“Luna” growled and struck out at Alucard, a fistful of teal, starry lightning tearing through his neck and causing his entire body to shred itself from the inside out, splattering the black-wearing Immortal and the first few rows of the crowd with Alucard’s blood. She grinned, enjoying the sound of the screams as everybody stampeded from the building.

Twilight stared at the Immortal, completely unfazed from the blood splattering the robe she had donned. As Alucard’s blood dripped down her face, she couldn’t help but to flick her tongue out and catch a droplet of it, tasting it as her eyes widened and began glowing a fierce pinkish-red.

‘This blood… Alucard’s blood… it’s so rich… so… so powerful….’

Twilight couldn’t help herself, she grinned and prepared her standard battle magic, not even noticing that her canines began lengthening ever so slightly.

“Luna” looked at Twilight with a smirk. “You seem rather unfazed by the gruesome death of your servant, little girl. You don’t even bat an eye at being covered in his bloo-EEEEEKKKK!!!” She cried out as a pair of gloved hands grabbed her breasts from behind.

“Luna, did your tits get bigger while you were gone?” Alucard asked with a lecherous grin on his face, his hat and shades gone as he looked past her at Twilight. “Boss, you look sexy covered in my blood.” Looking back at the woman he was fondling, he licked the Immortal’s neck. “You taste like jealousy and pent up sexual tension. Want me to help you with that second one, Lulu?”

Twilight pouted and stomped petulantly, “Dammit Alucard you ruined my dramatic moment! I was gonna say something like ‘Shredding him is step one, but what about two through ten?’ and you fucking ruined it you goddamn moodkiller!”

Spike nodded, “Yeah, it woulda been really cool too, cuz she was trying to give you an opportunity to freak the shit out of that bitch!”

“Language, Spike.”

“Moooooom! We’re kinda in the middle of something here! Can’t it wait?”

The black clad Immortal scowled and judo-flipped Alucard over her shoulder and back onto the ground, summoning black lightning to her hands shortly after. “How the blazes did you even survive that!? Almost nothing can survive being shredded like that!”

“Fuck you, that’s how,” Alucard answered with a grin.

Twilight rolled her eyes, “Laaaaaaame.”

“Ja. Zhat only really vorked on Father Anderson,” Schrodinger said while getting some more cake. “Und even zhen because he vas already quoting Boondock Saints.”

“.... Who the hell is that and do you know him, Alucard?” Twilight looked over at Schrodinger, scratching the back of her head.

“That’s just Schrodinger,” Alucard said as he got up with a grin.

“Nice move, groping zhe Immortal, Alucard,” Schrodinger said while grinning at said Immortal, who growled and screamed as she let loose a massive streak of black lightning, slamming it into Schrodinger and simultaneously darkening the room and blinding everyone from the flash.

“Impressive light show,” Schrodinger said from the other end of the buffet table, totally unharmed as he munched on some cake and sipped punch. “If you’re vondering how I survived zhat. It’s quite simple, really.” He grinned at her with half-lidded eyes. “I am everyvhere and novhere.”

The Immortal screamed in frustration and threw her head back, crying, “WHY AREN’T YOU PEOPLE STAYING DEAD WHEN I KILL YOU!?” She even stomped her foot in petulance, completely shattering any drama that would have formed. “Grr… fine! You win this round! But I swear that all of you whelps will rue the day that you crossed NIGHTMARE MOON!”

And with that, Nightmare Moon vanished into a cloud of starry nebula and zipped out the door, leaving town hall completely trashed and splattered with Alucard’s blood.

Silence reigned until Alucard spoke. “Boss. May I be completely honest with you?”

“Yes, Alucard?” Twilight asked, stripping off the robe she had put on and burning it into dust. She straightened her blazer and tie and pulled her hair out of its bun, “What do you need to say?”

“Two things,” Alucard said. “One. I am positively throbbing over this turn of events.”

“As expected. And the second?”

Alucard grinned at her. “You being covered in my blood… Is the sexiest I’ve ever seen you.”

“........” Twilight blushed, it being barely visible under the blood, and looked away. “Dammit Alucard, don’t say things like that!”

“How did it taste?” Alucard asked in his rarer serious tone. “Did you enjoy the taste of power? Of tasting just how utterly your usual magic infused blood snacks fail to match up to the blood of a true vampire lord?”

“It was…. it was almost intoxicating,” Twilight spoke, her eyes glazing over at the ecstasy that even a single drop had brought, “I…. If I had any more, I might… well… ahem…”

Alucard chuckled. “Just one drop brought you to the brink of an intense climax, master?” He drew Casull and Jackal. “Well, you’ll have a chance to taste blood of that level again. Once we corner Nightmare Moon.”

Twilight refocused, “Right. Stop the bitch trying to make eternal night first, massive orgasm later aaaand I really need to stop hanging out with you.” She shook her head, recalling the children’s legend she had read a few years back. “According to the legend, Nightmare Moon was defeated by Celestia using the Elements of Harmony, which were, and sources differ, either lost forever or sealed away deep in the castle of the old capital of Equestria.”

“So we need to find the Elements of Harmony,” Alucard said before screams echoed from outside the building. Rushing outside, he was met by the sight of what looked like zombies attacking the people. “So she left a present for us.”

“.... Oh gods what the hell are these things!?” Twilight exclaimed, throwing up a shield to keep an undead thing from biting her.

“They’re ghouls,” Alucard said. “The lowest rung of vampire created when a deflowered human is bitten by a vampire. They’re much like zombies. You find out where the Elements of Harmony may be. I’ll take care of the ghouls, master.”

Twilight nodded resolutely, “Right!” She sped off, the years she had spent training in combat magic under her brother allowing her to dodge the ghouls’ clumsy attempts at attacking her. As she sped towards the edge of town, towards the Everfree, she came across Applejack and Rarity, back to back and trying desperately to fend off the ghouls using earth shattering kicks and pinpoint martial arts.

Still, Twilight could see they were failing, and she signalled Alucard to watch her back as she held her hands up, a growing orb of black and violet eldritch energy sparking into being.

Alucard looked at the orb in curiosity as he offhandedly shot the ghouls that got too close to his precious master, their heads being taken off by the blessed silver bullets.

On Twilight’s back, the tattoo centered between her shoulder blades, as well as the ones on either shoulder began glowing a bright violet, sparking with excess magic. Finally, Twilight released the orb, driving it into the ground as she summoned up her own army to deal with things.

From the ground, summoned all the way from the deepest caverns beneath Canterlot, came hundreds of thousands of skeletal, crystalline things came pouring out of the ground. Each one was different from the next, though all of them were uniformly black, crystalline, and with glowing, magenta eyes and orbs in their chest cavities.

A pair of half serpentine, half centipede chimera golems tore into the ghouls surrounding Applejack and Rarity, while a tiger/wasp/wolf/lion tore open a path so that the farm girl and fashionista could get to Twilight.

They both panted, staring fearfully at the clashing armies around them and sneaking glances at Twilight’s glowing eyes. Twilight turned back to her army, making minute motions and activating her lower back tattoo, temporarily sectioning off a portion of her considerable intellect in order to multitask both controlling her minions and focusing on the task at hand. Eyes glowing a solid magenta now, she turned to Applejack and Rarity, “Alright you two, obviously this looks really bad, but my minions should be able to hold off the ghouls for now. If you want, you can stay and fight, or you can follow me to try and find a solution to Nightmare Moon’s eternal night plan.”

From the sky, a rainbow trailed blur settled in front of Twilight. “And just who is Nightmare Moon?! How are you so calm?! And how did you get your own private army?! Are you a spy?!” Rainbow Dash demanded with a glare.

“Accuse my master of treachery again, Rainbow Dash! See what happens!” Alucard threatened in a menacing tone that would be new to the weather girl.

Rainbow shrank back, hands held up in surrender, “Nope! I’m sorry! Not gonna happen again!” She hid behind Twilight, now very afraid of the gun-toting, crimson fucker. The whole world seemed to pause for barely half a second before a piercing scream rang out from nearby, Fluttershy sprinting from an alleyway, chased by a horde of ghouls.

Twilight groaned, “Seriously? It’s like the world is conspiring to bring me back to the first five people I met in this damn place.” Schrodinger smirked, but said nothing.

Alucard leveled the Casull at the ghouls chasing Fluttershy and, with the help of the vampiric third eye, blasted all their heads off without a shot ever coming near Fluttershy. “The silver cross of Lancaster Cathedral was melted down to make these 13 millimeter exploding shells. Nothing I shoot ever gets back up again.” He approached Fluttershy and looked the trembling woman in the eye. “Are you alright, Miss Fluttershy?” His demeanor was so at odds with what they’d met that Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash were very confused by it.

Fluttershy whimpered and clung to Alucard, nodding ever so slightly. “I-I’m alright,” she whispered, nearly sobbing into Alucard’s coat from fear.

Alucard gently led her over to his master’s side. “We’ll protect you, Miss Fluttershy. Stay right by my master’s side.”

Rainbow cocked her head to the side, “Hold on, you just threatened to murder me like five seconds ago. What gives, man!? Why are you so nice now!?”

Pinkie poked her head up from behind Rainbow’s shoulder, “Because Fluttershy is soooo adorable that even Mr. Big Scary Red Man has to be nice to her! Also, he actually feels bad for nearly making her cry earlier today.” Schrodinger jumped back in surprise, not expecting Pinkie to show up right next to him.

“.... Huh… wait you nearly made Fluttershy cry!?” Rainbow got up in Alucard’s face before being pulled back by Applejack.

“Dash, now is not the time nor place to be all up in ‘is face about that. If y’all hadn’t noticed, the town’s been overrun by zombies.”

“... Right…. I’m still gonna murder him later for that, though…”

Twilight rolled her eyes, not that anyone would notice under the glow, and motioned towards the Everfree. “Alright girls, since we’re all here, our greatest lead to stopping Nightmare Moon is in the direction of the old castle in the Everfree. Since we have such a large group, and my minions can handle the ghouls quite easily–” To make a point, an eagle/wasp/centipede/wyvern tore the heads off five ghouls simultaneously with its freakishly segmented tail and claws– “I think we should just stick together and search for the Elements of Harmony together. More people means more ground covered in less time, after all.”

Twilight led the march through the Everfree, the various cutting and burning spells she had mastered over the years making her perfect for clearing a path through the overgrown jungle. Her normal magenta magelight served to light their path, while Twilight’s compass spell kept them going in the right direction. All too soon however, a wisp of darkness cut across her field of view for just long enough for Twilight to flinch back and extinguish her magelight on accident, plunging the whole group into pitch black.

Schrodinger rolled his eyes, “Zhere better not be any grues in zhis fucking jungle.”

Fluttershy stumbled to the side, bracing herself on a nearby tree, only to flinch back and scream when it suddenly lit up with a monstrous face.

Alucard whipped out his guns at Fluttershy’s scream, the trees around them lighting up with more monstrous faces.

Pinkie spun around, taking in the stationary trees and their horribly made faces. She snorted, “G-guys! Ha! Look at these things! Pfffft! That one looks like an angry bunny! AHAAAA~!”

Schrodinger strode up to one of the trees, knocking on it and chuckling when it failed to so much as creak in response, “Pfft. If zhe bitch vas trying to psych us out, she vould have had better luck throwing a bucket of ice vater over us. Zhis? Zhis is just… pffffahahahaha! Oh mein gott zhese faces are vorse zhan even zhe art zhat I make! Ahahahahaha!”

Immediately the rest of the girls cracked up, realizing that for all their shock value, the faces were, really, just very very badly made carvings.

Twilight giggled, “It’s like a third grader tried to make these! Alucard look! That! That one! Aha! Is that what a bat looks like!? Khaaahahaha!” She fell to the ground, laughing hysterically.

Alucard actually had to holster his guns and clutch his chest as his mad cackling tore from his throat. “Trying to scare us with childish images?! I’ve seen five year olds make better than this, Nightmare Moon!”

From her position in the shadows, Nightmare’s mistform fumed petulantly before racing off to prepare more traps, plotting deviously with every meter covered.

A few minutes later, the laughter wound down as everybody slowly regained control over their lungs. Twilight huffed and shucked off her blazer, stuffing it back into her pocket dimension.

“Alright everyone, we’ve had a good laugh, now it’s serious time. Nightmare Moon’s already got a head start, and that only made it worse. So, we gotta move fast or else this night really will last forever.” She began moving again, blazing a trail with greater speeds, the sound of slicing branches and swathes of flame rippling around her.

Alucard looked skyward at the full moon through the trees. “How beautiful. Nights like this make me want to have a bite to drink.”

Applejack flinched away from Alucard, recalling his comment to her yesterday while Pinkie and Twilight groaned in frustration. The other girls simply looked confused at Alucard’s statement, but felt like they should be slightly creeped out. Schrodinger just rolled his eyes and pretended that he hadn’t heard such a terrible joke.

“Alucard, it can wait until we fight Nightmare Moon. Now come on, we have to keep… is it just me or is the ground tiltiiiiiiiiiiii-!” The ground immediately caved to the side, shattering into a seventy degree angle that dumped all the girls (and the two men as well) onto their asses, sending them skidding and rolling off the newly formed cliff one by one. Rainbow and Fluttershy immediately took to the air, catching Pinkie and Rarity respectively and lowering them to the ground. Applejack, using her leg strength to the fullest, somehow managed to use falling boulders like stepping stones and bounced to the ground.

Twilight screeched, almost like a banshee, as she fell, sheer panic preventing her from simply casting a spell to save herself. Thankfully, Alucard was an attentive servant and anti-climactically caught Twilight in a bridal carry before she could splat.

Schrodinger just yawned and dropped from the tree branch he’d been reclining on. “Nightmare Moon… I am everyvhere and novhere. Zhat trick von’t vork on me.”

“You’re an asshole, catboy!” Rainbow Dash snapped.

Alucard looked at Twilight as he landed, ignoring Schrodinger stick his tongue out at Dash. “Are you alright, master?” His voice was laced with concern and worry.

Twilight groaned and dropped to the ground, “Well, that was unexpected to say the least. I’m fine, Alucard, but thanks for your concern. Now, is everyone okay?”

A round of nods.

“Good, we can’t let a little bit of cliff falling drag us down. We need to keep moving. After all, we don’t stop Nightmare Moon… we condemn the world to a slow death by freezing.” Twilight marched on, now nearly steaming with magenta wisps of mana. She stared resolutely forward, promising a world of pain on Nightmare Moon for the absolute shit she had just been through.

Alucard stared after his master and smiled, feeling himself fall for her all over again. “I can only hope Pinkie Pie is correct in her belief that I can have a successful relationship with Twilight.”

Rainbow groaned from her position in the air, “Does this forest ever end!? I swear we just walked by that tree a few seconds ago!”

As if just to spite Rainbow, a thick wall of almost blue fog rolled in, covering the path for a few seconds before dispersing, leaving behind faint shafts of light to pierce through the canopy of the forest.

Rarity looked up excitedly, “Is… is that the sunrise!?”

Twilight looked up, squinted, and carved a hole through the canopy, prompting gloriously golden sunlight to spill through and strike the faces of the girls. Twilight gasped, “The sun is up! Princess Celestia must have defeated Nightmare Moon again!”

“Master!” Alucard’s disembodied voice called in worry. “Master can you hear me?!”

Twilight looked around, searching for any sign of Alucard, but he seemed to have vanished. The only thing that kept Twilight from assuming it was one of Alucard’s jokes was his tone of voice. Unless the situation was truly dire, he absolutely never spoke with any worry in his voice.

“Alucard!? Where did you go!? Describe your surroundings!”

“Old memories. That’s all I’ll say, master,” Alucard answered. “The bitch trapped us in separate illusions! Must have known about my third eye. I can find my way through but I can’t see any of you. I’m sorry, master. I cannot help you right now. You’ll have to find your own way out.” He sounded positively furious that he couldn’t get to her.

Twilight tried illusion breaker after illusion breaker, failing to dispel the much higher level of magic surrounding her. “I’m sorry Alucard, I’ll try and see if I can find my way out! You just hang in there, find us later!”

Schrodinger whistled a tune as he leaned on a tree beside a broken bridge. “Vhat is taking zhem so long? Did zhey get lost or somesing?”

“Alright! I’ll see you on the other side!” Alucard answered. “And master?”

“Yes Alucard?” Twilight called back, still trying futilely to break the illusion while the other girls milled about in worry.

“Please be careful.” Alucard’s voice clearly conveyed his concern for his master. “I know damn well that you can and will get through, but still, be careful.”

“I will, Alucard! I’d tell you to be careful, but, clearly, the sentiment is wasted.” Twilight chuckled then sobered up, turning back to the group, “Girls, I’m sorry, but… I can’t break the illusion. We’re basically blind here. We have no way of telling if we’re on the right path. Even my compass spell is giving me false readings.”

The girls all groaned in frustration in despair, Rainbow being the most vocal as she kicked a tree, enraged. Applejack sat on a stump, idly playing with a stick while she waited… was it getting… darker? “Girls, do y’all see what I’m seeing?”

“And what’s that, Applejack?” Twilight asked, looking around for any changes in the scenery. None came to her, the sky still remaining its same, high-noon blue.

“Ah… Ah think it’s gettin’ darker…” Applejack looked around, the illusion pulling away from wherever she looked in clouds of shimmering mist.

Pinkie frowned, “I don’t see anything, AJ… are you sure it’s getting darker?”

“Well, Ah can sorta see th’ ‘llusion pullin’ back, if that’s what yer askin’,” Applejack responded, walking forward along the path she saw and looking like she had just walked through the massive dead tree blocking off part of the various paths the illusion had generated. “... Yup, girls, follow mah voice!”

Twilight motioned the other girls to follow as she slowly, cautiously pushed through the illusory, coming out of a massive bank of navy blue fog as she did so. “It’s clear, girls!”

Rainbow dashed out of the fog, looping around in midair in joy, “Aww yes! Thanks AJ!”

Rarity tilted her head and stared at Applejack, “Darling, how did you do that?”

“W-well, Ah don’ know… I just… I just thought that that illusion was a mighty big bother, and… it just… went away…” Applejack stammered, not used to being the center of any sort of weird magical issue.

“Seems that you have something akin to my own third eye,” Alucard said as he approached them and smiled at Twilight for a moment. “Are you alright, master?”

Twilight nodded and smiled back, “Yeah, I’m alright. You?”

“Of course. An illusion like that is nothing before my third eye,” Alucard said with pride. A snarl behind them drew his attention. Thrusting out his arm, he caught a lunging manticore by the throat. “What is this creature?” he asked in a calm tone as he grinned at the beast in his grip, watching it struggle.

Fluttershy gasped and cried out, “Wait! Put him down!” The busty aerial rushed over to the side of the manticore, pushing gently at Alucard’s arm. Without waiting for Alucard’s response, Fluttershy immediately dropped to her knees and began fiddling with one of the manticore’s paws.

“What are you doing, Miss Fluttershy?” Alucard asked. “This creature came at us with hostility. What interest could its paw hold for you?”

Fluttershy stood and nuzzled the now considerably more docile creature, “The poor baby just had a thorn stuck in its paw. Look!” She held up the wickedly curved barb of plant matter, dropping it to the ground shortly after. “He was just a little cranky, that’s all,” she continued to hug the manticore even after Alucard dropped it, allowing the creature to nuzzle Fluttershy back and lick her face affectionately.

Alucard looked at Fluttershy with a curious expression before smiling. As the manticore departed, he reached out and gently laid his hand on the girl’s shoulder. “You have an amazing gift, Miss Fluttershy.”

“O-oh, thank you, Mr. Alucard… But really, it’s nothing special...” Fluttershy blushed and looked to the side, slightly hiding behind her hair.

“.... Well that happened,” Twilight muttered, turning back to the path at hand and… “Are you kidding me!? When did you get there!?” she screamed at Schrodinger, eyes ablaze with nearly crimson fury.

“You’re so slow!” Schrodinger teased. “In zhe time it took you to catch up, I vent all zhe vay back to town, ate a slice of cake, zhen came back.” He chuckled and smirked at Twilight as his ears twitched a couple of times. “Don’t act so surprised. As I said, I am-”

“Everywhere and nowhere, we get it,” Twilight deadpanned, “you only said that about four hundred times.”

“Seras said zhe exact same sing!” Schrodinger teased with a grin. “So. Who vould like to jump a chasm to fix zhis broken bridge?” he asked as he gestured to the bridge in question.

Rainbow huffed, “Like you couldn’t just fix it yourself?”

“I am everyvhere and novhere,” Schrodinger said. “Not a miracle vorker.”

“... Fiiiine.” Rainbow vanished in a blur, zipping down the chasm just as soon as another bank of fog rolled in. “Are you shitting me!? More fog!?” came her exasperated cry, somehow muffled by the fog.

Inside the chasm, Rainbow picked up the end of the rickety rope bridge that connected the two ends of the massive crack in the earth and flew out and up, coming to the other side with little fanfare. As she tied off the first post, she heard a rustling of wings behind her, a trio of dark suited aerials dropping from the fog and landing in front of her before moving into a dramatic team pose.

“.... And who the hell are you?” Rainbow asked, looking at the weirdos in their rip-off Wonderbolt uniforms.

The dark clothed aerials posed again, their leader extending a flyer towards Rainbow, “We’re the Shadowbolts, and we’d like to recruit you Rainbow Dash! All you need to do… is just take a flight with us.”

Rainbow stared at the flyer before shrugging and turning back to the bridge, “Piss off. My hometown is infested with zombies, there’s eternal night happening, Nightmare Moon is apparently real… and you guys want me to go and take a flight with you right now!? Get lost, assholes, and get your priorities straight… and also stop making those weird-ass poses.”

With his vampire hearing, Alucard heard the whole exchange and laughed loudly. “Well said, Rainbow Dash! Well said indeed!”

Rainbow took in the praise and waved the rest of the group over, making sure that the ropes held firm as they crossed. “Tch. Stupid weirdos. Don’t they know I’d never leave my friends hanging?”

“Apparently not,” Twilight spoke, placing a hand on Rainbow’s shoulder. “Whatever you did, thanks for not leaving us behind, Rainbow.”

“No prob, so, keep going?”

“Keep going.”

Twilight winced, all this walking was really making her feet sore, and she regretted not taking the time to change into sneakers earlier. “Okay, for some reason I expected the castle to be right after the bridge. Silly me. Wait… is that water up ahead?”

Indeed, up ahead was a viciously flowing river, the waves unnaturally thrashing, a wailing river serpent within it, whose distraught tantrum was stirring the water. Alucard grimaced. “We must deal with the serpent before we can continue. I cannot easily cross running water.”

Twilight grumbled, “Great….” She sighed and walked up to the bank closest to the sea serpent, calling out, “Hey! What’s wrong? What’s with the tantrum?”

“Oh it’s just the absolute worst thing! So I was just sitting here, minding my own business and filing my nails, when all of sudden this tacky cloud of whatever comes flying past me and rips of half of my wondrous mustache! And now I look absolutely horrid!” the river serpent wailed pitifully, swooning and making all the most flamboyant of gestures.

Alucard grumbled and started drawing the Jackal. “Why don’t I put him out of his misery, master?” He leveled the black pistol at the river serpent. “Pure silver Macedonian processed mercury ammunition. In Marvell’s NNA9 cartridges. 39 centimeters long, weighing 16 kilograms with 13 millimeter armor piercing rounds. The Jackal will make it quick and relatively painless.”

“Alucard, do you alvays solve your problems by killing zhem?” Schrodinger rhetorically inquired.

The serpent continued acting the part of the diva, not even noticing Alucard’s threat. Rarity gasped and pushed Alucard’s arm down, keeping him from firing. She called up to the serpent, “I couldn’t help but notice your plight, darling, and it truly is horrid that your moustache has been so terribly defiled! So, as a fashionista myself, I must ask you to lower your head down to where I can reach, Mr.. erm… I don’t believe I ever caught your name, my good sir.”

The serpent lowered his head and spoke, “My name is Steven Magnet, girlfriend, and, I’m sorry, but I don’t know if you’ll be able to do anything for the damage… there’s just so much of it!”

Rarity patted Steven’s massive chin and smiled, “Just leave that all to me… though, I’m going to need…”

“Ouch!”

“...this scale of yours. I do apologize, but I didn’t bring my usual styling kit today. Now, hold still, please…”

Rainbow tilted her head, “Y’know what, that actually does look pretty good. Maybe grow out a bit more of a beard to fill it out, but it’s damn good for a five minute hack job with a sharpened scale and half a mustache.”

Twilight looked at Rainbow, “Y’know, you were the last person I expected to compliment Rarity’s work.”

“What? I hate dressing up, but even I can tell when something looks good. Jeez, I’m a tomboy, I’m not blind.”

“Fair enough.”

Alucard chuckled. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I must agree that Miss Rarity can be quite the miracle worker in that field.”

Schrodinger shrugged. “Eh. I’ve seen better.” He looked at the river. “Oh look! Zhe vater is calm now. Let’s see if we can’t get Alucard across.”

Steven looked down at his reflection, marveling at the way Rarity had used her magic to turn parts of his hair into extensions for his moustache. “Oh miss Rarity, how can I ever repay you for your kindness?”

Rarity waved him off, “Nonsense dear. Think of it as a gift from me to you. Though, we do still find ourselves in the precarious position of needing a bridge across the river… Hmm…”

Steven perked up and raised his body out of the water, forming a thick and mostly flat path to the other side of the river, “Not a problem, girlfriend! Just cross the river using my back. Don’t worry hun, I got tough scales.”

“Well there’s that problem solved,” Alucard said as he dashed across the serpent’s back to the opposite bank, making sure there was nothing that could bring harm to his master in the immediate area. Twilight and the girls followed soon after, Rarity stopping to trade a few fashion tips with Steven before continuing onwards.

Finally, finally, after what seemed like forever, the castle came into view. Twilight nearly sighed in relief, happy that they had finally made their way from the forest and to their destination.

“Okay girls, we’re out of the forest, but we’re not done yet. We need to split into pairs and search for the Elements. Be careful though, Nightmare Moon may be lurking around here somewhere.”

Applejack nodded, “Ah’ll go with Rarity. Keep her safe n’ all.”

Rarity nodded, “Our respective combat styles are a decent match.”

Rainbow Dash grabbed Fluttershy, “Anyone tries to hurt Flutters, they’ll have to go through me first!”

Twilight shrugged and turned to Alucard, “Alucard, I know this might seem like a bad idea, but I want you to go with Schrodinger. If Nightmare Moon really is lurking around here, she’ll probably try to take out the strongest fighters first. So far as she knows, that’s you two, so putting you two together minimizes the risk to the rest of us. I’ll go with Pinkie Pie.”

Schrodinger was agast. “Vhat?! You’re using us as bait?!”

“We’ll be fine,” Alucard said as he started walking off. “Besides…” He flashed a sinister, bloodthirsty grin. “I’ve waited 1500 years for this fight.”

“Good. Everyone ready?”

“Ready.” “As we’ll ever be, darling.” “Yup.” “I-I… I suppose?” “Yepperooni!”

“Alright then, move out!” With that Twilight grabbed Pinkie by the arm and began searching the main throne room.

Alucard entered a tower that had lost its roof, grinning up a storm as he extended his senses, especially his third eye. “Come to me, Luna. Face me like the warrior goddess that you are. Like you did in that far distant time.”

From the shadows, Nightmare Moon circled around the room, looking for an opening to strike. She refused to rise to the name Luna, that was a remnant of a time far gone, a time without such glory… a time without her insatiable bloodthirst. Still, in the end, she took the bait and lunged forth, lances of blue fire, spinning from her hands and slamming into both Alucard and Schrodinger as she rolled across the floor, slipping into position behind both males and flinging them together with a burst of telekinesis.

While Schrodinger appeared unharmed on the sidelines, Alucard regenerated and turned to Nightmare Moon, drawing the Casull and aiming at her before firing a burst of three shots at the fallen lunar princess. “Tell me, Luna. How did you become a monster? How did you come to carry the burden of vampirism?”

Nightmare took all three shots without flinching, even as her blood, blackened and sparking with eldritch energy, splattered the wall behind her. She hissed as her wounds dissolved into mist and regenerated, “I shall tell you nothing, worm! All you must know is that I shall kill you and then I shall rule this land in eternal night!” She responded with a burst of chain lightning, striking out at Alucard and everything around him.

Alucard tanked the lightning and fired several more shots. Once he saw those wounds regenerate, he grinned madly as he drew the Jackal and fired a shot from it at her. Let her try to regenerate wounds from a weapon made to kill regenerators. “How did it happen? Were you turned by another vampire? Or maybe like me you were offered power by a dark being and drank blood willingly.”

“All you need to know is that I’m going to kill you!” Nightmare ran forward, flowing around the shot and pulling a sword of black flame from the air as she charged into melee combat.

Alucard’s grin widened as he dodged around her slashes and kept firing at her. “Oh I’m sure you’ll talk, Luna. Eventually, you’ll talk!”

Her only response was an inarticulate scream of rage as she abandoned her sword in favor of attempting to rip out Alucard’s throat with her fangs. Unfortunately for her, Alucard grabbed her around the throat and with a little mutter of, “Nice try,” threw Nightmare through the wall, though she recovered and slammed back into him, discharging a massive bolt of lightning into Alucard’s torso and frying him from the inside out.

Alucard coughed up blood as his eyes boiled and steamed. At first he seemed defeated. Until he started chuckling. “Excellent.” He looked at her with a truly manic look as he got to his feet. “I haven’t had this much fun in ages. Let’s kick things up a notch,” he said ominously as the seals on his gloves glowed. “Releasing Control Art Restriction System Levels Three… Two… One…” His form began shifting as his long red coat vanished into the black mass he was becoming. “Approval of Situation A recognized. Commencing the Cromwell Invocation. Ability restrictions lifted for limited use until the enemy has been rendered silent.”

Nightmare dashed back, instantly wary but put up a brave face nonetheless, “Hah! You think a paltry form change will be enough to defeat me!? Pitiful! Just piti-ACK!”

Alucard had dashed forward with greater speed than before and buried his fist in her gut, grinning as he sent her flying into the wall. Not giving an inch, he closed the distance again and grabbed her head, slamming it into the wall and grinding her face along its length before throwing her through a wall. When she looked up, she might as well have been looking at Tirek himself. “Come on! Get up! Attack me! You’ve only suffered the loss of half your face!” His grinning face appeared from the mass of darkness that had red eyes that didn’t belong there. Especially the huge honking one in the middle of his chest. “Summon up your familiars! Transform your body! Heal your marred face and stand! Come on! Hurry! Hurry! HURRY!!! PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!!! HIT ME!!! FIGHT ME!!! GIVE ME A HUG!!!”

“...” Nightmare Moon whimpered, “R-really?”

“....” Twilight perked up at the sound of Alucard’s mad laughter and the sound of a woman screaming. “Welp. Looks like Alucard found Nightmare Moon. Now all we need to do is find the Elements of Harmony before Alucard tries to eat her or something.”

Pinkie scanned the room they were in, noticing that it was bare save for the weird dais in the center with all the orbs on it. “Hey, Twilight?”

“Yes, Pinkie?”

“Maybe these weird orbs are the Elements.”

Twilight looked at the orbs sitting on the dais, noticing their odd, semi-crystalline sheen and the gem patterns carved into their surfaces. “Well, if nothing else, these are probably our best bet. We should probably get the rest of the girls before Alucard finishes wi-GAH!”

Twilight sprung back as a wall exploded inwards, sending Nightmare Moon’s broken body sailing into the room amidst a veritable eruption of blood, the impact of the Immortal’s body against the opposite wall enough to splatter the nearby Twilight with slightly blue tinged, sparkling blood. On instinct, Twilight licked her lips, tasting the blood. Her eyes glowed with a blue light as she absorbed the blood’s magic. This blood was on the same level as Alucard’s, and she felt even more powerful. Her eyes rolled back as her knees failed her and she fell onto them, hugging herself as her body was wracked by an enormous shudder. A low moan could be heard escaping her throat by attentive listeners.

Pinkie stared incredulously at Twilight, “.... seriously…? Even I know that’s kinda weird, Twi…”

“Shut up and focus on the Elements, Pinkie,” Twilight muttered, her voice carrying a tone of pure orgasmic ecstasy. She didn’t even notice her canines slightly lengthen again, like when she tasted Alucard’s blood.

Pinkie returned to her attention to the Elements, stroking her chin thoughtfully before pulling a surprised Schrodinger in from off screen.

“Wha-how!? Vhat zhe hell, fraulein!? How did you do zhat!?”

“No time to explain, get the girls, Kittyman!” Pinkie ordered, already hefting the stone orbs from the dais and rolling them over to the still dazed Twilight.

“Y-yes ma’am!” Schrodinger skedaddled, popping out in front of Applejack and Rarity, grabbing their shoulders and trusting Pinkie to pull him and his cargo back on screen. He repeated this process with Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, thus bringing all six girls back together.

Rainbow wrinkled her nose, “Did someone just fuck in here or something… and holy crap that’s a lot of blood, Twi you alright?”

For some unfathomable reason, Twilight raised her thumb in the air and mumbled, “Houston, we have noooo problems~”

Out of the hole Nightmare Moon had come through, Alucard stepped, still looking the very image of evil with that eye in his chest and his manic grin. “Well come on then, Nightmare Moon! Stand up! Or was that talk of ruling the world in eternal night just hype?! You little goddess wannabe bitch!”

Immediately, every girl that wasn’t Twilight screamed and backed away from the terrifying visage of Alucard, breaking through Twilight’s daze and prompting her to scream, “Alucard! Restrictions on! You’re scaring the shit out of them!”

Alucard’s eyes widened, the shadows that clung to him retreating slowly as his coat reformed and he resumed a normal human form. “As you command, master. I believe Nightmare Moon isn’t going anywhere for a good while.”

Twilight looked at Nightmare’s groaning form, the blood splattered over the wall, the blood splattered over her, and silently agreed. She turned to the girls who had somehow become her friends over the course of the last two days, “Girls, I get that Alucard is… frightening, but explanations can come later. First things first, we need to figure out how the Elements work. As I recall, there were five Elements: Laughter, Kindness, Generosity, Honesty, and Loyalty. The legend states that the five Elements working together would create some sort of spark, revealing the sixth Element. Though, how to activate these things…”

“Perhaps I can shed some light on their workings,” Alucard said as he kept an eye on Nightmare Moon. He knew that it would require revealing his past sins, but perhaps it was time to share that knowledge. If not for himself, then for his master.

Twilight turned, “Wait, you know how they work, Alucard?”

Alucard sighed and turned to them. “1500 years ago, when I first appeared in this world, I was completely unfettered. Given over to my insatiable bloodlust. Pinkie Pie knows some details, since I confided in her at the welcome party, but I spent three decades running around Equestria. Killing and butchering anyone that I encountered. Whole towns and villages fell to my thirst for blood.” He paused to let them digest this information.

“Alucard… I… What happened after?” Twilight asked, barely able to contain her shock. Behind her, the girls’ reactions more or less stuck to horrified disgust and fear, save for Pinkie, who wore a pitying expression.

“At last I was confronted by Celestia and her younger sister Luna,” Alucard continued. “As I attempted to unleash my full power in order to fight them, they summoned those five orbs there, and unleashed a rainbow colored blast at me. This blast forced upon me all the pain and suffering I had caused. Admittedly, I was driven mad by the agony as I was turned to stone. But I was fully aware as I was trapped and eventually went sane again... Albeit with my sadomasochism.” He paused again.

Twilight covered her mouth in shock, looking at Alucard with tears in her eyes. “Oh Alucard…”

Rainbow was the first to regain her wits, looking green around the gills and more than a little afraid of Alucard, but she still found the courage to ask, “So… how does this help us with the Elements?”

“The Elements themselves are conduits for the virtues they are named for,” Alucard said. “Celestia and Luna together channeled them to harness their power. But in this situation, I see five bearers. A single exemplar for each.”

Applejack spoke up this time, “So… who gets which Element? I mean, I reckon’ Fluttershy gets Kindness, but the others seem a tad random t’me.”

Alucard chuckled. “It’s quite obvious who gets which, Miss Applejack. You, who led your friends through a fog of illusion safely, represent Honesty.” He looked at Pinkie. “Pinkie Pie, who dispelled darkness with her own inner light, and the light of those beside her, represents Laughter.” His gaze drifted to Rarity. “Rarity, who aided a complete stranger and asked for nothing in return, represents Generosity.” He looked to Rainbow. “And Rainbow Dash, who would not abandon our mission for a chance at glory, represents Loyalty.”

Around the five, the stone orbs shattered, the pieces flying over to each of their respective bearers and forming into golden necklaces with color coded gems matching their cutie marks. Over on the side Schrodinger looked down at the golden arm band with a pink balloon sigil replacing his normal Nazi swastika in confusion.

“Vell… zhat’s interesting….”

Against the wall, Nightmare Moon groaned as she got to her feet, blood leaking from her mouth. “You still don’t have the sixth Element!”

Twilight looked at her friends, feeling a warm light beginning to pulse within her as she finally understood the meaning of the “spark”. “Oh but we do have the sixth Element, Nightmare Moon! Maybe I don’t fully understand how the Elements work, but I do know this: These five girls are my friends! And when I realized how happy I was to have them with me, the spark, the spark that creates the sixth Element… it ignited within me! The sixth Element of Harmony… is Magic!”

Nightmare Moon’s eyes widened in horror as she watched the rainbow beam form above them and rush her. “NO!!!” she screamed as she was engulfed by it, feeling the darkness in her soul torn away by the purifying magic of the Elements.

Twilight was the first to awaken after using the Elements, the magic she had absorbed from Nightmare Moon allowing her to recuperate much faster than average. She groaned and sat up slowly, gazing over to where she last saw the Nightmare, only to see a young woman, a teenager, really, lying unconscious in a dark blue dress far too large for her.

Alucard slowly walked toward the young woman and gently turned her onto her back to look into her mouth. Confirming his suspicions, he removed the glove from his right hand and raised his wrist to his mouth, biting it open and allowing blood to be spilled. Holding his bleeding wrist over Luna’s face, he allowed his blood to drip into her mouth. Within seconds, she grabbed his wrist and pulled it to her lips, greedily sucking down the offered blood.

Twilight stared, slightly confused, but also slightly awed, “How… how is she still a vampire? I… didn’t the Elements cleanse her soul or something?”

“That might be the case for a vampire that was sired by a fellow vampire,” Alucard said. “But for those that willingly sacrificed their humanity for power, I doubt even the Elements can cure that affliction. But she has indeed been cleansed. I no longer sense any of Nightmare Moon’s madness within her.”

Behind Alucard, the sun shined in through the hole in the wall, heralding the arrival of Celestia and the reawakening of the other five Elements. Schrodinger, meanwhile, nursed the headache he had received from the Elements pulling away his energy.

Twilight bolted to her feet, rushing over to her mentor, “Princess Celestia! You’re alright!”

Celestia smiled and hugged Twilight, “Yes, and it’s all thanks to you, Twilight. Thank you very much. You’ve done a great service to Equestria today.”

Twilight blushed, “A-ah, well… it… I couldn’t have done it without the help of my new friends…”

Luna perked up at the sound of Celestia’s voice, looking both extremely happy and extremely terrified, peeking out from behind Alucard at Celestia’s radiant smile.

“Luna, my sister… I’m so happy to see you again…. we have so much to catch up on… will you accept my friendship once more?” Celestia stooped slightly, offering her hand to her much shorter sister.

“I… I…. Tia I’m so sorry! Please forgive me!” Luna slammed her face into Celestia’s chest, sobbing and hugging her sister as tightly as she could.

Alucard couldn’t help smiling at the reunion of sisters as he pulled his glove back on, his wrist mending itself. Letting the sisters have their moment, he walked over to his master and her, no… their, new friends. Giving Twilight a small smile, he looked at the other five with a somber look. “I believe there is some explaining to do.”

Author's Note

Yes, the humanized ponies still cutie marks.