Jeff in Equestria

Jeff followed Twilight to the library to retrieve his knives. The six were by his side and were receiving stares from the locals.

Fluttershy looked at him, "please don't mind the locals Jeff it's just that they haven't seen something like you before."

"Trust me the feeling is mutual. I've never seen a town this cheerful. It's almost a little creepy."

"Of all the things you are Jeff, a too nice town is what gets you?" Rarity asked.

"I watched a lot of television when I was growing up. Too nice means there is something wrong with a person, or in your case pony."

"What's a television?" Dash asked.

"Do you guys have movies?" Jeff asked.

"Yeah there was this one movie where I was like HAAAUGH. It means I gasped but it turned out to be very cool movie-" Pinkie was cut off by Applejack's hoof.

"Yes we do sometimes occupy our time by going to the film but what's that got to do with anything?"

Jeff stopped the group. "Okay, imagine a box. Got it?" They nodded all with their eyes closed. "Now, imagine that the box has a piece of glass in front that fits inside a hole in the front. Following me?" Another nod from the group. "Now imagine that the piece of glass can have images without a projector."

The group looked up. "Woowie, Zoowie that could be much cheeper than going to the movies." Pinkie said.

Jeff and the girls continued. "Well that depends on how much money and if the building has electricity." Jeff said.

"Why would the building need electricity?" Twilight pondered.

"The television I was talking about has a cord to plug it up so it can have power." Jeff explained.

"Oh ok now I get it, like some of my microscopes that need a lightbulb underneath them."

"Yeah, something like that. There's like a projector inside the box and it shows it on the screen. If I had a sketch pad I'd draw you a diagram."

"You like to draw things?" Rarity asked, as a fashionista she loved to sketch for dresses.

"There is a difference, in the way that you draw. You make it the way you need it to be. I just doodle, and I'm not really good at that either." Jeff said. The group continued to the library. Spike was playing with Jeff's knives.

"I'm Sir Spike the ruthless, hear me roar."

"SPIKE!!!" Twilight shouted which caused him to fall.

Jeff saw what happened. "TWILIGHT! Be careful my knives are very sharp, you could have made him hurt himself."

"Why are you scorning me?" Twilight asked. "He was messing with your knives."

"Yes, but from what I can tell by his technique he is very well skilled with cutlery. More so than you, you watch who you shout at especially at him. He did nothing wrong."

"Okay I'm confused am I in trouble or not?" Spike asked.

"Hi, you must be Spike." Jeff reached his hand out to Spike's claws, Spike shook it wearily. "I'm Jeff."

"You aren't scared that I'm a dragon?"

Jeff observed him. "From what I can tell you must be at least 17 or 18 in human years, but from your kind's age I'd put you at about a toddler."

Twilight's jaw was unhinged, blinking at what Jeff just said. "How could you possibly know that much by looking at him?"

Jeff straightened out his posture. "Believe it or not, I have great observational skills. Not only does it help with what I do, it also passes the time when you don't have eyelids."

"Wow that's incredible." Twilight commented. "Do you mind if I ask you some more questions?"

"But you just did." Jeff smirked.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean Jeff, don't be a smart ass."

Twilight covered her mouth at what she just said. She never swore in her entire life, why did she say that? Spike face had completely blanked out on what Twilight just said. Meanwhile, Jeff was laughing his ass off, tears were rolling down his cheeks.

"A-are you telling me that THE Twilight Aurora Sparkle, faithful student of THE Princess Celestia just said ass? This is comedy fucking GOLD."

Wait a minute. Where did that come from Twilight never told Jeff her middle name or the fact that she was the student of the Princess. Jeff and Twilight were on the same page for once, absolutely fucking confused.

"Where did that come from?" Twilight and Jeff said in unison.

"How do you know all that information about me?" Twilight questioned.

Jeff looked at her with the same look on her face. "I honestly haven't got a clue. Some information must have spilled over from my other half."

"Other half?" Twilight questioned.

"Can we continue the questions in the kitchen I haven't gotten anything to eat. No flowers either I can't eat flowers."

"Okay, is Peanut Butter and Jelly alright?"

"Just fine."

Spike had started on the sandwiches, while Twilight had gotten a notebook out. She looked at Jeff, "Do you mind if I write down your answers?"

Jeff thought about it for a second. "Okay you can on one condition." Her ears perked up and Jeff continued. "If I think the questions are too invasive then you can ask me them but not write them down. Deal?"

Jeff held out his hand and Twilight placed her hoof in his hand. Oh his hands are soft. "Okay Jeff I agree to your conditions." Twilight said.

"First question. Your real name?"

"Jeffery Woods. My alias is Jeff the Killer."

"Okay, height, weight, and age."

"I'm 6 foot 1 inch, I weigh around 200 pounds, I forgot my age after 14."

Twilight scribbled down then stopped. "What do you mean forgot your age?"

"What I was doing was really fun I got lost in the moment so much that I forgot to keep track of my age. If I had to guess I'd say I'm around 21 or so."

"I don't think I truly understand what you just said, but it is believable Celestia knows how much time I lose track of when I'm studying or reading so I can relate."

"Cool."

"Do you have any place of residence?"

"Does Fluttershy's food storage shed count?"

"No."

"Then I don't, and before you ask I don't have any assets to really help in the 'modern-day working force'. If that's what you wanted to hear."

"I wasn't going to ask but ok."

Spike served the sandwiches, took one for himself. "Sorry, I was so occupied with hearing you guys talk I almost forgot about the sandwiches."

"It's cool Spike as long as purple pants McGee here doesn't throw a fit I'm fine." Jeff smirked while he ate.

"Purple pants McGee...........Hey!" Twilight took notice of what Jeff said after she wrote it down. "I'm a nice decent shade of Lavender thank you." She smiled.

"You caught up on my sense of humor didn't you?"

"Sarcastic, witty, and as sharp as the knives you carry."

"Got it in one there Twi." Jeff winked. Gonna have to get used to having eyelids again.

Twilight smiled. I can't believe I was so quick to judge Jeff, he's smart, witty, maybe even funnier than Pinkie at some moments, he not that bad looking for another species either. Wait stop thinking that Twilight. I wouldn't even know where begin a relationship with Jeff. Besides where he comes from I'm probably just an animal to him.

"I have a few more questions." Twilight asked as she magically erased the purple pants McGee quote. Jeff took another sandwich and started to eat it. Spike had finished eating and left the room to take a nap.

"Okay."

"I think this is the most important one. What you did to those timberwolves, that psychopathic killing rage. Can you control it? I only ask this to not risk my fellow ponies lives."

"I get that you want to protect others, in my opinion that's very noble. I can control it 90% of the time."

"What about that other 10%?"

"Just let me go into the forest then."

"That's dangerous! There are monsters in there! They'll kill you!"

"No offense Twilight, but I'm one tough son of a bitch. The reason I'm still alive is contributed to that fact, I can go into that forest with my knives and come out bloody, bruised, and battered but still have my heart beating."

"Okay then, just let me or somepony else know when these, um......... urges of yours crop up."

"Okay, boss."

"A-are y-you in a current r-re-relationship?" Twilight squeaked out. Jeff took notice of her question.

"Why would you ask me that?"

"N-no, reason." Twilight squeed.

"No, I'm not in a relationship. The closest thing I had to a relationship was with Jane, as friends of course. That did not end well."

"How come?"

"She was absolutely obsessed with everything I was, right down to the last detail. It was creepy even for my standards. She was a lost soul so I took her under my wing, I showed her what I did in hopes that she would be repulsed enough to stop following me. It had the opposite effect though, I couldn't handle a follower that close so I told her to get lost. Last time we met we cut each other to ribbons. We couldn't kill the other so we separated and left the other to their own business."

"O....kay. I'm just going to put down no."

"Why did you want to know?"

"I just wanted to know, even though it's not apart of what I'm writing down I still wanted to know."

"Whatever, do you know anyone that could make me some clothes?"

"Rarity does, even though she might not like your clothing choices right now."

Jeff grabbed another sandwich. "Like I care what Ms.oh so prissy says."

Spike jumped up. "Don't talk about Rarity like that!"

Jeff looked at the midget dragon. "You really want to get into a fight, WiTh mE?" Spike shrunk back and went upstairs.

"That's what I thought." Jeff continued. "If I'm staying for as long as I think I am, then I need clothes. I don't have fur like ponies so I need thicker and warmer clothes."

"We can visit her tomorrow if you like. It's getting pretty late and I'm tired, do you want to get some sleep?"

I guess it was inevitable I have to get some rest. I could die if I don't, I just hope I don't fade and Jeffrey pops up.

"Fine. I'll get some sleep, besides I don't think anyone is going to come after me when I'm asleep."

Jeff followed Twilight up to her bedroom. "Oh Jeff by the way I have only one bed. Do you mind sharing?"

"Okay I'll sleep in the same bed as you but it is not sleeping together, or slept together got it?"

"Okay, just let me change." Twilight said. They had arrived at the bedroom door and Spike was already asleep. Jeff was behind the door while it was closed. Why does she have to change? She's practically naked already. The door opened again, it was Twilight dressed in fuzzy socks and she was blushing. "You like what you see?" she asked.

"It's okay?" Jeff was confused, was she hitting on him?

She walked to the bed her tail was swishing back and forth. Jeff swore he saw a vagina when she was. She slipped underneath the sheets, and patted the spot next to her. Jeff stripped off his hoodie, shoes, and pants. He lay down in the bed and the sheets covered him up. She cuddled Jeff from behind, I'll just go with it, can't be that bad.

"Good night Twilight."

"Good night Jeff." She sighed.