A Mess of Titanic Porportion

"I wonder if I can sell this" I think loudly to myself. The heart shaped crystal gave a soft hum as it vibrated slight in my hands. My attention was more focused on the heart than the stairs, which means I didn't notice the end of the stairs coming up, nor did I notice the door was closed... and I broke through the door, not even noticing. Not even the shards and splinters of wood could tear my gaze away from this complex structure. Only the change in lighting could bring me to think of something else. "I wonder if mason made it down already?"

"SERIOUSLY! HOW TALL IS THIS PACE!"

He probably has. After a while of climbing the stairs back to the throne room, I quickly go and drop off the heart under my bed, and go back to check on mason; who has finally hit the balcony. I alerted a medical team... just in case. "So, how does it feel being kicked out of the mile high club?"

"Command, this is air Ross, when is lunchtime, over?" He sounded delirious. So, in my infinite wisdom, I poked him with a stick.

"Mason, are you alright?" I asked whilst continually poking him. This went on for a couple minutes before I was snapped out of it by someone clearing their throat behind me, and I was having fun too.

"um, is this a bad time?"

"No, I was just examining him with this stick. So, I can pinpoint damaged areas. My diagnosis is that he is fine." I bullshit while refusing to turn around.

"Um, we can come back later if you wa-" for once, I wasn't the one cut off.

"NAY SISTER! We hath come to collect due payment for the injury inflicted by these heathens! We cannot leave now!" Ah, now I recognized the voice, the infamous sunbutt and moona.

"Vell Vell Vell, Princesses, vhat are you doing here?" my tone going full German, and refusing to turn around. Mason... wake up... now!" and as if, on cue, he got up. "Mason, look!" I whisper to him while pointing behind me.

"Ya, ya, no problem" He's still delirious, oh shit, "Just put the hay in the apple and eat the candle"

"...He's had a rough week, lets let him rest, we can talk... later" I say as I slung him over my shoulder and ran straight to his room... where I proceeded to... SLAP THE FUCK OUT OF HIM!

"Ken. ney. stop. slap. ping. me." I gave him one more slap.

"Good, your back. do you know what happened?"

"Um, not really. I don't actually know where I am."

"...What was the last thing you remember?"

"I... can't really remember much of anything. uh, who are you again?" I got ready to punch him.

"Wait wait, I'm just messing with you." I punched him anyway. "Ow, fucker, druv drey hi lost wah dreh tol!" I Continued to jog his memory more, through percussive maintenance. "FUS!" It buffered me... wait, he shouldn't be able to do- "RO DAH!" I was launched back a couple feet, and finally fell on my ass. whyyyy... looking up, I saw mason having a serious coughing fit and the guards running in, lead by Stoic defender, again, good kid, but seriously? Is he following us? thinking quickly, I acted.

"I want the Med room prepped. we have possible damage to the throat and lungs." most of the guards were still standing, but Stoic rushed out. "Go!" They rushed out. I started moving mason to have him lay on his side, as I did so, a bluish purple blood started to drip from his mouth. I held him like this for a few minutes until the medical team came in and rushed him out. "This is going to be a long day, followed by a long week, followed by the death of me."

"We should hope not!" Fuck!. Well, looks like I can't just skip out now. "Thou hast our sympathies, but there ist still the matter of compensation."

"Give me a half an hour." she left after that. I am so inventing Advil here. After collecing my council, consisting of Shining Star, Stoic Defender, some random business pony, goddamnit, and a dremora lord. And like the legend of king Arthur, All who sit here at the table of friendship are welcomed equally. I am glad I made this round table. I looked at the doors, then back to the table, then back to the doors, then back to the table. Fuck!

After finally getting the table to the throne room, and setting it up, I was a little bit hurt at how it is now half as tall as it was. "All here who are present, say aye"

"A-aye" theres miss star to my left.

"AYE!" Stoic to my right.

"I?" The business pony to the far right.

"RRRAARGGHHH!" Close enough, and the dremora lord to the far left.

"Aye." luna next to the dremora lord.

"Present" Really celestia? Couldn't even let me have my fun? And her next to the business pony.

"Now that we are all here, who wishes to begin?" Not even a second passed before luna slammed her hooves on the table. Before she even began, I Yelled back, "Oi, Don't go slamming your hooves on the table." I say as I slammed my hands on the table. Damn I'm a hypocrite. Almost everyone at the table was facepalming, except for the Dremora lord.

"As, we were about to say," She cleared her throat. uh oh. "WHILST IN THY CARE, THE ELEMENT OF LOYALTY AND OUR DEAREST NEICE'S CONSORT WERE GRAVELY INJURED! AND WE DEMAND COMPENSATION FOR THE INJURIES THOU HAS INFLICTED UPON THEM!" Wow, overcompensation much? I quickly patted back down my hair. looking to my left, I saw miss star on the floor, on the right, I saw stoic trying to find his helmet. The business pony seemed to be trying to clear his ears. And the dremora lord? He was inspecting his sword, as expected. then, a thought came to my head. A delightfully awfully wonderful idea. I would start taking like luna.

"We shalt do no such thing, good madam! For it ist not our fault, Nay, it be the fault of thy niece's companions!" My voice somehow, still stayed deadpan. and it was worth it. The look on everyone's face showed their complete shock. It was nice to see Celestia break her poker face, and luna was absolutely giddy. Maybe not the best idea... Thankfully, I was spared.

"Ahem, you say it was cadence and her friends fault, but what she told me does not seem to match up. care to explain?" Sunbutt is back. Through the power of Eeny meeny miney moe, I unfortunately continued.  My trollish side wanted to come out to play.

"Madam Celestia, allow us to rephrase, we dist not say it twass cadenzas fault, merely that it twass of her companions. May we ask to hear what it twass that cadenza said we hast done, word for word." It wasn't really a question. Luna was bouncing in her seat now. By all things holy... what have I done.