CH: 2

---~~~---Mister Cee's PoV---~~~---

One thousand and six years later...

Stomping through the streets, the occasional cobblestone cracked under my suit's immense weight, I ignored the lack of anyone who would normally be out and about on a sunday. My destination clear, Golden Oaks library near the center of Ponyville. My enhanced hearing can barely make out the hushed whispers, my single porthole giving me a clear view of my targets as they walk forward to block my path.

The six ponies who have done nothing but try to take Theresa away from me are lined up and most of them are in aggressive stances. Twilight Sparkle, her friends by her side, looked nervous.

"Stop! What have you done to Scootaloo?" She yelled, I continued forward at glacier speeds. Fifty feet away, she yelled again. "What have you done to Scootaloo?" My programming is kicking in, yelling at me about how she is a threat and needs to be killed, I repress the desire to set her on fire and impale her on both of my drills as I continue on, thirty feet away. She started to get really scared. I stopped twenty-five feet away and just stood there. Rainbow Dash apparently had enough waiting and charges me. I stood there, waiting for the hit that never came thanks to Twilight's quick thinking.

"Lemme at him, I can take 'em." No, you can't. I just stood there, looking at them. She was willing to fight me, me! A Big Daddy, no, a Monster that has killed hundreds ever since it came here, the very same Beast who personally backhanded your Dyke Smurf pony ass into a tree at least fifty yards away. I had to speak, I hoped my groans would be animal enough that Fluttershy will be able to understand me. I gave a single groan and her face shifted to confusion, I continued on with a slightly longer groan and her face shifted once more, this time to one of compassion and caring.

Success!

"Why should we help you?" She asked, with not a drop of anger or fear in her voice, I gave her a quick explanation of what happened and her friends waited patiently, except for Rainbow Dash.

"What did the freak say, Fluttershy?" My porthole turned orange at her words before I calm down, anger management has never been my strong suit. All eyes are on me as I calm down, the six protectors of Equestria prepare for my attack, which never came.

"He needs to find his niece Theresa and Scootaloo, somepony took them." The looks on their faces switched from anger to more confusion at her words, the silence was deafening. I watch as they shared several looks before Twilight stared back at me, a question obviously on her mind.

---~~~---Theresa's PoV---~~~---

I screamed, the entirety of my existence having been smashed into my brain had ruthlessly left me able to do nothing else. The memories of everything I've ever seen, smelled, heard, tasted, felt, said and thought, my entire life had just been reintroduced to me. So I screamed. An interesting fact about being turned to stone, your mind retreats into itself, thus leaving you free to scream without pausing for breath. So I kept screaming.

"Theresa!" A familiar voice called, I turn to my left and ran, somehow crossing a distance that felt like miles in under a second while simultaneously plowing through some kind of resistance, I ran towards the comforting presence of my uncle and lept into his arms, tears freely falling as if I couldn't run out, I found out later that I couldn't, how I tried to cry myself out. "Theresa, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

I cried that day, the day I woke up in stone, I remembered everything I've done and saw over the last three months twice over. One set of memories was seen through the eyes of a monster that could see no evil, and the other a horror story filled with gore and disturbing acts performed by me and Charlie.

I cried that day, and cried almost non stop for the next ten years. He stayed with me, locked in the darkness as he went through the same thought process as I did. I just wanted to wake up in bed, to have never done the things I did, but I couldn't. I couldn't cry myself to sleep, such things like the blissful embrace of sleep eluded me.

I stopped crying a few months before he came, through when I usually stopped, I usually just start again immediately, that time felt different, it may have been my eighteenth birthday, I don't truly know. After ten years of waiting, talking, listening and my uncle promising things, the reason for our awakening from a nightmare of a existence introduced himself. He taught us a few things like how to decorate our new home. He talked to us and always had some little joke to cheer us up on our worse days. He told us that he would do anything in his power to help us.

So we believed him, it turned out that because of what we were, and still were, that we had the ability to go into each other's mind while we were stoned. Charlie laughed when he first said that. Even I smiled through I only did so because I hadn't heard my uncle laugh like that for over a decade.

We decided to build a little one room apartment, based off of my uncle's apartment back home. It was located, if such a word could be used in this context, in my uncle's dive suit's helmet, a single oval window right where his porthole was giving us our only view of a life we were denied. Anything we could want was a simple thought away. Anything but release.

I'll admit, those first couple of decades had more than one wish for death. More than a few bargains and deals for God or the devil. More than one simultaneous success and failure when I'd attempt to kill myself or at least enter the blissful, sleep like embrace of insanity. But I couldn't, there was literally no way to off yourself when you're in your own mind, even less so when your mind and someone else's is as bonded as ours was. As to the attempts to embrace insanity, well my uncle and Mister D kept me sane.

My uncle wouldn't allow himself to go insane or even allow the possibility, he fought to keep his mind so as to fight off my insanity itself. Strange that, my uncle and the god of chaos fighting insanity, you'd think there be battles of will and mental trench warfare.

There wasn't. He and Mister D kept me sane by keeping me company. We made a schedule, I'd learn about everything Charlie knew so that I would be ready for anything, we spent a hundred years just on the nearly seven years of WW2 and its build up, play a game of Fallout where everything was all too real, every now and then we would visit other statues that were either heroes or villains, or in the case of Victory, a legitimate stone Pinocchio that couldn't help but brag and brag. It was what she did, bragged about our monsters' sides being defeated, bragged about how pony might annihilates ape dexterity, even bragged about her dumb ass flag!

Sorry. Needless to say, she was also a sore loser and sucked at our musical competitions. She just didn't have that flow that Charlie had, or my stunning ability to fast rap. The second chance Charlie had, he smashed her bitch ass all over-

Oh, I'm sorry. Well, let's just stop talking about the past and talk about what happened in the past. It started like this...

Nine months before Mister Cee asked for help

Being a statue is, undoubtedly, the worst thing for a eight year old girl to be. But after a thousand years of it, you get used to it. Now and then Mister D comes over and throws a big, cray-zee party. The occasional class field trip is nice, but the cons outweigh the pros, examples include, birds, couples, and...

"Hello my favorite little Adam sucker, and her oversized uncle. Guess what today is, hmm." Discord asked as he walked in, he didn't bother to knock but when he did, it was because it was unexpected. I looked over at him and smiled. You know what's interesting is how I used to look forward to his visits more, but now that I have a thousand years of internal growth, my mentality is much older than the eight year old little girl who was screaming endlessly.

"The start of season two?" I ask.

"Yep! It's field trip day everyone." He replied as he walked over to the fridge and grabbed a couple of beers. He tossed one at Charlie who caught it effortlessly as he got up from the couch. I saw that he was re-re-re-re-re-re-re-rereading The Angel Experiment, one of his favorite series of all time that, oddly enough, involved nothing religious. Handing me one, we popped the tops off and downed our drinks.

Needless to say, you can't get drunk in your own mind, though there is nothing stopping you from enjoying the taste. Apparently, Charlie's memories were why I could even taste the beer. Discord too, who knew that the god of chaos has never once drank the beverage of chaos.

"Damn it Discord, you grabbed Miller Lite!" Charlie yelled as he threw it over his shoulder. Grumbling, he walked past the broken glass and grabbed another bottle from the fridge.

"Hey can you get me some Budweiser?" I asked.

"Sure sure, you and your dad have fucked up taste in beer." He replied as he walked back to the porthole. We stood there drinking beer as we watch the day begin, Princess Plothole-if-she-sits-down-too-fast raised the sun, we whistled and yelled obscenities that if she heard, she would immediately crack us open, crack our skulls and seal us back up. Gardeners trimmed the grass by eating it, landscapers gave our statues a long, long overdue cleaning and we simply yelled and joked at them all morning.

Sometime after lunch, we were continuing as normal, curse this, insult that, ya know? Day to day living. I can finally hear the sound of hooves on the pathway though the statue gardens.

"Here is the statue Fatherhood, based upon the three month reign of terror that the monsters Feast and Beast unleashed, the story behind them is that Feast would consume the blood of ponies and would one day grow up and go through metamorphosis until she ends up looking like Beast. What can you tell from the statue?" Yeah, ever the tall tale telling prick princess, eh Luna. Points for getting one part of it correct. Unfortunately, she still lost points for the whole Nightmare Moon thing.

"Well, I better be going back home. I gotta prepare my big entrance." Discord called as he walked back to the fridge for a bottle. "Try not to be too impatient, okay?"

"Sure sure, see you, Discord." Charlie told him as we waved, looking back out of the window, I noticed that the Crusaders were bouncing with joy.

"Beast has two pointy hooves!" Oh, real observation skills there Applebloom.

"Feast has a large *gulp* needle." Chalk another one up to the CMC everybody, now what's the chic-

"Beast is holding Feast close, like a dad would." Huh, way to go Scoots. Plus twenty to Best Crusader skill.

"Like you would know what that feels like, flightless freak." Oh joy. Now we just nee-

"Yeah, your own parents didn't want you, hay, even this monster wouldn't want you." Three things make me and my uncle madder than anything, and those two just did all three. I just need a little more incentive to drain them dry.

Cra, ack, acK!

"Holy, fucking, shi-" My train of though is promptly derailed by a ton of metal, muscle and failed anger management classes. That and a quick slap to the back of my head that sent my beer flying into the window.

"Watch your language, just cause you're over a thousand years old mentally, does not mean you can curse." He told me with a serious expression.

"Sorry, but seriously, you feel it too, right?" My uncle shook his head as I walked towards the only door in the mental room. I walked out and ended up in a generally nondescript hallway. Both sides of the hallway had doors like ours, simple mass produced doors with name tags.At one end of the hallway was a conference room where everyone meets up every now and then to discuss statue things. How many times your statue was cleaned over fifty years, which birds you hate more than others, telling each other the latest joke that ever guard will tell their partner when they patrol the cells. I'm sorry, decorative arts living statues project. Next door to our room was the dark little room I haven't been in since we made our apartment all of those years ago. Before I left, I turned around and gave him one last hug, I thought it was going be the last time I get to see him without his suit.

Once I got in the dark room, I created a window where my stoned self's eyes were and got a view of Charlie's dive suit covered gut. The cracking sound was louder, I no longer felt like a mouse in giant's clothes, I felt my conscience fill my stone form as it crumbled. When I blinked, I did so out of necessity instead of habit.

"Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon! Apologize to Scootaloo right now, I'm going to have a talk with your parents about this." Honestly, I wasn't really paying attention to Cheerilee, I was too busy smiling at the thought of how I'm going to get those two. Heh, maybe even before my 'Daddy' woke up.

A couple of mumbled apologies were all she got, along with DT whispering something about how Cheerilee will be able to talk to their parents. I slowly turned around and smiled, Charlie's arms still enclosed me, protecting me as well as he could against the rainbow cannon. When I finished turning around, I noticed none of their massive and cute eyes were on me.

Their eyes were on Diamond Turd and Best Crusader who stood nose to nose, I could already feel a smile form. "Hey!" They slowly turned from each other to stare, open mouths and all, at me. "Can I play?" I asked, leaning on Charlie's arms.

Author's Note

Author's Note:
A much improved statue scene and a few minor edits to the beginning. Hopefully, this will be a large improvement over the original. Looking back on it, I'm surprised anyone liked it, let alone how no one disliked it until sometime after chapter three.

Editor's note: Was this not a swell revamp?

Vorohah: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!

Nonvul: Indeed, quite the masterpiece if I do say so myself. And do be quiet, Voro.

Vorohah: My nipples say no to your sissy ways! Bwahahaha!

*sigh* Another day with these idiots...

(Too much?)

[Hell nah!]