After ten minutes, the Mane 6 and I returned to my dining room table, ready to begin the next round. As we sat down, I reached for the next black card. However, once I saw what it was, I knew it wouldn't make sense to use it. "Nah, let's not use this one," I said while reaching for the box on the floor and putting it inside.

"Wait. Why?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"This card's about a nudist colony, but given that you guys don't really wear clothes, I don't think it makes sense to use it because, not to be judgmental or anything, but your answers might not be that great,"

"He's right," Twilight said to her friends, "Let's just go with the next one."

"Will do," I replied while reaching for the next card. "Ha!" I exclaimed, "This one's so much better! You won't believe these 15 hilarious _____ bloopers!"

"Wow!" Rainbow said whilst laughing, "That is better! And I'm gonna win for sure!"

"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure, Rainbow..." Twilight replied, slyly.

"Oh yeah??"

"Mmhmm."

"Well then, it's on!"

"Alright you two, settle down," I replied while chuckling, "We're ready now. Anyway, you won't believe these 15 hilarious coat hanger abortions bloopers!"

Nearly everyone in the room made some noise of displeasure upon hearing that card. "Oh, how disgusting!" Rarity exclaimed.

"You won't believe these 15 hilarious sweet, sweet vengeance bloopers! Nah. You won't believe these 15 hilarious wearing an octopus for a hat bloopers!"

"HAHAHAHA!!!" Rainbow laughed, "Who would do that?!?!?"

"You won't believe these 15 hilarious double penetration bloopers!" I nearly fell backwards after reading that, all while hearing laughter all around me. "You won't believe these 15 hilarious three dicks at the same time bloopers! Are you kidding me?!?!?!?" I shouted. This time, I actually did fall backwards. "What are the odds?" I said after getting back up. "You won't believe these 15 hilarious pulling out bloopers!" I had to laugh once more. Most of these were absolutely perfect, and I didn't want to choose only one. "You know, as great as three dicks at the same time was, I gotta go with coat hanger abortions."

"WHAT?!?" Rainbow yelled.

"Yee-haw!" AJ exclaimed before I handed her the black card, "I didn't think I'd win after three dicks at the same time!"

"Well, yours was a bit more graphic, and abortion bloopers, if there are any, don't end well."

"I think you're right."

"Okay, let's see what's next," Twilight said, "_____: Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for _____!"

"Oh my," Rarity said, "There should be no reason for this one not to win!"

"I beg to differ," I responded.

"Looks like we're ready," Twilight continued, "The secret formula for ultimate female satisfaction: Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for a 12-way!" Another custom card. Twilight's eyes went a bit wide. "Well...that certainly makes sense. Mistaking shit for chocolate mousse:" Another custom. "Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for preteens! NNNNNGH... No. Not being sure what to do under the covers:" Yet another custom. "Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for never having sex again."

"Wow," Rainbow said, "That's perfect and sad at the same time."

"Warm, velvety muppet sex... What?"

"They're a series of famous puppets," I said.

"Oh, okay. Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for swiftly achieving orgasm? Uhhh...maybe. The unbelievable world of mushrooms: Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for not believing in giraffes? I don't think so. A time travel paradox: Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for generally having no idea what's going on. Actually...that kinda works. Regardless, I think I'll go with the 12-way."

"Splendid!" Rarity said in a high pitched tone. "I say, I think I'm gaining on you, Rainbow! You had better step up your game plan if you want to beat Twilight!" Rainbow only growled in annoyance.

Applejack inhaled deeply as she looked at the next black card, and we all went silent. "Everybody join hands and close your eyes," she began, almost in a whisper, "Do you sense that? That's the presence of _____ in this room."

I didn't have anything decent, so I just threw one in at random. Everyone else was silent as they put their cards in, although I really wasn't sure why.

"Okay," AJ continued, a bit louder this time, "Everybody join hands and close your eyes. Do you sense that? That's the presence of a brain tumor in this room."

"Oooooooo..." Rainbow said, not looking too happy.

"That's the presence of a power level of 8,999 in this room." Another custom. "Uhhh...what's this referrin' to?"

"I'll explain later," I replied, "But it does have to do with people/superheroes."

"Okay. That's the presence of grandma in this room."

"Ha!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Nah, I'm around Granny Smith all the time. That's the presence of bio-engineered assault turtles with acid breath in this room."

"Oh my..." Fluttershy said.

"That's the presence of a reason not to commit suicide in this room. Ummm...need a little more than that. That's the presence of poor life choices in this room. Boy, these weren't all that great. I think I'll go with a power level of 8,999, based on what you said."

"YES!" Rainbow exclaimed, happy to be one awesome point away from being tied with Twilight.

"Awww..." Fluttershy cooed as she looked at the next card. "This sounds sweet. Roses are red, violets are blue, I think of _____ when I think of you." Another custom black card. I looked at one particular card in my hand that I knew would be perfect, though it may make Fluttershy, or for that matter, all six ponies, a bit uncomfortable. I threw it in, anyway.

"Okay," Fluttershy continued. "Roses are red, violets are blue, I think of a lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint when I think of you. Ewww... I think of... a sea of troubles when I think of you."

Most of us went, "OOOOOOOOOO..." upon hearing that card.

"I think of...f-f-filling a m-man's a-anus with c-concrete...when I think of you. Oh...oh my, no thank you."

I watched as all the ponies cringed at that card. They were doing exactly what my other friends did when they first saw that card. "Oh, why?!?" Rarity wailed.

"I think of a smiling black man, a latina businesswoman, a cool Asian, and some whites when I think of you." I laughed. "I think of some douche with an acoustic guitar when I think of you."

Both Rainbow and Pinkie started laughing. "I can't believe you actually said that, Fluttershy!" Rainbow said, "HA!"

The yellow pegasus paid no mind to her friend's comment. "I think of rabid pencils who chase people when I think of you." Probably one of my less popular customs. It was just a weird idea I had. "Hmmm...I know this sounds horrible, but I'm going with a sea of troubles."

"SWEET CELESTIA, YES!" Rainbow Dash shouted as she took the card from Fluttershy, "WHAT'D I TELL YOU, TWILIGHT? HUH? WHAT'D I TELL YOU?"

"Well done, Rainbow Dash," was all the princess had to say.

Rarity then took the next card from the stack. "How am I maintaining my relationship status?" she asked.

"That's easy!" Rainbow said, "You're not! Hahaha!!" Rarity only groaned and rolled her eyes.

"Woo-hoo!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she drew another white card.

"Okay then," the white mare continued, "How am I maintaining my relationship status? The Land of Chocolate. Hmm...I like it. Falling into the toilet. No, no, no. Most certainly not. Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks. Sounds like a really fancy place in Canterlot. Having been dead for a while?"

Each one of us began laughing. "You're coltfriend's a necrophiliac!" Twilight said playfully.

"Uhhh..." Rarity grunted, "One trillion dollars. Well, that will certainly keep a stallion in my life. And finally, a sofa that says, 'I have style, but I like to be comfortable'. To someone else, maybe, but I'm going with one trillion dollars."

"Wheeeeee!!!" Pinkie cheered as she took the card from Rarity. She hadn't gotten any cards in the past three rounds, and I was happy for her.

Rainbow then cleared her throat before reading the next card. "Dear Sir or Madam," she began, imitating Rarity's high-class tone, "We regret to inform you that the Office of _____ has denied your request for _____."

"Ha! Good one, Rainbow!" AJ said, complimenting her friend.

I had a card that went well with the elements of harmony, plus I had a custom card, and for some reason, I put them together and gave them to Rainbow. "Ahem. Dear Sir or Madam, we regret to inform you that the Office of butt stuff has denied your request for when you fart and a little bit comes out."

"Ewww!!!" exclaimed Pinkie.

"We regret to inform you that the Office of not contributing to society in any meaningful way has denied your request for strong female characters. Hmmm... We regret to inform you that the Office of mad...hacky-sack skills?"

"It's essentially a small beanbag that we humans kick in the air to each other with our feet," I said.

"Okay. ...has denied your request for hipsters. Mmmm...nah. We regret to inform you that the Office of making a friend has denied your request for painting the White House black?" Another custom.

"It's where our president lives," I said.

"Oh, okay. We regret to inform you that the Office of being without a lover..." Another custom, "...has denied your request for a sweaty, panting leather daddy. HA! We regret to inform you that the Office of child beauty pageants has denied your request for blowjobs for everyone! Yes! That one wins!"

"Oh, how delightful!" Rarity said, "I'm almost tied with you two!" she finished while pointing to Rainbow, and then to Twilight.

"Aw, crap!" Rainbow exclaimed, realizing that she was right.

"Okay, let's see if this one makes that a reality!" Pinkie Pie said while taking the next card. She then proceeded to read it in an excited tone. "Fun tip! When your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with _____ instead!"

"Yes!" I shouted, noticing an amazing card in my hand, "Perfect!"

"Oh, we'll see about that..." Rainbow said to me in a competitive tone.

"Hey, calm down!" Pinkie said, "We're gonna find that out right now! Fun tip! When your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with a box of biscuits, a box of mixed biscuits, and a biscuit mixer instead. Hmmm... try surprising him with a box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid instead. Nah, he would have found that WAY before then. Try surprising him with a snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis instead. So...whose penis is it biting? Anyway, try surprising him with a disappointing salad instead. Nah. Try surprising him with blood farts instead. Ewww!!!" The others laughed. "Try surprising him with a crappy little hand instead. You know, despite how gross it is, I'm going with blood farts."

"Sweet!" I said, Pinkie handing me the card soon after.

"The next rounds gonna be the last, just so 'ya know," Rainbow said while looking at no one in particular.

"You're right, Rainbow," Twilight replied, "And we all know why..." She finished my giving her another sly grin.

"This is gonna be a gooooooood next few rounds..." I thought to myself.

Author's Note

It seems that Twilight and Rainbow are neck and neck. Who will win? Find out after this!

After 6 rounds, here's the score:

Me: 6
TS: 8
AJ: 4
Fluttershy: 4
Rarity: 7
RD: 8
Pinkie: 5