The Clown Prince of Equestria

Joker groaned as he began to see the red-ish glow of a light through his eyelids. He also felt what was unmistakably an adhesive bandage on a wound on his head. He knew it was a wound because he could also feel a bit of dried blood underneath the bandage.

Maybe everything that had happened yesterday, or however long he'd been unconcious for had been some kind of highly realistic dream... after all, there was no such person as the Clown Prince of Crime, right? There wasn't actually a Joker, was there? He was merely a comic book character, one of the first to ever truly be a mainstay villain, right?

So, when he opened his eyes, he expected to see either a hospital room or his bedroom.

Instead, he saw that he appeared to be lying down on a bed in someone's house. As he sat up and looked around, he noticed that his coat had been hung up and his items had been placed on a bedside table, including-

"The snow globe," whispered Joker,  carefully reaching for the snow globe... only for absolutely nothing to happen when grabbed it. Examining it, he saw that there was a music box crank on the bottom. Deciding that he'd look at it later, Joker took a look at his surroundings, noting that there were various party supplies and various cookbooks stowed away on shelves in the room. That gave him a pretty good idea of who's house he was in.

Sure enough, Pinkie Pie's head poked through the door. "Oh, you're finally up, Mr. Sleepyhead!" she said as she entered the room, a wide grin on her face. "My name's Pinkie Pie! Do you like parties? What's your favorite kind of ice cream? Mine's banana brickle! I gotta say, I don't think I've seen you around before-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Pinkie, cool your jets. I just woke up, you know, and my head is killing me," said Joker, holding his head.

"Oh... sorry," said Pinkie, who began to look a little down.

Joker, seeing that he may have hurt Pinkie's feelings, decided to try to cheer her up. "Hey, don't be down, Pinkie. If it's one thing I cannot stand it's someone with a frown on their face. So, come on and smile," he said.

Pinkie gave a small smile.

"Oh, come on, Pinkie, I think we can do a little better than that... would it help if I said I was sorry for snapping at you and told you a joke?" asked Joker.

"Maybe a little..." said Pinkie.

"Well, I'm sorry for snapping at you. And now for the joke: a pony walked into a bar and said 'Ow,'" said Joker.

Pinkie Pie tilted her head in confusion. "Huh?" she said.

"A pony walked into a bar, as in, a metal pole, and said 'Ow,'" explained Joker.

"Oh... hee hee! That actually is pretty funny," said Pinkie, giggling a little bit.

Joker smiled. "I knew I could get you laughing," he said. "After all, you are my favorite Element of Harmony."

"What do you mean, 'your favorite Element of Harmony?' And how do you know my name? Have you been following us? Who else has been following us? WHO IS IN YOUR RING OF SPIES?!" yelled Pinkie, grabbing Joker by his vest and shaking him.

"Hey, easy, Pinkie, my dear. There's a whole toy company following you, making a mint off of your adventures, recording every single detail of them, I might add, all while selling everything from toys to lunchboxes... although, you girls do seem to be a bit more bipedal than I remember... weird Anyways, I'd advise against telling your friends about it. They might think you've gone crazier than usual!" said Joker with a laugh.

"Hee! You're funny! Say, I almost forgot to ask... what's your name?" asked Pinkie.

"My name... is Joker."

"Joker? You mean, like the playing card?" asked Pinkie.

"Yep," said Joker.

"That is... THE MOST EPICALLY FUNERIFIC AWESOME POSSUM SUPER-COOL NAME EVER!" squealed Pinkie. "Wait right there, I've got something to show you!"

With that, Pinkie Pie zoomed downstairs, leaving Joker to wonder just what she was up to. Not even a minute had passed, however, before she was back with a familiar-looking wagon.

Uh-oh, it's the Welcome Wagon... my clothes will be ruined! Oh, well, sounds like an excuse to go meet Rarity! thought Joker as Pinkie Pie turned on her wagon and began her welcome song.

"Welcome welcome welcome! A fine welcome to you! Welcome welcome welcome! I say how do you do? Welcome welcome welcome! I say hip hip hurray! Welcome welcome welcome to Ponyville today!" sang Pinkie. "Wait for it..."

Just as Joker anticipated, when the song came to an end, out of the Welcome Wagon's oven came a blast of confetti, and out of the confetti cannons came globs of cake batter, covering the room, Joker, and Pinkie.

"Whoops! I guess I put the confetti in the oven and the cake batter in the confetti cannons! Again!" said Pinkie, before she cleaned herself off with one impossible lick of her tongue.

Joker, meanwhile, wasn't quite so lucky. His face was shrouded in cake batter, as were parts of his outfit and coat. At least my gadgets are okay, thought Joker. "Hey, Pinkie, do you think Rarity can help me figure out how to get my clothes cleaned up? I mean, I just got to this world via snow globe yesterday, and-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up a moment! Did you say that you came here from another world?!" said Pinkie Pie, a look of the utmost shock on her face as her hands covered up her mouth.

"Yes... and?" said Joker.

"But, then that must mean... you don't have a home! No money! No clothes except the ones on your back! No food! And worst of all, NOT A SINGLE FRIEND IN THE WORLD!!!" screamed Pinkie as she tackled Joker in a backbreaking hug.

"Pinkie! You're crushing my spine! Can't breathe!" gasped Joker in pain.

Pinkie let go of the hug, looked Joker right in the eye, and said, "I have GOT to throw you a party, and get you some friends! But, first, let's see what Rarity can do about your wardrobe!"

And with that, Pinkie grabbed Joker by the hand and pulled him along, allowing Joker just enough time to grab his overcoat.

...

As Pinkie Pie and Joker made their way to the Carrousel Boutique, several ponies gave them odd looks, and Joker was highly certain that the coating of cake batter on them wasn't really helping with anyone's impressions. When they finally got to Rarity's store, Pinkie pounded away on the door. "Rarity! Rarity! We have a fashion emergency on our hands!"

Rarity opened the door, looking exhausted and a little irritated. "Pinkie, whatever do you- WAHAHA HA!" she cried in horror upon seeing The Joker's chalk white skin, ruby red smile, and green hair, all of which had cake batter all over. Recover from her shock, Rarity grabbed Joker by the hand and pulled him into the Boutique's fitting room and pushed him into a chair.

"First off, we have to clean up that cake batter and that repulsive clown makeup," said Rarity, grabbing a washrag and a bucket.

"Uh, actually, Miss Belle-"

"Oh, hush, my dear, don't you fret a bit. By the time I'm finished, you'll look simply magnificent," said Rarity.

With that, Rarity got the washrag wet, and began to try to clean Joker's face off, but only succeeded in getting the cake batter off. Much to Rarity's frustration, the white face and smile still remained.

"Hmm... that makeup of yours seems to be putting up quite the fight. No matter, though, I'll get that cleaned off in no time!" said Rarity.

"Rarity, it's not-" said Joker, only to be blinded by two cucumbers, followed swiftly by what Joker could only assume was some kind of exfoliating gel.

...

Several hours later, Rarity had gotten no closer to restoring Joker's face to its original state.

"I must say, that's quite some makeup you've got on there, Mr..." said Rarity.

"Joker. My name is Joker, and for the umpteenth time, I'm not wearing makeup, this is my actual face," growled Joker in anger.

"What? Why, whatever do you mean?" asked Rarity, apparently confused.

"Yeah, what DO you mean?"

Joker and Rarity looked towards the doorway and saw Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy,Spike, and Pinkie Pie standing there, interested looks on their faces. Well, Fluttershy's expression was more nervous than interested, but the others looked interested.

"Praytell, how in the wide, wide, world of Equestria did you get there?" asked Rarity.

"I brought them here! I wanted to invite Applejack too, but she refused to come... something about something Joker said and not trusting him because of it, but, seriously, who couldn't trust him! He's a clown!" said Pinkie with a huge grin.

"Honestly, I could think of a few ponies," Rainbow whispered in Twilight's ear.

Twilight ignored her and approached Joker. "So, your name is Joker... I wonder, could you by any chance be Mr. J, the one who left that present in the library?" she asked Joker.

"Let's not forget that he Joy Buzzed me into unconsciousness," added Spike.

"Yep, that sounds like me," said Joker.

"So, YOU were behind that box that punched me IN THE FACE?!" yelled Rarity.

"What, you girls can't take a joke? I got you the Elements, didn't I?" said Joker defensively.

"That does not excuse the fact that you could've seriously hurt Rarity," said Twilight. "I think you need to apologize to her."

"I most certainly agree!" said Rarity.

"All right, all right! I'm sorry for the incident with the box, Rarity."

"Hmph! I should certainly hope so!" said Rarity.

"Um, excuse me, Mr. Joker, I think you were going to tell us about how your face ended up looking like that... if it's not too much trouble," said Fluttershy.

"No, no, no, it's no trouble at all, Bats-"

"Um, actually, my name is Fluttershy."

"I know," said Joker. "Well, to be honest, I hardly remember what happened myself. When I woke up in the hospital, they told me that I'd been trying to catch a bat when I fell into a vat of chemicals at the plant where I worked. When they held a mirror up to my face, this is what looked back at me... because of my accident, well... let's just say not a lot of people want to hang around a guy who looks like this, let alone date them."

Joker knew instantly that he'd won over every pony in the room. Rarity and Fluttershy's eyes filled up with sympathtic tears, Twilight had her hand over her mouth, Rainbow seemed to be at a loss for words, and Pinkie began to openly wail and tackled Joker in a big hug.

Once Joker could finally breathe again, he finished his story. "Yeah, life's been pretty cruel to me. Then, in another bizarre twist of fate, I went to this huge comic book convention, and bought a snow globe. Next thing I know, I'm here, and well, there you go."

"Hmm...  so, what you're saying is that you came here from another world?" said Twilight.

"Pretty much, yeah."

"In that case, stop by the Golden Oaks Library after Pinkie's party, as I'd like to run some tests," said Twilight.

"And I suppose you won't take 'no' for an answer?" asked Joker.

"You assume correctly."

"Very well, then... I suppose I could stop by. But, for now, I think I'll have myself a little tour of Ponyville, if you'd like to be my tour guide, Pinkie," said Joker.

"Absotutely-lutely!"

As Pinkie and The Joker left, Rarity muttered to the others, "A bit eccentric, that Joker character, don't you think?"

"I don't know, Rarity... we'll have to wait for those test results before we know just how eccentric he REALLY is," said Twilight.

...

Meanwhile, at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack was in her bedroom with tear-soaked eyes, gazing at an old photograph. In it was a red stallion with a blonde mane and tail, wearing a flannel shirt, overalls, cowboy boots, and what looked like Applejack's hat, a young colt who looked like a younger version of Big Macintosh, a younger Applejack, and a mare with a cream yellow coat and a red mane and tail wearing a plaid dress and heels who was holding a baby who looked just like her.

Applejack smiled at the photo, remembering how happy she and her siblings had been before their parents had been taken from them...it just wasn't fair, and now some mysterious clown was dancing on their graves... how could she possibly come to like or even trust someone so cruel and insensitive?

Someone knocked on the door. "Sis? Ya'll okay in there? Granny Smith's gettin' worried," said the voice of a young teenage girl.

"Ye-yeah, Ah'm fine, Apple Bloom... just thinkin' 'bout some things," said Applejack.

Apple Bloom's voice rang out again, this time with the impression that she was walking through a minefield. "Is it 'bout Ma an' Pa?"

Applejack didn't reply. Apple Bloom seemed to take this as a yes.

"Okay, Ah'll just leave ya be, then."