Chapters Wake up jerk. Time for adventure!
You awaken with a start! Sitting straight up in your bed, covered in sweat. That was some dream you just had. Or at least... you think it was some dream. Why is it so hard to remember? Something about an adventure that you need to go on with one of your friends. Maybe you can talk to them about it.
Rising out of bed slowly, you walk to your window. Bright and sunny. The cuckoo clock on your wall says it is 7:00am. You try to go about your morning but thoughts of your dream keep creeping up.
"Screw it!" You finally say, unable to deal with the constant nagging thoughts. Putting down the bottle of milk you were about to pour into your bowl of oats, you angrily walk towards your door. If you want to go on this adventure so bad then fine! You'll just go talk to one of your element of harmony friends and see if they'll accompany you.
But who should you go to?
Twilight:
Rainbow
Pinkie:
Fluttershy:
Rarity:
That other one:
Nevermind
Wait what?
"Nevermind. I'm sure everything will short itself out." You say to yourself, returning to your kitchen.
Looking back at your breakfast, your find that you're not really in the mood for oats anymore. You had the for breakfast yesterday. Instead, you're going to eat...
Eggs
Hay
Oats
What the hell? This path doesn't lead to adventure stupid! Go back and click something else!
Actually, you're just really indecisive. You decide to go with the oats anyways. You pour the milk into the bowl and trot over to your dinning table.
10 minutes later you've finished your delicious bowl of oats, very happy that you did end of eating them in the end. Now that you're done with your meal, perhaps you should think about doing something else today. Such as going on the fucking adventure! But what?
After thinking long and hard it finally hits you. Shopping! You should go shopping. What do you need to buy?
More milk
More eggs
More hay
Nothing actually
Oh my god! What the hell are you doing!?
Actually, on second thought, you don't need to go to the store. You should make up your mind. So if you don't need to go shopping then what DO you need to do? Perhaps go on one of those multiple adventures that the story was suppose to be about.
Go on an adventure:
Go shopping:
Did you even read the title!? It's called Adventures In Equestria! Not an average uneventful day in the land of magical god damn horses!
Yeah, you do need stuff. Getting up from the table you finally exit your home and begin walking to the market.
You finally reach the stretch of road with various stores on either side, a.k.a. the market. As you're browsing the various fruits, vegetables, wheat products, magical items, pogo sticks, poisons, live animals, dead animals, actual slave ponies, glues, stews, blues of all hues, and Jews, a loud voice yells out to you. You turn around only to find your friend Rainbow Dash.
"Hey whatever your name was. I needed your help with this adventure I'm going on. There's going to be monsters, and magic, and probably a lot of fighting. So you wanna tag along?" She asks in squeaky yet cute voice. You simply smile and answer...
Yes:
No:
Look I don't know what story you think you clicked on but this story is supposed to be one of adventure and what not.
You haven't had hay in a while, might as well eat some of that. Opening up a few cabinets you find what you need. Hay, buns, and some more hay. Within seconds you have the most delicious hayburger you've ever seen.
After sitting down at the dinning table you proceed to devour the entire burger in seconds, extremely pleased with your food choice. Now that you're done with your meal, perhaps you should think about doing something else today. Such as going on the fucking adventure! But what?
After thinking long and hard it finally hits you. Shopping! You should go shopping. What do you need to buy?
More Milk
More Eggs
More Hay
Nothing actually
More ____
Are you kidding me with this shit?
Yeah, you do need stuff. Getting up from the table you finally exit your home and begin walking to the market.
You finally reach the stretch of road with various stores on either side, a.k.a. the market. As you're browsing the various fruits, vegetables, wheat products, magical items, pogo sticks, poisons, live animals, dead animals, actual slave ponies, glues, stews, blues of all hues, and Jews, a loud voice calls out to you. You turn around only to find your friend Rainbow Dash.
"Hey whatever your name was. I needed your help with this adventure I'm going on. There's going to be monsters, and magic, and probably a lot of fighting. So you wanna tag along?" She asks in squeaky yet cute voice. You simply smile and answer...
Yes
No
Man, that brony dating website seems pretty interesting....Oh! Sorry, got sidetracked. Uh Rainbow Dash, good choice or something.
(Choosing this story line means your character will be a pegasus)
You decide to go talk to Rainbow Dash. Spreading your wings you quickly take off into the air and start flying around Ponyville. It doesn't you much time to spot her easily identifiable rainbow colored mane.
Quickly skydiving down to her altitude you strike up a conversation.
"Hey Rainbow! I'm kind of bored. You going on any adventures?"
"Huh? Oh hey. Yeah I am actually. There's going to be monsters, and magic, and probably a lot of fighting. So you wanna tag along?" She asks in her normal squeaky yet cute voice. You simply smile and answer...
Yes
No
What do you mean "No?" This story is one of adventure! That means you don't say no to the adventure!
"Nah" You tell her. "I got to buy some oats, eggs, and/or hay. I'll talk to you after you're done on the adventure." Not waiting for her to respond you quickly fly off to buy your groceries, and that's about it. No, seriously. You didn't lose or anything, your life just kind of goes on. You were never invited to another adventure, Rainbow Dash got somepony else to help her and the 2 of them succeeded. Now there are 7 elements of harmony which makes so little sense but hey! At least you got your oats, eggs, and/or hay. So, good for you champ! You did it.
Good idea, your huge vagina would've gotten in the way if you decided to fight.
"Uh h-hello? Mr. or Mrs. Tall Thing. Do you speak Equestrian?" You asked the creature as you slowly flew closer. Rainbow looked at you as if you had lost your mind.
"I speak all languages." The creature boomed out in a deep monotone voice. It still didn't turn to look at you.
"OK well that's good. Now um, who are you?"
"They call me Kieth. Kieth The Cloud God!"
"Ok Keith I-"
"No, it's Kieth!"
"Keith?"
"NO DAMMIT! KIETH!"
"Ok got it, Keith."
"JUST GET ON WITH IT!"
"OK! CALM DOWN! Anyways Keith my friend and I have been noticing that a lot of cloud have been going missing. Do you know anything about that?"
"Yes! I am the reason they have gone missing. I need them to construct my army! MUAHAHAHA!"
"An army of.....clouds?" At this point Rainbow Dash flew closer as well. The creature suddenly stopped being so frightening.
"Yes fools! You see, my powers allow me to transform any cloud into a cumulonimbus! The very cloud-"
"That cause storms." Rainbow butted in, her face draining of color, probably. She has fur, it was hard to tell.
"Yes, let me finish please. I'm travel your pitiful little world with my army of clouds destroying everything!"
"Why!?" You yelled out.
"YOU PONIES CONSTANTLY DESTROY MY BEAUTIFUL CLOUDS! NOW YOU'RE GOING TO LEARN WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE YOUR STUFF DESTROYED!" The creature finally turned around revealing that it's face was a cloud! Literally, everything from the mane line down to the neck was just a cloud.
You and Rainbow gasped in horror as the creature held up front hoof things and started spewing gas out of the of his appendages. This gas quickly formed dark grey clouds that quickly approached you two. A bolt of lightning shot out of one, hitting Rainbow Dash and causing her to pass out. Now that cloud was moving towards you. Time for some quick thinking!
Fight
Run Away
"Wow, dick move bro."
You're sure Rainbow can handle herself. Right now you've got more important things to do. You rush full force, opening your mouth and biting down hard on the closest cloud. The electricity within the cloud coursed throughout your entire body as you shook your head back and forth like a dog with a chew toy. The cloud poofed away and you move onto the next one. Within seconds you had destroyed all the storm clouds. With them out of the way you flew at the Kieth and knocked into his stomach. He let out a gasp as winded, giving you opportunity to turn around and buck Keith in the cloud face. There was a loud scream and the cloud poofed away. Following it was the rest of his head, his front legs, everything from his neck to his back legs, and finally both of his back legs.
With him out of the way you flew back to Rainbow, still lying on the cloud unconscious. You toss her on your back which isn't very easy with your two lifting hooves are also two front standing hooves, and flew off for the hospital.
"Rainbow....Rainbow......Rainbow? Rainbow!" Rainbow awoke with a scream, hearing somepony shouting her name. Her head shot about, looking this way and that. Until she finally calmed down. It had been Pinkie Pie who so rudely awoken her.
"Heh, hey Pinkie. Where am I?" She asked, rubbing her head with a bandaged hoof. Surrounding her was the aforementioned Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, and you. Everyone wore a large smile.
"Mornin' sugar cube. Yer in the hospital. Accordin to yer friend here y'all were fighting some feller named Keith last week?"
"Yeah, yeah. I guess we wo-LAST WEEK!?" As Applejack's words sunk in Rainbow's eyes practically bulged out. She had been in an adorable pony coma for the last week.
"Yeah" Twilight began, rubbing the back of her neck with a hoof. "I tried to wake you up sooner but there are no spells to cure a coma. Just one's to cure polio, low IQ, pure chaos, bitchitis, pony aids, shotty wifi connection, the common cold, the uncommon cold, and an addiction to making absurd list, but not coma."
While Twilight spoke, Nurse Redheart came into the room.
"I'm going to need all of you to leave the patient for now." She said, ushering for the 6 of you to leave Rainbow Dash for now. No sooner had you left than Twilight pulled you aside and started whispering.
"Look, I need your help. There's a problem, a BIG problem and you're the only pegasus who I can count on right now. Fluttershy would just have a panic attack. Can you help me?
Yes
No
Wow, and here I thought you liked Rainbow.
You decide to ignore Rainbow Dash. She still has one wing. Instead you rush towards the creature. You're getting closer. Almost there. Just a few more feet. So close! You've almost got it.
SPLAT!
You're stopped as you hear a sound that fills you with dread. You're no more than an inch from the creature but you can't fight him as you realize that you heard Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in Equestria hit the ground from 1,000 hooves in the sky. Even as the storm clouds surround you, there's no movement made. If only you had tried to save her rather than fighting.
You don't fight back. You don't speak. You don't do anything as the lightning hits you hard and everything goes black.
(Choosing this storyline will make your character an pegasus.)
Swear to god if any of your complain about how over powered alicorns are I will literally delete your comment.
Twilight Sparkle, the alicorn princess of friendship. She is one of the most powerful magic creatures if you don't count the princesses and Discord. Right now Twilight was at the hospital because one of her friends had been hit by lightning. Luckily they woke up, after a week!
As you entered the hospital the princess of friendship ran right up to you. There was a scared look in her eyes as she spoke. "Listen I don't have much time! Rainbow is out of commission and I need your help!"
"What? Who? What do you need my help with?"
"I need a pegasus! Magic, monster, evil thing, AH! There's no time to explain! I would ask Fluttershy to do it but I don't think she could keep it together. She's strong when she needs to be but even she isn't strong enough. Are you going to help me or not?" Twilight spoke/yelled quickly but you understood most of what she was saying. She needs your help, are you going to give it to her?
Yes
No
You're just doing this because you think there's a part in this story where you and Rainbow hug aren't you? Well let me tell you, there is....not.
So much Rainbow Dash adoration, so little time. You fly as fast as your wings will carry you towards the creature and hit it hard. Unfortunately the creature decided to hit hard. After your charge attack did little more than push him forward an inch, he grabbed your left wing and threw you away. It took quite some time before you regained your balance and by then Rainbow had already gotten over her fear and was rushing towards the creature. Quickly, you started flying back to them, getting a good look at the creatures face or lack there of in the process. From the mane line to the neck there was nothing more than a white cloud.
"How can this thing see?", "How does this thing talk?", "How does this thing eat foals like most monsters do." All these thoughts were cut short as you saw the creature wraps its hoof appendages around one of Rainbow Dash's wings and squeeze hard. Her scream of pain cut through the air like a bullet would if those existed and you knew what they were. The creature let go of the now broken wing, allowing Rainbow to free fall. You were all about 1,000 hooves in the air. The creature was getting ready to attack you now. Raising its front hoof thing and shooting dark grey storm clouds out. Do you fight the creature or save Rainbow Dash?
Fight
Save
NO! No, you know what!? NO! I'm not letting you do this. That adventure was literally handed to you on a silver platter and you said NO!? WELL GUESS WHAT!? I'm saying NO to YOU! You are going back to the beginning of this story and you are doing it right! You lost! YOU LOSE! You lost a choose your own My Little god damn Pony fanfiction! How do you even fucking manage to do that!? Click HERE and go back to the beginning. You're not going any further! Just imagine something murdered you and now you have to start all over because I am not letting you go any further with this bullshit!
What is this that you're doing?
Eggs sound really good right now, so you decide to make them. Taking out your frying pan and 2 eggs, you get to work cooking them. It doesn't take very long and soon you're sitting at the dinning table enjoying a plate of scrambled eggs.
10 minutes later you've finished your delicious plate of eggs, very happy that you chose to eat them instead. Now that you're done with your meal, perhaps you should think about doing something else today. Such as going on the fucking adventure! But what?
After thinking long and hard it finally hits you. Shopping! You should go shopping. What do you need to buy?
More milk
More eggs
More hay
Nothing actually
OH! So NOW you're ready for adventure!? Not earlier when you wanted to eat breakfast and fuck around. No, no, NOW is the time for adventure! I mean, are you kidding me!?
You decide it's adventure time and get up from your table. You quickly run to your door before realizing you don't know who you're going to go on an adventure with and that you need more words for this chapter otherwise it can't be published. There's Twilight Sparkle who is always in need of help for her science mumbo-jumbo. There's bound to be some cool flying stuff you and Rainbow Dash could do. Pinkie Pie constantly manages to get herself into weird and dangerous situations. Fluttershy is just plain adorable and spending time around her is nice. Rarity has been talking about getting some materials for her clothes and whatnot. No one cares about Applejack but there might be something she needs help with if you're really desperate. After much consideration you finally decide to go talk to....
Twilight
Rainbow
Pinkie
Fluttershy
Rarity
Applejack
Yay! Adventure!
"Yeah sure whatevs" You answer, trying to pass yourself off as cool. She gives you a confused look but quickly goes back to smiling.
"Great!" She says happily "Follow me! I'll explain on the way." And with that she takes off in a flash of colors, with you quickly taking off after her."
"So, what are we going to do on this adventure?" You ask after finally catching up.
"Well, lately the weather ponies have reported that a few of their cloud have gone missing. I didn't think much of it at first, but yesterday they said an entire batch of clouds disappeared! That's like, 30 clouds! The only witness says she saw some pony in a cloak leaving the scene, but that they threw some dust in her face that made her pass out." Rainbow explained, having to yell so that you could hear her at the speed you two were flying.
"Wait, so if you don't know who did this then how do you know this is the right way to go?" You asked.
"I don't know. Lucky guess, a hunch, plot convenience? Choose one and be quiet! We're almost the-." Rainbow spoke but you had stopped listening. Off in the distance, standing on a cloud, you saw something that was almost too much for your mind to handle. You knew Rainbow quickly noticed it as well because she suddenly stopped talking.
It was a bipedal creature of some sort. It was at least 7 feet tall, that's over 3 feet taller than either you or Rainbow Dash. It had long bony appendages growing out of what you could only assume to be its front hooves. The thing's mane was also strange, covering the entire top of its head in black greasy looking hair. The creature was thin, as if it had never had a meal in its life. It had no fur and its was so pale.
"What should we do?" Rainbow asked, a hint of fear in her voice. Just that small hint was enough to make you afraid as well. If Rainbow Dash was scared then something was definitely wrong. What had she asked? What should we do? What should you do? You had never seen a creature like this before. But you weighted your options. On one hoof you could try to fight this creature. If you won then it would win you Rainbow Dash's adoration, get you named a hero, win you Rainbow Dash's adoration, get knighted by Princess Celestia, win you Rainbow Dash's adoration! And that's not even mentioning all the adoration you'd win from Rainbow Dash. But, this creature could be friendly and simply needs the clouds for something important. You don't see any of the other missing clouds but maybe you can get them back. That would lower the risk of this creature trying to kill you, and you might still win Rainbow's adoration if she sees that you're brave enough to fly right up to the creature and talk to it.
Fight
Talk
