Chapters Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Chapter Two
I pulled into my driveway, the outside light turning on as we drove in. The rain was coming down harder now, and it was starting to hail. We managed to get Brittney inside and onto a couch without getting too much wetter. I put a hand on her neck and one on her chest. Her pulse was… slow? Fast? Probably would help if I had the slightest idea how horses were supposed to work. Worse, I could feel my legs starting to shake. My adrenaline wouldn’t last too much longer. We had to get her stable. I didn’t think hypothermia would be an issue once we got the heater on. It’s not like she was in the rain all that long. Wet fur, though, wasn’t going to do much for her.
“Erin, grab some towels from upstairs,” I said, heading to the bathroom. We kept a couple dry towels in there, which I grabbed. On the way out I flipped the heater back on. Cold air started to cough out of the vents as I bent down in front of the couch. Just before I started drying her off, I paused. Was I really looking at a “my little pony?” The body shape, especially those colors and face, were familiar, sure, but not the kind of thing I expect to see in real life. Figuring out however the heck Brittney had become a pony was top of the list to figure out, right under “get her safe” and “comfort bawling girlfriend.”
Speaking of her, Erin came down the stairs with more towels. We started drying her sister off, and dang if that wasn’t a weird feeling. Her legs bent in ways I didn’t expect. Every time we’d touch a new muscle, it’d tense up before slowly relaxing. They were strong, too, especially the back legs. Makes sense, earth ponies were always the strongest of the lot.
Hang on a second, was I really comparing a TV show to real life? No, no, whatever the heck was going on, Brittney looking like this was a coincidence. Maybe she made a wish that went badly. She really liked ponies – and I mean really liked them. She went to just about every convention she could, and went all-out on her costumes. Not that they were ever great, but she tried.
“Hey,” Erin said, “I’ll get her… tail. Dry her hair.” We switched places and I started toweling off the sparkling mane. Surprisingly, it wasn’t the rain that made it do that. There were actually parts of her hair that were reflective. I went a bit more gently as I dried off her face. I reached a towel up to dry off her ears, and she stirred. Erin and I froze, but Brittney didn’t do anything else.
“Careful,” Erin said. I went back to her ear, trying to dry it as carefully as I could manage. It wasn’t until I finished the second one that Brittney started to move again. She licked her lips and groaned. Her back legs stretched out, and Erin got out of their way, moving in front of Brittney’s head. She quickly dried her own hands out before putting them on either side of her sister’s head.
“Britt? Are you waking up? Are you ok? Do you feel hurt?” Erin’s face was dry, but I could hear the pain in her voice. Brittney’s eyelids twitched, but didn’t open.
“mmm handsss feel we-ahd…” she mumbled. She twirled a hoof around, then fell still again. Erin rain her fingers through Brittney’s mane, then leaned in and kissed her sister’s cheek. I bent down next to her.
“She’s going to be ok for tonight,” I started. Erin started shaking her head. “I mean she’s not freezing anymore.” The air coming out of the vents had graduated from dank cave to vaguely warm and dry. “You need to get dry,” I added, looking at her dripping clothes. Erin looked down as well.
We went upstairs, put Brittney in her bed, and changed. She grabbed some clothes from the closet and went to the bathroom to change. That was a bit unusual, and it seemed to take her longer than it should have to change clothes, but I was trying to clear my spinning head. I tried to call Alan. The last thing we needed was our other roommate coming home right now. Unfortunately, the storm must have been messing with the signal. I couldn't get through.
I was so glad they lived with us. I couldn't imagine trying to find them another place to stay or having to explain to even more people what the heck was going on. When Erin came back in, she looked up at me, eyes tearing up. I held her closely and she rested her forehead against my chest. We sat down on the edge of our bed.
"So..." I said.
"What just happened?" she said. "My sister... she's a pony ?" Her voice cracked on the last word. "I mean, has she always been like this and she... or what if she doesn't remember me? Nick, what's going to happen?"
"I don't know," I said quietly. "I wish I did. But she's as safe as we can make her, and we can't do anything until we find out more."
"And me... I'm pink?"
I kissed her head. "We'll figure this out. I swear to you, we'll figure this out."
She took one of my hands in both of hers. “Um, so tonight… I’m worried what will happen to Brittney if she just wakes up by herself. I kind of want to be there for her when she… you know… finds out.”
“Yeah, I get it.” I said. “She’s… she’s going to need a lot of help.”
“I can’t believe any of this is real.” Erin said.
“Me too.” I agreed.
Erin stepped back again and looked up at me. She bit her lip before asking, “Do you think… she might have done this on purpose?”
“What? No!” I said. “I mean, yeah, she really likes ponies, but…”
“She really, really, likes ponies.” Erin said. “Haven't you ever been in her room? She has like twelve plushies and all the pillows and blankets and like a million little figures…”
“That’s… kind of normal…” I said, feeling flustered.
“And she has all these drawings of herself as a pony. Nick, she looks exactly like her drawings. She has the sparkling hair and the tattoo and everything.”
I remembered a little bit about Brittney’s OC. “No, because her character has wings and a horn. She doesn’t have either of those.”
“Maybe she’s not done changing! Or maybe, whatever turned her into a pony couldn’t pull off the wings and horn!”
I raised an eyebrow.
"Nick, all I know is my sister is way, way into this show and now she’s turned into one of them. I’m just… I don’t know what to think.”
She was quiet for a few seconds. “Nick… do you… know anything about this? Tell me the truth, do you know what happened to us?”
She looked up at me with an expression somewhere between “about to cry” and “about to punch.”
“No, of course not,” I said. “I have no idea why Brittney’s a pony, or why you’re pink.” I put my hands on her shoulders. “We are going to figure this out. Whatever the heck happened to you two tonight, we are going to find out how it happened and fix it. I promise I’m not going to rest until you’re both back to normal.”
Erin looked to the side, then back up at me. “Are you sure you don’t know anything?”
“I swear.” I said.
“Ok, let’s… we gotta talk to her when she wakes up. She’s gonna know something, right?”
“Yeah,” I said, “maybe. But we’ll find out. Someone’s going to know what happened.”
Erin nodded. “Yeah. I’m just freaking out right now. You need some sleep,” she added, swatting my arm. She sighed, then stood up, holding my hand. We walked over to Brittney's room and took a peek inside. She was sleeping peacefully. At some point she'd grabbed her Pinkie Pie plushie and was holding it in her foreleg. She was sleeping on a Rainbow Dash pillow, with a mane 6 blanket, under a season three poster...
Ok, Erin might have had a point about how much stuff Brittney had. Beyond that, it was so surreal seeing her just lying there like that. There was a pony, a friggin cartoon pony, sleeping in my house. Oh, and that pony had been my girlfriend’s sister an hour ago.
Her ears twitched and she made a soft noise. We stepped out and closed the door, then I rested my head against the wall. I was too dang tired to figure this out tonight.
"What are we gonna do?" Erin asked. "I mean, do I need to get her dressed or what if she needs help walking or brushing her teeth-"
I pulled Erin close to me. “She’s fine, she’s an adult,” I said with a smile. “It’s cute that you want to take care of her.”
She hugged me. “I’m just so used to being the older sister and watching out for her and something like this… how do I help her out here?”
“We’ll find a way,” I promised. “Now get some sleep.”
“Yeah,” she said. “I’m… I want to be there for her when she wakes up, so I think I should sleep in that room tonight.”
I knew there was something else she wanted to say. Something she wanted me to ask. I was asking myself the same question, and I didn’t have an answer. I don’t know how long it took me to fall asleep, running that question through my head over and over again.
What if Erin’s not done changing either?
It felt like I’d been asleep about five seconds when my phone started ringing. I smacked it a few times with my hand before getting a hold of it. I brought it up to my head.
“Mm-hmm.” I said.
“Still asleep? How are your lady friends doing, Nick?” I nearly panicked at that, my heart catching up to the idea way before my eyes and mouth did, but the caller continued. “You did get busy with, what was her name, Nancy? No? Not even Stephi?”
“Hello, Alan,” I grumbled, my panic having failed to fully pull me into wakefulness. Now all I had was a sort of tepid annoyance. I pulled myself out of bed, swinging around and standing up. “’s the con going well?”
“Oh crap, Nick, did you leave them hanging? You’re always with them, too.”
“Nancy” and “Stephi” were what Alan had drunkenly named my right and left hands.
“You can make fun of me all you want when you get a girlfriend.”
Alan sighed. “So are you guys ok? I heard some freaking huge storm hit you."
"Yeah, we're... we're ok," I said. "Tried to call you, actually, but the signal was crap."
"Good." he said. "So, the con freaking sucks. The idiot organizers closed it today, out of freaking nowhere, which is bull crap. They had a freaking agenda like two months ago! Something’s up. I think the government’s trying to shut down…”
“Uh huh,” I said, noticing light coming from the hall. He kept talking. I opened the door and took a step out, my eyes narrowing in the comparatively bright light. I could see Brittney in the bathroom, front legs on the counter. She was looking straight ahead initially, then turned and looked at herself in profile. Weirdly enough, she was smiling. Like, ear-to-ear grin.
I stepped back into my room. I wasn’t ready to process that just yet. Instead, I tried to pay attention to what Alan was saying.
“-got some freaking crazy costumes, though. Freaky as heck how realistic some of these things are. Anyway, wanted to let you know I was heading home early. I should be back by tonight, but it might be early morning.”
No. No, that was not ok. That was the opposite of ok.
“Nick? You still there?”
“Yeah. Alan, so, why can’t you stay at the convention? I mean, you went all the way out there,”
“I saw a lot of what I wanted to yesterday,” he replied, “and besides, the idiots aren’t even letting people in. I just saw an update go up on the con’s Facebook page apologizing and saying they’ll refund people.”
“No, you need to stay there. Or, can you… can’t they…” Trying to get my tired brain to come up with a plausible explanation or solution was like trying to start an old engine. Unhelpfully, Brittney chose that time to be super happy.
“I can’t believe I HAVE HOOVES! EEEEEE!”
Alan was quiet for several seconds. “Um, Nick, was that Brittney? What the heck did she say?”
I opened my door. “Look, I’ve got this under control. I mean, they’re not – just – can’t you stay a bit longer?”
“Uh, no, not after that. I’ll see you this afternoon.”
He hung up. Honestly, dang. That couldn’t have gone a lot worse. I don’t know if he fully heard what she’d said, but seriously, did she have to be so dang happy about this? And why the heck was she so happy? Did she want this? Did she do this to herself? I’d said no to that earlier, but now…
Ok. So, what the heck was going on with her? I stumbled into the bathroom, which made Brittney jump back. As soon as she saw me, though, she grinned again.
“Nick! Oh Celestia, I can’t believe it! I’m a pony I’m a pony I’m a pony…” She started actually bouncing. I was not ready for this crap. I grabbed her… shoulders? Yeah, we’ll go with shoulders.
“Ok, hon, that’s… wow, I didn’t know you… seriously?”
“Yep! Feel my eahs!” She started nuzzling my arm and rubbing her head against me, letting her ears rub my hand. On the one hand, holy heck, a “my little” pony was right in front of me. This was kind of awesome. On the other hand, it was Brittney . She was supposed to be human. I mean, what if she was contagious? What if she was actually possessed by an evil pony and trying to invade our world?
Ok, probably not that.
Brittney started nuzzling my other hand, bringing me back to reality. I pulled my arms back and stood up. Her ears, which had been straight up before, fell to either side as she frowned. She had a weird accent when she talked - it was like she didn't know where to put her tongue. Her Rs and Ls were pretty screwed up. “What’s wlong?”
“I… you! Aren’t you freaking out or scared?”
She shook her head, sitting on the floor and pulling her front legs into her chest. “No…”
“So this whole… pony thing…” I said, gesturing futilely at her, “that’s not… you’re really ok?”
“Yeah,” she said, her eyes starting to water. “Why ah you so mad at me?”
Great freaking job, hero. Calm your jets a bit. “No, Britt, I’m not…” I knelt down in front of her and put my hands back on her shoulders. “I’m just… we thought you’d be freaking out when you learned what happened to you. Are you sure this is ok?”
She looked to the side and put one hoof on her… crap if I know. Knee? That middle joint in her leg. Elbow, maybe. “I wanted this for a leally long time and… now it’s happened. Isn’t it ok fah me to be happy? I mean, I can start scleaming and clying if you think that’s bettah.”
“No, look, I mean, we thought you, your hands…” Nothing. I had nothing. Brittney sniffled.
“I thought I was pletty cute…” she mumbled.
And here comes the guilt train, full speed ahead.
“Look, Brittney,” I said, “I’m sorry. It’s just… you almost died last night. Erin and I were freaking out, because we had no idea what was going on or what would happen to you. I mean,” here I shrugged and gestured at her body, “you’re cute. You’re freaking adorable, and it’s great that you’re ok with this, really. We just… we weren’t sure if you’d really be ok with this.”
She smiled softly, and her ears perked up a little bit. "Am I pletty like Hainbow Dash, or am I beautiful like Lality?" She frowned. "Laaahity. La... rr... Rar-i-ty."
“Well, I’m going to see how Erin’s doing,” I said, and stood up.
“She’s up!” Brittney said. “But she won’t get out of bed for some heeason. I wanted to see if she's diffenent but she’s kind of a pahty-poopah.” She frowned again. "Why can't I say my ahs? Oh! It's because I have a muzzle!" She stood up and got in front of the mirror again. I saw her pull her lips back with a hoof just before I left the bathroom.
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Chapter Three
Erin had the light on and was sitting up in bed. Her face was dry, but she held tissues in her hands and was staring down. She glanced up when I came in, then looked forward again.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey,” I answered and knelt by her side. “So, your sister’s taking this pretty well.”
Erin snorted. “She’s kinda crazy. But… maybe that’s not such a bad thing right now.”
“She’s really touchy-feely,” I said. “Like, all over me wanting me to touch her ears.”
Erin gave me a sideways smile and held up a finger. “You are allowed to touch her ears, but don’t let her nuzzle you! You’re still mine,” she said, reaching her arms around me.
“So… you think she might be…”
“No,” Erin said. “She’s just… she’s kind of weird and I think she loves ponies so much she wants to be touched. I can't believe she just wants to walk around naked, but I guess it's different for her, and it's not like you can see anything."
“How are you doing?” I asked. I couldn’t see any new changes to her, but half her body was under the covers. Erin didn’t say anything at first.
“Do you love me?” she asked. I was a bit surprised by the question, but answered almost immediately.
“Of course. I love you more than anything else.” I tucked her hair behind her ear with my other hand. She turned her face into my palm and kissed it before continuing.
“No matter what? Even if… if I’m not…”
I squeezed her hand. “Erin, I’m never leaving you. No matter what happens.”
She smiled and sniffed, then looked up at the ceiling. “I can’t feel my toes.”
I looked down the blanket to where her feet were. All I could see were lumps that didn’t tell me much. “Did you look?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Not yet.” I reached for the blanket. Before I could get there, she pushed my hand down and shook her head. “No,” she said. “I need to do this. Ok. Oh… Nick…” She pulled the blanket and sheet off in a rush.
Above her knees, her legs were the same, minus the fact that they shouldn’t be pink. Everything below her knees was covered in short pink fur. She still had her heels, but her foot after that was completely different. It arched down, the pink skin and fur giving way to harder tissue. It didn’t look like what horses have – the color matched her skin, and with the fur, it blended so well that you could hardly see where her skin ended. There was no denying, though, that Erin had hooves.
She pulled her legs up slowly, running her hands down her legs. She slowed when she got to the fur, and stopped briefly where her hooves began. She ran her fingers down over the unfamiliar hard edges, and jumped slightly.
“It’s soft in the middle,” she said.
I put my hand over hers as I looked into her eyes. She leaned in and hugged me.
“Think you can stand up?” I asked.
“On these?” she asked. “Hey, Britt!” she added. A few seconds later, the door slowly opened and Brittney trotted in.
“Oh my gosh you have hooves!” she squeaked. “They’ya so cute!” she added, stepping close and putting her own hoof up. “Look, we match!”
“How do you walk on those?” Erin asked. She sat up on the edge and scooted closer to Brittney. Brittney looked at her own hoof with a puzzled expression on her face.
“I just kind of… walk. It’s kind of like if you walked on yah toes, but yah toes wah big and flat and smooshed togethah.” Her stomach grumbled. “Can we have pancakes fah bekfast?” she asked.
I shared a glance with Erin. We didn’t say anything, but we knew what the other wanted to say.
Your sister’s weird.
Shh. Be nice.
Erin looked back over to Brittney. “Let me see how you walk, sis.” Brittney slowly walked back and forth a few times in front of us. Erin kept her eyes focused on her sister’s hooves the whole time. I was startled by how similar this looked to the show. No way in heck was this a coincidence. I didn’t have the slightest idea what it could be, but a coincidence wasn’t on the list.
Erin put her weight on my shoulder. “Ok, I think I can do this.” We started to stand up, but then she stopped and sighed.
"What's wrong? Does it hurt?" I asked.
"No, it's..." she tossed a hand in frustration, then reached around behind her and pulled her tail out from her pants. It was long, fluffy, and pale blue.
"Oh..." I said. She took a deep breath. For her part, Brittney actually made a noise like "squee!"
"Ok, ok," Erin said. "It's new but not so bad. I can do this. Can you bring me some scissors? I'm gonna cut a hole for my... tail."
"Yeah," I said. I went downstairs, grabbed scissors, and came upstairs.
"Help me stand up," she said, holding her sweats up with a hand. Her sweat pants didn't fit as well and looked too loose. That meant she'd lost weight last night. I stood up with her and took her weight as she overbalanced one way, and then the other. Her left arm waved around as she tried to get her balance.
“This is so not like high heels…” she said.
“You’ve got it, though!” Brittney said. “Now just lift yah... your hoof and put it down in fahnt.” Erin’s first step nearly made her fall over, but the next few were a lot better. She pointed at the bathroom and I helped her in. When she came out, the sweats were fitting better. She looked at us and turned around. She'd cut a hole in the sweats and slipped her tail through.
"It's so pletty!" Brittney said, running a hoof through the hair. "I love that shade of blue. It's like Trixie's fuh!"
I reached out, but stopped myself before I touched it.
"Can I touch your tail?" I asked.
"Are you sure you want to?" she said quietly. "I... get it if it grosses you out."
I ran my fingers along her tail. The actual skin and muscle part of her tail wasn't very long, only a foot or so, but the hair was a lot longer. It felt almost like touching her hair, as in her head hair, but it had a softer texture. Erin's breathing sped up.
"Are you ok?" I asked.
"No," she cried. "I have a tail!"
I took her arm and gently pulled her close. Brittney slipped by us into the bathroom. Erin and I hugged as she slowly calmed down.
"So what's it like having a horse for a girlfriend?" she asked.
"We'll figure this out," I said. "We'll find a way to fix both of you." We both looked at Brittney who had grabbed a brush with her mouth and was happily brushing her own tail. "Well, fix you ," I said to Erin.
She nodded, then started walking towards the stairs.
“Let me try the stairs on my own,” she said. I didn’t argue. I mean, sure, this would all get cleared up in just a few days, problem over. But some part of me knew that it might not. That part knew this might be…
She needed the practice, is what I was saying.
We got to the bottom, Brittney encouraging Erin the whole way. I helped support her weight once we got to the bottom, and she sat down on the couch. She crossed one leg over her lap, took her hoof in one hand, and started studying it.
“I’ll get breakfast started,” I said. “Pancakes sound good for everyone?”
“Yep!” Brittney answered as she hopped up next to her sister. Erin mumbled something in agreement. I mixed the batter, poured it into two pans, then came back and sat next to them. They were already talking about their new bodies. Brittney still sounded like someone from Boston, but it wasn't as strong.
“So we’ah gonna have to trim ah hooves and pobbably get horseshoes,” Brittney was saying, “but I don’t wanna get the kind that they nail in.”
“So what do we do?” Erin asked. She slipped her hand into mine without looking.
“We can get hoas boots! They’re like these hahd plastic things that go around our hooves and tighten so they can get taken off. Lemme show you.” She reached for Erin’s laptop with one hoof. Erin pulled it away before anything broke.
“Oh, solly!” Brittney said. “I kinda forgot. I wonda if you’re gonna be an earth pony like me oh a pegasus oh a unicorn?”
Erin felt the top of her forehead. “I don’t think I’m growing a horn…”
Brittney looked at me. “You’ll probably be a Pegasus, cuz you’re fast.”
I didn't want to think about that. “Hey, Britt,” I interrupted, remembering my conversation with Erin last night. “Do you… know anything about what happened to you two?”
Brittney sat up, her ears standing straight. “Like what?” she asked, tilting her head to one side.
“Like, how this might have happened,” I started, “or maybe if… you did this.”
She shook her head vigorously. “Nuh-uh. I know that I’m Pli- Princess Eclipse and I’m so excited!”
“Who’s Princess Eclipse?” Erin asked before I could stop her. I winced at the question. Brittney’s grin, if possible, got even bigger.
“She’s my OC! She’s an earth pony who learned how to do magic and she defeated Discord on her own, so Celestia and Luna turned her into an alicorn, and Shining Armor loves her moah than Cadence and so…” she sniffed the air. “Breakfast is on fiah!”
I’d already kind of zoned out. Erin jabbed me in the ribs and I realized what Brittney had said. I jumped off the couch and ran into the kitchen. Smoke was coming out of both pans.
“Dang it,” I said, pulling them off the heat. “I think that was the last of it, too.” I muttered. One quick check through the cupboards confirmed my suspicions.
“Um, so that was the last of the pancake batter,” I said as I walked back into the living room. “I’ll have to go pick us up some breakfast. Burritos work?”
Erin shrugged. Brittney frowned. “But what am I gonna eat?”
“Good question,” I said. “Does anything sound good?”
She thought about it for a second before her eyes lit up. “I wanna try oats! Ponies love them and they’re super yummy for them. Ooh, maybe…”
“Ok, oats.” I said as I put on my jacket. I paused and looked at Erin. “Do you want to come?” I asked.
She looked at her sister, who was now telling her about the many kinds of things she “knew” ponies could eat, then shook her head.
“I’ll stay here with her,” she said. Just before I got out the door, I heard her say, "It's pretty cool how it fixed your legs."
I hadn't thought about that until now, but yeah. Brittney had broken her legs a few weeks ago and had been in casts when she started to change. Now her legs were fine. The magic had put her back together.
Did that mean it could heal me, too?
Holy cow, I hoped so. Just that thought lifted a massive weight off my shoulders. Turning into a pony would be a small price to pay for getting to live. That felt like too heavy a topic to think about right now. My brain needed a break. Let's focus on breakfast. Breakfast burritos were an easy buy, but raw oats? Is that like a supermarket thing or a farm supply thing?
Supermarket thing, as it turns out. I got the last bag of rolled oats and went to the checkout. The clerk raised his eyebrows when he saw the bag.
"So, did I miss some kind of news report? Because everyone's been buying oats today. We already had to restock it."
"Um, weird," I said, and paid. So Brittney and Erin weren't the only ones. Probably. Or maybe there was some new oat-related health craze.
The drive gave me time to think. I didn't want this, but no matter how loud I turned up the radio, I couldn’t stop thinking about last night. I'd been hit by the magic lightning just as much as Britt had. But I was still human. Why was Erin changing? She didn't even get hit! And what about my teammates? I called Ross and got no answer. Neither did anyone else on my team. Well, maybe they were tired or left their phone home. Every single one of them at the same time. Crap.
I thought about going to check on them, but I had Erin and Brittney waiting on me. I could check later. One thing for sure, I had to know what had happened and how to stop it.
I got home. Brittney was right at my feet when I opened the door, jumping to see what I had in the bags. I stepped around her as I shut the door behind me.
“What’d you get?” she asked. “Was it oats? EEEEE I’m so excited to try them as a pony! And daffodils and apples and cidah…”
Erin pulled her sister away. “Come on, Brit, you’re not a dog!” She took a burrito from my hands.
I pulled out a bowl, cut open the bag of oats, and poured some in. I set the bowl on the table and Brittney hopped up on a chair, leaned over and sniffed it.
“Do you want milk or sugar or something?” Erin asked.
Brittney stuck out her tongue and pulled some oats into her mouth. She chewed for a bit, her eyes going from side to side, before they opened wide and she grinned.
“These ah so good! Thank you, Nick!” With that, she dove into the bowl face first and started munching.
Erin shook her head and hugged me. I put my hand on her neck and rubbed it gently.
“Let’s go sit down,” I said. We walked into the living room. The TV was on, but it was a commercial.
“I’m worried about Brittney,” she said softly. “Do you think she’s going crazy?”
I was a bit surprised at that question. “No. Why? Is it because she’s so happy about this?”
“And she won’t calm down about it either! She’s always so happy and bouncing. Heck, the whole time you were gone she couldn’t stop talking about herself. She just kept brushing herself.”
“So she was brushing herself and talking?” I asked.
“Yeah!” she said.
“How’d you understand her?”
“I didn’t.”
I took her cool hands in mine. I didn’t say anything, just let her talk.
“I mean, I get that she likes ponies. And that’s fine, but it’s like… this should be kind of traumatic! I’m usually better at handling stuff than she is, but just looking at her act like that…”
She went quiet for several seconds. I waited.
“Maybe it’s just her way of handling this. Maybe she is scared and she’s just sticking with the ‘I like ponies’ thing to deal with it.” I said.
She waited a long time before talking again. “I’m just scared. It’s happening to me too! I've got hooves and a tail! What if... what if, when it finishes, I’m not me anymore? What if it gets done and I’m all jumpy and silly and always happy like her? Or what if… what if I’m still me but we never fix it?” Her voice started to shake, and I felt teardrops fall on my shoulder. “What if I’m stuck like that forever?” She squeezed my hand and brought it to her lips. “Don’t leave me,” she said. “Will you promise? Even if… even if I’m…”
Her voice cracked and she stopped talking. I lifted her face until we were looking at each other, and then kissed her. When we separated, we hugged.
“I won’t leave you,” I said. “No matter what. I love you no matter what you look like.”
We held each other. The news chose this time to come on, showing a reporter outside a building I recognized as being downtown.
"Last night's storm has baffled meteorologists, forming quicker and moving faster than any storm on record. Some are blaming global warming, but Manuel Garcia says there's a different answer. Magic."
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Chapter Four
"Nick..." Erin said.
"I heard," I answered. Brittney trotted in, a warm smile on her face, and sat in front of us.
"Oats are soooo good," she said.
"Shh," Erin hushed.
"That's correct, Monica," Manuel said. He was an older Latino man with piercing eyes and a rumbling voice. He was in a suit and sitting comfortably. "The Order of Saint Augustine was founded to deal with magic and prevent its use. We are, as you can imagine, concerned with how last night played out."
"So are you claiming responsibility for the storm?"
"No, we believe that to be the responsibility of a rogue person, named Alexander. He is acting on his own, which is very dangerous for those of us who like how we are shaped and do not want it to change."
"And do you use magic?" the reporter asked.
Manuel frowned. "We do, but it is only because it is our weapon against those who do evil. We hope for a world where there is no more magic."
"Right. You must understand, Mr. Garcia, that I'm a little bit skeptical about magic being real."
"Not for long," Manuel said.
"I'm sorry?" The reporter said.
"Nothing, my dear, please continue."
"Well, I've never seen magic and always thought it was a fairy tale. Can you show me some?"
Manuel frowned. "My dear, magic is like a savage animal. It is alive and does not obey willingly. You saw some of the storm last night, and you ask me to show you more? I cannot do this. But I will say," he added, interrupting the reporter. "That we are gathering in the Langan center at 8:00 tonight. We want to tell people what is going on. The magic that created the storm that was unleashed last night is not finished. It is changing and seeks to establish itself as a permanent part of our world. It is dangerous."
The camera focused on the reporter again. She started talking, but couldn't get a word out before Manuel spoke again.
"My dear, your hand..."
The reporter turned to the side and dropped the microphone with a gasp.
"Turn it off! Turn it off!" she yelled at the cameraman, and the screen switched back to the news station.
"Wait!" Brittney yelled. She ran up to the TV. "Go back! You can wewind, light?"
I fumbled for the remote and rewinded. I still didn't see what she was so excited about.
"Now go fowahd! Just a little bit."
We went forward frame by frame. The reporter looked at Manuel, dropped the microphone, and...
"Theh!" Brittney stamped a hoof and pointed at the screen. In the frame, the reporter was grabbing her wrist. Instead of a hand, she had a yellow, roundish shape. It was hard to see because it was blurry, but if I had to guess... it was a hoof.
I sat back. Well. This was... not all the way bad. I mean, Manuel didn't seem like he was telling the whole truth. But if he was, this was the best opportunity we'd had to figure out what the heck had happened.
"Well," I said, looking at Erin, "I know where I'm going tonight. I'll be able to just make it after getting off work."
"Yeah..." Erin said. "I really think you should go. I wish I could but..." she gestured at Brittney, who was trotting upstairs. "She almost died. I can't... I don’t want to just leave her alone. Especially if she's like this! She can't call someone or text or anything."
"Yeah. Makes sense," I said. "I'll tell you everything they tell me."
"But you can't go alone!" she said.
I raised my eyebrows at her.
“Oh, shut up, I’m feeling confused and still trying to deal with hooves. I just want you to be safe.”
“I will,” I said. “It’ll probably no scarier than work. Um… speaking of which…”
“You have to go,” she said. She sighed, hugged me again, then stood up.
“Be safe,” she said.
There weren't a lot of people at work; not a lot of employees, I mean. Even before I checked in, I was getting swamped with requests and assignments. First we had to go attend to a reported heart attack half a mile away, then we were called back to move some 600-pound guy out of his bed after he died due to surgical complications.
The whole time, there were little hints that things weren't totally normal. People weren't answering their phones. The cops were receiving so many missing person reports that they'd asked us to send an hourly report with the names of every new patient. The worst was a lady who came running in, holding a kid and screaming. Another team got the kid, who went straight into surgery. I don't know exactly what happened, but the team walked back out with heavy heads.
I tried to talk with people about what was going on. More than anyone, we were seeing just how much damage the storm had done. There were a lot of people coming in who were clearly concealing part of themselves. Most of them got turned away when we found nothing life-threatening going on. They weren't all ok with this, but what could we do?
Rain started to fall just as I got in my car. I checked, it was just a normal storm. No gold light, no crazy winds. Just rain. There was something comforting about something so mundane and normal.
My mind was whirling the whole way home. Ok, first of all, we could fully establish that this wasn't just confined to Erin and Britt. I'd kind of hoped that, gold storm and all, it'd been just them. Guess that wasn't a possibility. There were a lot of people changing. Yeah, sure, it might just be this city, but that's still a heck of a lot of people. There were, what, 300,000 people here? What if everyone changed? Britt changed pretty dang fast, and Erin was changing now. What if the rest of us were going to follow?
I could swear that my hands were getting stiff and my ears were moving. They weren't. (I checked.) I was just psyching myself out. I was definitely going to tonight's meeting. Just had to check on the girls first.
I could see something on my porch. A pony, by the look of it. I pulled up and walked towards my door, on my guard. I heard a scraping noise as she pushed her face against the doorknob, before falling back onto her butt. She was a grey unicorn, horn poking out through soaked and matted hair. A dirty, scraped up, and soaked backpack lay next to her, one strap around her neck. I couldn’t see her eyes through her hair. She was trembling very weakly, and I saw a key in her mouth.
"Are you ok?" I asked, bending down by her. She didn't seem like she was in the state to cause me any problems.
“He… help… ple…help…” she said through chattering teeth. Her voice was so faint as to be barely audible. I unlocked the door, bent down to pick her up, and stepped inside.
"Nick?" Erin called from upstairs.
"Yeah, it's me," I said, as Erin came down the stairs.
“Oh my gosh!” she said, quickly feeling the pony’s forehead. “She’s freezing! She needs to get in the bath,” she said, heading upstairs.
“There’s, uh, no bathtub,” I said. “Just showers. We’ve got to be careful with her," I added. "We need to get her chest warm before her legs or she could have a heart attack.” The unicorn simply lay limply in my arms as I carried her up the stairs.
I felt the unicorn’s chest as I reached the top of the stairs. Her chest felt cold, and her heartbeat was hard to find.
“We’ve got you,” I said to her. “We’re going to get you warm and safe, ok?” She didn’t respond. Erin already had warm water running, and took the pony from my arms. She set her in the bottom of the shower, pulled the shower nozzle down, and carefully started running warm water over the grey unicorn. Her curly brown hair reached down to the floor. The mystery unicorn offered no complaint, although she did sit up after we'd warmed her up a bit. We tried asking her questions, her name, when she'd changed etc. but the only reaction we got was some soft crying. When she was warm again, we turned off the shower and began drying off brown hair and grey fur.
“You know,” I said, “I didn’t think I’d ever meet a ‘my little’ pony a few days ago, and this is the second one I’ve dried off from the rain in two days.”
“Yeah,” Erin said. “I didn’t think I’d ever have a tail, either. Can you hear me, hon?” she said to the unicorn. "I need you to stay awake, ok? We’ll get you something warm to drink. Do you like coffee?”
No immediate response, but after a repeat of the question, I saw the horn bob left to right.
“Ok, then, maybe warm milk or hot chocolate?” Erin asked. In response, the unicorn took a deep breath.
“I’m fine,” she said in a voice that said she was anything but. “I just really want to wake up.”
“What do you mean, sweetie?” Erin asked as she moved hair out of the unicorn’s eyes. I had no idea when Brittney had gotten there, but I heard her hooves against the tile behind me.
“A unicoln!” Brittney said in glee, coming close. “Is she ok? Can she do magic? Oh Celestia, I’m so excited! Can…” her voice tapered off as she got a closer look at the poor, grey-furred girl. I could see her eyes now. They were green and pointing in different directions. One locked on to me, but the other looked slightly to the side. This was true even as she looked at Erin, then back to me.
“Nick, it’s me,” she said. Everyone looked expectantly at me. Seeing that I didn’t recognize her, she muttered something vulgar before continuing. “Dang it, Nick, I’m Alan.
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Chapter Five
Alan
Waking up that first day, I sure as heck didn’t expect to get turned into a unicorn. Not the kind of thing that crosses a guy’s mind when he’s at a convention. The cramped motel room smelled like junk and I didn’t want to stay in there any longer than I had to, so when my alarm went off, boom, I was out. Shower, done. Breakfast burrito, done. On to the convention center.
See, I really, really wanted to get some pictures signed by my favorite webcomic artist. Problem was, she was really popular, and the line for her booth would be long. I was feeling pretty good about my chances, though. My podcast audience had done me good by scoring tickets. Since we were about catching the freaking government doing shady stuff, I called them "Spookbusters," and my Spookbusters were amazing. Weirdos, every freaking one of them, but that's the kind of person it takes to see the truth out there. Their donations kept me podcasting and eating.
Glancing back at the comics and character art in the backseat, I started to get seriously nervous. This wasn’t such a big deal, right? She just draws comics. She draws the best comics online with freaking awesome art and it's funny as crap and she's pretty hot. So yeah, ok, it was a pretty big deal. Traffic was terrible– there were way more cars than I would’ve expected for that time of day. Not a lot of people were heading to the con – I was one of only a few people that took the exit leading to the convention center. Most people just kept heading out of town. Weird. Was there a holiday or something I had forgotten about?
My car was getting too hot, so I turned off the heater. It was pretty dang cold for the time of year, so I kept the heater on most of the time. Couldn’t risk damaging the prints though. Wait, would heat from the car even get hot enough to damage it? Crap, I hope not.
I wasn’t comfortable in my car even at the best of times – it was a 2000 and something, some kind of crap car. I wasn't super skinny, or even kind of skinny. I was a fat guy.
And fat guys like me do not like tiny parking spaces. Took me a freaking month to find a parking spot that I could get out of without having to cut off a leg.
“Really, people,” I grunted, squeezing out of what to me was a tiny gap, so you know, only big enough to fit a buffalo through. “Your cars are so close they're going to be stuck together.” I jogged as best I could towards the venue, but stopped as I got closer. There was an obvious problem. There were people dressed in blue standing around the building, and about twenty pissed-off people outside. I got closer and heard the people in the crowd yelling at the security. One of the security members, a short lady, got on a ladder with a megaphone.
“People, please, we’re sorry that the convention has been closed, but you need to go home. You can’t stay here. You will be contacted by the convention organizers in the next few days.”
You’ve got to be freaking kidding me. I tried to yell a question at the security guards, but they were apparently done since people were starting to leave around me. I approached one of them, a guy carrying the ladder, but before I could get close he got inside the building and closed the door. I tried it, but it was locked, of course. I took a step back and looked at the building. Lights were off as far as I could tell. The heck had happened to make them close the convention like this? I mean, seriously, they hadn’t even given any freaking warning. You have to let people know before you just take advantage of them like this. It was a big con, too – this crap really wouldn’t look good for them.
I started to walk away when I noticed something orange flying in loops above a group of people a few yards away. Some guy probably had a drone all dressed up – from what I could see it had wings which actually flapped as it flew around, and it had some kind of pinkish hair coming off of it. Guy probably spent all his time working on it so it looked just perfect. Pretty sad, actually.
It was the girl near them that caught my attention. Her legs just looked… off. They were blue and were bent backwards. It actually looked like they were covered in hair. She had a blue and gold tail attached to her costume, and a couple blue ears sticking out of her head. As I got closer, I didn’t see her real ears – just the costume ones, but crap man, they looked real enough. One of them even swiveled towards me as I got close. She looked happy and was smiling, probably enjoying all this attention, making her tail swing back and forth. I looked at the side of her head. It was freaky to see that flat skin there – no sign of her ear at all. Messed up that she wanted to look like that. I mean, I get that it’s a costume and all, but she seemed really into it. She was taking pictures with people, and a couple people even got close and were touching her tail and ears. Eugh.
Horse girl noticed me and, with a big grin, asked, “Do you wanna picture with me?”
“Nice costume,” I said in response. “Almost looks real. How’d you hide your ears like that?”
She grinned. Stop smiling at me, I’m not some dang five-year-old. You don’t need to make everything look happy.
“I didn’t! My ears are right here!” With that she put a hand alongside one of her costume ears, which twitched as she touched it. There was something unsettling about that – the way it moved on its own. Whoever made this was way too good at it. Probably wasn’t her – she’d have got someone with talent to make it for her. Least he would get some money out of it.
I sighed. I wasn’t being fair to her, and I knew it. She’s just being happy and staying in character, good for her, especially with the con closed and all that. Might as well humor her, right? I noticed she was looking at me expectantly, like she was waiting for something.
“Didja hear me?” she asked, taking a step closer. That make my stomach turn. Her legs actually moved like a freaking horse leg, with the joint bending backwards and everything. I didn’t want to think about how she got her legs in there.
“What?” I asked, taking a step back as she took one forward. She seemed to notice that and stopped.
“Do you want to touch my ears?” she asked, the smile fading slightly from her face, before coming back.
“They’re really soft,” someone from the crowd added. I glanced in the direction of the voice, but there were still too many people around. Everyone was looking at me, and cosplay extraordinaire here was leaning her head down, putting her ears in easy reach. Might as well, right? I didn’t know why she wanted people to touch her ears, though. No matter how realistic they looked or how weird they moved, they’d still feel like fabric as soon as you touched them. I touched her ear.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat the heck?
Her ear was real. Really real. I could feel the muscles inside shift slightly in my hand. The fur felt surprisingly soft and the skin underneath was warm. I was too stunned to move for a second, and in that second, someone said something and the ear turned to face that direction. I could feel the muscles on her head move the ear around. I felt like a jolt went through my arm and I pulled it back, looking at it and then back at the lady. The horse. The… I don’t even know.
“Are you ok?” she asked, looking concerned, and putting her own hand on her ear, right where mine had been.
“Your ears…” I said, using all my remaining brain power to put together those two words.
“Aren’t they neat?” she asked, smiling again. “They just grew today when I was in the shower.”
“Yeah, I just need to… I have to take care of panicking, I mean packing, I’m just going to go now.” And I was gone, probably leaving her offended that her freaky ears had freaked me the heck out.
Nope, stay calm now. Everything was cool. She had some really good costume that just seemed real. That’s all that happened.
“That’s all that happened,” I kept repeating, as I squeezed into my car and drove off. I was so freaked out by what had happened that I kept feeling phantom sensations, kind of like when your phone vibrates and you reach for it but it isn’t there, you left it at home today when you met a girl who has freaking horse ears. I kept feeling her ear in my hand. The image of her legs kept popping into my head, which made my knees hurt as I thought of hers bending backwards. I started rubbing my leg around my knee, where the phantom pain hurt the most. All of I sudden I realized I was rubbing against coarse hair, and I whipped my head down to look.
Oh, right. Leg hair.
Chuckling at my panic, I pulled onto the freeway. I checked my mirrors and noticed something very unusual. My hair, which should have been blonde, was turning brown, starting at the roots. This by itself wouldn’t be a problem, except that, I don’t know, I’d never dyed my hair in my life. Even as I watched, I thought I could see the brown area get slightly bigger.
I suddenly remembered that I was in traffic and looked ahead, both hands on the steering wheel as I pulled around a slower moving car. Ok, hair was an issue. Something was wrong with my hair. That alone wasn’t a big deal, right? I’d heard that hair could get sun-bleached. Maybe mine had gotten darker in the sun. That’s a thing, right? I had been at the con for a long time yesterday, and a lot of it was waiting outside since the venue was so crowded. Right. My hair got darker in the sun. No big deal. I found myself rubbing my knee again, trying to relieve the aches. It almost felt like my knee had been forced to go a weird way and got strained. Almost like it was being pushed the wrong directi-
Nope. I was standing most of yesterday and all my flab probably just stressed out my knees. I sat all day most days, so it’s not like they got a lot of use. Come on, Alan, you’re freaking yourself out here. My leg started to bounce up and down, which was a really bad thing to have happen while driving, so I tried to hold it down with my hand. Most of the traffic was going the other way, a lot of people heading to the con, I guessed, leaving my side relatively clear.
I sped along the remaining road, making it back to the motel. I stumbled out, my knees protesting. The pain was radiating down to my feet now. It wasn’t particularly bad, but it scared me. I fumbled with my keys at the motel room door and dropped them. Bending down to pick them up made me wince in pain. My hands were shaking, my legs hurt, and all of a sudden I really had to piss. Dang it body, why is it always the worst times? I grabbed my keys, hands shaking, and I stumbled into my motel room. I shut the door behind me, stepped into the bathroom, and sat down on the toilet, holding my head in my hands.
Dang it, it was hard to calm down. That freaking girl… nah, whatever, it was just a costume. I took care of my business and took some painkillers and my heart meds, before leaving. My heart was still going like crazy, but it started to calm down. I took a beer out of the tiny fridge and sat down on the bed.
Ok. Sitrep. Am I dying? No, probably not. I just got freaked out over some girl with some really intense costume. Probably all got started when the con decided to just freaking cancel. Seriously, what the crap? I pulled out my phone and checked the con’s page to see if they’d posted anything about the closure. Actually, they had. They were like “Oh, we’re so sorry, everyone was getting sick and we needed to close it, you’ll all get refunds…” Load of garbage. Anyway, I’d be heading home earlier than expected. I pulled out my phone and called Nick, absently scratching my neck.
“Mm-hmm,” he said.
“Still asleep? How are your lady friends doing, Nick? You did get busy with, what was her name, Nancy? No? Not even Stephi?” My neck was really itching now, and it was spreading up my head and down my back now. Did I get allergies now? I kept talking to Nick as I stood up and moved to the bathroom. I wanted to see if I had a rash there or something – it definitely felt rough there. That’d just be freaking great, getting a rash on top of all the rest of the crap I’d faced today.
“You can make fun of me all you want when you get a girlfriend.”
Yeah, yeah, touché or whatever. “So are you guys ok? I heard some freaking huge storm hit you."
"Yeah, we're... we're ok," he said. "Tried to call you, actually, but the signal was crap."
"Good." I said. "So, the con freaking sucks. The idiot organizers closed it today, out of freaking nowhere, which is bull crap. They had a freaking agenda like two months ago! Something’s up. I think the government’s trying to shut down anything that’s weird, you know?”
“Uh huh,” he said,
“Some of these guys have got some freaking crazy costumes, though. Freaky as heck how realistic some of these things are. Anyway, wanted to let you know I was heading home early. I should be back by tonight, but it might be early morning.” He didn’t say anything, but I could hear stuff behind him. “Nick? You still there?”
“Yeah. Alan, so, why can’t you stay at the convention? I mean, you went all the way out there,”
“I saw a lot of what I wanted to yesterday, and besides, the idiots aren’t even letting people in. I just saw an update go up on the con’s Facebook page apologizing and saying they’ll refund people.”
“No, you need to stay there. Or, can you… can’t they…”
Brittney, one of our roommates, yelled in the background. “I can’t believe I HAVE HOOVES! EEEEEE!”
What. I actually stopped what I was doing and looked at the phone for a second before putting it back against my ear.
“Um, Nick, was that Brittney? What the heck did she say?”
“Look, I’ve got this under control,” he said in a rush. “I mean, they’re not – just – can’t you stay a bit longer?”
“Uh, no, not after that. I’ll see you this afternoon.”
After that? Heck no. There was no way horse girl at the con was for real with her ears and that story, but just hypothetically, maybe she was telling the truth, and maybe whoever Nick was with was having the same thing happen. Hypothetically. None of that could be real. Speaking of things that couldn’t be real, that itchy feeling was covering most of my back now. I turned the mirror and turned around so I could see my back, and pulled my shirt up.
The heck?
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Chapter Six
I let go of both my phone and my shirt when I saw my back. I looked at myself, back at my phone, and then back at the mirror again. I turned around again, looking over my shoulder into the mirror, and pulled my shirt up. There was freaking grey fur growing over my back and starting to come up my neck.
Freaking heck, horse girl’s story was for real and she infected me. Crap. Crap crap crap crap crap. I let go of my shirt and started walking around the motel room, not sure where to go. Should I pick up the phone and call the cops? Wait, why? I needed to go to a hospital right? Nah, I hated hospitals, and doctors listen more to drug companies than what people actually need. Still, maybe I didn’t have a choice this time. Yeah, hospital. Maybe this was some disease that they could cure me of. Or maybe they’d just study me.
My knees started to hurt again and I actually felt my legs buckle for a moment, sending me to a knee as I braced myself with a hand. Maybe I was making it up, but I swear I could feel my freaking knees try to move up my leg. Screw it, going to the hospital.
Fortunately, I knew that there was one not far from the motel. I pulled into the parking lot and got out. Screw whatever it would cost me to park there, I was infected by something and needed a doctor. I walked into the emergency room lobby and this jock looking guy sat at the desk. He had a headphone in one ear and was typing something on a computer.
I slammed a hand down on the counter and said “I need a doctor right the heck now.” Mr. sports guy jumped a little when I hit the desk, and then just looked bored when he saw me.
“I need you to fill out these documents, and please tell me what’s happening to you, sir.”
“Look, man, I just need to see a doctor. I can’t… I can’t talk about it with anyone else. Just get me in.”
“Sir, we can’t get you in unless we know how serious your situation is,” he said. I noticed that he wasn’t looking at my eyes – he kept looking at something just above my head. I turned and looked at the ceiling in that direction. Nothing there but tiles.
“No, it’s your ears,” he said. “You get those for the convention? They’re pretty sweet.”
The heck was he talking about? When I looked at him again, he pointed at a spot just above his own head. I really, really did not want to put my hand there, since I was sure I knew what I’d find. Somebody sneezed to my left and my… the thing on my head turned to face it.
Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out. Don’t freak out because you’ve got some freaking – no, come on. Lock it up. I tried as hard as I could to keep panic from breaking out. It was like trying to hold the lid on something hot and snarling. More like trying to keep a door closed on it, I guess. Hey, I’m not good at analogies when my ears are changing places.
Behind me, the doors slid open and someone walked in with a crying baby, by the sound of it. The nurse or whatever looked at them, then back at me, and sighed. Jerk, like I’m going to tell you I’m turning into a horse or something.
“I can’t get you in unless you fill out the paperwork first,” he said, pushing some documents over. The lady behind me pushed me aside and started talking to the nurse guy. Whatever, sure, you’re more important than me. I sat down on a chair and started filling it out. It was some Asian lady with a crying kid she was holding. Kid sure was squirming a lot, and his freaking screaming was getting real freaking annoying. I couldn’t even concentrate well enough to write anything down. The fact that those things which were not my ears even though I could hear out of them were apparently really sensitive didn’t help. Finally I put the clipboard down and put my hands over those things. Just because I could feel the freaking things didn’t mean that they were my ears. They were parasites or something that I was getting cut off and my real ears getting back.
The kid finally stopped screaming. I noticed the nurse suddenly stand up and grab the kid, then he started yelling and a few more people came out. They put the kid on a stretcher and I noticed a black tail just barely drop over the edge. Two nurses and the kid’s mom ran him down the hall, and I immediately felt like crap for getting frustrated with him. Dang it, can’t I get mad at someone without something horrible happening to them?
A distraction came into play in the form of G-men walking in the door. I angled my head down and tried to look inconspicuous, although you can’t be really unnoticeable with pointed ears coming out of your dang head. I glanced at them without moving my head. They went straight to the nurses’ desk, and I heard them introduce themselves. These ears were pretty good at hearing, I had to give them that. They were immediately let in and went down one of the side halls, though one of them gave me a curious look as they left.
Crap. This transformation thing was probably a government program and they were looking for people infected by it. And I, being an absolute genius, had gone to the most obvious place in the world for them to look. Freaking crap. I stood up and quickly left the waiting area, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. Even as I walked to my car I could feel weird things happening inside me. They didn’t hurt, but you have someone squish your freaking intestines around and tell me if you like it. There were things freaking growing inside me, and I really didn’t want to think about it. Worse than that, my mouth started to feel like it was getting smaller. It took me a second to realize that my freaking tongue was getting longer. After a few seconds, it was too big to fit and it forced my mouth open, hanging out like I was a freaking dog or something. People in the parking lot were staring at me, so I got inside my car and started the engine.
I had to get out of there and I had to do it fast. Where would I go? Home seemed like the best place to go at first – unless the G-men had gotten my info, I’d be safe. I had a mini panic attack when I remembered that I had been filling out ID forms. I glanced over, freaking tongue dangling, and saw crumpled ID forms sitting next to me on the seat. Weird. I hadn’t noticed that I had taken them with me.
I looked forward again and, wondering what else I hadn’t noticed, looked at myself in the rearview mirror. My tongue was dangling, way too long and wide to be normal, and my eyes had turned green. They were dang bright, too. Freaking heck.
Next thing I noticed was that things started to smell… more. Don’t give me that look, I don’t have a dang idea how to explain it better. I could smell the plastic and oils and rubber in my car, but instead of just smelling like my car, I could smell each of them by themselves, and it was all at the same time. I could smell my own sweat and something like cigarette smoke, probably from the motel room. There were a ton of things I couldn’t even recognize because I had never smelled anything like them before. I kept checking my face in the mirror, keeping an eye on the road so I didn’t crash into a pole or some crap.
My freaking face got bigger. It just started like filling out and moving forward. There wasn’t a pushing feeling or anything, it just kept stretching out, and wow it felt weird. I could feel my teeth moving and I saw my tongue get pulled up into my new face. Sure, it was great to finally put the thing away so it wasn’t just hanging there, but this crap felt freaked up. That itching feeling started again and started spreading down my face. Grey hair started poking out of my skin like freaking pins and needles everywhere. Dang, my new face was freaking sensitive. It just itched when my neck grew fur, but it was like my whole face had gone numb and just started waking up. Then my eyes started to get blurry.
“Oh freaking crap,” I said, and pulled over. I did not want my eyes to change now. I didn’t want them to ever change. There was this weird stretching feeling like something was sucking at the bones around my eyes and moving them away. My eyes felt like freaking warm bags that just spilled into the new area. I couldn’t see crap until they finished. First thing I did was look at my face.
“Holy crap…” I said, blinking two enormous green eyes and looking at some kind of horse/human hybrid thing. Glad I could still freaking talk, even if my voice sounded weird. It sounded higher, actually, almost like…
“No!” I yelled, and my voice came out higher than it had before. It kept getting higher and more… crap… feminine as I kept talking. “No, dang it! Not this crap too!” My voice got strained at the end as my throat tightened up and my huge eyes started to hurt. My hands started shaking and I slammed them against the dashboard. I squeezed my eyes shut and screamed, and dang it, I hated the sound of that voice. It sounded like some freshman girl’s voice. That voice belonged to girls who were perky and stupid and freaking not me because I wasn’t a dang girl!
I couldn’t take it. My shoulders just started shaking and my nose started running. Freaking thing. I got some napkins out of the glove box and clumsily tried to keep it clean. The thing was only a couple of inches in front of the rest of my face, but dang, it felt like it was a freaking mile long. It wasn’t enough that it was shaped weird and so freaking huge. It had to be surrounded by fur too. I lay there, girly sobs coming out of me, freaking eyes spilling tears everywhere.
This was so freaking unfair. There were tons of furry freaks who wanted to get horse faces or cat legs or whatever the heck. Why couldn’t one of them get infected by this crap? Why’d it have to be me? I mean, all that furry crap’s screwed up. It’s like, why would you want to make out with an animal? I didn’t like any of it. Even that pony crap Nick watched was freaking weird.
Wait a minute. A stupid and scary idea popped into my head. I looked at myself in the mirror again.
I was a dang mess. Dark streaks were under my eyes and nostrils (I guess my whole freaking muzzle was like a nose and mouth now.) My eyes were red on the edges and my ears were hanging limp against the sides of my head. I blinked to clear my eyes and adjusted the mirror so I was looking straight at it. I kind of looked like one of those freaking ponies from his show. Horses, normal horses I mean, have this huge freaking snout that just stretches out their whole head, but mine was short and was curved softly. Kind of petite, actually.
Freaking crap. I’m cute. I’m turning into a freaking cute cartoon pony.
Wait, did that mean Nick could be involved? Nah, that was freaking stupid. Get a hold of yourself, Alan. He’s not some freaking supervillain. You’d probably have noticed if he had, like, biotechnology equipment. Ok, ok, if it’s not him, it’s something else. Maybe one of those freaking bronies actually had tech and pulled something like this off. Or maybe it was just some furries.
Wait, what? Was I actually saying that these guys were turning people into their fetish or something? I mean, whatever, there’s probably a few freaks who would do it, but I didn’t think any of them could. Probably not, anyway. I’d have to get home and see if anyone knew anything about it. They had to, right? I couldn’t stand the thought of being the only freaking one who this was happening to.
I looked at my hands, turning them around, looking for anything weird. Nothing. I pulled my shirt forward and saw that the grey hair had grown slightly down my chest before tapering off. At least it left me still able to drive.
It was a few hours before anything started happening again, and I was actually starting to feel ok about the situation. I wasn’t far from my place when my fingers started getting stiff.
“Crap,” I said, looking down at my hands and trying to keep driving. I started to have to stretch my legs to reach the gas and brake pedals, and it felt like they kept getting farther and farther away. “No. No no no no no…” I was starting to lose control of the car. My fingers were bending towards my palm and were changing color. Having a girl’s voice come out of my mouth was not helping for crap. I looked around frantically for a place to pull over, and seeing one, went for the handbrake. Something hard around my hand bounced off the handbrake. I didn’t have time to think about that. I pulled the steering wheel to the side as my feet came completely off the pedals. There was a crunch as I hit the curb.
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Chapter Seven
Ouch.
After a bit, I started blinking and realized where I was. Everything hurt, and everything felt freaking weird. I looked down at my arms. Freaking heck. Dang things weren’t arms anymore. I pushed one of my… no, not going to say it. One of my things against the door handle but those really are designed for hands. After a few tries I just whacked it in frustration, bit the handle, and pulled it back. The car door popped open and I pushed it open. Standing on four legs was something I just had to accept. Getting my backpack on was also a hassle, but I managed to wiggle my front half into it and then get it onto my back when I stood up.
I looked down the road ahead of me. No way that I could use my phone with these freaking… things, and I couldn’t drive anymore. Only one thing to do, I guess. I pushed the door lock button and then shut the door.
Let me tell you, I had a lot of freaking time to think as I walked. I had to keep thinking so I didn’t think about the feeling of…things on pavement or feeling my ears twitch around to different sounds or the weird empty feeling between my back legs. I really, really did not want to think about my freaking body. That wasn’t something I was ready to handle yet. I was trying to figure out what the heck I was supposed to do now.
I didn’t have any freaking idea. Sure, “get home” was the plan. This area was usually pretty calm and safe, or as safe as it can be. I was still a… a… I wasn’t as safe as I used to be, so I tried to walk fast. One good thing, if you really want to call it that, was that walking felt as natural as it had when I had two legs. Even though my legs felt really freaking weird and kept bending in weird ways and I didn’t even want to think about what I had at the end of my legs, they kept moving in a way that seemed to work. My hips, or what used to be my hips, felt like they were swaying in a way that I tried to stop, but every time I tried focusing on how I was walking, my freaking legs decided to derp out and trip over themselves.
So, what the heck was I supposed to do? I couldn’t exactly show up to my job… or see family… or go to college… I couldn’t think of a single freaking thing I could do like this. I didn’t even have my voice to prove to people that I was me. Oh crap… what if I couldn’t get home? What if someone found me and took me first? No, I knew this area. I could get home. I hoped that Nick wasn’t there. I didn’t have time for his brony crap and he’d probably be super psyched that I was like this.
Oh crap… what if he liked ponies like… that? I didn’t want to say “like me” and didn’t feel like I’d ever be comfortable calling myself a pony. Heck, I didn’t want to ever be comfortable saying that. But Nick… I mean, I thought that he was just weird for liking a little girl’s show, but what if he… wanted me? My freaking brain thought that was the time to start picturing him. He’d be so much bigger than me. Before I could stop myself, I thought about him trying to kiss me, running his hands over my fur. I started shaking and then my stomach spasmed. I threw up into someone’s lawn, tears mixing with snot. Was this just my fate? Was I going to be used by someone?
No, I couldn’t believe that. I had to not believe that. Besides, Brittney and Erin lived with us. Erin wouldn’t be into his crap, so maybe she’d be willing to listen. I guess it didn’t change much – it’s not like I had any family nearby, or like I’d want to talk to them if they were. It was either going home and risk… that… or sleep in the streets. It was too freaking dangerous to stay out here overnight.
It started to rain as I got into my neighborhood. My… just call the freaking things what they are, Alan. My dang hooves hurt, my legs hurt, my back hurt, everything freaking hurt. It was dark. I was cold, wet, everything hurt, and my life was over. What a great freaking day. By the time I got to my door, I was shaking, completely soaked, and felt so weak I could barely put one hoof in front of another. By the way, I don’t know if what I had are like what horses have, but I thought those things were just hard and would keep me off the ground. Mine were still soft and sensitive in the middle, so those things were freaking sore, and I’d stepped on so many freaking rocks I lost count.
I slumped at the door, straining to raise a hoof enough to knock on the door. I really, really freaking hoped Nick was there. If no one was there, I probably wasn’t going to be able to open the door, and that meant I’d probably die right there. To be honest, that didn’t seem like such a bad idea. My life was already over. I didn’t exactly have anything left to live for.
I tried to knock, but I guess my freaking legs were too weak because no one came to the door. I was shivering and it only felt like it was getting colder. I let the backpack fall off of my back and unzipped a pocket with my teeth. I pulled out my keys, but it took me like two freaking minutes just to get my house key lined up. I tried to put it in, but dropped it instead. My teeth were starting to chatter and it was hard to put the key in, because I apparently hadn’t had enough crap for one freaking day.
One more time. I had to do it this time because I probably wasn’t going to be able to do it again. I was starting to lose feeling in my ears and hooves. Ok, Alan, come on. Get up, put your mouth right on the freaking doorknob and…
And slip, you clumsy piece of crap. I fell back onto my butt and just started crying. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even put my freaking key in the lock and so I was going to die out here in the cold. What a freaking day.
I heard someone next to me. I didn't even move, so it was probably good it was Nick and not some psycho or serial killer.
“Are you ok?” He asked.
Crap, right, he wouldn’t even recognize me.
“He… help… ple…help…” I tried to say. Dang it. I guess he got the message, though, because next thing I was inside and getting showered by Nick’s girlfriend.
Now, I’m not going to say I didn’t want them to warm me up or dry me off afterwards. I am so dang glad they were there, because they probably kept me alive. But holy crap I did not want to be touched. My body was so completely new to me and everything felt weird and wrong. I didn’t even want to think about what had happened to me. Every rub of the towel was like sandpaper. I felt like my skin was on freaking fire, and I didn’t even have the will to yell. Everything they touched – and they dried everything off – was a new reminder of how totally and completely screwed I was. The worst part was, I kind of liked it. It just felt nice to get my ears rubbed, and my sore muscles loved this. I hated every second of it, but I hated even more that it felt good. I liked having them touch me, and I hated myself for it.
Erin asked me something, but I didn’t quite catch what she said until the second time.
“Do you like coffee, hon?”
Yeah, normally, but I didn’t want anything. To tell the truth, I just wanted to go lie down and disappear. I shook my head.
“Ok, then, maybe warm milk or hot chocolate?”
Screw this. I get that they were just trying to help, but seriously, I just wanted to be left alone. I tried to harden my voice and get that impression through so they’d just leave me alone.
“I’m fine, I just really want to wake up.”
Well screw me if that wasn’t the most pathetic and sad voice I’d ever heard. I couldn’t even get mad properly. Erin moved my hair out of my face.
First, holy crap, they were big. I guess I was just short now. There was another horse girl in the back, looking at me. Heck, they all looked at me like I was a little kid who needed a band aid or something. Leave me the heck alone! I can handle myself! I was starting to feel a little better, and even felt like I was waking up a bit more. I guess getting dry and warm was most of the problem. My voice came out as sad and weak as ever.
“Nick, it’s me.” His eyebrow raised as he kept looking at me. “Freaking heck,” I muttered. “Dang it, Nick, I’m Alan.”
His and Erin’s eyebrows both shot up. They asked me what had happened, and I told them. I was crying again by the time I got to the end. I don’t know if that was because I was a freaking girl, or if freaking ponies just cried easily, or maybe it was just because I had been through so much freaking crap that I was just done. The red horse girl came close and started rubbing her nose against my neck.
That was a freaking weird feeling. It felt really, really weird, and I didn’t want anything to do with this. She was way too close to me and she was touching parts of me I didn’t want touched, by which I meant any dang part of this freaking body. But at the same freaking time, it felt really nice. She moved on from her nose to the side of her face and then her neck, nuzzling me, and it felt like getting a hug. I just felt warmer inside and even found myself responding to her touch, starting to turn to nuzzle her. I stopped that crap really quickly. I was not a freaking horse and wasn’t going to act like a freaking horse.
Crap, was I starting to think like one? I mean, I wasn’t thinking like an actual horse. At least, I didn’t think so. But what if I started acting like one of those pony things? Freaking heck, wasn’t it enough for me to lose my dang body? Did I have to lose my mind too?
“I’m just… I’m going to sleep,” I said, standing up and going to my room. I made it to the door before remembering that I was a dang pony, and just looked at the doorknob. Nick opened the door for me. I walked into my room and shut the door most of the way, though not enough that I wouldn’t be able to just pull the door back open. When I went to pull myself into my bed, I lost my balance and fell onto my back, hitting my head. I let a yelp out and turned myself over, tears coming back to my eyes. I was just a freaking mess tonight.
Someone knocked on the door.
“Are you ok?” Dang it, Erin, I’m not five years old.
“Yeah,” I said. She didn’t press the issue. I pulled myself onto my bed and got into the blanket. Even lying down felt too freaking weird, and my mind was still going crazy with all the crap that had been happening. I guess, more than anything, I was just so dang scared. I was scared that this was going to last forever, that I was going to lose my mind and forget that I was human, or that I’d be taken over somehow by a girl’s personality. I was so pissed off that I had turned into this freaking pony. One of the worst things was how sensitive I was. Every freaking touch was like a firestorm in my nerves. None of it hurt, but I couldn’t even breathe without half a million reminders that I had lost my hands and balls. I felt like anything could hurt me now, and I huddled deeper inside my blankets, like I was trying to hide from the world or some crap. Freak, I knew I shouldn’t feel that way, but I did.
You want to know what it was like? It was like freaking torture. Everything was hurting me emotionally. Nothing was good about this situation and the single biggest problem, my freaking body, was literally all around me and I couldn’t get away from it.
After a bit of this, I started trying to think about what had happened and see if I couldn’t calm down a bit. Maybe if I couldn’t stop thinking about it, I needed to keep thinking about it until I figured it out. So, some crap happened to me that made me a pony and a girl. Fan-freaking tastic. I don’t think they exactly do surgeries for this kind of crap, so this was probably going to be forever. Freak, more than that, who had done this to me? Yeah, yeah, horse girl at the con probably infected me, but she seemed clueless about what had done it to her in the first place. Maybe the government was doing some kind of tests again and I’d gotten caught up in it.
Crap, that’d be a big freaking problem – they’d probably just take all of us and either kill or change Nick and Erin. I wondered if the other two I saw in the house knew what was going on. Probably not, since they’d be somewhere else if they were with the government. That’s assuming the government was even doing this. I kind of doubted that one, actually. Sure, they were either stupid and incompetent or (more likely) evil and just wanted us to think they couldn’t do anything right. That didn’t mean they could do something like this, though. People like me who knew what was really going on were always talking, and no one had said crap about some government plan to transform people into ponies. That part didn’t even make freaking sense. No, whatever did this probably wasn’t the US government. I wasn’t drugged, since everyone else had been reacting to my new body. So, this was for real, probably not the government, and probably forever.
What the heck was I even supposed to do now? Job chances were pretty much gone. I’d never be able to even open a freaking door again without help. I’d never have a chance with any girl, either. Crap, did I even like girls anymore? Did I like guys now? I felt sick as I thought about guys, both human and pony, coming close and touching me. No, screw that, I’d just go without before getting with a guy.
Could I even stop them, though? I could barely open a car door. Putting on a dang backpack took forever. I wouldn’t be able to stop any guy who wanted to use me. Freaking heck, I was stuck here, wasn’t I? This was forever. I was going to be helpless and scared for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to have to deal with guys wanting to freak me, or have to hide for the rest of my life. Maybe it would be better to just end it. One bang, one flash of pain and light, and then it’d all be over. That’s what stuck in my mind as I fell asleep.
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Chapter Nine
Alan
Things were pretty murky in my head when I woke up. Got awful sleep with these freaking legs and hair everywhere. Yeah, sure, I’d probably get used to it, but it still freaking sucked.
Wait… where am I? I heard a girl ask. My body moved on its own, which moved me all the way to DEFCON 1 because somebody was moving me and it wasn’t me. That’s not ok. I felt myself start to stand up, but this time I stopped it. My body tried again.
“Hey, quit it!” I snarled. Well, ok, I was a girl pony (there’s probably a word for that) so it wasn’t the most impressive of snarls.
Wait, what? The girl’s voice said. I realized that it wasn’t coming in through my ears. I could hear it in my head.
THERE WAS A FREAKING GIRL IN MY HEAD.
Aaaaah! There’s someone in my head!
Glad we agree. Super, great relationship starter with the alien invader.
This is my body! You’re the alien! Get out of me!
“Hey, wait,” I started to say, when I heard banging on the door.
“Alan, we gotta go! It's storming again!” She banged on the door again.
“Um, just a second!” I said. I had to take care of this thing in my head.
This is my head!
Nuh-uh, I was here first.
But where… this isn’t my house! Where did you take me?
I didn’t take you anywhere! What the heck…
Oh, Celestia, what the hay happened?
Wait.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaait.
No. No freaking way.
“Hey, um…”
Don’t talk with my mouth!
“Hey!” I yelled. “I have had a really freaking bad couple of days. I started turning into a freaking horse and turned into a girl and now you’re sitting in my head yelling at me. So how about we both calm the heck down and talk about this!”
I could “hear” her start crying, but it sounded weird. Kind of like she was trying to stifle it. Wait, she could hear my thoughts. Could I hear hers?
I tried it. It wasn’t like I could hear what she was thinking (I guess that worked only one way, lucky me,) but I could feel like how she was feeling.
She felt like crap. She was scared and freaking out and trying to get a handle on things. Awesome. Two of us, then.
“Look, um, sorry. I’m just freaking scared and confused right now. I started turning-”
Yeah, you already said that , she snapped. Jerk. Oh, crap, could she hear that?
She didn’t say anything. She just tried to get control of my body. I tried to stop her, and we kind of wrestled for a few seconds. Suddenly one leg went one way and the other went the other, we were falling, and then we were lying on our back with a headache.
“Oookaaay…” I said slowly. “Can we try the talking thing now?”
She was quiet for a while. Finally,
How do I know you’re telling the truth?
You are literally in my freaking head, I said. Not a lot of room for lies here.
Not a lot of room for anything in here… she said.
Hey, screw you.
But you’re right. So you were a … she struggled for the right word.
“Human?” I asked.
Yeah. Human, and then you turned into a pony?
“Pretty much,” I said, standing up and stretching out my neck.
And then you just woke up today and I was here?
“Mm-hmm.”
Ugh. I’d just got home after a date and now I wake up and I’m on some other planet and there’s some colt in my head!
“Hey, at least you still got all your bits,” I said. “I’ve had to deal with looking like this.”
Hey!
“Yeah, sorry, that sounded bad. Look… ah, screw it. Can we just figure this out?”
She tried to take control again, but this time it was like she was tired or something, because nothing really happened.
“Pony girl?” I asked. She didn’t answer.
Someone knocked on the door. I immediately felt pony girl start freaking out again.
Oh, Celestia, don’t let anyone else know I’m here!
“Come in,” I said. Nick walked in. He glanced at the bed, then back at me. I looked back, which meant looking back over my body (which was freaking weird,) and saw that I’d left the bed looking like someone had a wild night in it. Dang hooves and weird backwards legs.
“Are you ok?” Nick asked.
“Yeah, there’s just a pony girl in my head, but she won’t talk to me.”
Nick’s eyebrows went up. “A pony girl?”
“Yeah, I guess she’s from freaking Equalia or whatever.”
Well, that pissed her right the heck off. It was pretty freaking weird feeling someone else get so angry.
“Um…” Nick said, but whatever brilliant thought he was going to follow that up with got cut off when he got a phone call. He left and I went into the bathroom.
Well, if pony girl wasn’t going to talk to me, I was going to ignore her. I can be a five-year-old too.
Nothing? Dang.
Well, anyway, after taking a piss (which I don’t want to talk about, but dang these hooves make cleanup hard.) I stepped into the shower.
Not going to lie, it felt freaking amazing. I thought it’d be all weird and crap, but it actually felt incredible. Hot showers were awesome. You know when you stretch and the muscle relaxes after? It was like that everywhere, except I had muscles freaking everywhere that I didn’t even know I had. I mean, I guess I really never had them before. I actually gasped when the water poured over my back and down my legs, and then I felt myself smiling.
I just stood there for minutes, slowly turning around. I realized I needed to actually clean myself, though, and looked down at my hooves, then at the sponge thing. I knocked a shampoo bottle on the sponge and pushed down on it, then took the handle part in my teeth (yugh) and started washing myself. I wasn’t any good at it and managed to drop it twice. The third time I went to pick it up, I felt this tingling energy run into my horn and… dang, I don’t have words for this. Pony girl picked up the brush and started to wash us off. Ok, hooves sucked and suddenly being a chick was a pretty freaking big surprise, but if I could use magic…
I turned the shower off (thank goodness it was a lever and not a knob,) rubbed myself against the towel on the wall for a bit, giving up on my mane and tail after just a few seconds, and then drying any part of me I could reach with the towel.
When I was done, I sat and looked at myself in the mirror. We have a long mirror in the bathroom that goes to the floor, so I could see my whole body.
It was more than freaking weird to see myself. I still didn’t think it was me – it was some pony girl with brown hair and green eyes. I did have a tramp stamp of two books now. Still, I thought, as I stood up and turned around, if it was me, I could do a lot worse. She had a good body and was really fit. Her eyes made her look like she was smiling. I mean, just thinking about this, sure, I was probably going to get out of this body and be normal again. I just had to convince a freaking wizard to turn me back. No big deal.
Stop looking at me!
Screw you, you stop looking at me.
Still, there was the problem with pony girl. She’d need to go home, and apparently this was her body. Maybe her body was still hanging around back home, just comatose and crap. Or maybe this was her body and my body. Which was a problem. I was not going to just step aside and let her take control of my life. Heck no. But it wasn’t going to be ok for me to just shut her up and do whatever. Maybe someone would learn about magic enough to get us separated. Course, if that wizard wanted me to be like this, it’d be a hard freaking sell.
My horn started glowing and tingling again. The towel picked itself off the rack, dried off my mane, and started working on my tail. Maybe we wouldn’t be able to convince him to change me back, but maybe he’d pull us apart. So… I’d still be like this?
I looked back up at myself and turned my head slightly to the left. My left ear flopped down, but my right stood up, and I couldn’t help but smile. Not to say that ponies were cute or anything, because that show was still for little girls, but if any pony was cute, I sure as heck was.
Real masculine thought there, big guy.
I opened the door and turned the light off. Maybe I was overreacting yesterday. I mean, I can still get places, I can still talk. I had a pretty great body. This didn’t have to be the end of the freaking world.
Pony girl? Nothing. Look, we got off on the wrong hoof here. I’m Alan. I’m a… I used to be a human guy and I run a podcast for other conspiracy buffs. Waiting. Waiting. Dang. I’ve got… actually, I guess I had heart problems. Heck yeah! I punched the air with one of my front legs. I could feel she was starting to warmup, a bit. I’ve always had girl problems because I was fat and told the truth too much.
She didn’t say anything, but she was suspicious.
Ok, I… I suck at talking to girls. I never really had any friends in high school. Except for the Spookbusters, they’re my podcast audience, and Nick, I still don’t have a lot of friends. I just freaking suck at dealing with people and so now that you’re in my head I had no freaking idea what to do. Especially because I’m a girl and a horse now. I’m really freaking scared.
I’m afraid of heights, pony girl said. And stop calling me ‘pony girl,’ human. I’m Paper Back.
I’m sorry I’m… this is scary for me too, she said, a bit less pissy. I really want to go home. Um, I’m a martial artist and I teach a class for fillies and colts.
Martial artist, eh? That gave me an idea.
I trotted downstairs to the basement. Maybe having pony girl, sorry, Paper Back in my head was helping me walk.
“Paper Back, I don’t know about you, but is this going to help you cool off at all?”
I was looking at a punching bag the last people to live here had left attached to the ceiling. Nick and I had used it maybe once or twice, but it mostly just hung here. She didn’t say anything for a long time, but I felt her emotions start boiling.
Don’t you dare stop me.
“Nope,” I said, and let my body relax.
It didn’t. This mare used her body like an instrument. My leg muscles suddenly exploded with energy and we were flying at the bag, hind leg forward. We connected and my leg felt like steel. Suddenly my horn was glowing and we were running along the wall, jumping back at the bag, this time hitting it with our front legs. It was amazing. The energy from magic pulsed with my heartbeat. Every move felt so natural. It felt so right . Sweat beaded and matted our fur. There was no thought – only anger and frustration and fear and homesickness all getting channeled into crimes of violence against punching bags.
We were a freaking machine . We were like a force of vengeance. This piece of stuffed leather was responsible for everything wrong in our freaking lives and we were going to make it pay. Every hoof hit like a hammer. Magic wrapped around us, making us jump higher, move faster, and hit way the heck harder. The punching bag never stopped moving from the time we started. I felt something change inside her. I don’t know what it was but somehow our emotions got so much stronger. We freaking flew at the punching bag. One of us was screaming, but I don’t have any idea who. Our hind leg connected with the bag so hard it broke off the ceiling and hit the floor with a smack. We stood there, on all fours, panting and grinning like a demon.
Oh that feels so good! Paper Back said. After a second, she started talking. “Thanks. I… I can tell you’re trying to help. I’m sorry, I just got scared when… you know.”
“Yeah,” I said, “I get it.”
“Were you really a colt before you turned into me?” she asked, smiling.
“Well, basically, yeah, and the sooner I get my balls back the better.”
“Eww! Being a mare is so much better. You’ll learn to love it.”
“Hey, Paper Back,” I said, “I don’t want to spoil the mood or anything, but you know I can tell how you feel… and you’re not really this happy.”
“I… yeah. I just always tell my fillies and colts that they need to be strong. Now it’s my turn to be strong.”
“So you have kids?”
“No, they’re my students. I teach martial arts back home, remember?”
I felt my throat tense up and my eyes start to water when she said that. It wasn’t my emotion, though – it was hers.
“So… we don’t have to talk about this,” I started.
“No, it’s ok.” Magic started buzzing in my horn and we lifted the bag off the ground and leaned it on a wall. It took a lot of effort to even drag it. Then we turned around and saw Brittney standing there, looking at us like we were crazy.
“Um…” I started, putting one of my hooves behind my head. “So… introductions. This is Paper Back…”
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Chapter Ten
Nick
I’d been talking to Alan when my mom called. As weird as he was acting, I hadn’t talked to my mom in… heck, months now. I took the phone, my hands shaking. I quickly stepped into my bedroom.
“Hello?”
“Nick? How are you doing?”
How am I doing? I hadn’t talked to her in months and I hadn’t seen her in years. She calls now? What did she want? What was she trying to do? Was she really trying to repair our relationship? Did I even want that?
“Um, fine. You?”
“Pretty well, just getting used to this whole furry thing.”
“Yeah,” I said. There was a long silence.
“Stan and Ashley are doing well. They just had a baby a month ago.”
“Oh, good for them,” I said. I hadn’t heard from my baby brother since the divorce either. Every word, I was waiting for something to happen. I was tense, and getting tenser by the second. Something had to happen to break the tension or release it.
“They’re both pegasuses, but their baby’s a griffon. Funny how that happens, right?”
“Yeah, pretty weird,” I acknowledged. There was another pause. “How’re you and…”
“Raphael? We’re good! He’s got a horn and I’m just a blue horse, no horns or wings.”
“Oh, neat,” I said, voice flat. “Did you ever go back and get your degree?”
“Yes!” she said, voice getting a bit… what was it, exasperated? No… she sounded like she was expecting the conversation to go elsewhere, and was getting frustrated that it wasn’t. “I was in my first year of professional nursing, but I haven’t gone to work since this whole Alexander thing happened. I heard you were working as an EMT?”
“Yeah, yeah, been there for more than a year now.”
“And how are things with… everything that’s happened?” she asked.
“Pretty hectic. Lots of people are having problems when they change,” I replied.
“Oh.” Pause. “You’re going to make me just ask, ok, fine,” she said, quietly. I don’t think she expected me to hear it. Her voice returned to normal volume. “Nick, what did you end up being?”
“Changing into?” I asked.
“Yes, hon,” she said, voice annoyed now. “Are you a horse like the rest of us?”
“No,” I said, and my voice caught.
“Well, tell me already! Are you a griffon?”
“No, mom, I…”
“Just tell me! You’re an adult, Nick, don’t make me play games with you.”
“I’m… still just me.”
Silence. I took that as an invitation to keep talking. “I mean, I haven’t change-”
“I know what you meant,” she interrupted. “So you’re still human? You haven’t lost your face or your hands? You haven’t…” she laughed without humor. “You haven’t lost anything?” I didn’t answer.
“Well, it would be you, wouldn’t it?” she asked. “Wouldn’t it, Nick?! For heaven’s sake, SAY SOMETHING!”
“I…” my head was spinning. This was worse than I had expected. My stomach was twisted up and I felt all kinds of emotions battling out inside me. Confusion, anger and sadness were all trying to make first place.
“Oh, shut up,” she said. “You… how… do you not care how much this hurts? This hurts me, Nick, it really, really hurts.”
“Mom, this is not my fault. I didn’t ask-”
“Oh, that makes it all better! Just because you didn’t ask to stay human, that makes it ok. I mean, we didn’t ask to stay human either, but we got changed? Is that fair? Is it?”
I didn’t know how to respond to this. Was she really mad at me for something I didn’t have any control over? This crap again?
“No, don’t say anything, don’t own up to your mistakes. You’re just like your father.”
A spike of anger shot up and disarmed the careful part of my brain. “No, you listen to me,” I said, grip tightening on the phone. “This is not fair to me either. I didn’t ask for this. I am sick as heck of you getting mad at me for things that are not my fault. I did not ask for this. I did not want this to happen to anyone. Dang it, mom, can’t you see that?”
“Do you know what happened to your cousin, Jeanette? She’s dead because she couldn’t stand to see what she turned into. She killed herself before she lost her hands! People have died ! Raphael can’t go to work anymore without his hands! We’re going to lose the house if he can’t work! You think you can just sit there mocking us? If you’re going to act like crap-”
I hung up. I knew, logically, that she was just scared and confused and taking it out on me. I knew that people everywhere were hurting others because they didn’t know what to do. I knew that I reminded her of what she’d lost.
It was still so dang unfair . I couldn’t even think straight. I clenched my fists as my face burned. It was all I could do to keep in a scream.
I cooled down after a few minutes and stepped out of my room. I had to clean myself up a bit in the bathroom – my face was blotchy and my eyes were red. I glanced up and saw a Hispanic guy with the whole freaking world on his shoulders. This whole situation was just crap. If my mom thought I’d-
I looked over to the left and saw Erin. She was standing in our room in front of a mirror. Her new legs bent in when they got to her hips in a weird way, and she had to keep her top hooves pressed against the wall to keep up her balance. She turned to the side, looking at herself from a different angle, then lifted a leg a few times. She seemed to be watching how it moved.
Looking at her eyes, I could see a mixture of different emotions. Fear, curiosity, apprehension… acceptance? Nah… this was more of an “I can work with this” face than a “this is awesome!” face.
My own emotions started to split. One camp was convinced that I needed to be there for her. No matter what, right? Hadn’t I promised her the world? Told her I’d never leave her side? Promised to be there no matter what happened? She was Erin .
The other side wasn’t going down so easily, though. Sure, she seemed like the same girl, but the simple fact was she wasn’t going to be for very much longer. Already she had hooves and fur. Was I really going to be comfortable kissing a horse?
But she wasn’t a horse. Brittney didn’t look like a horse – she looked like, well, Brittney. Sure, her face was a little longer and her eyes were a little bigger. But she was no more a horse than I was a gorilla.
My emotions felt evenly split. Erin was my girlfriend. She wasn’t my first. She was turning into a pony. But she was still her.
So, Nick. What’s more important to you? How much do you really care about her?
I walked into the room behind her. She turned and looked at me.
"You don't have to pretend to like me," she said miserably. "I'm not even freaking human anymore."
“Listen,” I said. “We should talk.”
The door shut behind us. I leaned in and kissed her forehead. She was starting to shake.
"I love you," I whispered, "and I'd walk through hell for you."
"I'm sorry," she said, "I need to sit down." I helped her sit on the bed. She let her legs relax in a very pony-like pose, then looked down at them.
"But, Nick... I'm not..." she started to say. I put a finger on her lips and she locked eyes with me
"You're still you," I said, "whether you're human or pony. I don't care if you have hooves or fur. I love you." I kissed her.
When we pulled back, she was crying, I was crying. She reached for a box of tissues with a hoof before letting out a loud sniffle and pulling it back.
“I’ve got it,” I said, as I took a tissue and wiped her nose with it. She rested her head against my chest and put her arms around me.
"We'll do whatever we can to stop this and turn you back," I said. "But even if we can't, nothing changes for us. We'll still go out, I'll still love you, and I'll always be here for you."
“Even if I’m a horse?” she said, half her words interrupted by her crying. I kissed her forehead.
“You’ll be the prettiest mare in the world.”
She snorted. “You told me you didn’t like ponies like that! Back when we started dating?”
“Things changed when the girl I loved started becoming one,” I said. I pulled her in close as she continued to talk.
“I just… I feel so helpless. I mean, these things are useless,” she said, holding up a hoof. “People are gonna have to treat me like a baby.”
I took her hoof in my hand. “I think things are going to work out, though. I mean, millions of people have probably changed. Most of them can’t use magic, so they’re going to have to figure things out. It’ll probably take a few months and maybe years, but people can be kind of clever when they have to be. Besides,” I added as I pulled her onto my lap. “We might even figure out a way to stop Alexander. Maybe make him reverse it.”
“Maybe,” she said, but she didn’t sound hopeful.
“I mean, he’s just one guy, right? And the whole freaking world wants to stop him. We can probably figure out a way to do it. Or maybe the people I’m talking to will figure out a way to turn people back.” I’d told her about the meeting. She wasn’t thrilled.
“I still don’t know if you should talk to them again,” she said. “They seem pretty dangerous. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
I was quiet for a bit. “But what if they can help me get you back to normal?”
She didn’t answer, but she hugged me. I held her for a few minutes.
“I do have to go to work,” I said. She pulled back reluctantly. “Got to go save lives,” I added. She nodded, then put her hooves on either side of my face.
“Are you sure it isn't weird if I touch you with these?” she asked. “Actually, if it is, you’re just gonna have to deal with it. I want to touch my boyfriend even if I don’t have fingers anymore.”
I brought both her hooves in front of my chest, running my thumb along the soft underside. “It’s not weird, it’s… ok, it’s a little different.”
“A little ?” she asked.
“A lot different. They’re warm and soft in the middle, and the outside’s hard but it’s not sharp or anything.” I kissed one. Erin wrinkled her nose at that.
“Ew! That’s like kissing my feet! Oh, wait, aren’t there princess ponies?”
“Well, yeah-”
“I demand that you kiss the royal hoof!” she said, holding her hoof up in front of my face. I rolled my eyes but obliged her, taking her hoof in my hand and making as much a show of it as possible.
“Oh, my queen,” I said, “thy way with words is beyond measure.”
“Shut up,” she said, and kissed me.
I let go of her… arm hooves. Sure, that’s a name that makes sense.
“Be safe,” she said a bit more somberly.
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Chapter Eleven
Alan
Oh crap. I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. I was actually going to freaking die.
“And some of the dragons are like Spike and are nice to get along with, but most are mean and terrible. Princess Eclipse’s boyfriend is half dragon, but they can’t be together because his dad hates the ponies. He only ra-”
So this started as a good idea. Or at least a non-suicidal idea. Brittney wanted to talk to Paper Back about Equestria and I was like, whatever, probably good for both of them, right? Brittney gets to learn about her pony world and Paper Back gets to, you know, calm down and crap. Then we got into the whole mess of “Oh, by the way, we have a TV show about you,” and explaining that crap. People, you know what, if you don’t want to see what the government’s doing under your noses, whatever. But when there’s a freaking TV show about a freaking parallel universe and it’s all freaking right , there’s some crazy crap going down.
“-but even Princess Celestia got turned into a mannequin! So then Princess Eclipse had to fight Rarity and steal the book and use its powers to turn everypony back, so that’s how she got her third cutie mark.”
So explaining all that to Paper Back had been a heck of a conversation. But even that wasn’t this bad. Paper Back had been acting pretty weird during all of the explanation. I mean, that made sense, but she just kept getting distracted and kept saying how tired she felt. I mean, we’d only been up for like an hour or two. All of a sudden she’d passed out. Just like… gone. I mean, she was still there, but she was definitely asleep. Probably some magic crap.
“and then when Discord turned evil again and turned all the ponies into bats, only Princess Eclipse could talk to him about friendship. So she had to use her dead mother’s jewelry…”
I’d asked Brittney if I’d be able to use magic like I thought I would. That was forty-five freaking minutes ago and she still hadn’t stopped talking. Yes, unicorns could use magic. Pegasi also had magic, which they used to fly and walk on clouds, apparently. Then that led into all the freaking races, dragons, dogs, freaking buffalo, all kinds of crap. And every dang time she had to mention that dang “Princess Eclipse.” Brittney’s crap “OC” had apparently done everything and met everyone worth knowing, had all kinds of special powers and adventures, but noooooo, she’s still so tormented and distraught.
Dang it, I just wanted to know what kind of magic I could do, not a whole freaking lecture on a TV show or that freaking Princess Eclipse . At least all this talking had finally fixed that stupid lisp thing she had going on.
Brittney was still talking. Of course she was still talking. Somehow she’d actually run full circle and gotten back to what I had first asked her. Freaking miracle.
“And so that’s how everyone has magic in Equestria.”
She stopped. Holy crap, she stopped.
“Yeah, thanks for all that,” I said.
“So were you listening?” she asked.
Freak. I couldn’t tell her no.
“Yeah, yeah. I can move crap around, right?”
“Yep!” she nodded energetically.
“And winged ponies can fly and walk on clouds and crap.”
“Mm-hmm!” she nodded again. Hey, I wasn’t doing too badly. “And earth ponies?” she asked.
Crap.
“They… um… don’t get magic, right?”
“No, we get super strong and have a special connection to the earth. Remember?”
Nope.
“So you can, like, talk to trees?”
“No, it just means that we can be super good at farming, which is why almost all farmers are earth ponies.”
My mouth made an observation before I could stop it. “That kind of sucks for you, though. I mean, I get freaking magic, some ponies get to fly, but you just get good at farming and are strong? I mean, horses are always freaking strong.”
“Not like us,” she said. “We’re really strong.”
“Uh huh,” I said, not convinced. She tilted her head to the side.
“You guys have a fruit tree outside, right?”
“Yeah,” I said. “It’s the apartment’s. None of it’s good, though, and they don’t like people taking any.”
She started heading towards the door. “I’m gonna go buck the fruit off. Come watch!”
Well, crap, this’d be entertaining. We went outside. A couple people were outside, but barely any. They looked at us but stayed away and didn’t freak out. At least people knew about Alexander and what he was up to. The day felt like crap anyway, so no one was staying out. After a minute or two, we were alone and by the tree. It hadn’t felt huge when I had two legs, but trees are big when you’re like four feet tall. I really didn’t think Brittney was going to do anything except hurt her legs.
She walked up to the tree, turned around, and gave it a kick with both back legs. The leaves shook a little.
“Uh huh, you’re really strong…” I said. She shook her head.
“Let me try that again,” she said, before kicking the tree a lot harder. This time a few leaves fell off.
“Oh, fantastic, pony girl,” I said, putting as much sarcasm in as I could. “Earth ponies are really strong,”
“No, I’m just,” she said, but I kept talking.
“You’re just like unicorns and pegasuses.”
“Pegasi!”
“Whatever. Being strong is-”
She glared at me. Her nostrils flared, she snorted, and then she bucked. There was this huge freaking crack , splinters went everywhere, and then the whole freaking tree fell over. We sat there, staring at the shattered stump and fallen tree for a few seconds, before Brittney started giggling.
“Holy freaking crap…” I said, poking at the stump.
“Do you wanna see it again?” she asked, still giggling.
“Crap, no, let’s… holy crap.” I really hadn’t expected her to be that strong. “Let’s get inside quick.” We headed for the door.
“Did that hurt your legs?” I asked, looking at her and keeping my distance. I couldn’t help noticing the muscles in her legs now. They looked a lot more dangerous than they had before.
“No, it felt really good, actually,” she said. “Just bunching up all that energy and then WHAMMO! I wanna do it again!”
“Better not,” I said, as she pushed open the door. “We don’t want people coming after us for breaking their crap.”
I walked past Brittney and she stuck her nose in my freaking mane. Hair, I mean.
“You smell good,” she said.
“Ok,” I said. That’s not creepy at – freaking crap, Paper Back! She’d stopped me from talking.
“Thanks, Britt,” she said.
“Can I touch your mane?” she asked. Without waiting for an answer, she started rubbing her hooves through our hair.
“Um… ok,” Paper Back said, sitting down. Brittney found our horn and started rubbing it. It was a weird feeling – you couldn’t actually feel anything that touched it, because it was hard, but there was this weird tingly magic crap that I could feel around Brittney, and I could tell that was rubbing my horn.
“Can you feel this?” she asked.
“No,” Paper Back said, standing up slowly, “Unicorn horns are bone and-”
“Oh! Did unicorns used to fight with their horns like deer do with their antlers?”
“I guess… I wasn’t ever really good at history.”
“So can we pick things up with your hooves like they do in the show?”
“Um,” Paper Back said, starting to get a little flustered.
Heh heh heh. See, I tried to stop this…
“Nope, just with magic or your mouth,” she said.
Be nice. She doesn’t mean anything bad. She’s just curious and this is helping her handle what’s happening to her.
She seems fine to me.
Alan, nopony could go through a body change like this and be fine. Brittney just handles it differently than you do.
“And how do you do your hai-mane and tail if you don’t have magic?” she said, holding up her front hooves. “I tried and I just made a mess.”
I looked up as Erin suddenly appeared at the door. Thank goodness. She was crying and almost fell on top of us.
“Britt, I need you to come with me. We have to go to the hospital.”
“Hospital?” I asked. “Are you ok? Is Nick ok?”
“Alan, it’s fine, we just have to go. Now!”
They left in a rush. “Ok then,” I called out to the empty air. “I’ll just be here.” I walked back inside and shut the door behind me. It was getting easier and easier to use magic for simple things, though I was nowhere near the control and power Paper Back had shown off earlier.
“So, Paper Back...” I said. She didn't answer right away. "Paper Back?" When she answered, she was like, really quiet.
“I’m so tired all of a sudden…” she said. “I’m… going to nap.”
And she was gone. Well, that was weird. Now that she was asleep, though, that gave me an idea. Something that might help a bit. I pulled out my phone and dialed a number. Thank goodness magic somehow worked on touchscreens. I held the phone between my ear and mouth, and flicked my ear towards the speaker. A girl answered.
“Amy? It’s Alan. Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m a mare now.” I waited for her giggling to stop. Every freaking time someone who knew me before found out…
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she said, still giggling.
“So on facebook you said you still have your hands?” I asked.
“Yeah! I mean, I’m learning to use my horn, but I’ve still got my hands for now.”
“Cool. Can you come over? I have a favor I want to ask.”
When Paper Back woke up, Amy was already here. She’d turned into a furry, so she had like hind hooves, a tail, and a muzzle, but she still had her hands. One of her hands only had 4 fingers now, so she wasn’t staying like this.
“Hi!” Amy said. Paper Back blinked.
“Paper Back, this is Amy,” I said.
“Hi!” she said, surprised. Our eyes were dancing over Amy’s body. I could tell PB wasn’t super sure what to do with this.
“So Alan asked me to come over,” Amy said. “I’m an artist and I draw a lot of ponies.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I thought you could, like, talk to her about what your family looks like and she could try drawing them.”
Paper Back didn’t respond.
“You know,” I said, starting to feel more and more awkward. “So you could have something that at least kind of looks like them…”
Paper Back teared up and stomped a hoof. “I… I wish I could hug you!” she said.
“Oh,” I said and smiled. Thought I’d freaked up for a second there. Amy sat down with her tablet and started drawing as Paper Back described her family. There were four of them – her dad “Dusty Codex,” who was dark gray and a pegasus. Her mom, “Paper Mache” who was almost white, was a unicorn. So were her older brother “Sharp Cut” and her little sister “Livrette.” I couldn’t see Paper Back’s memories, but judging by how she felt as the picture filled out, Amy did a dang good job. It took them a couple hours, just going over the different details. Amy asked all kinds of questions about what real ponies were like. I was mostly trying to figure out my next move.
Because screw standing still and just letting crap happen. Alexander was going to get Paper Back back home and put me back in my body. The government might be cooperating with him, but if they weren’t, they’d be trying to take him out. Crap, would they try to nuke him? I mean, that’d mean nuking the States. Hope not, because there wasn’t a lot you could do about a freaking nuclear attack.
Nah, that’d be retarded. If they weren’t working with him (or for him,) they’d want to get his powers, right? And that meant keeping him alive. Especially because a ton of us had magic now. It wasn’t going to be so easy for him to do crap.
Maybe he was just doing this solo. Just some screwed up old wizard. Maybe it wasn’t even really him!
Nope, bad idea. I had a tail and lady bits. It had to be magic. Hmm. What could we do?
I kept thinking about it for a while. It was a pretty dang screwed up situation. Amy finished at some point and we got the picture printed. Looked freaking awesome, too. Paper Back did this weird hug thing where she rubbed her face against Amy’s neck.
It’s how we hug! You’re weird that you use your front legs.
Too busy to come up with a good reply.
We said goodbye and thanks to Amy. I paid her what we’d agreed on.
“Hey,” Paper Back said as we hung up the picture. “I want to thank you. That was really sweet.”
“Yeah, no problem,” I said.
“I just… it’s going to remind me of home.” She said.
“Yep.”
“I…” her voice caught. Just for a second, but I was her. Kind of. So I caught it.
“It’s ok.” I said. “You’ll get back to them. I promise.”
“Hug,” she said.
“Um… I kind of…” I said.
“No, I mean I can’t actually hug you so… ‘hug.’” She shrugged. “So what were you thinking about?”
“I really want to talk to the people who made the My Little Pony show.” I said. “They know way, way too much.”
“Ok, but Brittney said there were four versions of the show, and they were all different,” Paper Back started.
“But this one’s exactly like what’s going on in your world,” I said.
“Well, I don’t know! I don’t know any of those mares. I don’t even have family in Ponyville.”
“But there is a Ponyville, and a Canterplace and a Horsehatten?”
She rolled our eyes. “Close enough, but yeah.”
“And the princess and the whole monster thing with Satan?”
“Who?”
“Um, red, beard, horns, freaking giant.”
“Tirek?” she asked. She shuddered. “Yes. That definitely happened. I remember.”
“Ok. There’s no freaking way that’s a coincidence.”
“Do you think they might be ponies?” she asked. “Like they were brought here and turned into humans?”
“Eh, they’d have to be a part of a conspiracy to fit in that easily,” I said. “Which I’m not ruling out…”
“Oh, wait! Maybe they just have magic and they can see into our world?”
“Or maybe they have secret government contacts and we figured out wormholes decades ago.”
“What if they can see other universes?”
“Maybe the Illuminati are aliens and they’ve been to both worlds…”
“Ugh,” Paper Back said. “These are just ideas, though, and we can’t find out.”
“We have to talk to them.” I realized. “We have to find them and talk to them. Maybe they’ll know why this is happening to us!”
We went online to try and find out more. Turns out we weren’t the first people to think of this. Or even the ten thousandth. The official story was that the head writers, directors, animators etc. had all gone into hiding. More likely the government had arrested them, or they were taken back to their secret headquarters…
I could feel Paper Back giggling and rolling our eyes again.
“What?” I asked.
“Your ideas are so silly,” she said. “Maybe they’re just confused and scared like the rest of us? Or maybe Alexander put it into their heads somehow?”
Well those ideas were… I mean, that’s just… reasonable.
"Um... not changing the subject or anything..." she said.
"Yeah?" I asked.
"But... can we watch some of the TV show? I want to see what it's like!"
Ugh. Fine, I guess. I'd just have to deal with it. Couldn't be that bad, could it?
"My Little Pony, My Little Pony..."
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Chapter Twelve
Nick
“Ok, he’s strapped in, lift on three. One. Two. Three!” the minotaur yelled to me over the noise. We lifted the stretcher off the ground and into the ambulance. The minotaur, Randy, no longer fit in there, so I went in first. Inside, the noise was a little quieter. I wiped soot and sweat off of my forehead.
The scene outside was barely controlled chaos. Multiple car pileup. Dozens wounded. It’d started when an 18-wheeler’s driver started turning into a griffon. He’d panicked, swerved, and now this had happened. A few cars were on fire, but there were no serious burn victims. At least, none that we’d found.
Patient is unconscious with multiple complex, closed fractures. Serious bruising and lacerations. Prep IV at lower dose to compensate for weight. Bandage cuts and apply pressure to stop the bleeding.
Ethan, one of the other emergency responders, stepped into the ambulance, but when he saw it was me, he backed out, glaring. He’d turned into a unicorn, so I thought he’d be one of the few still able to use medical equipment and should be happy about that. But no, I was the big bad guy for still not having fur. At least Randy was pretty cool about the whole thing. I’d seen his change – it’d happened in the locker room. He went from six feet and skinny to eight feet and massive in just a few seconds. He’d brushed off his shredded clothes, flexed his muscles, and then actually nodded.
“Hey, Espinoza,” he’d grumbled in his new voice. “You want to go grab me some extra-large scrubs?”
And then he went to work. I couldn’t quite understand it, but maybe some people were just that resilient, or maybe he’d prepared himself for it.
Or it could just be that he knew people would need him. A female pegasus hopped up into the ambulance, quickly closing the doors behind her with a pedal some guys had rigged up. We started driving off.
The pegasus we had on the stretcher had his bones broken in at least a dozen places. None of those were from the car crash, although he had a pretty bad cut. He didn’t have normal injury marks, either. Why had that happened? How'd he get so badly hurt? It was almost like the change was hurting him, but that was ridiculous. At least this guy wasn’t too badly off. A few months in casts and he’d be fine.
I had to do almost all the precision work, but the pegasus, Kyra Miller, did her best with what she had. She had me prep an IV, but she managed to get it inserted on her own, and bandaged up the guy’s cuts. It wasn’t perfect, but it’d work fine, and I didn’t want to redo it in front of her. It seemed important to her to still be able to do her job.
Once we’d gotten the patient to the point that he wasn’t actively dying, she sat back and let out a deep breath. She’d been moving very quickly, using all four limbs and keeping herself hovering just above the patient.
“You’re a godsend, Espinoza,” she said. “We need new covers for those dang needles so we can open them when you’re not here.”
I looked down at my hands and flexed my fingers, but didn’t say anything.
“I don’t know what you’ve got going on that you’re still you, but please don’t kill it.” She wiggled and turned, grimacing. “I can’t figure out how to… stupid wings are always in the way. And I thought boobs were bad.” She said.
“You have to lie forward,” I said, but she cut me off.
“I know I’m supposed to lie down like an animal, but guess what, Espinoza, I’m not an animal. I am still a person and I’m not… dang it, sorry.”
At the hospital, we pulled the stretcher in. I was hoping to get a drink before moving on, but immediately I was grabbed and almost literally tossed into another ambulance.
Everywhere I went, they had me working on equipment, opening things, faster, hurry up, come on, human. Driving, speeding, grab the equipment, insert things. Then drive, go, get out, removing things, injecting, preparing, go, drive, get out, lifting, pulling, cutting.
And I knew why. Unicorns could probably eventually learn to do all this with their magic, but no one was really precise enough yet to do that. The minotaurs had four fingers per hand, and they were usually too thick to help. Griffons’ claws were just slightly more useful than hooves for delicate tasks, as it turned out.
So take all of this into account – how mentally and physically tired I was after just a few hours of this, and most of my shift was still ahead of me. I finally, finally had a few moments when no one was yelling at me to get something done. I’d gotten a voicemail. It was from Erin.
But I couldn’t leave – people needed me. It’s not like I was an accountant or an auditor or something – I literally kept people alive. I mean, sure there were other people here as well, but we were seriously down on employees at the moment.
One voicemail from Erin. I played it.
“Nick… please,” she said. Her tone made my heart stop. “Please come home. I was at the doctor’s and… Nick… please…”
Ok. I took a minute to wash off my face, arms, and hands, and then I went to talk to my boss.
“Espinoza, talk to me,” he said, rapidly scribbling down something. His handwriting had actually improved slightly now that he used magic to write.
“Something’s wrong with my girlfriend, she just got back from the hospital and needs me there now. It sounds like an emergency.”
“We’re dealing with emergencies right now,” he said. “That’s what you signed up for. I’ll need you to work the full shift and then at least a half after that.”
“What? No, I can’t. It’s my girlfriend. I have to at least see if she’s ok. Then I’ll come back.”
He shook his head. “We don’t even have time for you to have this conversation. You may not have noticed, Espinoza, but hands are at kind of a premium right now. We can’t have you leave. Now get out there and work.”
“Look, sir,” I started.
“There are people dying , Espinoza, and our guys can’t help them because they’ve got these stupid bricks for hands. You can save people.”
“They’re managing,” I said, “Miller doesn’t even have magic and she’s doing IV’s.”
“Freaking fantastic,” he said. “We still need you here. Now. I’m not trying to be cruel. Once things are calmed down you can take a nice, long vacation with your girlfriend, but right now we have to have you here.”
I knew I was crossing a line with this next sentence, but… it was Erin. She was in trouble. I had to help her. My boss was married. He’d have to understand, right?
“What if it was your wife?” I asked. My boss looked up at me, half shocked that I’d even say that. “Would you stay if it was the other way around?”
His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t reply. I saw him glance to the side, where he kept a picture of himself and his wife. He appeared to be thinking it over, but then he shook his head.
“I’m sorry, Espinoza. You’re too valuable right now.”
I felt my face harden. My boss frowned. “If you go now, don’t come back,” he said quietly. “It’s up to you.”
I sped the whole way home. My mind was racing with all kinds of possible scenarios. Cancer. Severe burns. Poison. Suicide attempt. Car crash. Gunshot. There weren’t very many cars on the road as I raced through red lights. Good thing, in hindsight.
When I got inside, my heart was still racing. I heard Erin crying and Brittney and Alan talking to her. Even before I could say anything, Erin stood up and pulled herself close to me. I held her and tried to help my heart calm down. Breathe in through the nose. Wait. Out through the mouth. Wait. Repeat.
I could feel Erin shaking. Not just because she was crying – her knees weren’t supposed to stand like this anymore. I helped her sit down. I couldn’t even talk. There was this huge pressure and hot pain in my throat as I looked at the woman I loved. She could barely talk.
“I… we… the doctor said… he said that people aren’t always changing right and my…” Erin sniffed loudly. “My eyes aren’t changing right and I’m gonna be blind!”
The entire planet fell onto my shoulders. No...
“Wha-what am-m-m I go-gonna do?” Erin hiccupped. I just gently pulled her in for another hug. Hot tears stung my eyes. We cried together for a few minutes before I could finally enunciate.
"No..." I said. "This was... you were..."
"How am I gonna do a-anything?" Erin asked, her voice still broken and jumping.
I fell back against the couch. All my strength and energy was gone.
"No, no," I said. "This isn't fair. This isn't FAIR! The magic was supposed to fix problems, not make them worse!"
"Wha-a-at are you s-saying?" Erin asked, hugging herself.
"Brittney had broken legs before she changed! I thought this would fix me- I mean..."
Crap. I got too emotional and I slipped. Good for you, Nick.
"Nick, you told me you were ok. You told me it was fine!" Erin said, her tone shifting from upset to accusing. "Did you lie to me? Nick?"
I let out a deep, long breath. There wasn't anything I could do at this point. Might as well come clean.
"Look, I... you know I went to the doctors a lot about four months ago."
"Yes, and you said they thought you'd hurt your back playing soccer. Did you lie to me?"
"It... they found a... it's like a tumor, but it's a very rare condition. It doesn't show any symptoms until you get close to the end."
Erin couldn't even talk. She just held herself, eyes wide and streaming with tears. Alan, who I'd forgotten was there, just stared at me with an expression somewhere between crying and shouting. Brittney just sat on the floor crying.
"Why didn't... can they do anything?" Erin asked in a tiny voice.
"No," I said, shaking my head. "Treatment would make me live a few months longer, and it'd be painful the whole time. I... didn't want anyone else to suffer, so-"
"So you lied to me? You told me you were fine when you knew you were dying and you didn't trust me?"
"No, Erin, I didn't want you to know so it wouldn't hurt you. There's nothing they can do!"
She stood up from the couch and started walking towards the stairs.
"Erin," I said.
"Don't!" she yelled back. I heard her lock herself in a room upstairs. I didn't follow.
"Holy crap, dude," Alan said.
"I don't need to hear it," I bit back. "I'll be back tonight." I left, got in my car, and drove without a direction in mind. I didn't make it far before tears started to fall.
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Chapter Thirteen
Alan
Well, crap. That was a lot of drama. I guess Nick was freaking dying or something. That freaking sucked. Brittney went upstairs to try and talk to Erin and I just sat there.
Alan, we need to talk to Brittney! Paper Back said.
"Oh, ok,” I said. “She’s kind of busy..."
But, didn't Nick say she broke her legs?
"Uh, yeah, like a month ago or something, but she's got pony legs now."
A month ago? She was freaking shocked. Like, completely blown away by that.
"Yeah. Why are you so freaked out about this?"
She just started walking us up the stairs.
"Brittney!" she called. Brittney walked towards us, her ears and tail low. Paper Back immediately started nuzzling her.
Ah, freak, her fur’s in my nose and crap. Did you really have to do that? I "said."
Why are you so cold about this? Are you really that heartless?
She was pissed. What the heck?
You know that Nick fought with Erin, not Brittney, right?
"I can't believe you broke your legs," Paper Back said. "How many was it?"
"Um, both of them," Brittney said, "cuz humans only have two."
"Oh Celestia, Brittney, that's so scary! I'm so glad you're ok now."
My mind finally put together an idea. I hijacked control of my mouth again.
"Paper Back, you know that we're ok if we break our legs, right? I mean, humans break bones all the dang time, and we're fine. We just need to put a cast on that crap and don't be stupid for a while."
She stared at Brittney and our jaw dropped.
"So you... you're fine if you break your leg? You can just heal that?"
"Yeah," I said. "Is that not how it works for you?"
"No! If somepony breaks their leg we... we usually can't fix that. Our leg bones don't heal very well, and it's not like we can stop using them."
"So what do you do?" Brittney asked before I could stop her. "I mean, we shoot horses whe-"
I may have put my hoof over her mouth a little too quickly. She fell back, holding her lip, and Paper Back yelled "Alan!"
"Oh, freak, sorry!" I said and I helped Brittney stand back up. She wasn't bleeding, but her lip was starting to swell up. "Freak, sorry, I was just trying to cover your mouth, but... you know... hooves."
"I know what guns are, Alan, and I know you shoot horses when they break their legs."
"Not anymore," Brittney said, "we use drugs that make them fall asleep and then they die." So normally, she got this happy tone whenever she was talking about horses and ponies, because she loved that crap. Kind of out of place when we're talking about death, though.
"Yeah that's... I mean, you don’t have a lot of options when that happens. But it's really hard to break our legs, too, so it's not like it happens every day."
The heck? You mean I could break my leg now and die ? Crap.
"Can we not talk about death?" I asked. "I'm already scared of heights, now I have to be afraid that my legs are going to snap."
"Yeah, um, actually, can I ask Paper Back a question?"
"Sure!" she said. Great, we'd finally be getting off of the whole "how you can die, now that you're a freaking horse," topic. They could talk about whatever the heck they wanted as long as it wasn't about the crap I had to worry about as a mare.
Brittney bit her lip. "It's kind of a weird question... is Alan listening?"
"Britt," I said, "as long as we're changing the subject, you can talk about whatever the heck you want."
"Ok!" she said. "So do ponies get their period?"
Ugggggggggggggggh.
When they got done with that… ugh… conversation (I know I’m a mare now I still don’t want to know about my naughty bits I’m not ready for that dang it) Paper Back trotted over to Erin’s door. She knocked.
“Hey Erin? I had a few random questions.”
“Oh, yeah, just let me…” she fumbled with the door for a minute. No, like it almost took her an entire minute to unlock it.
I’m not unlocking it because, Paper Back started.
She needs to be able to do it on her own, I said.
Yeah. See, you’re getting it!
Erin opened the door and came out. We went downstairs. Brittney was in the bathroom, brushing herself or looking at her teeth or something.
“Thanks,” Paper Back said. “I needed some space for a minute. I like talking to Brittney but she has SO MANY questions. Like SO MANY.”
Erin giggled. “Yeah, she gets like that when she gets excited. You just have to let her know she’s asking too many questions.”
“Ok, I’ll try that. Did you have any questions for me? Like, it’s ok, I know you’re not used to hooves and I’ve had them pretty much my whole life.’”
“Yeah, um, how do you trim them?” Erin said. “We have nail clippers but these are a little too big for those.”
“There are actually hoof trimmers,” Paper Back said, “you should have those in your world. You have… I mean, they’re not ponies, but you call them ponies. I can’t call them ‘earth ponies’ because those exist already.”
Terran, I said.
What ? She asked.
Terran. It’s like another word for earth or something anyway I’m sorry I wasn’t listening I promise.
Paper Back smiled a little. “Anyway, you pon- you humans have… terran ponies and they have hooves too. Our hooves are more sensitive, though, and we have bigger frogs, so you have to be careful.”
“What’s the frog?” Erin asked.
“This,” Paper Back said, holding up a hoof and pushing on the soft part with her other hoof. Erin looked at her own hooves and poked one.
“Can I ask a question?” Paper Back asked.
“Sure!” Erin said.
“What did Brittney look like before she turned into a pony?”
“Ok, let me show you,” Erin said. She got her purse, fumbled around for her smartphone, and brought it out pinched between her two front hooves. Then she held it out to us.
“Can you use it? I don’t want to try to use it with hooves.”
“Uhh….” Paper Back said, looking at the, and I quote, “science box.”
“I’ll tell you what to do,” she said. We unlocked the phone (magic is freaking awesome) and found some pictures of Brittney.
“Oh, cool!” Paper Back said, leaning in close. “So this has pictures in it?”
“Kind of,” Erin said. “It does a lot of things.” Paper Back noticed something weird in a picture. Weird to her, anyway.
“Why does she have blue on her… um… the squirmy things you have instead of hooves?”
“Fingers? Oh, we paint our nails. It makes them look pretty.” Erin suddenly grinned. “Hey, I think I have some nail polish that’s exactly your eye color,” she said, and went upstairs.
Uggggggggggggh, I said.
You get your time all day every day. Let me have some mare time.
So… you do paint your hooves?
No, we don’t have that, but… I kind of want to see what it looks like.
Erin came down, holding a bag on her arm.
All right, I guess it is your body.
And don’t you forget it!
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Nick
I got a ticket for speeding. Of course I didn't get one earlier, when I was going like twenty over trying to get home to see my girlfriend, but now that I was just trying to blow off some steam, of course I do. Fantastic. The officer was a grey pegasus that had his flashlight and badge strapped to his chest. It kind of looked like they modified the vest a police dog might use, but I didn't say that. I was already in trouble.
The officer had a flashlight? I'd been out for longer than I thought. It must have been a few hours.
This whole freaking magic thing was a piece of crap. I had magic or something, and that's probably why I hadn't changed yet, which meant that not only did it not do anything good for me, but it kept it from fixing me and kept me and my girlfriend as different freaking species. And then it turns out it doesn't even matter, sometimes people get screwed up when they're changing!
But there was an even bigger piece of crap than this whole magic thing. Me. I knew, I freaking knew that I should have told Erin right from the beginning. It just...there'd never been a good time. There never was a moment that felt like I could have told her. Man, that felt like a flimsy excuse now. What was I going to do? Could I apologize for something like this? Breaking her trust for so many months?
On top of that, I'd just lost my job for her. What was I going to do now? Go back and beg for my job back? And what about Erin? The pony thing was bad enough, but blind?
I had magic inside me. That's what Manuel had said. Maybe I could go talk to him again. He said he didn't really have healing magic, but he also said that what I had was different. Could this be the key?
I pulled up to the Langan center. The lights were on inside, and the doors wide open. I parked, but before I got out, I noticed someone skulking in the shadows. I stepped out of my car, keeping an eye on the figure, and started towards the center.
"Nick!" I heard someone whisper loudly. I turned around. Manuel was running towards me, surprisingly quick, especially given his age. I looked around, but no one else was in the lot.
"What?" I asked.
"I am so glad to find you before you go in there. My boy, why are you here?"
"Looking for you, actually. We need to talk."
"Yes, yes, but now is not a good time. There is..." he looked around, "the Order has suffered a schism. A large part of them are in there now," he said, pointing at the center, "and they are inciting the people to riot. They have strange and violent beliefs, Nick."
"Ok, fine, I'll leave them alone. Can we talk about what's been going on? I have some questions for you."
"Of course, but not in the open. I do not want them to see me, neither see you with me. Come this way."
We drove off until we got to a quiet, deserted part of the city. He kept driving as we talked.
"You are very brave," he said, "to get in a car with a man you barely know. Perhaps you do not worry yourself about what this old man can do to you?" He smiled and I chuckled.
"I wanted to talk to you about what you can do, actually." I said.
"Your condition." he said. "You are dying and look for physical salvation."
"Yeah... if by salvation you mean 'getting healed.' You said I had magic inside me. Is that why I'm still human?"
He nodded. "You possess a degree of magical resistance that I have never seen before. It doesn't simply hit a wall, like it does with our defenses. It flows around you. Our defenses cannot hold on forever, and given time even I would succumb to Alexander's transformation spell. But you... you may be able to hold out forever, without any effort on your part."
"Great. How do I make the protection go away?"
"I do not know. It is an intrinsic part of you - as much a part of who you are as your memories."
"And there's no way, not one, that someone else can remove that or even make it go down for a minute? I mean, I'm actually dying here. I'm kind of getting desperate."
He looked ahead, out the window. "There..." he sighed. “There is one way. But no, I should not have said that. Those powers should never be used."
"I'm dying . What's it going to do, kill me?"
He looked at me with an expression somewhere between anger and regret. "No. But it could do worse. Nick, those forces are anathema to magic and anathema to life. It would be very painful, and it may not even work. Alexander's spell is imperfect. Many are dying as the magic enhances illness or deformity that was already present. They say close to fifteen million are believed dead. We have to find another way."
"I... ok, what about my friends. Can we do anything to help them?" Don't get me wrong, I was furious that he wouldn't help me. Fifteen million out of the billions affected was pretty good odds. A lot better than the odds I was facing right now. But I didn't want to lose the help he could provide.
"Yes. Tell me what has happened to you and your friends." I explained what had happened to each of us, or, in my case, what hadn't happened. He nodded and didn't ask any questions.
"So?" I said when I finished. "What can you do?"
"My boy," Manuel started,
"No, don't 'my boy' me," I said. "You know more about magic than anyone else except Alexander. Why aren't you helping us?"
Manuel frowned. "Many decades ago, when I was a young boy supporting Castro and Guevara, the Order fought a group of scholars who had stumbled across an ancient scroll detailing a complex and dangerous spell. In the attempt for immortality, the spell explained how to place your soul into another's body. They tried to stop them and warn them of the dangers, but in the end, the Order had to kill them to stop their efforts. What the Order knew, and the scholars refused to heed, was that the body can only support one soul. You cannot have more than one, not for long. The mind would burn itself out, and so, in defense, it will cast off one or the other before that happens.
"You see, Nick, there are things that magic is incapable of. Perhaps there exists magic sufficient to heal you. Perhaps there is magic powerful enough to undo what has been done to our world, but I do not know of a way to do so. If I tried to force my knowledge into a solution, there is no knowing the consequences it could have."
"So you're telling me..." I couldn't finish the sentence and had to start over. "Out of everything you've told me tonight, you're saying that you can't help us?"
"I truly wish I could, Nick. Maybe Alexander would have answers, but he has shown himself unwilling to help. You would think that, with his centuries of experience and knowledge, he would help the world, but it seems he wishes to toy with it instead."
I saw we were getting back to the center. "Just let me out," I said. "I'll find help wherever it has to come from."
Manuel's eyes pierced me, but I didn't flinch. "You would sell your soul to save your life?"
"Not mine. I've been dying for a few months now, and I've already accepted that there might not be anything that we can do about that. But I'll do anything to save Erin." The car stopped. I stepped out and went right for the convention center. Manuel called out to me.
"Nick, please, we can make other arrangements. We can help your passing be painless and-"
I didn't care what else he had to say.
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Even from outside the building, I could hear the angry shouts and someone leading the crowd with a passionate speech. The room was standing room only when I arrived. The main room was packed, and there was something wrong with it. I couldn’t figure out what. Up at the front, I saw a tall, clean-cut man in a suit addressing the crowd. To either side stood these metal giants. They were at least eight feet high and covered in glowing purple lines and symbols. They didn't look like robots - there were no hard lines or bolts anywhere on them. Everything looked very organic, just made of metal. They had no faces, only two blazing purple eyes set vertically.
Well, he had my attention.
The man up front was in the middle of his speech. He had a hard face, and even his words felt violent. "And what did they give you? Lots of empty words and politician's promises? It's almost surprising to see Manuel stoop this low. I mean, look at yourselves! Alexander's changed, what, 90% of the world by now? The rest of us that are still human don't have much longer either. We'll be changed within a few days!"
I looked around the room again and finally realized what had been bugging me. Except for the speaker and me, there wasn’t another human anywhere in the room. A few griffons, sure, and the odd minotaur in a corner. But everyone else was a pony. I suddenly felt extremely conspicuous.
"But what's the Order offered you? Have they healed anyone yet? No? How about given you reasons as to why Alexander's not dead yet? Are they moving after him? Does anyone even know?
"The Order of Saint Augustine was set up three hundred years ago, promising to protect people against magic and save the world from it. But all they've done in that time is take out a few minor spellcasters, while practically paving the way for megalomaniacs and monsters. I'll tell you why they're so vague about Alexander, and I'll tell you why they're not doing anything to fight that monster. That monster is their founder ."
I heard murmurs and even a few shouts from the crowd. My jaw actually dropped.
"Yes, you heard me!" he said. "The Order has all these rules about what kinds of magic are ok and what aren't, all put there by Alexander. And even when he revealed his true colors, look how many kept following him! That idiot Manuel is so stuck with tradition he can't even see that his idol's a liar.
"I'll tell you the truth about magic. Magic is ineptly forcing your will on the universe, and when you push, it pushes back. That's why we need to stop them. Now, I can't tell you that I can make you human again. I can't even keep myself human for too much longer. I can't fix your bodies or this screwed up mess Alexander's put you in. But I can point you to the monsters who did this to you! And I can give you the tools you need to make them pay! Show those cowards what happens when they try to step all over you! Take back your world! Take back your lives!"
The roar was deafening. I turned around and moved as quickly as I dared. There was no way I was getting help from that guy or his crowd. I had no idea he was starting a freaking revolution. My mind was spinning as I walked. Why the heck hadn't I been honest with Erin from the beginning? I'd be home right now instead of next to a whole lot of angry ponies.
I reached the door and left the building. No sooner had I left the building than an honest-to-God snake girl stopped me. She was a green snake from the waist down, had four arms, fangs, and slitted pupils. Oh, and a gun. I should probably mention the gun.
"Hold on, Nick," she said. "Maaaaaaaaaster wants to talk to you."
Crap. I didn't know what to do, so I just stood there. She wasn't pointing the gun at me, but her eyes never left me. Could I overpower her? Knock the gun out of her hands before she could fire? I looked down her body. Heck, how long was that tail? Fifteen, twenty feet? She caught me staring and smiled. Suddenly, she reared up and quickly moved her powerful coils around my legs and arms. I instinctively tried to push against them as they wrapped around me, but they might as well have been made of iron.
The snake girl slowly lowered herself until her face was in front of me and smiled, showing her fangs.
"Ok," I squeaked. "I'll wait."
"Oh, you're no fun!" she said, and flicked out her forked tongue. "At least tryyyyyyyyyyy to put up a fight. I like it when my prey wrigg-"
"Risa!" someone yelled from behind. It sounded like the guy who'd been speaking. "Don't eat the poor kid, let him breathe."
She immediately let me go. I mean, it was so fast I nearly fell over.
"Sorry about that, Risa gets playful when she's hungry. Name's Derek Vicars, Mr. Espinoza, but I'll call you Nick."
It took me a moment to register the hand he'd stretched out towards me. I shook it, looking him in the eye, noticing his two golem bodyguards standing a few feet behind.
"So, you're the golden boy," he said. "Actually, that's Alexander, isn't it?" he chuckled.
I was still far too stunned to reply.
"Ah, that'll make more sense if you meet him. So. You were talking to the big boss. Señor Garcia himself. Sure is a friendly politician, isn't he? Says a lot of pretty words, doesn't do anything. I'll bet you wanted to know why you're so important and why the heck you've still got your fingers."
"Can you help my friends?" I asked. "Can you help me?"
"Can I help you? Nick, Nick, Nick, were you even listening? Of course I can help you. You see, Alexander's got all kinds of secrets locked up in that tower of his. Have you seen the tower? Gaudy place. Can't believe the news isn't all over it, but I guess Alex isn't very press-friendly. Anyway, last time I got to talk to Al, I picked up a few secrets from this old book he had just lying around. He wouldn't even miss it, but that book, Nick, got me these guys," he said, pointing behind him. "I've got lot of workers, Nick, and they're not exactly from around here. That little book taught me how to borrow them and put them to work.
"Now you're thinking, 'what's this devilishly handsome bastard talking about? What's it got to do with me?' And I'll tell you, Nicky boy! Alexander's lived for a few hundred years. Never been specific as to when he was born, but I can guarantee you it’s been a few centuries. You can't live that long without some serious healing. I guarantee you, Nick, that if you and I bust in there, we'll find the keys to life itself. Imagine that! Fixing yourself up before you kick the bucket, magicking your friends into being people again, it'd be wonderful!
"Now, no, it's not going to be easy. Alexander is opening a portal to a completely different world. This isn't like what I do, pulling across a few things to work for me - this is both ways, and there will be no way to control access. Guy's an idiot to think-"
I held up a hand. "Stop. I get why you're doing this whole routine with me. But do you really think I'll be able to get healed with what Alexander has?"
He narrowed his eyes at me. "All I'm saying, Nick, is that you'd be stupid to not work with us." Risa started to slither past us, planting a lingering kiss on Derek's cheek, and winking at me. "There are a lot of advantages."
"What happened to 'we need to destroy all magic?'" I asked.
Derek threw his arms in the air. "Kid, I'd kiss the pope's ring and then stab him if it'd get me far enough ahead. These people are pissed right the heck off. All I did was tell them what they wanted to hear. The question you need to be asking isn't 'What does Derek want,' it should be 'What can I get out of working with him?' And I've already shown you a little of what we've got."
I did not trust him in the slightest. I think he could tell, since he sighed and pulled out a piece of paper. He drew a few lines on it and showed it to me. The symbol was a straight, vertical line, with two shorter lines to either side of it. The lines on the side angled inward about halfway down, going straight into the center. It was a little like a pitchfork.
"Look. Let me give you a gift. Call it a show of good faith. This little thing is something Alexander banned from the very beginning. Now this isn't the actual symbol - when you draw this for real, cut off the side lines before they touch the middle one. If someone's using magic on you, draw this on them and it'll short out their magic." He put the paper away. "Apparently people used this to take down wizards in the old days, and I mean the really old days. The way they used it, it'd take away the magic from whole groups of wizards at a time. And it was permanent."
He shrugged. "Truth is, you don't have the strength they did, so it won't be a big area, and it won't be permanent. If you have to use it, get out of there as soon as you've cast it."
The doors slammed open behind him and people started to pour out, angry and shouting. Derek smiled at me.
"My people await! You might want to go home now. And if you live anywhere close... maybe go to a hotel."
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Arriving back home wasn’t complicated. It was stressful, though. I had to be checking in every direction constantly to keep sure that no one was following me. I didn't trust Derek. The radio reported that a riot was brewing near the center. Sounded like I got out just in time. Crap.
I parked outside my house. The lights were on. Alan would be home. Of course he'd be home - where the heck else would he be? So... did I tell him what Manuel had told me?
You know what? No. Absolutely not, and here's why. Manuel hadn't been truthful with us from the start. He used to work for Alexander. Why should I expect he'd been telling the truth about them? No, both he and Derek were trying to manipulate me. Both of them had told me not to trust the other. So for right now, I wouldn't trust either of them. Of course, Derek seemed like a much scarier guy than Manuel did, so Manuel's advice about him was probably a good thing to follow.
Alan was just inside, holding a beer can with magic. He looked up when I came in.
“Sup?” she asked.
"Uh... honestly?"
He nodded.
I told her most of what had happened, glossing over Manuel's lengthy story.
"Wow," he said. "So... that's screwed up. He's kind of got a point, though. The Order isn't doing anything."
"Maybe," I said, "but he's not exactly a good alternative."
"Yeah," Alan said. "Maybe we just kind of need to stay out of it." He took another sip of the beer.
“Hey, sit down,” she said. I sat on the couch. She stretched, leaving her hind hooves touching my leg. Oooo…kay. Probably an accident. I noticed that his hooves were painted green.
“Umm…” I said, and she pulled her hooves back. “Why are they green?”
She (dang it, he!) took a sip of beer. “Because the girl pony in my head wanted to try painting her hooves.”
“What?” I asked.
"Oh, wait, have you not met Paper Back?" Alan explained that he had an actual Equestrian mare in his head. Apparently she'd been pulled across when Alexander was doing his spell. She also slept a lot.
“So,” she said, “beer tastes really different.”
“Like, different good?” I asked.
She (dang it, he) tilted his head to one side. “Nah, just different different. It’s like… a lot more complex. Part of it tastes really… it’s not sweet, but it tastes dang good. There’s a lot of weird crap in it too." He took another sip. “Are you… ok?”
I actually smiled at that. “You’re a girl and a pony, and you’re asking if I’m ok?”
“Well, yeah,” he said. “I mean, you and Erin are taking this pretty bad. I mean, yeah, this kind of sucks, but it’s not the end of the world for me. Plus, I don’t know, you're actually dying.”
"Yeah, it's... I'm sorry I hadn't told you."
"Dude, I get it. It must have been really tough. I probably wouldn't have wanted to face it either."
I know he probably didn't mean it like that, but that hurt, especially because he was right.
"How is she?"
"Erin? She hasn't come out much today. Mostly just stayed in her room. She ate earlier, but I haven't seen her in hours. She's really broken up about you, man. The whole time she just kept wishing that she could talk to you and apologize. We kept saying we were going to call you, but she kept saying no, she wanted to talk to you in person."
"Ok. I'll... I'll talk to her."
"And... well... she's a pony now. Like, all the way. She's a pegasus."
"Oh," I said. "That's... pretty cool."
"Yeah." He took a drink. "So... you're dying."
"That's what the doctors say."
Alan looked at his front hooves for a few seconds, glanced up at me, and then back at the ground. Then she stood up.
"You know it’s still me, right?” She asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “Where is this going?”
“Just don't make this weird, dude.” He leaned over, glanced up at me, and then gently pushed on my neck with his magic.
"Get down here."
I raised an eyebrow, but then he put his front legs around my neck and hugged me. I hugged him back. After a few seconds, I pulled back, and saw him wipe his eyes with his... wrist? Whatever that joint is.
"Hey, there's... there might be a way we can fix this," I said. "Apparently whatever's keeping me from changing is just my own magic. And Manuel thinks that there might be a way-"
"Yeah, you said that, but then you said he used to work for Alexander! I mean, seriously, man, he can probably do whatever he wants, but why would he?"
"I don't know, but Manuel seemed pretty sure there'd be a way."
"Yeah, but... I'm just... we don't know if we can even trust the guy!"
“Pretty much,” I agreed. “I just don’t know what else to do. What about you? You going to make it?”
Alan sat there for a long time before responding. “You ever have something happen to you so freaking bad that you thought you’d die? And then, when you didn’t die, you were like “screw it, I’m going to make it?”
"Well, the last few days, and the whole death sentence of a diagnosis..."
"Yeah, yeah, ok, you have. When you do turn into something, it… it’s not the end of the world, but it sure as heck feels like it. But, if you’ve got dang good friends, it’s not that bad.” He took another sip of the beer. I looked down at his legs, then back at my own arms.
“How does it feel?” I asked.
Alan was quiet for another long time. “I don’t really feel like I got smaller. Everything feels bigger. You look like you’re freaking ten feet high or something. Having a tail is freaking weird – you just keep noticing it all of a sudden and it’s like you can’t stop thinking about it. Hooves are freaking weird too,” he said, getting up on his haunches and holding out a leg. “You watching this crap?” he asked, before putting his weight on the leg. I looked but wasn’t sure what I was supposed to see. “These things spread out when you walk on them. And they’re not just like hard all the way through. It's really just this hard nail thing around the frog."
"The... frog?"
"Crappy name, but I didn't pick it. It's the squishy part in the middle. Most of it’s sensitive, so I can feel the ground everywhere I walk.”
He stood up. “And it’s like, my mouth is longer, and everything smells totally different. Even smelling’s not the same. There’s just so much more of everything.”
“Everything’s pretty different,” I said. He nodded.
“Oh yeah. I mean, being a girl is weird too, but being a pony is just a whole different level of weird.” After a second, he kept talking. “It’s… not all bad, though. You get used to it. Plus, the magic part's pretty cool.” He held out his right front leg, which was right next to me. “It’s… freaking weird, but it’s… ok. Plus, having Paper Back in my head is actually turning out to be kind of cool."
He looked at his leg, turning it around. His muscles rippled under his skin. He had legs that reminded me of gymnasts. They weren’t bulging or veiny, but they were definitely strong. I held my arm up next to her leg, closing my fist. I tried to think of what it’d be like to look at my arm and see a leg like that instead.
“Seeing what it’d be like?” Alan asked.
“Yeah,” I answered, my voice a bit distant.
“What do you think you’re going to be? You know,” he added, "when we fix whatever's keeping you from changing. Didn't you say that'd be the best way to fix you?"
"The only way, yeah," The question wasn’t really unexpected – I’d wondered the same thing. “I don’t know,” I said. “It’d be pretty cool to get wings. Then I could go flying with Erin. Heck, I’d love to be turned into a pony, so I wouldn’t feel so dang weird around her. Still, magic would be pretty awesome too.”
“Oh yeah,” Alan said. “Unicorns are the best. We can freaking write and use tools and crap.”
“Got it,” I said. “If I have to change, I want to be an alicorn.”
Alan scrunched her nose. She probably didn't realize it, but it looked adorable. “The heck is-”
“It’s like a unicorn with wings,” I said. “They’re super powerful, get magic, can fly.”
“Crap, man, I want to be an alicorn. Think I’ll grow wings?” He looked at his back.
“Nah,” I said. “There’s only like four of them, and they’re all princesses anyway.”
Alan raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. One ear flopped down when he did that, and dang it if it wasn’t cute.
“You want to be a princess?”
“No!” I protested.
“You want to be a girl!” Alan said, and started laughing. “Crap, I didn’t see that happening.”
“No, I don’t want to be a girl,” I said. “Just… dang it, Alan!” He had actually fallen over onto his back, legs crossed in front of him.
“You’d have like a stupid crown and tea parties… I didn’t know you were a freaking four year old girl.” I glowered at him, shaking my head. “Hey, that might happen!” he said, smiling at the thought. “You could turn into a girl too!”
That made me pause. I looked ahead for a bit, shaking my head at that. “Nah, I can’t…” The problem was, I obviously could. Alan had, after all. He stopped laughing, and I felt his hoof on my arm again.
“You ok?” he asked, and I turned to look at him again. He’d stopped smiling, and looked concerned now. “Because it’s not the worst thing ever, and trust me, getting a freaking muzzle is a way bigger deal than getting girl parts.”
“Yeah, I’m good,” I said. “I just hadn’t really thought of it. This whole thing’s just messed up.” Alan tilted his head again, and that one ear flopped down.
“Ok,” I said, “this is going to be really weird…”
"Dude, what did I tell you about not making it weird?"
“I know! It's just... can I touch your ears?” I finished.
“Oh, yeah, just don’t be rough or anything. They’re freaking sensitive.”
“Oh,” I said, withdrawing my hand. “Then I won’t,”
“No, it’s ok!” he said, stepping next to me and turning to face the same direction as I did. “It feels good when people touch them, just don’t grab them or some crap.” I gently brushed the back of my fingers down one ear. He took a deep breath in when I did so, letting it out and leaning more against me. I kept rubbing the back of his ears.
“Wow,” I said, “you really like that.”
“Shut up,” he muttered, “when you’re a pony we’ll see what you do.”
“I just still can’t believe that a talking pony is sitting next to me and having a beer with me. It’s too weird.”
“You think it’s weird for you?” he said. “I’m the one who’s got a nose two freaking inches away from her face.”
“Yeah, that has to be… what did you say?”
He looked at me and put a hoof on his muzzle. “My nose is-”
“No, you called yourself a ‘her.’ You said ‘who’s got a nose two inches away from her face.’”
Alan looked at me for several seconds before looking back at the ground.
“I don’t know how to feel about that,” he said.
“Well,” I said, “do you still feel like a guy?”
“I just don’t feel like I changed, really.” He said. “I mean, yeah, fur, hooves, tail, whatever, but like me, as a person, I haven’t changed.”
I nodded and kept rubbing.
“This’d be so gay if I wasn’t a girl.” He said.
“I thought you said you didn’t think you had changed,” I replied, pulling my hand back. He stood upright again, looking at me, eyebrows narrowed again.
“Well, crap, man, am I gay?”
“I mean… you’ve been acting a little weird and have been touching me. Do you like girls?” I asked. There was a long pause before Alan replied, and then in barely a whisper.
“I don’t know. Brittney was playing with my hair earlier, and I didn’t feel anything then, and then when you touched my ears, it was really relaxing. I just felt really happy and… oh crap, I am gay!”
“Dude, maybe you’re just confused. You still mostly act like you, and you sure as heck talk like you. I mean, your body’s a girl, and Paper Back's definitely a girl, so maybe that’s why you feel like this.” He still looked down when he answered.
“This is freaking messed up. Dude, I’m sorry. It’s got to be because I’ve got Paper Back in my head.”
“Yeah,” I said. “That makes sense.”
“This was so awkward and…”
“It’s ok,” I said. After a moment, Alan spoke again.
“I just… can we talk about this another time?”
“Mm-hmm,” I replied, nodding. “No one can blame you for needing time to figure this crap out.”
I felt something warm and firm press itself against my arm. When I looked over, Alan had put his head there. After a few seconds like that, he poked me with his hoof.
“Do you still want me to rub your ears?” I asked.
He nodded.
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Chapter Seventeen
It was only a few minutes of stalling like that before I forced myself to head upstairs. I didn't want to have to face her. I hadn't wanted to face the reality of my illness this whole time, but I didn't think I had a choice anymore. Besides, we saw how well that worked out.
I knocked on the door. No one answered, but I heard soft crying from inside. I opened the door. There was a small pegasus sitting on the ground, pink fur, blue mane and tail. She was wearing four purple socks. I bent down.
"Hey," I said.
"Nick!" she said, and turned around. I gasped.
She was gorgeous. Her blue mane tumbled down around her face, framing it perfectly. Her eyes were enormous and were a dark blue, like the deep ocean. Her muzzle was petite and her face had elegant curves. Even her legs and hooves seemed elegant and gentle.
She looked down. “This is me now,” she said.
“You’re beautiful,” I murmured. She snorted. “Oh, now?” She stepped closer and started nuzzling me. She felt for my arms with her hooves, and started rubbing my hands.
"So you're wearing socks?" I asked, a little smile in my voice.
"My hooves got cold," she said. She sat back, looking vaguely in my direction. Her eyes looked normal, but they definitely weren't looking at me.
"What's it called?" she asked in a tiny voice. "What ah… are you dying from?" She was very careful when she pronounced her “Rs.”
"It... doesn't have a name," I said. "Not yet. They said they might name it after me, but the doctor will probably just name it after himself." I tried to smile.
"Nick, I can't laugh right now," she said. "I feel so bad I can barely breathe."
"Sorry," I said. "They say that it's similar to a tumor, but it's different. It hasn’t responded to treatment. They said that they could come up with more treatment ideas, but they're not hopeful that it would extend my life by more than a few months, and they'd be painful the entire time, so... I didn't want to suffer the whole time if it wasn't even going to work, so... Good news is, until like a few weeks before the end, I won't have a lot of symptoms. It doesn't even hurt right now."
Tears were pouring down her face. She was hugging herself with her front legs and wings, and her mouth was open in a silent scream.
"Erin, please, talk to me," I said, putting my hands on her shoulders. "Say something. Say everything! I'm so sorry I didn't trust you with this, and I deserve whatev-"
"Don't leave me!" she burst. After that, it all came out in a flood. "I'm so sorry about what I said, and I know I was so mad that you didn't trust me, and I'm still mad about that, but I don't want to lose you and we have to figure this out,"
"I know," I said softly.
"I love you so much, and I know this pony thing is hard for us, but I'm the pony and it's really hard for me too and I want to help you out and be there for you but we've got to support each other during this-"
"Erin," I said.
"Because we are going to fix this. You're not going to die and I am getting my eyes back. But for right now I'm a pony and I'm sorry but it's easier for me to deal with my new body if you're comfortable with me and so-"
I kissed her. It was weird. It was fuzzy. But it was her. She immediately stopped, and after a moment of surprise, melted into my arms. It was several seconds later that we broke off and she started crying again.
"Hey, it's going to be ok," I said, wiping the tears from her face.
"I don't wanna lose you," she said.
"You won't. I love you no matter what you look like. And besides, you're still really pretty."
"Thanks... but I meant you dying too," she said miserably.
I sighed. "We'll figure it out. There's a... kind of scary idea I have. Manuel said that Alexander was the only one who would have the magic to fix me. So, if we can't come up with anything else... maybe I can find out what he wants and work out a deal."
She was quiet for a long time, just leaning against me. I don't know if it was comfortable for her, but my leg was starting to fall asleep. It was a weird position.
"But you're not going to talk to him yourself, are you?" she asked.
"I don't know yet. It's really just a last resort thing."
She leaned in and hugged me again.
"It's dangerous," I said, "but it's the only chance I've got."
"We'll do it together," she said.
"Um, sorry to spoil the moment, but you're making my leg fall asleep, can we-'
"Oh thank goodness, it's not just me. My hips were really starting to hurt. Should I put my-"
"No, here, put your legs... um..."
“Can I do this?”
“No, now your wings are in my face.”
I hadn't expected cuddling to be so complicated, but I ended up lying down with her on top of me. That really shouldn’t have taken us so long to figure out. She rested her head against my chest, one ear listening to my heart. I carefully rubbed the other.
"Can I touch your wings?" I asked.
"Please, yes," she said. "They're itchy and I can't get at them with these dang hooves!" I ran my fingers though her wings and a few loose feathers came out. She sighed softly and grinned.
"Is this called preening?" I asked.
"I don't know, I've never had wings before. I really need to figure out how to take care of these things. I tried asking Paper Back but she doesn’t really know how to care of wings. Hey, what’s my tramp stamp look like?”
“Your what?” I said, starting to laugh.
“My tramp stamp. The tattoo ponies get on their legs.”
“Cutie marks?” I checked her leg. “You don’t have one.”
“Oh,” she said, disappointed. “Do I get that later?”
“I don’t know,” I said, “both Alan and Brittney had one right away. Though… now that I think about it… I can’t think of any other cutie marks I’ve seen. On anyone. That’s… weird.”
Her stomach grumbled loudly.
"Are you hungry?" I asked.
"Yeah," she said. "I didn't eat lunch or dinner since I was... you know, turning into a pony."
"Let's get you some food."
I prepared some oats. She didn't want to eat out of the bowl, "I may be a pony but a girl still has standards!" so I ended up feeding her. It was either that or watch her try to use a spoon, blind, with hooves. We'd have to figure out something for her to use utensils and such, but not at the moment.
Alan walked in. "Hey, Nick? Paper Back wanted to talk to you." His eyes, which had been pointed in different directions, zeroed on to me. She walked close and held out a hoof.
"Hi! I'm Paper Back." she said. Acting on impulse, I bumped her hoof with my fist.
"Close enough?" I asked.
"Yeah," she said with a smile. "So Alan said you've got something really wrong with you, right?"
"Yeah," I said.
"And you said Derek told you that Alexander's opening a portal?"
"Right."
"Well, it has to be to Equestria, right? So I need to go through to go home, and we have to get Alan into his own body anyway! You should come along so that we can get you healed! The Princesses have to know some kind of magic that can help you."
This was definitely possible, but it brought up another, scarier point.
"So if Alexander's opening a portal... what's he going to do with it?"
Paper Back shrugged. "As soon as he gets through, the Princesses will take him out. They defeated Discord, Nightmare Moon, and Tirek. Alexander can't be worse than them."
That was an encouraging thought. Maybe we could just let Alexander open the portal. The Mane 6 would use the Elements of Harmony to defeat him, rainbow magic fixes everyone.
On the other hand, that didn't seem like a good plan. Maybe as a last resort. I had no idea how powerful Alexander was in comparison to the things they'd fought in the show, and there was every possibility that we'd be fine. But there was every possibility that he'd be an enormous threat.
"Uh, can't he?" Alan asked. "Brittney didn't say that anyone changed the world except Discord."
"So Discord will take care of him!"
"Right, and he didn't join up with Tirek?" Alan rebutted.
"Well... the episodes we watched showed that the villains always lost. And I know you're going to say it's just a show, but everything I recognized looked like it definitely came from the real Equestria."
"Yeah," Alan said, "fine. But even if they never changed the show to be a better story, which they sure as heck could have, this is Earth. Here, the bad guy can win. Heck, they usually do."
"Either way," I said, "just waiting isn't a valid plan. I like the idea of finding a portal to Equestria. Can we look into that in the morning?"
Morning came far too quickly. I still felt exhausted when I woke up. It took me a moment to remember why a pony was sleeping next to me, but then I recognized Erin's round eyes. She stirred and blinked awake, then smiled.
"Hi," she said. "Did I scare you?"
I smiled and ran my hand along her cool hoof and leg. "No, beautiful, just made me think I was in heaven."
"Oh, wow, that was cheesy," she said, giggling. She put a hoof in front of her muzzle. "Do I have horse breath?"
"No worse than usual," I said, smiling. She swatted me with her hoof.
“Ladies first,” she said, hopping off the bed and heading for the shower.
A few minutes later, the water stopped.
“Nick?” Erin called.
“Yeah?” I said.
“Can you come in, please?”
I opened the door. Erin was standing in the tub.
“I’m having trouble washing my wings,” she said. “Can you help?”
“Yeah,” I said. I grabbed a bath brush or whatever it was called (it was Erin’s) and scrubbed her back and wings. She lifted her wings.
“Can you get under them?” she asked.
“Yeah,” I said, reaching around her to scrub under her far wing.
Suddenly, icy water blasted me from the side and I fell on my butt.
“What the… Erin!”
Erin was giggling. She had a hoof on the water lever.
“Oh, you’re paying for that, I said, tickling her neck, then trying her back and wings.
“I’m not ticklish there,” she said, turning around and whacking me with her wings, getting me even wetter. I started tickling her ears.
“No, Nick!” she squealed, her legs buckling and her wings jumping around. “Ah! That’s not fair!” I kept it up for a few seconds and she sat down, pouting dramatically.
I kissed the top of her head. “Now we’re even.”
After we'd all showered and eaten, we sat together in the living room.
"All right," I said. "So what's the plan?"
Brittney raised a front hoof and started to bounce up and down.
"You can just talk," I said, and she lowered her hoof.
"Can't we just find the Equestria Girls portal?" she asked.
"Weren't those movies non-canon?" I asked.
"Uh-uh," she said, shaking her head. "On twitter they said that it was canon."
"Oh wow," Alan said, holding his head in her hooves. "We're talking about kids’ movies and whether or not they're real."
"Um, since I got a tail, I'm kinda more open to Brittney's suggestions," Erin said.
"I don't think we're going to be able to use that, even if it is real," Paper Back said. "Derek said that Alexander's trying to open a portal. Do you think he got his hooves on the statue and Celestia or Twilight tried to block him? Maybe that's what's going on! He's got this tower somewhere-"
"It's by Hanstadt," Brittney said. When we started at her, she said, "What? It's like ten hours west of here by train."
"But how did you know that?" I asked.
"I looked it up on my phone."
"With your hooves?" Erin asked.
"Nope! I used my tongue!" Brittney said. She stuck out her tongue and wiggled it around.
"Ok," I said. "So Alexander's probably got his hands on the statue and is forcing open the portal. Maybe that's why everyone's changing! The spell is breaking out of the statue and affecting everyone."
"That doesn't explain why I got brought here," Paper Back said, "and we can't get to it if Alexander has it. I still think we need to find the ponies who made the TV show. I mean, maybe they got here through the portal and told stories about what happened, but maybe there's something else going on and they have a way to talk to Equestria!"
"That's not a bad idea," I said. "Well, Britt, you know the most about the show. Who do we talk to?"
"Um... there are a lot of ponies who work on the show, and there are even ponies who started with the show and left later. So there are lots of ponies we could talk to!”
“But there are writers and animators and editors, and there's no way they could all get everything right all the time,” Erin said.
“Yeah, I said. “Even if you had someone come to Earth to make the show. Plus, Lauren hasn't been involved since season two.”
"She still laid out the stories and characters," Brittney said. "That's more information than she should have."
"Ok, but she said that the stories were just stories she made up as a little girl when she was playing with her dolls." I added.
Alan snorted. "Yeah, that's what she wants you to think. Besides, how do you know that?"
“I… might follow her on twitter. It’s not important!”
“I still think it’s a good idea,” Brittney said.
I thought about it. “Well, like Erin said, three of you used to be human and you've turned into ponies. I'm not going to find it too hard to believe that someone was using magic to make the show accurate. So can we find Lauren Faust?"
"We looked into it," Alan said, "but we didn't look really, really hard. It was just kind of a casual thing before. If we get working together, we can pull this off. I've got some people I could ask from my podcast."
"So you think we can find her?" I asked.
Alan shrugged and started heading upstairs. "Dude, we have to get Paper Back back home and help you. We have to find a way. We can totally freaking do this." He magicked open the door, turned on his computer, did some stuff with the sound equipment I didn't understand, and sat down in front of the microphone.
"Ok, everyone out," he said. "I've got a special episode to make. Not even going to edit this, so I have to get it right the first time."
We shut the door.
"Ok," I said. "We can try checking her Wikipedia page. If we can find out what city she lives in, maybe we can check the phonebook and see if she's in it."
"Usually those numbers are unlisted, but it's worth a shot," Erin said."
"I'll go on the pony forums and see if anyone knows where they might be!" Brittney said. "Some of the fans can be a little scary."
"Ok, let's go," I said. Through the door, I could hear Alan starting his recording.
"Hello, Spookbusters. You are not going to believe what happened to me..."
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Alan
This shouldn't have been an impossible thing to do. Sure, celebs and other famous people tried to keep stuff like their addresses and phone numbers private, but you could find it out. There were always people who got the information and shared it, or you could find the aliases they used. No one famous was good enough to hide everything.
Except, apparently, the freaking geniuses who hid Lauren Faust. They erased freaking everything. Wikipedia page? Gone. Backups of the page? Gone. Caches? History? Gone. And they were that thorough everywhere . The only thing was the talk page arguing about who did it and why they couldn't restore it. Brittney tried some of the sketchier forums where they'd posted her information before, but it'd been wiped. Even the... less legal sites had been hit. I mean, seriously, cool your jets, guy.
Then the spookbusters came through. Crap, they came through a little too much. I got page after page after page of information. I guess that the idea was that any specific list of info just related to Faust would have been erased, but these big data dumps might have the information in there somewhere.
Everyone was helping. Paper Back and I went through the pages, double checking each other. Nick had a stack he was going through, and so did Brittney. Erin couldn't really help, naturally, so she mostly just hung out by Nick and rubbed his back.
My eyes kept flicking over to Nick. He really was fit and strong for his weight. He smelled nice, too.
Dang it, Paper Back, this was awkward enough last time.
I wasn’t awake last time… she said. She had a sing-song voice, like she was happy about something.
Seriously, we need to focus.
So… focus!
Kind of hard, I said. My ears keep moving and I can’t stop thinking about Nick.
And you keep playing with my mane. Did you not notice? She said.
Plus I’ve got this weird fluttery feeling and… woooow. You’re into Nick.
Alan…
Come on, he has a girlfriend!
I don’t like Nick that way. Humans are weird! You’ve got wiggly fingers and flat faces. You don’t even have fur!
I got up and walked into the bathroom. I was starting to feel a pit in my stomach.
Ok, are you screwing with me?
No. Are you ok?
Dang it, Paper Back, please tell me you’re screwing with me. I won’t even be mad!
I’m not. Alan…
My eyes got hot and started to get wet.
You’re crying.
No I’m not!
Alan…
Crap. It wasn’t Paper Back. It was just me. Gosh dang freaking girl body screwing with my freaking mind. My nose started running.
Alan, talk to me.
It’s so screwed up! Now I’m attracted to my best friend and he’s got a girlfriend so he’ll never like me like that and I don’t even want to like him. We’re both guys!
It’s going to be ok.
No it’s not! Now he’s not even going to want to be friends with me.
“Alan, yes he will.” Paper Back said. She wiped our nose. Hearing her voice kind of brought me back. “It’s ok,” she whispered. “These feelings are normal. This is just kind of how you feel when you like a colt.”
It still freaking sucks.
“Yeah,” she said. “It kind of does. Are you ok to go back?”
I sniffed. Yeah.
The sun went down and we were still going through freaking dozens of pages of information. We took a break for dinner and went right at it again, because I didn't have any other ideas.
It was getting hard to focus when I decided, freak it, we're just going to look at the intros for the next group.
hey i got all the information you need just gotta pay me-
My frends at the Nigerian Embasy can get the information from you, but we require-
You'll find her in Toronto. She's under the protection of the Canadian government, and her phone number is 647
Dude whyt are you even looking for wthi s crap is not like
"Hey, wait," Paper Back said. "Go back one."
"Oh... yeah, hey guys, I think we got something." Everyone got around me and I read the letter. Basically, the guy said he had connections in the Canadian government and he knows where they're hiding her. But get this - he gave us the phone number they're using for her safe house. He said she set up the voicemail, but it's not under her own name.
"Hey, Britt, could you recognize her voice?"
"Probably," she said.
"Ok. Let's call it."
Nick dialed the phone and held it up to Britt's ear. I could still hear the message, thanks to pony ears.
"Hi, this is Tara Oliver! Leave a message."
Nick hung up and Brittney squeaked. "That's her! And she mixed two of the actress' names for hers! It's Lauren Faust!"
"Ok, freaking finally, some progress," I said. "Let's look over the rest of the stuff he sent." The data had an address, what the house looked like, and even suggested a good time to visit. The last part kind of worried me.
Hurry, and be careful. You're not the only one looking for her.
"Ok, we need to do this quickly!" Paper Back said. I could tell she was excited about this. She might even be able to find a way ho-
The room turned gold as this freaking light wave shot through us. It didn't hit us, but everyone freaking passed out except for Nick and me. The second it hit us, Paper Back's voice cut off.
Crap! Crap! Paper Back! Paper Back, come on, don't be dead! Wake up!
She wasn't talking. I took a few deep breaths and really freaking concentrated. I could feel that she was still there. Thank goodness. What the heck just happened, though?
I noticed my face was pressed against the floor and stood back up. Brittney and Erin were both lying on the ground, and Nick was over Erin, trying to wake her up. She kind of woozily came awake.
"Hey," she said slowly. "Hi Nick."
"Oh, wow, Erin," he said, hugging her. "I thought I'd lost you."
"Why?" she asked, her voice still slow and weirdly calm. There was something very wrong here. What had the wave done? We were done changing, and it didn't feel like one of the earlier ones.
"Because you passed out," Nick said, sounding confused. "I... Alexander cast some kind of spell and I..."
"But he wouldn't hurt us," she said, her voice still weirdly calm and flat. There was like, no tone to her voice at all. "Alexander's a good man. He should be in charge of all of us, don't you think?"
"Erin? What... what are you saying?" Nick said, his eyebrows pressed together.
"Well, it's just, you know, he's just trying to help everyone. That's why he turned us into ponies."
"That MONSTER!" Paper Back yelled.
Glad to see you're ok, I said.
"That freaking monster! Oh, Celestia send him straight to Tartarus!" she yelled again. "Nick, it's a mind control spell!"
And he just cast that on the whole world... I realized. All my fur stood on end.
“What do we do?” Nick asked. He held Erin in his arms, but her face was still blank.
“Just, I don’t know. We have to cancel the spell somehow. Let me get over.”
Paper Back moved us over, put our horn on Erin’s head, and ran a spell through it. Erin started blinking rapidly and looked around.
“What… what just happened to me?”
“It’s a mind control spell,” Paper Back said. “Alexander’s trying to make us think that he’d be a good leader. I can’t believe he’d do that! I knew he was evil, but this is… this is disgusting! He’s actually trying to take over the world!”
“Nick?” Erin asked.
“I’m here,” he said, and pulled her into a hug. “I’m so glad you’re ok.”
“How did you know how to do that?” I asked.
“I had to learn it for a graduation exam,” she said. “We need to check on-”
“Brittney!” Erin yelled. She jumped right out of Nick’s arms and over to her sister. Brittney was breathing, but unconscious.
Nick shook Brittney awake.
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Alan
Later, Paper Back and I were looking out over the city. It was pretty, all right, but she didn’t really feel the same way I did. This was kind of a big deal for her, I guess.
“It’s… a lot to take in,” she said.
“Hmm?” Erin asked.
“Oh, I was just talking to Alan,” she said. “I was just saying this place is a lot to take in. I mean, we flew here in a giant machine and now we’re in the biggest city I’ve ever seen!”
“Oh, you think that’s cool,” I said. I pulled out my phone from the luggage. “Let me show you some pictures of the planet from space!”
“Space?” she asked.
“Yeah, you know, like… when you look at the sky. Like the black stuff between stars.”
“You… have things up there… that take pictures?”
“Yeah, it’s…” I realized that she might not actually be so psyched. Mostly how our tail was suddenly between our legs and our ears were drooping. The pictures I was looking for had just loaded. There was North and South America, Europe, and Africa. Except instead of her being impressed she… well, she kind of retreated inside herself.
Well… I screwed up.
I felt a hoof on my leg. Erin was standing next to us.
“Are you ok?” she asked.
“No!” Paper Back said and hugged Erin.
Crap. I’m sorry, I… thought it might be cool.
“This place is so big and weird and you have machines that fly and think and can… reach out and see us and make shows and toys out of us! And… what if Alexander opens the portal and you decide you want to go in and take Equestria?”
“Paper Back,” Erin said. “Do you think I’d do that?”
“No… none of you would,” she said, “I know, I mean… Alan’s got all these ideas about how evil your leaders are… what am I supposed to think?”
Erin glared at me. “Alan!”
“I’m… I’m sorry!” I said. “I… dang, Paper Back, I’m sorry. Yeah, we have some real jerks on Earth, but most people are pretty cool. It’s going to be ok.”
“I know,” she said. “That’s not really it. Your ideas are pretty silly anyway.”
Harsh.
“I just really want to go home,” she said. She sniffed loudly. Erin held us and rubbed our back.
“Dad would love to be here,” Paper Back said suddenly. “He’s so interested in history and he’d be asking so many questions.” She smiled.
“What’s his name?” Erin asked.
“Dusty Codex. Hey, did we… oh dang.”
We brought it, I said.
“What?” Erin asked.
“Alan’s friend drew me a picture of my family, and I was going to show… you…” she said.
“Oh, can you tell me what they look like?” Erin said.
“Mm hmm.” She pulled it out and looked at it. I could feel how bad she wanted to be with them.
“My dad’s a historian. He’s dark grey and a pegasus. My mom’s Paper Mache – she’s not from Manehatten, she comes from… well, it’s a long ways away from Equestria. She’s a unicorn like me. Actually, everyone in my family is except my dad. When we were little, he took me and my brother on a hot air balloon ride and kept flying around us and telling us that the clouds were so soft… so we’d throw water at him with magic!”
“Aww,” Erin said.
“My brother is Sharp Cut. He’s a doctor. And then there’s my little sister, Livrette. She’s only five. She was just learning to do magic when I saw her last! I’ve been so busy with my martial arts class that I haven’t seen her a lot.” She sniffed deeply.
“Sounds like you really love them,” Erin said.
“Yeah,” Paper Back said. She sat back and took a huge breath before letting it out.
“Whew, ok. I… I think I’m better,” she said. “Thank you. What about your family?”
“My family?” Erin asked, putting a hoof on her chest. “No, you don’t really want to know about my family.”
“Sure I do! Brittney’s pretty cool.”
“Yeah, she’s… the only one.”
“Oh no,” Paper Back said.
“I haven’t talked to any of them in… wow, a few years. They’re all crazy religious nuts, like, worse than ‘normal’ religious people. They think the world’s going to hell and it’s everyone’s fault but their own. Everything’s evil except them. Do you wanna know how I found out my mom died? A lawyer showed up a few months later and told me that my older sister was contesting the will, and I could get involved. I broke down right in front of him.”
We hugged Erin. Both of us felt horrible.
“Oh Celestia, Erin, I’m so sorry,” Paper Back said. “That’s so unfair!”
“Yeah, I’m glad I’m done with them,” she said. “They tried to call me when this whole Alexander thing started, but I ignored them. Brittney said they were just talking about how this was God’s will or some crap. But it’s ok. I have Nick and Brittney for my family. And I have you two as friends.”
Paper Back sat back, sniffing.
“Are you going to be ok?” Erin asked. “Sorry I kind of took over the conversation there…”
“It’s ok. I’ll be fine, I just… need some time to think.”
“Ok,” she said. We walked back over to the window. I fished around in my bag and pulled out my headphones. I knew I’d need these. They went over the ear, so I thought we’d still be able to use them.
“What are those?” Paper Back asked.
“Headphones,” I said. “They make music.” I plugged them in, moved the headphones so one of them was over our right ear, and started playing some of my favorites. Paper Back put a hoof on the headphones, holding them to our head.
What kind of music is this?
It’s EDM, I said. Electronic music.
She was quiet and I felt our breathing slow. I like it, she said.
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Chapter One
Rain started to fall over the field, sparkling in the bright spotlights. People hit each other and everyone fell. The referee blew his whistle and I skidded to a stop. Foul. Fantastic. My other teammates started shouting at the referee. It was a stupid call. Yeah it was a foul, but the other guy deserved it. I didn't have the energy to argue and play the game, though. I bent completely over and coughed into the grass.
Ross, our coach, ran over to me.
"You ok, Nick?"
"Yeah, fine," I lied. It was easy to lie about my health. I'd had plenty of practice the last few months, after all.
Ross frowned. I knew he didn't believe me, but I hadn't told anyone about my diagnosis. I just didn't see why they'd have to shoulder the load too.
"Ok, I'm switching you with Chad. Chad! Get in!" he yelled. I jogged over to the bench. I'd have argued with Ross, but I was out of breath. It was always like this. I was mostly fine - my particular angel of death didn't leave many symptoms until the last few weeks, and I had a while left. I couldn't decide if that made it more sadistic or less.
The only symptom right now was that I didn't have as much endurance. Sure, the coach noticed, and a few teammates knew something was wrong, but it wasn't anything I couldn't chalk up to a minor issue. I'd been working longer hours, after all.
Two girls came over to greet me at the bench. Erin, my beautiful black girlfriend, and Brittney, her sister. Brittney was on crutches and struggled a bit in the mud, but kept a warm smile on her face. She brushed her tangled hair out of her face. Erin was biting her lip and hugging herself.
"Are you ok?" Erin asked, handing me a gatorade.
"Yeah," I said, sitting down. "Just a bit winded. I'll be back up in a minute." I took a drink and sat down on the bench. I felt Erin's cool hands on my arm. I looked up at her. Her eyes were round and sparkling. I could just about see myself in them - a Hispanic guy with short cropped hair and a slim figure.
“Do you need me to get you a tampon?” she asked. I pushed her and she started giggling.
"How late did you work last night?" she asked.
"Two in the morning." I said.
"And you were back at work at six?" she said, her voice rising.
"Yeah," I said. "It was stupid but they needed help. We're kind of short-staffed right now."
"I know, but it's not fair that they're working you this hard, especially when you're sick," she said. She hugged me.
"Please be ok," she whispered when we got close. She had a warm voice, but it was shaking.
"I'll be fine," I said. "I'm... I'll be fine. Really."
"Ok," she said. "I trust you."
My chest felt like stone - heavy and cold. I really had to tell her. It wasn't fair to keep her in the dark. Heck, I'd tried to tell her before. I just didn't know how and never managed to lead the conversation the right way. Besides, she’d… she’d been through a lot lately.
I saw gold light play off of Erin's hair. Wait - where was that coming from? I heard people start screaming and stood up.
Storm clouds were racing across the sky. They were moving way, way too fast. Clouds just don't move that quickly. They were lit from within by lightning (normal,) and gold light (not normal.)
"What the heck?" Erin asked as she turned around. I looked at the ground underneath the clouds and saw a wall of dust heading our way.
I twisted to put my back to the oncoming dust and put myself between her and the storm. The first wave of dust hit like a thousand needles, and I gritted my teeth at the pain. It didn't last long. Only the leading edge was bad, but we kept getting buffeted by winds from every direction. It wasn't consistent - it'd leave us alone for a while, but then surge for a few seconds.
"Are you ok?" I yelled over the wind.
"Yeah" Erin yelled.
"Help!" Brittney yelled. She'd lost hold of her crutches and was clutching desperately onto Erin. I put her arm over my shoulders.
"We've got to get to the car!" I yelled. Gold flashes lit the ground around us. I dimly realized that the lights had gone out over the field. Thunder blasted into us, and I could feel it like a cannon shot. That meant it was close. We had to go.
"Let me help!" Erin said, trying to get under her sister.
"I've got her," I said, "just grab her crutches and get to the car!" I'm an EMT, so she listened and took off towards the car. I didn't have time for dignity or image, so I threw Brittney over my shoulder and started running.
My body started to tingle. It became painful as all the hair on my body stood up, even in the wind and rain. I looked behind me and saw Brittney's hair puffing up all around her head. Then someone poured light on us. The ground was shaking and I was shaking and everything was fire and blinding light and noise.
Next thing I was aware of was me lying on the ground and rain pouring over me. I was completely soaked. Erin suddenly appeared at my side and shook me.
"Nick!" she screamed. I sat up, unsteady, and looked at Brittney. She was just lying next to me.
Triage mode happened. Everything else got pushed out of my head. There was someone in danger and I had to help. Training cooled my nerves and helped me focus. Lightning strike. Victim is unconscious. I put one hand on her wrist and another on her neck. No pulse. No breathing. Begin CPR and get aid.
I started chest compressions. "Erin!" I yelled. "Call 911!"
"Brittney!" she yelled, looking at her unconscious sister.
"Call 911!" I repeated. I bent down to see if Brittney had started breathing again and checked for a pulse.
"Nick," Erin said, “there’s too much static! Oh no oh no Brittney!”
Light burst up from around Brittney. I jumped up and shielded my eyes reflexively with a forearm, trying to see past the light. Brittney was glowing. I heard Erin vomit behind me, but I was too focused on what was happening to her little sister.
Brittney’s skin was turning red. She was shaking and parts of her twisted around as they started to change. The light got brighter until it was too intense to look at, and I had to turn away.
I don’t know how long I stood there, thunder cracking the air around me, as my girlfriend’s sister changed behind me. It was long enough to think “holy crap” and not much else.
Wind hit me and I stumbled forward, falling to my knees in front of Erin. She was shaking and holding her head, mumbling “ow, ow, ow.” I steadied myself with a deep breath, then turned around to face whatever had happened to Brittney.
And I sure as heck did not expect that. This is the part that gets a bit hard to explain, but she was… a horse. Except not a horse. Too small and colorful. Her muzzle was tiny, and her eyes were huge. If I hadn’t known better, I’d have said… but no, that was impossible, right? I looked at her side and swore.
A cutie mark. An actual cutie mark. Gold lightning, freak storms, and my girlfriend’s sister was a freaking cartoon pony. She had red fur, black hair that sparkled in the rain, and a cutie mark. It was shaped like Celestia’s, but with a black circle in the middle.
I had nothing. Not one bit of my training ever covered something like this. Fortunately, what I did know how to do was check for injury, so I bent down automatically to check.
It was hard to tell, given that I really didn’t know what she was supposed to look like, but it didn’t seem like she had any fractures. She was breathing again. I heard Erin get to her feet behind me, but I was a bit distracted.
“Oh ow… Nick, she… Brittney! Is that her?!”
Ok, ok, come on Nick. Restrain the panic. Think. Logically. Brittney is now a pony. Assuming it’s still Brittney in there. Let's go with "it's still her." She’s unconscious, soaked, we’re all soaked, and the wind is picking up. It’s getting colder, and fast. She has to get inside, way the heck away from other people or cameras or anything like that. She has to get warm and dry.
“Erin, we have to get her inside!” I said, bending down. I wasn’t sure where to grab.
I turned to face her. “Erin, she’s-”
Once again, I was left speechless. My girlfriend had turned pink. I don’t mean flesh-tone either. I mean Pinkie Pie pink. I tried to say “Ok, let’s go,” but I guess my speech centers hadn’t quite caught up to the rest of me yet.
“Azum… bada zwa?” I said.
“What?” Erin asked.
I shook my head. “Ok, ok. Alan’s not home for a few days, so the house is empty. Let’s go. We have to get her safe so we can figure out what the heck just happened.” I decided to put my arms along Brittney’s belly, with her legs hanging to either side, and lifted. It mostly worked. Hey, I’d never practiced this. We got to the parking lot, Erin limping forward, wincing as she leaned forward and opened the door. She was still muttering, but it had gone from “ow” to spicier terms. I’d have joined in, but I was running on pure training. Someone was in danger and needed help. Beyond that, I had zero plans.
It wasn’t until we started driving away with the heaters on full that I started to think about this situation. First off – what the heck had just happened to us? Erin was pink, Brittney was a pony, there was a freaking magic storm, and did I mention that Brittney had just turned into a “my little” pony? Was it still her? Maybe she was just a horse now. No, bad idea, toss that aside. She had to be her. Ok, so magic. Magic was definitely a real thing that really existed. Ok. That’s a new one. Does this mean that Equestria is real? I mean, Celestia, Discord, Rainbow Dash, everything? That seemed a bit much, but the cartoon pony in the back seat was also just a little bit much because I mean HOLY CRAP
I took a deep breath in through my mouth and let it out through my nose. Concentrate, Nick, you’re not home yet. You have to stay focused. Get them to safety. What would happen to Brittney when she woke up? We’d have to be ready for that. What if she’s just an animal, and she wakes up alone and in a strange place? Heck, what if she’s still her, and she wakes up alone, in a strange place, with hooves ? Better to have her wake up with Erin.
I glanced over at my girlfriend. She reached over and touched one of Brittney’s legs, which was hanging over the edge of the seat.
“Oh Britt…” she whispered. Tears were pouring down her face. She was changing too. Or, at least, she was pink now. Well, pink with her old features. She still looked like her – round eyes, full lips, everything. Just pink. Wait, what if Erin was turning into a pony?
Nope, not thinking about that one. Lock that down now.
Ok, back to Brittney then. She still might be her, so we need to take care of her until she’s stable. Then we need to figure out what the heck is going on.
I shook my head, trying to make sense of this whole mess. This was turning out to be one heck of a night.
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Chapter Eight
Nick
Erin had gone downstairs with Brittney after we'd taken care of Alan. They hadn't always gotten along well, so I understood that. It gave me a moment to think.
Well. My girlfriend's turning into a pony, my best friend's a mare now, and I'm no closer to figuring out what's going on. I know it's not funny - and it's not - but Alan? Of all people, he's the one who gets turned into a pony? And a girl no less. I mean, yeah, this was hard on him and he'd need a lot of help. But I couldn't help but find it a little bit funny. Mostly, though, I was worried about him. Alan never had the greatest track record when it came to girls. This'd be tough.
I went downstairs and saw Brittney and Erin on the couch. Seeing Alan only reinforced how much I needed to figure out what was going on. I had to save her. The weird thing for me was how I felt about Erin changing. I didn't care. I mean, sure, that sounds like I'm patting myself on the back and saying "oh, I'm the perfect boyfriend," but I really was ok with it. Seeing her with a tail was weird, yeah, but it didn't make me like her less. Crap, did that mean I was attracted to ponies?
But wasn't I supposed to feel this way about Erin? I'd made promises to her and I really wanted to fulfill those promises. I wanted to be with her forever. I mean, what if she'd been in a car accident? What if she'd gotten burned? Wouldn't she still be the same girl I loved? How was this any different? No, I loved her and that was more important than anything else. No matter what she looked like.
Besides, I would save her. We'd get her fixed. Alan, too. Brittney... seemed ok with this. Which seemed weird. I still wasn't sure if she was actually ok with this or just riding a high that was going to come down hard. Either way, she was managing for now. When we got this fixed, she'd want to be human again. No one really wanted to be a pony forever. Probably.
I wondered when I was going to change. Sure, it didn't affect everyone right away; there were a lot of us at the hospital that hadn't changed at all. We'd get there, probably. Unless this only affected a few people. Yeah, that could be it. I could be part of the group that doesn't change right away. Because I wasn't going to change, I didn't want to change, and it wasn't going to happen. I had nothing to worry about.
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
I suppose the one good thing that might come out of changing would be that being attracted to pony Erin wouldn't be weird anymore. Assuming I didn't turn into a girl.
What the heck had happened to my life?
My phone buzzed. I didn't have to glance at it to know it was a reminder about the meeting with the Order. I said goodbye to Erin and Brittney and headed out.
The Langan center was across town. It wasn't nearly as full as I expected. I guess people didn’t trust Manuel as much as I thought. The main room of the building was a huge lecture hall, and only about two hundred people were there. I slipped in the back and took a seat. There were cameras getting set up and a few reporters starting to do their introductions. Everyone else was whispering among themselves or staring at their phone. More than a few people hadn't taken their jackets off and kept their heads hooded. I tried not to stare, but I couldn’t help looking for anything that suggested that they weren't human.
The noise quieted down as Manuel walked into the room and up to the podium. He started speaking into the microphone.
"Thank you for being here today. We do not have much time, so let's get down to business. I am Manuel Garcia, leader of the Order of Saint Augustine. We were founded to defend against superstition and magic, but we are not a part of the Catholic Church. We do use magic, but only to defeat those who use it for their own gain."
He took a drink from a nearby bottle of water. "Those seem to be the questions everyone asks first." He smiled, but no one in the crowd responded. "Good. There is a man named Alexander. He is a rather powerful person who possesses great knowledge of magic. We believe he cast the spell which manifested as a storm last night. I know-"
"Excuse me!" one of the reporters yelled. "Mark Hansen, Channel 7 News. Where's the proof of anything you've said? Do you have any proof, or are you just here to recruit us into your order?"
Manuel looked uncomfortable, and glanced at the crowd. "There are many who have been affected, but it is not my wish to put them in the spotlight."
"So you don't actually have answers for us?" someone in the crowd yelled.
"What is this bullcrap?" someone nearer me yelled.
"I... we have proof," Manuel said, "and it is my wish to give you answers, but I must be careful how quickly I inform you,"
"There you have it," Mark said to his camera, much louder than was necessary. "A crackpot cult leader taking advantage of a natural disaster for-"
Whispers suddenly blossomed in the center of the room as a man stood up.
"I've got your proof!" he yelled. He took off his jacket and, with a quick motion, pulled a scarf off his face. He had feathers and a sizable beak. "Can you even help us?"
"Yes!" Manuel yelled, but it was too late. People had started to shout and stand up as soon as they saw the bird-headed guy. I heard chairs move and even punches being thrown as the crowd got more violent. Time for my exit.
I got outside the building and was walking toward my car when I heard a rumbling voice behind me.
"Hold on, please. I am most interested in speaking with you."
I turned. It was Manuel, along with two bodyguard-looking men who were looking over the area.
"I will not hold you here," he said, "but I can see strong magic in you. I can answer your questions. That's all I wanted to do tonight, but the people felt differently."
I looked at my car, then back at him. The bodyguards were making no threatening moves.
"I've got a few minutes," I said.
People weren't rioting, but the area was more dangerous than he was comfortable with. We ended up going to a park near to the complex and sitting on some benches.
"What is your name?"
"Nick," I said.
"Nick, then. My boy, magic is real," Manuel said, "and proof is-"
"I know," I said. "My - I know a girl who's turning into something."
Manuel nodded. "A small horse with large eyes." It wasn't a question, and he kept going. "Magic is... strange. At its core, it is simply wanting, with power behind it. I do not understand the motivations of Alexander, but he is the only one alive who has the power to do this."
“How can this be real?” I asked. “It’s from a TV show.”
Manuel shrugged and made expansive gestures with his hands. “Perhaps Alexander is mimicking the show. Perhaps our worlds are connected in deep, unfathomable ways. Perhaps, in their world, they tell tales of the humans and our strange machines.”
"Ok, that's great," I said, "but what's the plan? Can you fix what's going on?"
His eyes pierced me, and he said "That is not the question you really meant to ask."
Come on, man, cut me some slack. Here he is being all mystic and vague when there are real problems and people really suffering. I think he could see me getting frustrated.
"Oh, no, please don't misunderstand. I have certain abilities, and I can see that you are dying."
I felt cold in my stomach and a slight glimmer of hope.
"Can you... do anything about that?"
"My boy, I am sorry, but healing of that sort is beyond any member of the Order. We have the power to enhance your body's healing processes, but in this case that would only hurt you more."
My shoulders felt heavier than they had in weeks.
"Fine. Is there anything you can do for the people who are changing?"
"This is complicated. We are still trying to understand Alexander and why he is doing this. Many of the Order are affected by the spell he has created, and even those of us with strong defenses do not anticipate that we can hold him off forever."
"All right, fine. I have to get going."
"Nick, please, let me explain these things in detail. You have power within yourself. Not like our symbols and circles, which draw power from elsewhere, but true power from your core. This is something we have not ever seen in our time watching over the world. It is beyond significant-"
I was already walking towards the car. The moment he wanted to give me straight answers and actually help us out, I'd listen. But I didn't have time for this vague crap.
Dang it. This night couldn't have gone a lot worse.
When I got home, Erin was sleeping on the couch with the light on. Had she been waiting up for me? I brushed hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. The couch wasn’t really comfortable enough to sleep on. I’d passed out on it the first ill-advised night I’d tried tequila. Turns out I liked it. A lot. I’d woken up at noon the next day with my back almost as sore as my head.
Erin stirred, and her eyes fluttered open for a second.
“Hey, let me take you to bed,” I said. I picked her up and carried her upstairs. I immediately realized I was faced with a decision. My bed, or Britt’s? Brittney was doing fine, now. Heck, she was doing the best out of all of us. Now that might just be because she’s crazy. But anyway, there wasn’t any worry about her waking up and being freaked out. No, if anyone, that’d be Erin, especially if she changed during the night. I wanted to be there for her if it happened.
I laid her down in our bed, changed clothes, and joined her.
Erin shook me awake. I was bleary eyed and confused. Then I remembered, and her words took hold.
"Nick, it's storming again!"
"Cool," I muttered, and rolled over. It was too early, and I didn't want to face the world again.
"Nick, did you hear me? It's storming !"
Oh. Wait. That was a bad thing. A really bad thing. I tried to roll out of bed and got tangled up in the sheets. I hit my head against the floor.
"Ow!"
"Oh, Nick..." Erin said as she started to untangle me. "You're such a dork."
I stood up, face red, and looked her over. She shook her head.
"Nothing's happened yet, but the lightning's gold..."
"Ok, ok, let's get to the car. It's metal. Maybe the lightning will go around it?"
"Yeah, let's do that," she said. We went downstairs. We made it to the bottom of the stairs. Brittney was down there. She had her front hooves on the windowsill and was staring out at the storm, tail twitching back and forth.
The light outside flared brightly, and Brittney fell over backwards.
"Ow!" she said.
“Oh no… Nick, is… NICK!” Erin said. Her voice got louder and higher as we felt the ground start to shake. The light outside the window started to get closer and closer to gold. I grabbed on to Erin just a wave of light passed through the house. Brittney sneezed and shook her head.
“That was weird,” she said, looking over her legs and tail.
“Erin,” I said, looking at her. “Are you ok?”
“I… ow! Ow ow ow!” She curled up into a ball. I saw her fingers start to bend and melt with a very disconcerting hissing noise. They were actually melting together. Her petite fingers gave way to a clumsy, hard nail and a fleshy underside. Erin fell forward, and I saw her wrist moving up her arm as pink fur grew across it, moving in a way that looked so wrong it made me sick to my stomach. It only took a few seconds, but my girlfriend now had pony legs instead of arms.
She gasped in pain.
“Nick… please help… ah! That… ah… hurts…”
I picked her up and lay her down on the couch. She felt feverishly hot. I grabbed a cold pack out of the freezer, wrapped it in a towel, and came back to put it on her head. Blood dripped out of her nose, which I caught with a tissue. It took her a few minutes to come back. Her eyes drifted open. She lifted a hoof in front of her face. She had to squint to see it, and she brought her hoof closer before she focused on it. I saw her face contort like she was crying, but no tears came out, just soft dry sobs. She sat up and hugged me.
“Help me stand up,” she said. I looked down at her legs. Her knees were so high up that they almost reached her waist. There was a new joint a bit below it that bent backwards. I think that used to be her ankle. Then the rest of her leg sloped down to her hoof. I stood up and she leaned on me, her new legs shaking badly. Still squinting hard, she reached for the couch and, holding on to the wall, made her way to the stairs.
“I need to do this on my own,” she said when she saw me coming to help. “Just let me figure this out. Dang, everything’s blurry.” I stood back and let her. I watched her legs move as she went up the stairs. It was a weird feeling, seeing those joints work. I wondered if mine would work like that when I changed.
No, let’s make that “if” I changed. This was storm number two and nothing had happened. I had really expected to start changing and it was almost… I don’t know, aggravating that it hadn’t. I was in a mental brace position waiting for a crash that just wasn’t coming. Did she not want me to be with her? Did I really want to be with her?
Yes. Yes I did. That part wasn’t up for debate. I loved her as a human and I'd love her as a pony.
Oh crap… “as a pony.” This was really going to happen. What the heck? I wanted to help her. I wish I could have helped her more. I didn’t know how long I could keep helping her as long as I didn’t change.
And what did this mean for Erin? She was turning into a pony, and it was ripping her up inside. No. That couldn’t be allowed to happen. I had to find a way to stop that somehow.
So I thought about Alan instead. Where was he? Erin had tried to wake him up. This seemed like the kind of thing he’d be interested in. Maybe he was mad at us for what happened to him.
Brittney passed me on her way up the stairs. “Sis?” she called. I let out a deep breath, headed up, and knocked on Alan’s door.
Fall of the Rightful King-Clean
Nick
Brittney turned out to be ok. She wasn’t even affected by the mind control, but it had knocked her over. While they were recovering, I found Paper Back and hugged her.
“Thank you,” I said, trying to say more, but my throat locked up. “She means so much to me. Thank you for saving her.”
She hugged me back. “We have to stick together if we’re going to fix any of this. You have to get your bodies back, we need to heal you, and I need to get home.”
“Right,” I said. I looked over and saw that Brittney had stood up. She seemed to be doing ok now.
“So,” I said. “Battle plan. Obviously we’re in a bigger hurry than we thought.”
Paper Back/Alan kept fidgeting. Finally she opened her mouth.
“Just tell them!” Alan said. “You can trust these guys.”
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“The spell… it didn’t mind control us but…” she looked up and blinked tears out of her eyes. “It felt like it was killing me.”
Decision time, Nick. Do you withhold the info from them like you did with Erin?
“I actually need to talk to you about that,” I said. “Manuel said that he thought two people can’t be in the same body. I didn’t tell you because one, I don’t really trust him, and two, I thought we’d be able to get you back to Equestria and split up before it was a problem.”
Paper Back nodded. Her voiced sounded a little choked, but she kept control of it. “I think the spell is making it harder for me to… to stay in my body. I don’t know if I can take another wave like that.”
“Then we have to move,” I said. “Our best plan is still to try and find Lauren Faust. She either has connections to Equestria or knows someone who does. Maybe it’s even a way back, but even if it isn’t, it has to be a way to talk to someone close to the Princesses, or Twilight. If we can talk to them, they’ll have to have a way to help us.”
“I was thinking,” Erin said, “and what if she just found a book that connected to Equestria? Or what if she just dreamed about the place?”
“Plus,” Alan said, “it’s going to be freaking difficult trying to get to her with the Canadian government protecting her.”
“Probably not impossible with what your guy told you,” I said. “Plus, Erin, whatever connection she has, it’s worth a shot, and I think it’s a little more interactive than that. It has to be, with everything she learned.”
She nodded. “Yeah, hopefully.”
“Besides,” I said. “We’re running out of time and don’t have a lot of options. Are we willing to go for this?”
“Oh yeah,” Alan said.
“Of course,” Paper Back said.
“Mmhmm!” Brittney said.
Erin held on to my arm. “It’s our best hope.”
“All right, then. Let’s-” I said.
Brittney was holding out her front hoof.
“Come on,” she said. “Everypony put their hooves in and we’ll go one-two-three-break! Guys? Come on!” she pouted as we laughed.
Getting to Toronto was remarkably easy. I drew attention, being human, but not so much that we had problems. The hardest part, honestly, was getting Paper Back on board.
“It’s crazy!” she said at the airport. “That machine thing is supposed to fly?”
“Yep,” I said.
“But it’s so big! And it’s made of metal!”
“Paper Back, I have a small plastic box in my pocket that lets me access any information the human ra-”
She waved a hoof in front of her face. “I know, I know, that’s kind of scary too. I just… we’ll be so high up! What if we fall?”
“We’re gonna miss our flight!” Brittney said, looking at the clock.
“Dude, I can’t move my legs,” Alan said. “She’s freaking scared.”
“Paper Back, you’ll be fine. Crashes almost never happen,” Erin said. “It’s way safer than driving.”
“Ok, ok,” she said, taking deep breaths. “How… how high up will we be?”
“Like six or seven miles?” Brittney said, before I could stop her.
Paper Back whimpered.
She made it through the flight, although she couldn’t look out the window at all. She’d ended up with a window seat, so we had her switch with Brittney, who was more than happy to stare at the clouds.
“This is so cool!” Brittney said. “I wish I could fly.”
“I don’t…” Paper Back said. She’d actually curled up in her seat. Erin was gently running her hoof across Paper Back’s ears.
She scampered off the plane as soon as we’d landed. Her legs were still shaking as we walked out.
“I can’t believe we made it!” she said, grinning. “I’ve fought a minotaur before but that wasn’t as scary as this!” After a few seconds, her face fell.
“You ok?” I asked.
“I’m acting like a little filly, aren’t I?” she said.
“No, it’s ok,” I said. “Lots of people hate flying.”
“Yeah,” Erin said. “First time I went flying I had to take pills to make me sleep the whole time.”
“Oh,” Paper Back said, smiling slightly.
I stepped closer to Erin as we left the airport.
“That was nice of you,” I said.
Erin looked in my direction. “I wasn’t lying. Remember that time we went to California and I said I was exhausted?”
“That was your first time? And you were on drugs?”
A griffon walking by us looked over in shock and walked into a handicapped parking sign.
We got a rental car (the salespony was almost ecstatic to have someone come in) and started driving off to our hotel. Brittney and Paper Back were talking about different parts of Equestria. Erin reached out and touched my leg with her hoof.
“Thanks for letting me come along. I know I’m really not helpful and a liability right now.”
I held her hoof in my right hand. “First of all, don’t talk like that. You’re still super helpful. And besides, I want you here. I’m not leaving you behind. I mean, what if what Lauren has is a way to actually get to Equestria? We’d have to be able to go right then. You’re not coming with us to check out the place at first, since that could be dangerous, but we’re not leaving you behind.”
We settled into the hotel. The sun was setting. I went out to get food, and was on my way back when I spotted a familiar car outside the hotel.
“No…” I said, a pit forming in my stomach. “He can’t be here.”
I got inside the hotel and inside the room without seeing anyone else.
“Have you seen anyone else?” I asked the group. They shook their heads.
“Ok, good. Listen, we might have to get out of here. I think that we were followed.”
There was a hard rap on the door.
I opened the door and Manuel stood just outside, glowering at me.
“Can I come in?” he rumbled at me.
“I don’t know, can you?” I said. My heart was speeding up. There was no one else with him, but he probably was a lot more dangerous than he looked. There was a grey blur next to me, a rush of wind, and suddenly Manuel was on the ground with Paper Back standing over him.
“What are you doing here? How’d you find us?” she asked. Manuel tried to glower at us, but that was less than intimidating from his angle.
“Please, as much as you distrust me, I am on your side. Please let me in.”
Between Paper Back and me, we could probably take him down. In a pinch, I could use that symbol Derek taught me. Let's try this.
As soon as we closed the door behind us, Manuel turned and drew lines on the door. He just moved his finger and a blue-grey line appeared glowing on the door. It looked like two angular letters, but I didn't recognize them. The door started to glow a faint blue.
"We are safe now," Manuel said, and turned around. "Now, Nick, why in heaven's name are you here?"
"We're trying to find someone," I said.
"Lauren Faust," he interrupted. "I know. But why?"
"Well, two of us are dying, so we have to do something."
"Yes, I understand this, but Nick, you don't understand. How did you even find where Faust was? The Order, with all our resources, only found out a day ago. No, it doesn't matter," he added before I could say anything. "What matters is that you need to leave."
"No way!" Paper Back yelled.
"Oh, absolutely not," I said. "We're trying to save our-"
"Derek is here," Manuel enunciated slowly. "Do you understand what that means? He is far more dangerous than a simple leader. The kinds of magic he uses - Nick, you cannot expose yourself and your friends to him. Death is not the worst thing he can do to you."
"Ok, it's risky," I said, "but let me remind you. Paper Back," I said, pointing at her, "isn't even from Earth. She's from Equestria and we need to get her home before she dies, like you told me she would. Plus, I'm dying, and my only hope is someone with healing magic, so that's either Equestria or Alexander."
"It is far too dangerous. You do not understand how valuable you are! Nick, you possess magic within yourself. No other living human has this! By being here you are exposing yourself to Derek. Do you have any idea how dangerous this is? What he could do with you?"
"No! You haven't explained anything. And am I really so much more in danger here than I would be at home? You're telling me that Derek wouldn't be able to find me at home?"
"Nick, you have also kept your friends with you and put them in danger. They would be safe if they were not with you."
"I don't care!" Erin said. She came up beside me. "I'm not leaving him alone."
Manuel took a huge breath. "I admire your perseverance and loyalty, I do. But you are in extreme danger."
"And aren't you the best person to protect us from Derek? Who'd be better?" I asked. "Look, you're trying to go after Lauren. Let's go together. My friends can stay here, safe, and we can go figure out how the heck she knows about Equestria."
Manuel sighed. "Are you prepared to fight for your life?"
"Hey, I'm going too!" Paper Back said. "I'm a martial artist."
"She's basically a freaking black belt," Alan said.
"Are you prepared to kill to protect yourselves?"
"I, yeah. Whatever it takes," I said. Paper Back didn't answer.
"Fine. We have little time. We shall go at six tomorrow. Are either of you two capable of fighting?" He asked, looking at Brittney and Erin.
"Uh... not really," Brittney said.
I looked up and saw Manuel undoing whatever he did to the door. He left in a huff.
“Well,” I said, “I got food!”
