to-be?"

"Actually depending on who wins it may be a marefriend..."

Anyways no, poster isn't real. There was an error during printing, but unfortunately I can't cancel the contest. Too many of the contestants have already arrived to call it off."

Sunset took the information in. So the poster is fake, but the prize was still up for grabs.

"Do you have any other business in Ponyville Sunset?"

"Um, no. Why do you ask?"

"I know that you care about me and all, but did you really have to come all the way here to talk to me? You could have just sent a message."

"Well about that... I was planning on competing."

Twilight who was caught off-guard by the answer. She stared blankly at the girl in front of her. "What."

"Yeah, I'm going to compete in the maze. Can't be that hard right?"

Twilight made a mental checklist. So the pool of ponies I potentially have to kiss is: two frauds, a magician, and now; someone who isn't even a pony." "Why in Equestria do you want to compete?"

Sunset Didn't answer. She looked like she was trying to making a difficult choice. After a few moments she came to a decision. She took a deep breath and spoke. "Twilight your my friend right?"

"Yes." She replied without hesitation.

"What if I wanted to be more than that?"

"... Come again?"

Sunset steeled her nerves and prepared to go through one of the most important moments in her life. "Twilight I-"

Sparkle!

In an act of perfect timing, Trixie barreled through the door the previously locked door. Destroying both the lock, and the mood.

"Trixie?" Twilight exclaimed in surprise.

"Sparkle!"

"Trixie?" Sunset said shocked.

"Not Sparkle?"

"Trixie!" Sunset spat.

"Shimmer?" Trixie was not expecting company. "Twilight!"

"Y-yes?"

"Why is bacon girl here?"

"Uhh... "

"Twilight!" Sunset regained her attention.

"Yes sunset?"

"What is she doing here?"

"Hey, Trixie asked first!" The magician impatiently demanded

"Like Tartarus you did!"

"How dare you speak to the great and powerful Trixie like that!"

Sunset scoffed "More like the cheap and egotistical."

"You. Did. Not." Trixie's voice lowered dangerously

"Deal with it!"

"Come at me b- where is Sparkle?"

Sunset snapped out of her raged tunnel vision and looked around her. Indeed there was a distinct lack of Alicorn in the room.

The two stopped arguing and looked around. Although the bedroom was fairly large, there was no obvious places a full-sized pony could hide in. Sunset opened the door to the bathroom but that too was empty. She searched the bed, the drawers, at the end she gave up and instead opted to enjoy the view the room's window provided. Afternoon was starting to give way to evening placing a dim orange tint on the town. She realized that it had been more than several years since the last time she was in Ponyville. Much had changed since then. The most obvious change being an entirely new castle. It practically screamed "notice me senpai" to the royal Canterlot castle that was visible in the distance. For Sunset though, the biggest difference was Twilight. More specifically how she felt about her.

Trixie spotted Sunset staring out the window and went over to the reminiscing girl. They shared companionable silence, as if their heated argument never happened. Trixie looked at Sunset's unfocused eyes. It didn't take a genius to know what was going on in her head.

"You like Twilight."

"Huh?" how did she..?

"How does Trixie know?" Sunset could only nod, dumbfounded by the mare's mind reading. "You have this look in your eyes, the same one I had."

"So you like-"

"Yes, Trixie also likes Twilight Sparkle. That's why I'm here. To compete."

Right, duh Sunset mentally smacked herself at the obvious answer. "So that makes us rivals, huh?"

Trixie gave a wry smile. "Yes, yes it does." She turned her gaze back to the beautiful panorama. The view was fantastic from the bedroom. Any pony (or person she added looking at Sunset) with the privilege to have this vantage point could see all of Ponyville. Every house, every street, every mob of well dressed ponies, the Everfree forest-

Wait what?

Trixie doubled taked and looked back at the mob. A herd of ponies, dressed to impress were all galloping down the same street. Spearheading the charge was a purple pony who was a little ways in front of the group. On closer inspection the pony was not leading, but seemed to be running away. Which probably meant...

"Found her!" Trixie and Sunset said simultaneously. In perfect synchronization they took off, eager to find Twilight again.

"Well I can't think of a single reason I deserve this, but that's not stopping it from happening now is it?"

Twilight cleared another alleyway and came to a four-way intersection. More gift bearing suitors prevented the use of the front and left paths, so logically she turned into the open right. Right, left, left again, straight, Twilight's mind was devoted solely to these commands as she tried to lose her chasers.

"This is starting to look like one of those "Agent Sweetie Drops" movies that Rainbow likes. Only difference, I'm not cringing at it's cliche character, I am the cliche."

Forward, forward, back, back, left, right, left, right- no straight. Twilight narrowly avoided a head-on collision with one of her potential bride-to-be's. After she put some distance from the mare she realized the mare was none other than Zecora

"Seriously Zecora?" She yelled at the zebra behind her.

"Alas, 'tis true. I am in love with you! She giggled back

Twilight groaned. Zecora was a dear friend to her but she was a friend.

Ponyville's Alley system sprawled throughout the town. During the construction of the residential district the pony in charge of operations made a grievous error. The specialist was called up from Las Pegasus and read the blueprints in the Imperiallion system when he should have been using Maretric. His mistake caused the houses to be smaller and in turn, the spaces between them larger creating an expansive backstreet.

Twilight recalled this history lesson from one of her books on Ponyville history. She never thought that such an accident made before her, and even her parent's birth could benefit her. "Thank you unnamed construction worker. You have unintentionally saved me from death by embarrassment. The ruination of your career was not in vain" She muttered her gratuity and sped onward.

She took in her surroundings to try and get a sense of direction. Specifically she looked for a telltale landmark she could use. Passing by one of the alley's entrances she spotted a god-sent street sign. "Coltleview drive... That's near the Apple farm. I can hide there!" She quickened her pace with renewed enthusiasm. Her prize lying just beyond the intersection. "Come on, come, on. Almost there..."

"Ah, there you are princess!" At the ally's intersection a white stallion stepped forward. "I finally have a chance to talk to you. Might I say you absolutely ravishing tonight, almost as much as me!"

"Sorry Prince Blueblood! I'm afraid I need to go and do uh... Princess-y stuff!" She quickly fired off a teleportation spell and effectively bypassed the egotistical blockade without missing a beat. However she was left not without chills from the Princes' comment. "Ravishing? No, just no."

Twilight broke free of the backstreets and emerged out into the setting sunlight. The sudden change in lighting made her squint a little, but stoically she pressed onward. The only thing separating her, and the safety of the apple farm's barn was a small field and a picket fence. Small potatoes compared to her Alleyway venture.

As the barn approached the last of her worries fading away was the thought "Surely Applejack is fine, right?"

Funny how she keeps assuming this

Applejack was in the barn forking hay to be dried out. The task was tedious and labour intensive, but with her lifestyle she was more than use to it. She simply opted to lose herself in her work which made things considerably easier. Being able to zone out proved useful on many occasions, especially when she was less than eager to conduct the repetitive action of pitching the oversived fork. However, this time around her useful skill was nearly fatal.

Like an old western movie the barn doors slammed open, causing the farmer to leap into the air and flush whiter than the picket fence she whitewashed that afternoon.

Twilight hurriedly entered the barn and shut the doors behind her. She waited a few moments, the last few days of experience had taught her to never assume she was safe. Ten seconds past... Twenty... Thirty... Convinced she slumped in relief. Safety at last. She turned to face the barn's interior to see two things. 1: a rather dangerous looking pitchfork, and 2: a ghost holding said pitchfork.

Twilight's mind broke down. In front of her stood a sheet white earth pony mare. Except she wasn't standing, she was floating.

The first thing that Twilight thought was "Huh, that disproves the "Granny Smith immortality" theory." Then she noticed the ghost's features. They were definitely not Granny Smith's, but instead resembled Applejack. However, something was missing from the look, something like...

Twilight looked above spirit jacks' head to find her signature stetson floating higher yet. The ghost is Applejack confirmed.

"Umm... Apple? Are you alright?

"... Error. Applejack.exe is not responding."

"Okay I found out that my friend runs on windows, that's not weird at all." She said in utter confusion. "Oh well at least she's not blue screening."

At that very moment Applejack rippled from ghastly white to a uniform LED blue.

"I spoke too soon." sighing she got on the task of fixing her friend. "Lets see if I remember that programming book. C\ (run) > .exe?"

The command "Choose directory" projected on Applejack's sides.

"(C:)/windows/system/Applejack.exe"

"Applejack.exe is not found"

dang it Strapped for ideas she returned to her memory. Shuffling through the figurative files of her mind. A worn document here, a dusty cabinet there, when finally-

"I know! Ctrl+Alt+Del!"

"Gah! Applejack fell to the ground and returned to her standard orange coat.

"Glad to see your back to normal Apple Jackson" She chuckled.

"Ugh, Twi, y'all did not just make that joke."

"I didn't, the writer did."

Still groaning Applejack got to her hooves. "Twi who in the tarnation is this writer fellow?"

"Well you see Applejack, this barn has four walls right?"

"Yeah, yeah it does."

"Well I just broke the fourth one."

"... Hun are ya feelin' alright? That ain't make a lick o' sense"

"I know! But with the day I've been having so far I don't care!" Twilight gleefully started giggling. Apparently finding the conversation to be hilarious. Her laughter grew in volume until it rung throughout the barn.

While the princess laughed uncontrollably Applejack took the opportunity to check her surroundings. She was still in the barn. The only difference being now the room contained a maniacal mare.

"She has the cutest crazy laugh" sprung into Applejack's head. "Wait no! Bad Applejack! Now ain't the time tah be thinkin' 'bout that kinda stuff!"

"Why not? Interjected her subconscious. "Y'all are here all by yer lonesomes'. Y'could have yer way with her while she's still nuttier than cousin Lunar Harvest." Applejack's pervy side ended off with a wink

Sh-shut up! And don't ya wink at me, ya'll ain't even have a face!"

"Oh, but ya didn't deny that ya want tah mess around with Twilight~"

"No! Yer just mah imagination. Ah wouldn't do anything like that tah Twi! Ah most definitely ain't in love with Twilight!

"Ee-yup. Sure ah believe ya"

"I ain't-"

"Applejack, you know you're monologuing right?"

Applejack froze. A blushing Twilight stood in front of her. Applejack realized that she was voicing her thoughts. "Ah, Uh- 'Course ah do!"

"And what was that part near the middle? Did you say that you want to..."

"Horseapples she heard! Celestia help me, ah just told mah crush I want tah do her. Please let something happen to end this conversation, anything!"

It seemed that Applejack was far more luckier than Twilight, because her prayers were immediately answered. The barn doors burst open and the suitor swarm started flooding in. They almost resembled an angry mob if you replace the torches and pitchforks with candy and flowers. Either way, an angry mob is always an effective conversation killer.

"What the- how did they find me?" Twilight stared in disbelief as her safe haven of the Sweet Apple Acres barn was destroyed before her eyes. A remote location such as itself shouldn't have been so easily found, but it was. How...

She chanced a look down at the ground and saw a trail of white hoofprints leading to her. The picket fence she had climbed over must have had wet paint on it.

"[Swears and profanities that'll change the story rating if I actually wrote it]" She swore as the tsunami of ponies reached her. The last thing she saw before she blacked out was a explosion of light, and what looked like a horribly disfigured goat.

Author's Note

Sorry for late update
I was in Vancouver (Or Vanhoover)