A Mess of Titanic Porportion

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Stop staring at me"

"..."

"You smell like piss, So I have to wear a mask"

"..."

"You try going from an inability to smell to that of a dogs in 1.38 seconds."

"that mask is the worst thing I have ever seen"

"Screw you"

"No thank you" he fipped me off

"Either way, did you figure out what era we are in?"

"They've been out of the loop for a thousand years, what do you think?"

"I thought so. So we have no idea whether to watch out for Sunbutt and moona, or Shinning plothole and the princess of merchandising."

"Wait, What?"

"Inside joke." bullshit, I got that instantly.

"Wait, Why princess of merchandising?"

"I Don't like her."

"..."

"Well, for one, shes pink. Two, she has a heart on her ass. three She showed up for no reason. Four, She got captured with little resistance. five, shes a princess for no reason. six... shes pink" I just looked away. "Go wash your damn armor."

"Alright, now I can breathe without a mask," I wanted to shoot him so badly, "Now put on your fancy clothes, our coronation is in three hours, and try to get your shrink machine working"

"Wait, coronation, when did this happen?" Probably when he was alone in the throne room with all the other ponies... wait  when he was alone in the throne room with all the other ponies... "Mason, Molag is still held down, right?"

"Yes, I am still in charge, and it happened when you were away. Also, they said something about sombra still being a crystal pony and some burial tradition. just for the record."

"So, your going to become king huh?"

"Well, my title is still prince so... Just call me 'my lord'. I managed to pull some strings to get you as prime minister."

"I see, I'm going to get most of your paperwork, aren't I?"

"Only the stuff that I am indecisive about. also, here's the law book." Shit.

"You told me there wouldn't be any cameras."

"And you told me you were going to wear something nice." goddamnit mason

"This IS nice, it covers everything!" I Whisper/yell.

"If I have to wear pants, you have to at least take off your helmet." I took it off and gave a small smile as we walked onto the stage.

After a few minutes of preface and ceremonial bullshit, I lost my patience "Get on with it!" Mason and I Yelled out simultaneously.

"Ahem, may our new Leaders step forward" We did. then mason did something... unexpected. He kneeled, and bowed his head. "I now name you, Mason of house Wallace, King of the Crystal Empire!" He said as he place the large makeshift crown on his head. Mason then stood up and stepped back, where I walked forward. I kneeled and took a very low bow, close to the floor. "I now name you Kenneth, of house Tran, Prime Minister of the Crystal Empire." I Stood and walked back next to mason.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Mason, stop hitting me!"

"I cant help it, I'm bored."

"How about you do your-" he cut me off

"Wait a moment!" He jumped up and stood next to me "...Kenny?"

"Yes?" Whats wrong?

"Why are you taller than me?" Wait, What? I looked down, and he was smaller than he should be. I thought something was wrong.

"Mason, are you shrinking?"

"It could be possible, daedra are creatures of change, and there has been cases..." he began to ramble. so, to fix this, I did the only rational thing in this situation. I slapped him. And sent him flying across the room. Fuck!