Fahrenheit

by ProbableSarcasm

Negative Zeo Degrees

Previous Chapter

The cold snow crunched under Trixie’s hooves, her own trot of shame around the town as she was constantly passed by other ponies that are, yes Trixie hated to admit it, much faster than her just by walking normally through the thick snow.

However, that won’t stop the determined Trixie from trying to find her wagon and haul herself out of Ponyville, maybe even out of Equestria. Trixie refused to believe anything that has happened today, it was either a very haunting nightmare or Twilight must be huffing something.

Trixie does not want to be here.

At all.

The cold snow bit at Trixie’s hooves and her body sharply, running shivers up and down her body, (and if it was possible) leaving goosebumps under her coat; Trixie didn’t bother grabbing a coat after she was done vomiting her internal organs out of her body, because she wanted no trace of Twilight Sparkle on her.

Trixie was going to find her wagon and leave, never return to this town, never look at this town on the map, avoid Canterlot like the plague, move to the Griffon Empire, use every memory spell known to equestrian kind, and drink until she completely left her liver useless. Burn everything with the words nut and meg from here on out, and never ever bring up Twilight Sparkle until she died.

Sudden warmth dripped down Trixie’s foreleg, then stinging pain.

Trixie had tripped over a hidden root and fell snout first into the snow, well the majority of the snow was more like ice now.  Trixie’s head didn’t bounce off of the ground, but instead proved that she had one big hard head.  Trixie’s nose felt like there was fluid built up in the center of her nose, her eyes watered but the tears dared not leave her eyes.

Trixie pulled herself up, the chill of the snow completely took off any and every body heat that was offered.  The only warmth was the blood that dabbled out of the cuts on her left foreleg and cheeks, she had cut her face on the ice and it stung. Trixie’s right hoof touched her nose, then she looked back at it and grimaced.

Blood.

It wasn’t much, but Trixie hated blood.

Upon inspection of her surroundings, Trixie concluded she was in Applejack’s frozen farm. The trees holding Iced Apples, which Trixie found completely against her own little form of logic.  The apples looked like the Crystal Heart, but more or less in an apple shape.

“Trixie finds magick stupid,” Trixie thought out loud, flopping back into the snow. Trixie burrowed herself into the snow, wrapping herself around in whatever soft snow there was.  Trixie didn’t feel like moving anymore, her own laziness over-ridding her logical mind.

It makes no sense, but Trixie wasn’t thinking rationally.

There, Trixie was laying on top of ice and slowly being layered in snow.

Now, any pony with a nervous system would be screaming at Trixie to get up and keep moving, or be calling Trixie an idiot for staying outside in the coldest June ever; the simple solution to the complex equation why Trixie was just lying there in the icy was Trixie enjoyed it. In fact, Trixie loved it since she was a filly suckling on her mum’s teat.

Trixie was always a sucker when it came to cold temperatures, which is why she got extremely sick as a filly, which answered why Trixie had such a strong and resistant immune system. Trixie loved the cold, the colder the better. Trixie didn’t know why, but she finds herself sensually attracted to the white coldness that was the weather.

‘And to think about all those times Twilight told Trixie to take a cold shower, heh…’

‘Wait, what times?’

Trixie shook her head, the pounding headache of the hangover returning. Trixie burrowed her head deeper into the snow, her eyes clenched close in pain. Trixie has had a hangover before, but this one takes the cake. It feels like someone ripped out a piece of her brain and replaced it with a shock collar that ran on the beat of her heartbeat; Trixie sniffled, the blood and cold affecting her in her nose quickly.

Trixie sneezed, shooting blood all over her.

“Oh, this is going to be a great day for Trixie,”

Trixie gingerly picked herself up, shaking the snow off of her. Trixie groaned at herself, she looked at her chest with disdain. The blood was still fresh and it sunk into her coat quickly, changing from warmth to a chilly form. Trixie wanted to burn her body.

“Y’all alright there, sugarcube?” Applejack had watched Trixie sneeze blood on herself, a mischievous grin on her face. Applejack came from the corner of a tree, and made Trixie squeal from sheer terror. Applejack didn’t take too kindly to Trixie’s last appearance when she had boasted about the Ursa Minor, or Trixie’s retaliation.

Or Trixie in general, as far as Trixie remembers. “You look like you just killed some pony, Trix’, heh!” Trixie flinched at the nickname, seems like Twilight wasn’t afraid to share the slanderous insult around.

Trixie glared sharply at Applejack with a scowl, Trixie already has a lot on her mind like leaving this place. Applejack didn’t notice the glare, but she guffawed at Trixie’s recovery from her shock.

As far as she remembers, Applejack didn’t enjoy Trixie’s visits to Ponyville, much less to pones trespassing on her farm, so why is she calm around Trixie right now?

Especially the Alicorn Amulet ordeal, even after Twilight announced that the Alicorn Amulet took control of Trixie’s mind, Applejack always had that look of retaliation that sparked a hidden deep sort of… fear in Trixie.  Trixie feared what this simple Earth Pony could potentially do to her, given how she’s the Element of Honesty.

Even though Trixie could kill her in twelve ways with her eyes closed, being a unicorn and all and at least grasping battle magick, Trixie’s career built upon exaggerated stories which were too close to lies. However, the lies that Trixie told Twilight will fall back onto her, Trixie may be arrogant but she’s far from stupid.

Trixie’s watched way too many plays, too many books, too many relationships that were riddled with lies, revolved around these webs of lies that eventually lead back to the protagonist to crush them in the head and bite them in the flank. It always does, and Trixie can vouch for it entirely.

For a couple of minutes, Applejack slowly calmed her chuckles at Trixie’s reaction to being stalked and snuck up on. Trixie, on the other hand, was trying to rub the blood off of her face with vigor now. Anything to get the loathsome fluid off of her face, and for the most part: all her actions resulted in bloody snow and an irritated nose that bled more.

“Hardy-harr-harr, your ability to stalk Trixie both scares Trixie and amuses Trixie,” Trixie remarked, scooping up some snow to wipe the rest of the vile and disgusting blood off of her face.

“Ah thought you stopped doing that whole ‘Great an’ Powerful’ Trixie hogwash a week ago, Trix’,” Again with the nickname, Trixie scowl went even further down her chin as her face scrunched up. (Is it too much for these ponies to address Trixie as Trixie?)  Applejack placed a hoof to her chin, deep in thought. “Ya alright there? You didn’t seem to mind when ah called ya Trix’ during the Grand Galloping Gala a few weeks ago…”

“A... W-weeks ago? G-gala?” Trixie raised her eyebrows, but quickly fixed them. Trixie compulsively lied again, feeling backed into a mental corner again. If she said none of that happened, it would lead back to Twilight, then Trixie’s lies will go back to haunt her as the truth betrays her. Also, someone doesn’t just stop loving someone after the Gala.  “Right, I remember now.”

Trixie actually didn’t, and the lie betrayed.  Trixie had unknowingly had panicked slightly and it bled into her sudden, forced high pitched voice to play off as nonchalant. Trixie’s left eye twitched when it donned on Trixie that she had addressed herself in first person, it was obvious she lied and Applejack’s eyes seem to dim in suspicion; the ‘southern hospitality’ seemed to fade away with every syllable of her next sentence.

“Is that so, partner ?” It was Applejack’s turn to raise her eyebrow, her hospitality faded with the last word.  This word was simple, so simple, yet, it was root of all of Trixie’s problem and what made her all throughout the morning so far.

“Come again?” Applejack leaned closer to Trixie, her eyes like kryptonite while Trixie was feeling like Super-mare.  Trixie felt herself back into the tree that she tripped over, she pressed against the tree, and Trixie’s mind froze over when Applejack slammed her left fore-hoof beside Trixie’s ear. “Ya wanna try that again, partner, and fix yourself before Ah ruin the good mood Ah was in?”

Trixie forgot the whole Element of Honesty bollocks, honestly, Trixie hadn’t given that Elements of Harmony thing for a while. Or, maybe, at all.  It’s never been on Trixie’s mind, but she immediately marked it in the back of her mind. It belonged there and it should never move again, so help Trixie if she forgot about the Elements of Harmony again, she’ll eat her own hat and cape.

I… uh…. Well… Trixie… ” Trixie stammered, trying to respond. Okay, maybe she overstepped her capabilities of fibbing, but this is easily fixable if Trixie can formulate the correct words to rebound herself from this mistake. “Well… Trixie had a bit to drink that night…”

“You told Twi’ you’d stop drinking a week before that, Trix’,” Applejack towered over Trixie, Trixie basically sinking into the near frozen tree. Applejack had both hoofs on the tree, both of her hooves planted firmly into the ground. Trixie took this moment of complete submission to accurately size up Applejack and notice how much muscle she actually had.

“I lied,” Trixie fidgeted, her fore-legs hooves rubbing each other to generate a little heat. The awkward tension that hung in the air right now made her feel uneasy, the unwanted static between the two mares was multiplied in volts. Trixie cleared her throat and picked up the third person act once more. “Trixie was annoyed with Twilight… so Trixie said whatever she had to do to get Twilight off of her back.”

“Ya don’t sound entirely too confident in that answer,” Applejack’s eyes narrowed, they seemed shadowed by her Stetson hat. Applejack studied her face, and Trixie felt the same trapped feeling she felt when Twilight was on top of her. Trixie doesn’t like being trapped, it sends the feeling of hopelessness up and down her chest and upper spine. “Ya sure about that?”

Applejack’s body overall body wasn’t entirely muscular, wasn’t fat either, but the muscles of Applejack placed her in the just right in Trixie’s book. Applejack’s stomach was toned, not flat because of a healthy appetite, but not pudgy due to her hard work. Trixie snuck a look at Applejack’s hooves and the thighs before them, the hind-legs looked hard as crystal and the thighs look even harder.

“Absolutely,”

Trixie’s head screamed, her horn tingled in the sensation of magick charging for a spell. Trixie was already thinking about the spell for her disappearance act, and her ego was begging for a dramatic escape from the Truth-Incubus that was Applejack. Applejack’s eyes narrowed at the lie Trixie just flubbed out.

“Ah think you’re a goddess damned liar, Trix’, and Ah’m up to here with your fucking fibbin’!” Trixie flinched as the swear amplified the tone of Applejack’s voice, Trixie’s eyes grew in size slightly, her ears flipped backwards as the sheer pissed look on Applejack’s face burned this thought into Trixie’s mind:

Never Lie to Applejack

The pissed look on Applejack’s face faded quickly as she saw the terror flash in Trixie’s face, Trixie assumed the idea of showing off her fear wouldn’t be the stupidest idea in the world right now, as to avoid a livid Applejack.

“Ah’m sorry…”Applejack backed away, holding her mouth like she just lost twelve pints of blood from her gums alone.  “Ah’m still getting used to keeping mah cool in check, Ah let mah fuse blow, and Ah should have been more respectful of your personal space.”  She lowered herself back onto four hooves and cleared her throat, turning herself around, and paced a few steps away.

“I… uh… oh…” Trixie picked herself up, her heart racing a million miles per second. Trixie considered her disappearing act seriously now, a race for the wagon quickly and violently now. The faster she gets the hay out of this town like a bat out of hell.  “Trixie’s s-sorry for lying, Trixie guesses…”

“C’mon, let’s get you all cleaned up,” The acidic suspicion behind Applejack’s voice burnt Trixie’s ears, and the tightness in Trixie’s gut returned. It was like a heated metal pincher rose from Applejack’s eyes, stabbed Trixie in her abdomen and then twisted it like a cotton candy machine. “Then you’ll tell me what’s on your mind, got it?”

Trixie’s stomach growled loudly, causing an embarrassed look on her face to rise. Applejack’s look of hostility eased itself off slightly and replaced with, instead, a smug look.  “Uh, is it too late for Trixie to pay for an apple?”

“Ah don’t know, you goin’ and lie ‘bout the bits?”


Trixie had long finished washing herself, but she stood there in the shower, letting the icy cold water wash down her neck and slither down her spine. Trixie’s hair plastered down onto her snout and face, and she moved a hoof to wipe it away, and then placed it back firmly on the wall. She stared into the wall again, letting her mind rewind the situation that had transpired from waking up to right now.

Trixie had lied to Twilight Sparkle, who was a princess, and somehow completely blanked an entire month’s worth of a sexual relationship.  Now, Trixie was no stranger to heavy drinking, or blacking out from that last shot of vodka, but even the best of alcoholics know that an entire month just doesn’t slip a mare’s mind.

Especially not Trixie’s brilliant mind.

Trixie kept pressing her mind, squeezing her brain for any juice on any explanation. She absolutely refused to believe that she had a relationship with Twilight, not for a month, there was just simply too many holes in that supposed ‘reality’.

First of all, Twilight Sparkle had successfully managed to sicken Trixie to induce vomiting in one morning. It wasn’t anything regarding Twilight had done to Trixie during Trixie’s first run in Ponyville, and it definitely wasn’t the second visit either. It wasn’t personal, Trixie didn’t exactly hate Twilight, it’s just that she would prefer it if she spaced herself as far as possible from her.

Trixie just felt too tense next to Twilight, too many feelings clashed in her chest, her head, and the mentioning of being a lover just seemed too real for Trixie to swallow. Too many questions wracked Trixie’s brain, her mind deeming it impossible that she could just excuse her brain from reality for an entire month.  It doesn’t connect to the bigger picture, but then again… what was the bigger picture?

The bigger picture.’ Trixie thought, ‘There has to be a bigger picture… there has too…

One night, Trixie goes into her mini-fridge and pulled out a bottle of booze, gin specifically. She takes a couple of shots with ice and juice, that should tone down the effects of the alcohol, while writing script for her new show that’s scheduled in…

‘Where, exactly again?’ Trixie lifted her head and let the cold water pelt her face once more, her brain had started to pound again. The dry taste in Trixie’s mouth returned, despite her filling her cheeks with water and spitting the liquid out, and the static mind returned. Trixie rubbed her eyes, in an attempt to dissuade the upcoming headache.

Secondly, and possibly the most important, the date; The Grand Galloping Gala happens in July, it’s always been that way for as long as Trixie’s been in diapers. Today would mark the Twentieth of June, and it would be silly to argue that. It didn’t make sense now, and it will never make sense from now, to tomorrow, to ever.  Trixie Lulamoon has never been to the Grand Galloping Gala yet, and she doubted she will ever get to be invited to one in June.

This had to be some sick prank, something just wasn’t adding up for Luna’s sake, it just doesn’t make sense. Trixie does not wake up in an Alicorn’s bed, in the one town she tries to avoid, hooves tied, and the one mare Trixie doesn’t want anything to do with wearing a collar and tied to the rope that tied Trixie’s hooves, to taking a shower in Applebutt’s farmhouse.

So if there were any questions Trixie had to ask Applejack, it had to be the one that plagued her mind the most.

Number One: What is the date?

Number Two: How long has Twilight Sparkle been in a relationship with Trixie?

Number Three: Why doesn’t Trixie love Twilight, if it’s been so long?

Final and Fourth: Has it really been a month that they been in a relationship? If so, how much did she loose of her memory?

Trixie finally turned off the water, the ventilation heating of the bathroom clashed with the chills on her body. Trixie growled at the vents audibly, she didn’t mind the heat all but Trixie thought it would be better if she just felt as comfortable as possible now. Trixie grabbed the nearest towel from the folded stack of rags that was the either the towels or washcloths.

Trixie grabbed the first one that looked right and dried herself off, allowing the heat of the bathroom to assist in the evaporation of the cold water. Trixie already missed the feeling, but on the other hand, at least the disgusting liquid that was blood was clensed off of The Great and Properly Confused mare.


Trixie had her fill of Iced Apples, to which Trixie refused to logically believe existed. There’s a special place in Trixie’s mind that will hold as a trophy to prove she can see a solution out of every problem that isn’t magick, if she had one.

“Alright, Trix’,” Applejack has definitely seemed to have cooled down from the encounter outside, given by the amount of generosity she has shone by supply Trixie with hard cider and consumables. Applejack quickly picked up how much alcohol Trixie is able to hold, by the fact that one bottle of her hard liquor was half empty and Trixie looked just fine. So Applejack managed to get the proof that seemed like apple flavored pure alcohol.

“Trixie appreciates the informality, and she wishes to keep it, but please drop the nickname,” Trixie pleaded, taking another sip of the pint. Trixie did want to keep manners with Earth Ponies, because it’s Applejack’s house, so Trixie didn’t use her magick to levitate the pint. Trixie will wait until this weak liquid will actually leave a dent in her coordination.

“As long as ya stop that ol’ stupid third pony nonsense,” Applejack waved her hoof in a circular motion, her eyes dim with exhaustion even though it was still early in the morning. “It’s really arrogant, and the more Ah hear of it: the more Ah want to put my head under a buffalo’s stampede while hogtied and on a spitroast.”

“That’s oddly specific,”

“Right, so Ah guess Ah’ll start with the biggest question,” Applejack quickly started, and ended that discussion as she took a sip from her own glass and set it back down. She completely ignored Trixie “Why did ya lie to mah face?”

“Ignoring the oddly vivid remark, right,” Trixie found this question easy, so she gave an easy, yet truthful answer. “I lied because, well, the truth is much stupider than you think.”

Applejack snorted, her smirk seem to radiate smugness. “Try me.”

“I have the worst hangover ever, and I found Twilight’s advances this morning a little… uh…” Think, think. How can she say that Twilight is unsexy in the nicest way possible? “Sickening.”

“You. Twilight. Didn’t had early morning rump?” Applejack had a humorous glint in her eye, almost a dangerous smile on her face that has formed. “Explains why she’s being a little off her rocker, a little cross, maybe cause ya didn’t set off her on the ‘right path’ if ya catch the drift.”

“Twilight was crossed? She seemed pretty understanding when she left…” Trixie rubbed her chin, “Also, pretty disturbed by the ‘drift’.”

“She does that sometimes, you out-a anyone in this town should know that she don’t rightly say those kind of things directly!” Applejack mused, toying with Trixie’s memories. Trixie masked a smile, to layer on top of her look of confusion and denial.

‘Do I?’

“Alright, Ah believe ya,” Applejack mused, “Next question--”

Nieght!” Trixie cut her off quickly, taking this chance to leap at the opportunity for her first question. “One question, I didn’t see any sort of clock before I left.”

“Okay, partner, fire away,”

“Do you know what time it is?”

“Twelve Ten,” Applejack looked at an analog that was resting above the stove, hanging on the wall.

“Uh… date?” Trixie asked simply, too afraid to bleed anymore confusion.

“Drink that bad, huh?” Applejack made a chucking noise with her tongue, Trixie masked a toothy smile. “Thought you’d be sober, eh, it’s your relationship not mine.”

“Every marriage is built on lies, some of them necessary to keep one going, I guess,” Trixie took a sip from her drink, she looked back to Applejack, whom didn’t seem to agree with that philosophy but didn’t express through her actions. Trixie raised an eyebrow and waited for Applejack’s reply, the unneeded tension starting again.

“Ah guess Ah’ll give lies that one, necessary of two evils,” Applejack seemed to flush down whatever vile came up her throat from just that sentence. “The truth, for something like being an alcoholic, or a relationship that is fairly active.”

“You’re drunk,” Trixie blurted out, she mentally wracked her brain because of that, it was the complete incorrect thing to say.

Applejack chuckled, “Says the drunk.”

“Feeding an alcoholic’s addiction, when did you turn to Rarity?” Trixie mused, taking another sip.

“Ah felt like it was only proper, Ah’m already invading your privacy, might as well get ya a drink,” Applejack shrugged, leaning back into her chair. However, the smirk and smile never left her face, and it made Trixie smile to know she just conned a living lie detector into fueling Trixie’s need for a drink right now.

“For that answer?”

“Ah believed it was the twenty-first of July?” Applejack mused.

Oh fuck,”