Mister Cee's Pov.

"Can I play?"

I swear, the looks on their faces, priceless. In the span of a second, I saw them go from confusion, to dumbfounded, to pure fear. As Theresa looked at them, a playful and innocent smile adorning her face, they slowly started backing up. To which Theresa crawled out of my stone arms, positioned to shield her from the rainbow cannon.

"I just want to play, maybe after that we can go get a bite to eat. Do you know anywhere that serves a good horse delish?" I couldn't see her face anymore, but I could tell she was licking her lips. Surprisingly, most of the fillies and colts didn't look as scared as they were moments ago, too bad it was only most.

"S-s-stay away you freak." After Diamond Tiara said that, I just knew that Theresa would be hurt. Not by her words, but by the nodding of all the other young ponies. Theresa stopped her advance, looking at them, I could tell that they simply were agreeing with the "leader" i.e, the first one to talk.

"What did you say?" The nodding stopped. "No really, what did you say, I couldn't hear you the first time." Don't fall for it, do not fall for it, show me how smart yo-

"You heard her, stay away." Oh, Sliver Shits fell for it. Too bad, I was hopeful that this wouldn't have to happen. I can't say I pity you, because my pity is being used up on your mortician, oh how he'll curse your stupidity.

"Oh, I thought she said something else, something that rhythms with, peak," A collective gasp was shared between the group, I could hear them hitch their breaths. "Or leak." another gasp, followed by the dumbest pair of ponies I've ever laid eyes on (figuratively speaking), stepped forward. Easily competing with that one time I once watched a unicorn filly nearly chase a butterfly off of a balcony, something about it being this rare moth.

"What's the matter, you didn't hear her call you a freak?" Thing One folks, ain't it amazing what falls through the cracks in your local school system.

"Heheh, yeah. Even a monster like you gotta have some sense of hearing, even with those weird ears." And that would be Thing Two, if I could've seen which was which,I'd tell you what they looked like, if only so you could avoid them if you ever got turned into a zombie, in Equestria, in this time period.

Now, from what I could see, Theresa was standing just outside of my vision, from the look of her shadow, she was standing there with her hypo needle propped on one shoulder, kinda like how movies do it. From what I could hear, it sounded like the teacher was one of those whose parents used the stick. I assume it was the standard, "Clean your room, or I'll let Blah blah and Yada yada come take you away," story. Poor thing was hyperventilating, lost control on sight if I had to guess.

"Well?" Theresa said, "Are you just gonna let your students talk like that, to someone that they've just met no less." The poor thing is still panicking, though she seems to be calming down some.

"E-e-everypony apologize, r-right now." A round of mumbled "I'm sorry's" counts for something, right?

"It's okay, but there is one little thing." What are you playing at, Theresa? "I want you four pricks to give me a pint of your blood, the rest of you can get off easy with a cup."

Silence. I don't hear a thing, not the wind, their breathing (if they're still breathing), or the slow cracking sound behind me. Dear god, I created a monster, I'm so, so sorry, Codey, Ryder. I fuc-

Wait. She's laughing, it's okay. I just made a troll. A dark, blood drinking troll.

"Heh, you should see the looks on your faces, fucking priceless." Hmm, no cursing, Theresa. You know how I feel about that. "You, Diamond Tiara, looked like you were inches from shitting yourself, Bwa hahaha. An-an-and you, Silver Spoon, hehe, you looked ready to faint, ha! Not to mention you two morons, dear God, I'm going to die laughing!" Okay, you really need to calm down. "The best part, is I think you would've actually let it happen, Miss Cheerilee, oh hoho, I thought you would've stood up for your students, instead you pretty much went fucking cationic with fear."

CRACK!

Her laughter stopped immediately when she heard that, I slowly stood up, my shadow reaching all of the way to the class's hooves. Theresa slowly turned around and gave me a sheepish smile. I smirked under my helmet and started tapping my foot, making mini earthquakes with each tap.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

"Sorry, I got a little carried away, huh?" She refused to meet my glare when she said that. My yellow porthole light shinning on her face, reflecting off of her yellow, slightly glowing eyes every time she checks to see if I'm still glaring.

"*A little?*" I groaned.

"Okay, a lot carried away." She replied.

I looked from her to the class, all of them were hiding behind their teacher, who were doing a good impression of the statues. I pointed my primary drill at them, they flinched of course, and then I pointed to the exit of the Stone Prison Gardens. I must have blinked, because one second they were there, the next, gone. Pony shaped clouds were all that was left.

"*Come on, let's go talk to Discord.*" I motioned for her to grab my left drill, and we walked down the path towards our savior/eternal annoyance. Once we got there, we were welcomed with the ever loving voice of a mad god.

"You two ruined my big exit." I looked at the imprisoned god of chaos before I decided to test the waters.

"*You can understand me, right?*" I groaned.

"Yeah, what of it?" I nod at his reply.

"*Can anyone else?*"

"Nope, just Theresa and me, everyone else will just get your standard animalistic groans and roars." Hmm, well shit.

"Couldn't you have fixed that, you did remove most of our programming. Which I still don't understand why you did that." I look over at her when she said that, before looking back and adding my two bits.

"*Yeah, two blank slates, and you just turn them back to... well, normal, coloured slates.*"

He was silent for a while, something that's rather rare for him. "I may be many things, but I am not a slave driver, nor am I willing to let two individuals live empty, ghosts of their former lives. I looked through your memories, and what I saw, the viciousness you unleashed on that man, the lack of regret when you were told he would be in a hospital for months, if not years, the fact that you told a man who held your future in his hands that you would've killed the sick prick if those people didn't drag you off, I saw someone who was worth more as a whole, then the splintered monster that you were trapped in. That's why I spent all that time unlocking both of your memories. I realize that I go against the grain that ponies typically enjoy, but not once have I ever killed a pony or any other living creature. Besides, what fun are you two if you both thoughtless beasts." I'm struck speechless by his explanation, no words or groans can truly express my gratitude and slight annoyance. "As to your lack of a voice, never came up. I didn't expect you two to break out and most of the time I was busy with your minds, not your singing career." Still grateful.

"*...Thanks, just, thanks.*"

"You know, you're not as bad as the bimbo princesses like to think." Bimbo? Eh, I'll take what I can get.

"Your both welcomed, now if you don't mind, I have some chaos to spread, ta ta for now." With that, his statute turned into a swarm of mini Discords and flew off.

"I like him." Nodding my head, as well as most of my upper body, I turned towards the exit when Theresa spoke up. "Uncle, Where's my doll, and your plasmids and tonics?"

"*...FUCK!*"
---~~~---

One thousand years ago...

---~~~---
The blue splicer horse blasted me again, whatever plasmid that she has is almost as efficient as the white one's. Grinding my boots into the ground in a vain attempt at finding some traction, I slowly get pushed back. Squeezing my left drill's trigger, I wait for it to max out it's RPMs.

"Surrender foul beast, thou hast surely lost this battle." Growling at her demand, I thrust my left drill in front of me, watching as the plasmid gets dispersed to the sides. At first I was confused at how my drill was able to block against plasmids, but now I'm grateful about its new ability. After all, three days and not once had I dealt with a single leadhead, crossbows seem to the their go-to for range instead. Heck, I've seen twisted mockeries of thugs, brutes, even bird-cat spider splicers. Houdini splicers were thankfully restricted to the horned splicers, and the two winged, horned, brute sized uber-splicers that I'm currently fighting now.

Roaring my fiercest battle cry, I charge her with my drill still blocking the plasmid, my only thought was, 'Big Daddies don't quit!'

She dodged my attack by taking to the air, flying above the strange, brown pillars with the fluffy, green tops. She smirked at me until I wiped it off of her face with my grapple drill, smashing it right into her jaw. I retracted my drill as I head towards the crumpled heap, ready to finish this.

"Luna!"

Turning around, I see the white splicer charging me, I merely charged back. Releasing another roar as my boots shook the ground. She spun around on her forelegs and kicked me in the chest, I responded before she could get her footing by bringing both off my drills down on her hips. Lifting one of my armoured boots, I gave my best at replicating the Bouncer's signature move, on her tailbone. Before I could stomp and cripple her, the blue splicer blasted me with the same plasmid from earlier, my precarious footing sends me flying, if only for a few yards.

"Sister, are thee okay? I slowly got back to my feet, staring at the two splicers in front of me. The strange thing was the blue one was helping the white one up. Sure, I heard the white one say sister, I may be a Big Daddy, but I ain't deaf. If anything my hearing is better than theirs, just being able to hear them though my diving helmet says how different (BETTER AT EVERYTHING!) I am from normal humans.

"hurds, bud we ard vine." Hurt? The crazy horse is far past hurt, she looks like a hockey player.

Wait...

What the fuck is hockey? Why does it feel like something I should know about? Why is there blood pouring out of my nose?

Pushing the strange word (and nosebleed) I know and at the same time don't know out of my mind, I start revving my two drills.

"Let us finish thee's fight sister, thee should focus on finding where thine monster is hiding." With a nod from the blue horse splicer, I realize that she was going to try and find my daughter. Cocking my right arm back, I throw a punch while depressing the second trigger, sending the drill flying towards the blue horse splicer. Only for her to use another unfamiliar plasmid, this one creating a bubble shield.

As soon as my drill hits the strange barrier plasmid that the blue one made, I press the third trigger and yank back to recall the drill before either of them get any ideas. They may be splicers, but even splicers can get a rare idea now and then. Poorly thought out most of the time, but ideas nonetheless.

Charging the barrier, both drills spinning at full speed, I slam the drills into the shield plasmid. At first I thought I wasn't making any headway, until I saw several cracks creeping into my restricted view. After a few seconds, the barrier between me and my quarry shatters and immediately I'm sent flying when the larger splicer hits me with the strange beam plasmid.

Landing next to one of the strange pillars, I start to pick myself up and prepare to attack again when something bounces off of my helmet, I look up at my daughter sitting one of the pillars odd appendages, acting like the rest of the strange pillar only these were parallel to the ground. Her blonde hair framing her face as her glowing eyes look at me with worry.

Looking down, I see a plasmid syringe on the ground, tilting my head back to look at her again, I see her point at the two splicers who were currently walking towards us. I understood what she was implying immediately, with a flick of my wrists, the braces on my arms loosen, followed by both of my drills being thrown to the ground.

"Are thee seeing the error of thou's ways!?" I look at the white splicer horse for a moment before I reach over and grab the syringe in my gloved hand. Looking at it, I see that it has a picture depicting a floating rock and a hand. Telekinesis, not the best for combat, but with the side effects from taking your first plasmid, It'll be enough.

"What ever thou art planning, we shall stop thee!" The only thing I'm planning on, is protecting my daughter, I am a Big Daddy, the king of Rapture, and I. Will. NOT. FAIL!

Standing up, I plunge the needle into my arm, immediately depressing the safety handle and plunger. My heart starts racing. My vision blurs. I can feel the Adam take effect, the feeling is amazing. No wonder splicers are as crazy as they are, this feels great! I'm aware of things shaking, or is it me?

Suddenly, both of my drills start lifting off of the ground, one of the strange brown pillars in front and to the side of the splicers starts shaking violently before being lifted out of the grounds, bits and clumps falling off of it. The two splicers looked shocked.
---~~~---
Shaking my head to clear the memory, I remove my left drill and hang it on a hook built into my armour. I stare at my gloved hand for a few seconds, clenching and opening my hand a few times at the thought of how I truly am a monster.

But who said monsters can't be the good guy now and then. Heck, look at the Frankenstein Monster, in the end he just wanted to protect his creator.

Looking over at Theresa, she apparently was thinking the same thing.

"Uncle Charlie, are we... Monsters?" What could I say? Should I lie to her, tell her the truth? Wordlessly, I reach over and bring her into a one handed hug, mindful of my enhanced strength. She silently cries into my dive suit and I slowly stroke her hair, in all of our years spent talking, this topic never once came up.

After a few moments, we break our hug and she wipes her tear filled eyes. I look around, expecting to be surrounded by the guards, only to see the gardens are empty. Strange for mid-day, but heck, the king of cray-cray is back in town.

"*Come on, we have to hurry if we're going to beat the guards.*" Standing up, she takes my hand and we head towards the castle entrance, a few thoughts running through my head as we approach.

'How the hell are we going to sneak through this place, let alone find Luna's room without bringing a detachment of guards down on our heads? Fuck man, my every step is a miniature earthquake, and its not like my porthole light can be turned off.'

My thoughts are interrupted by a weird hole opening in front of us, I drag Theresa behind me in case of an attack. After a few tense seconds, a couple pieces of paper flew out, followed by the strange rip in the fabric of space closing. Reaching down, I pick up the small, square one while noting the other being a paper airplane with a stamp on it.

Looking over it, I realize that it's an old Polaroid photo, crouching down, I turn it over to show Theresa. The photo was of a girl, a little older then Theresa in some weird pajamas smiling wide with her arms stretched out of frame, likely holding the camera. Blonde with blue-ish eyes, she had an innocent look to her.

Suddenly, a happy, carefree voice speaks up, almost causing me to drop the photo.

"Hello! I’m Lumen, the daughter of Discord! If you… Wait, what side are we on…? Okay! If you’re a good guy then I’ll help you… Oh! And you can’t curse while I’m around, daddy doesn’t like that."

Looking over at Theresa, she beats me to the punch, and cake, "Can you imagine being raised by Discord, Fuc-"

Moaning my displeasure at her choice of words, I look over the photo once more, thinking of how I can turn this interesting child to an advantage.

'If Sun butt is busy with Discord's... Playtime, and Moon cakes doesn't even show up in this episode, then I think the lunar bitch could go for some kid sized chaos of her own.' Smiling at the thought of a new ally, and possible friend for Theresa, I reach over and unfold the paper airplane. Immediately followed by me crumpling it up and handing it to Theresa.

Looking over the once proud airplane of the paper empire, she wordlessly stuffs it into her pocket, before looking at the photo and asking me a question.

"Any ideas on how this thing works?" I leaned over and look at the photo once more, honestly stumped.

"*Hmm, try something cliche.*" She sighed before balling up the photo and throwing it at me, shouting (quietly).

"Lumen, I summon you!"

For a few moments, nothing happened, the photo was still on the ground, no holes opened in mid air. Just as I picked it up and was about to call it quits, I heard a thump behind me. Looking at Theresa's face, I followed her line of sight to see... The same girl in the photo, but with some additions. For one, a brown teddy bear hung onto her neck while… Panting? Then there was those awesome grilled glasses that rappers wear sometimes over a pair of normal, less cool glasses, a glowing pink and a black ring on each ring finger, a Wii remote connected to her right wrist, and a pistol in her left hand. She was laying on her side, arms stretched.
---~~~---

Third PoV, Theresa and Mister Cee, Lumen and Teddy.

---~~~---
Looking at the girl in front of them, Theresa was the first to speak.

"Hi, you must be Lumen, who's that?" She asked, while reaching out to wave at the pair on the ground. Mister Cee kept his eyes on the two, his thoughts kept to himself while trying to determine if they were a threat.

Lumen jumped to her feet, causing her teddy bear to fall with a silent yelp. She pointed the gun at the two, but kept a goofy grin, “Oh, that’s just Teddy! Oh, and nice to meet you two!” She squeezed the trigger, and a flag with the word BANG! popped out.

Mister Cee took a step back when she pulled the trigger, hoping that the gun didn't have any armour piercing rounds, while simultaneously putting Theresa behind him, when the flag popped out, he took a few seconds to collect himself before laughing.

'Of course the daughter of Discord would be a loony toons fan.' He thought.

“Seriously, who are you?” Lumen asked, still pointing the cartoony gun at them. Seeming a bit nervous.

Mister Cee simply shook his head before looking behind him and asking Theresa to translate.

"My name is Theresa, that's my uncle Charlie, we're in need of a little help, do you think you would like to help us get our stuff back from the blue bit-"

Smack.

"Ow!" Looking up at Mister Cee, Theresa could only rub the back of her head while he looked down at her, his yellow porthole light telling her all she needed to know.

"Heh, sorry about that." She then turned back at Lumen.

“I wish I could do that to you when you misbehave…” Teddy sighed. Lumen didn’t even look at him as she pointed her cartoon gun at him and shot the flag into his chest, sending him into a wall. Afterwards, she placed the weapon into her pocket.

"Did, did he just... Talk?" Mister Cee merely looked down at her and replied,

"*After all this time, it's nice to know you can still be surprised.*" He groaned.

Shaking the thought away, Theresa merely repeated her earlier question. "So, who was that?"

Lumen giggled, “I already told you, silly! He’s Teddy! If you wanna get technical, he’s a replica of the Teddy Bear from Among The Sleep, a horror game back on Earth.”

"Oh-kay." Shaking his head, Mister Cee merely passed it off as another assault on his already beaten psyche, whereas Theresa asked another question, "Is he okay?"

Lumen looked towards the wounded bear, “He’s been torn in half, eaten, set on fire, and even thrown into the sun. As long as I’m alive, he is.”

“Unfortunately…” Teddy groaned.

"*Little bear done went through twice the shit I've done, and half the shit I wouldn't ever wish on anyone... Except eaten, I still wish that one stallion was eaten by timberwolves, also that one prick... Hope he's still in a prison where the inmates have a sense of justice.*"

Theresa nodded her head, silently hoping for Big Bubba to be more than a mere scary story. Shaking the thoughts of pain filled screams and concrete motels, she looked back and smiled at Lumen, before walking over and holding out her hand. Lumen took it and squeaked.

“So, who is this ‘Blue Bit’?” Lumen asked.

"Princess Luna, she stole my doll and a lot of my uncles stuff." She replied. Lumen stepped back a bit, eyes wide.

“L-Luna?” She asked, utter fear written on her face.

“Lu, she can’t hurt you here.” Teddy said, walking over as he pulled out the flag. “You’ll just teleport home. And master gave you that ring, remember?”

Lumen shook her head, “R-right,” she said before she disappeared. She appeared on Mister Cee’s helmet, “I can do this!”

Besides the fact that, to him, Lumen might as have well weighed as much as a hat, Mister Cee thought to himself before asking Theresa to translate for him again.

"He said, 'whatever your problem is with Moon cakes, you won't have to worry, he once busted out most of her teeth trying to defend me,' Luna isn't the one he's worried about, even with her sister he was holding them both off with just his drills."

Lumen rubbed her head, “It’s nothing… Anyways, I’m in!”

"Great, as you can probably tell, my uncle isn't the quietest person, so if you can distract the guards, we'll find her room, grab our stuff and meet up somewhere." Theresa smiled, for some reason, she found Lumen to be a nice change of pace, then again, most everything is nice when you can move again.

Lumen smirked, “I can do that in my sleep! Distractions are- er, would have been my middle name if it wasn’t Gwen…” She chuckled, “I don’t wanna talk about that, though… Point me to said guards I must divert!”

Laughing along, Mister Cee turned around and walked up to the double doors leading to the castle's interior, placing his left hand in between them and pushing revealed that the doors were locked. Pushing a little (a lot) harder, the doors flew in, crashing to the ground in front of at least a dozen shaking guards. Looking at them Mister Cee merely groaned, "*Must be Tuesday.*"

Lifting his left boot, Mister Cee gave the floor in the doorway a moderate, to him, stomp, knocking the guards to the ground and leaving a inch deep, boot shaped crater. The guards started yelling and kicking each other in a desperate bid to escape the monster in front of them.

The sight of which made Theresa facepalm, she looked up at Lumen and asked, "Could you keep these punks from reporting this, even if half the castle heard that, they could've been listening to us."

A psychotic smile spread across Lumen’s face, and she jumped off of Mister Cee. “Sure, or my title isn’t Daughter of Chaos!” She grabbed the glasses over her eyes and threw them in opposite directions. They exploded, causing the most of the guards to be blinded. She then started swinging the Wii remote, sending other guards into the air at random moments.

"Is she always this... Playful?" Theresa asked the Teddy bear beside her, watching as some of the guards started going through more and more complex patterns.

“Most of the time. But there is the few occasions like Monday when she’s sleeping all day or Valentine's Day/Hearts And Hooves Day when she’s just plain evil.” Teddy responded. “She hates that day…”

Nodding his head, Mister Cee just turned to his niece and told her to say goodbye.

"Well, it's been... Unusual, but that comes with making friends sometimes I guess. Try and keep her away from the throne room for me." She said, before walking over to Mister Cee and being placed on his head. Mister Cee walked over, careful to avoid the now dog fighting guards, and grabbed one to bring to his porthole. The guard merely fainted before being dropped and replaced with a different one with a stronger force of will.

“I thought we were meeting up afterwards…” Teddy said, “Blegh, whatever. If you do want to meet up after this, just call out Lumen’s name on the photo…”

"Will do, now then, where is Luna's room." She turned back to the shaking guard being held in Mister Cee's hand.

"D-d-down that hall, three stories up, take a left when you get out of the stairwell, but you'll never make it, there's more than enough of us to-to..." Pulling the guard closer, Mister Cee growled and dropped the now unconscious guard on top of his other weak willed brother in arms.

“Seeing as a little girl swinging a controller was able to beat them with very little difficulty, it shouldn’t be a hassle.” Teddy said as he started leading Lumen in the direction that didn’t lead to Luna’s room. Mister Cee and Theresa both waved bye before he turned around.

Walking over the two guards, Mister Cee walked down the hall the guard pointed out. Theresa kept an eye out for anyone who might try and sneak up on them. Reaching a door with a staircase symbol on it, Mister Cee opened the door and growled. 'Had to be wooden, why did it have to be wooden stairs, everything else is carved out off solid rock, but nooooo, the stairs have to be some bullshit weak wood.' He thought as he tested the first step, noting the lack of splinters flying. Testing the next step, he received the same results. 'Must be magic.'
---~~~---
Theresa's PoV
---~~~---
After we climbed the stairs, slowly, we came out in a fancy hallway. Turning right, my uncle proceeded to walk, in the wrong direction.

"Hey, the guard said left, what gives?" I ask.

"*Don't you think he was a little too eager to tell us where to go, not to mention his darting eyes at the end.*" He replied. Thinking back, yeah. Gah, how could I miss a pony telling a lie, they suck at lying.

After a few moments of walking as quietly as possible, we started to come to an intersection at the end of the hall. After he placed me back on the ground, I peeked around the left hallway, quickly yanking my head back.

"There's three guards, standing around and talking in front of a plain looking door." I whispered. Peeking around the other corner, mindful of the guards behind me, I saw two guards standing beside a large pair of dark coloured double doors on the other side from us. "Two more, that must be Luna's room. How do we get them away through?"

Looking back at my uncle, I see him looking down the hallway in front of us. Following his gaze, I see nothing but a few paintings and a flower pot on a pedestal.

"What are you planning on doing?" I silently ask. In response, I watch him lift his left hand and point it at the flower pot, levitate it over a few inches, and drop it on the floor with a smash.

"What was that?" I hear the distinct clip-clop of hooves heading towards us from our left, while my uncle pulls me over to the left side and hides us behind a curtain.

"This isn't going to work, it never works, not even in Scooby Doo." I whisper, my uncle just remains standing behind the see through curtain. His boots poking out from the bottom. The sounds are getting closer, looking through the curtains, I see three pony silhouettes stop in the intersection.

"Hey, did you guys hear that?"

"Obviously, do you see what caused it?"

"Nah, nopony here, do you think this castle might be haunted?" What followed after that were a few tense minutes of them arguing the possibility of ghosts, I was ready to go out there and stab one of them with my hypo syringe just to shut them up.

"What ever neighsayer, I'm going to go grab some food from the cafeteria. Hey, you guys want anything?" Hearing two "yes's" and two "we're on duty's", I listen to the approaching sounds of their hoofsteps.

"I'm telling you guys, this place could be haunted." A male voice said as it's owner walked two feet from our hiding place.

"Whatever, Shadow Chaser, let's just go get some hayburgers." Replied another male voice, obviously annoyed at Shadow for continuing the unwanted conversation. Listening, and waiting, for one of them to shout an alarm, I release a breath I didn't even know I was holding.

Stepping past the curtain, I look up and could easily imagine the smile on his face. "How did that even work?" I ask.

"*Cartoon logic, the 'bad guys' haven't started their master plan yet, so nearly anything they do is nigh undetectable.*" He replied, if groans could sound smug then he's the first to discover how. "*Come on, we don't have much time before someone comes across the pile of guards, assuming Lumen didn't pick up her toys before leaving to find more, and even if she did there's still the destroyed doors.*"

Peeking around the corner, I see the same two guards... Guarding. The symbol on the door is of a crescent moon, declaring to the world, and to two humans in particular, who the room's occupant is.

"So, what's your plan this time?" He doesn't reply for a moment before removing his other drill and placing it on the hook built onto his armour, making him look like some weird quick drawing drill shooter. I watch as he walked around the corner, his hands pointing at the two, still unaware guards.

With a burst of his plasmids and a couple of yelps, the two, possibly deaf, guards flew through the air and slammed throat first into his hands. Bringing them both up to his porthole, I watch as his light turned yellow, then orange. Luckily, both of the guards faint (and piss themselves) from fear before it can turn red.

With a couple of silent thumps, the two were dropped onto the ground, before one got rolled onto his back and the other placed head-to-flank in the sixty-nine position.

"Really? Bad enough all of the ponies we've met so far are scared to death, but that's just too far." I said, though I disapproved of how he treated them, I couldn't really judge him, he was just trying to lighten the mood before we go rob a princess, who robbed us first.

"*Don't judge me... Or my humour.*" He groaned.

Stepping closer to the doors, he pushed them open slowly, and peered in. Stepping around him, I looked in the room and stare. A massive four poster bed to our left with a dozen pillows on the floor next to it and a distinct lump in the middle, three doors on our right, a desk in the back left with one of those chairs that declare to the world, yes, I cost your years salary, several bookshelves behind it and a massive window to the right.

The walls are done in a dark blue colour with the occasional, beautifully painting of some landscape or ocean, all featuring a large full moon. The ceiling is a masterfully replication of a clear summer's night sky. The desk, bed and bookshelves likely mahogany or some other expensive wood, with a simple, yet beautiful gold trim.

Stepping in and breathing in a dizzying mix of fragrances and the smell of... Paint? I looked back at my uncle, who's yet to move from the doorway. Looking over my shoulder, I see that he's, possibly, glaring at the Luna shaped lump in the bed.

"Come on, she once slept through an entire invasion with wedding bells, she'll sleep through you." I whispered to him, slightly covered up by the soft snores coming from the bed.

"*One, that was in the cartoon. Two, that hasn't happened yet. Three, I am an invasion.*" He replied, after a moment though, he stepped through the door and shut it. The only light was the pale yellow of his porthole light until he turned on his mini floodlights. Sweeping left to right, the lights settled on the doors on our right.

Walking over, I proceed to open them. 'Closet, lot's of blue. Bathroom, more blue. Ah, memory lane.'The room I found had a lot of shelves filled with little memories, one was devoted to small stones, mostly dark blue to light purple. Another was filled with seashells and sand dollars, probably called sand bits. In the corner was a large easel with a rough draft of a small town with Canterlot framed by the moon in the background. Looking around, I could tell she valued each and every one of these objects deeply. Looking back, I see my uncle standing in the doorway, his lights all aimed at one of the top shelves in the back.

'Jackpot! I thought. In front of a small army of bottles was a small Mr. B doll. My Mr. B doll with his baseball head, small can strapped to his back and a corkscrew for the drill.

"Come on, let's grab this stuff and go." I whispered, after a moment of waiting, he finally walks over, grabs my doll and hands it to me. I didn't really need it, or want it really. Yet for some reason, the sight of it made me feel better. Sure, buying this stuff kinda made all this happen, but I can't really blame a toy for all of it.

I looked up and saw my uncle grab one of the syringes and inject the disgusting mix into his arm. I watch as he repeats the action until all of the plasmid syringes are empty, followed by him hooking most of the tonics into a small device which immediately emptied each one.

"Did you really need all of those at once?" I asked. He looked down at me, the last tonic held in his hand, brain boost, before answering.

"*We're going to need them soon, I can feel it in my... Do I still have a gut?*" He groaned, I could see what he meant, at least one of them will be used right now, and the others will likely be used several times over the course of our escape. My thoughts were interrupted by a gasp, spinning around revealed a sleepy, yet shocked, Princess Luna with a nasty case of bedhead standing in the doorway.

My ever so elegant and linguistic uncle spoke a few kind words about his opinion of this particular day of the week before ending with a simple, "*I hate Tuesdays.*"

"Where's your cartoon logic now, huh?" I replied, my eyes never wandering from Luna's.

"Huh?" She replied, probably thinking I was talking to her.

"*Pull the other one, it's got bells on.*"

Author's Note

Question, how come none of you did the math back when the drills and stuff was bought, I shorted the Merchant 10 bucks and no one told me, only figured it out when I went through the previous chapters for a quick spell check.

Thank your god(s) for my editor (BlueMoon865) and I'll thank the people who've supported me through the years. More thanks to Brony Parasite for letting Lumen come and play with the guards, some of whom may never recover.

Also, did anyone get the Team HeadKick reference? Point it out if you did, and if you didn't, look up Bioshock THK. First to point it out gets to name the OC that will be the first to not pussy/pass out. If no one does name him/her, I'll probably give them the pony equivalent of John/Jane Doe. I will do it, don't force my hand!