A Mess of Titanic Porportion

I awoke with a gasp as the adrenaline pumped through my veins. I could barely move, I heard the sound of footsteps near me and a chain being dragged. After regaining the feeling in my neck, I looked over to the sound and saw some dogs, covered in blood, dragging Stoic and tossed him into the cell next to mine. I strained myself to listen to them.

"Why we keep these? They kill all friends!"

"Yes, but slave very strong. Can carry many gems. And have female! We can breed more since last female died." That's it, I'm killing you first.

They eventually walked away, leaving us all together. I started to regain feeling in my arms, I dragged myself to where Stoic is... and poked him until he woke up.

"No, mom, I don't want to go to school today..." Well, he reminds me of me.

"Stoic, wake up" I poked him again, lower this time... and he jumped several feet into the air. I jammed my hand into his mouth, while shushing him, "We need to be quiet, do you know where the adventurer is? Or Star?" I didn't think eyes could widen as much as his did.

"Wait, Star!? What do you mean-" I jammed my hand back into his mouth, quieting him, "I, don't know. I haven't seen them since the fight. I failed you, sir." Aw crap, not this.

"Yes, you have" He looked downtrodden, "But, you can redeem yourself." If I tell mason about this, I just know he'll make him into an arbiter. "Do you know where the adventurer is?"

"You mean Eagles peak?" Really? Fucking really? That's it, I give up, just kill me.

"...Yes, I mean Eagles peak. Do you know where he is?"

"Yes, last I saw, he was being dragged off with some of the others." Others... great.... forgot about them. crawling over to another cage, I whispered to the pony, wait, is that a gryphon? The gryphon turned its head to me, and I snapped out of my stupor.

"Do you know how many slaves are here?" Really brain? THATS what you came up with? Couldn't have phrased it better? She glared at me and looked away. After confirming there are no guards around, I bent the bars out of my way and limped my way out, "So, you have a number or not... bird." She? Flew up to the bars, and made some unintelligible noise, "Wait, what?" She gave a deadpan stare and opened her beak; where I saw, or more importantly, what I DIDN'T see, was a tongue. Ah, I see. Well, this is awkward.

"There are four slave pens, each with twenty slaves in each." Wait, that voice sounds familiar. Looking towards, the source of the voice, I saw... Nothing? Wait, what? I looked up and down, and all around, but I could not find the source of the voice... until I heard heavy footsteps coming from the cave, followed by a soft dripping sound. One of the bloodied dogs who threw Stoic in here ran past us like the devil was on his ass.

"I WILL FEAST ON YOUR HEART!"  I have never been more glad to hear that voice... until a yellow painted dremora ran after him. Wait, wheres that blue dremora? And where did this one come from?

"I thought you had more sense than to get yourself captured." I continued to stare in the direction, and answered very calmly,

"It was my first time, I didn't know how to properly fight them. Why aren't you showing yourself? You scared? ... Mongrel."

"As you wish" At that moment a large purple vortex opened, and mason walked out... followed by about a platoon of dremora lords.

"So, are you still a liability?" I say with my eyebrow raised. He responded, with a chin flick, haven't seen that one in a while. "Yep, your fine."

"Lets go" he then turned to his dremora and began to order them.

"So mason, where's the blue one?"

"Oblivion, probably." Ah, too bad. He then gave a flick of his wrist, and another vortex open, and Dremora came out. Wonder how his fight went down.

"... you find my helmet?" He looked at me strangely before going back to the dremoras. Its a valid question!.

"Do I even want to know? No, I wasn't looking"

"Well, I'm off on an epic quest to find my helmet."

After several hours of exploring the catacombs and revenge-filled slaughter, I exited the cave, my head held high, helm resting upon it, prisoners dragged behind me, and a corpse tied to my belt. Mason took one look at me, and asked stoic to facepalm with him. And in my infinite wisdom, and peerless wit, I asked, "What?" And they facepalmed again. "So, you find the old warhorse yet?"

"What's a horse?"

"No, and also." He walked right up to me, and punched me so hard I fell over. "WHAT IN OBLIVION WERE YOU THINKING BRINGING A MAID WITH YOU!" Rubbing my visor, I replied.

"Well I didn't think we would be attacked this close to the empire!"

"What use do you have for a maid when looking for a cave!" I got up.

"Well, she's the one carrying the supplies." Mason punched me again... and I fell over... again.

"As of right now, we have two ponies MIA on your watch. YOU will be the one writing their families for this." I nodded.

"I know." He seemed to calm down.

"Come along, I think we left the princesses alone for too long."

"We still looking though the cave?" I say as we start to walk away.

"I'll send several squads of dremoras to comb the cave and the surrounding areas." Fair enough. It was about an hour of walking before we abruptly stopped, "What this time!" Looking to the empire I saw it covered, by a magic dome. They found the heart... they snuck into my chambers! Those primitive horses, I will mount their tails above my fireplace!