A Janitor's Duty

You stood there mildly puzzled for a minute or two, trying to put Celestia's words together, for they were bouncing around in your mind. Then you heard her majesty on her throne speak those same words to you, hopefully so you could hear it more clearly.

"Yes. A package with YOUR name on it strangely arrived in MY mailbox," she said with a more irritated tone.

Yeah. She didn't like getting mail that isn't hers, unless it was Luna's, in which she kindly opens them for her sister before actually 'giving' them to her. In short, Celestia's a bit of a Suzy Selfish. Well, you didn't want to start an argument with her, for you would surely lose. So, instead of signing your own death warrant, you decided to ask her about the package.

"A package for me? Who's it from?" you wondered who even remembered your name. Let's just say your popularity when you arrived came and went like a sugar rush. Heck, some even forgot you came to their world.

"That is unknown, fortunately. Either they forgot to write their name down on it or--" Celestia put her hand on her lips like the classy lady she always portrayed. Then her eyelids lowered and gave you a suspicious smirk. You wondered what she was thinking.

"Oh, you DOG! You naughty, naughty, dog!" she said with a flirtatious expression with it ending on a giggle. Now you really wondered what she was thinking.

"Okay, now I'm confused," you admit-tingly said.

Calming herself a bit, she regained her compulsion to act like a proper princess and produce a sentence that one such would say.

"Right. It is quite possible that the pony who sent you this could be a secret admirer. Somepony who might have been smitten by your presence," she finally said.

Your heart jumped a beat after hearing those exact words. Not once did you ever get anything from someone who claimed to be your "secret admirer." Most of the mail you got in your world was from people you already met or bills, which you thanked God you didn't have to pay them anymore now that you were in Equestria. Now a question was branded on your brain," Who is your secret admirer?" It was a question you had to answer later. Right now, you had important matters to deal with, like not drooling on the carpet for being zoned out for so long.

Celestia snapped her fingers again to regain your attention.

"A-a-a s-secret admirer?" you stuttered a response.

"Yes, that is what I said."

"Huh...any idea of who?"

Celestia's face deadpanned. That was indeed one of the dumbest questions you ever asked a princess. However, she decided to play along.

"Oh, it could be anypony, or anything for that matter. It might even be the wretched Queen Chrysalis, for all we know."

"I hope that last sentence was just you pulling my leg," because otherwise you would have some serious questions for her.

"Of course I was! Everypony knows she disappeared after she was defeated, and severely weak at that point. It would not be possible for her to even think about coming within a hundred miles of Ponyville or Canterlot. But if she did have the guts to come back to this land, I swear on my mother's life that I will PERSONALLY--"

"The package?" you said trying to get both you and the princess back on the subject at hand.

"Right. Sorry. Got a little carried away there for a moment. He he.."

You don't say...

"Anyway, I will be glad to give you this package..."

"Cool!"

"If you keep your promise to return that bracelet after you're done making this place as clean as it can be."

"Oh,"was what you said. What was going on in your mind was:

OH COME ON!! WE'RE AT THE HOME F*CKIN' STRETCH OF THIS BULLSH*T!!

Like it or not, you had no choice but to make said promise. You wanted to know what was at least in the package in order to actually care for it. So, taking one knee, posturing like an honorable knight, you raised your left hand and covered your chest with your right whilst holding the bracelet. Then you spoke.

"Your majesty, I solemnly swear on my mother's grave, that I shall return this bracelet right after I make this throne room completely spotless from the marble floors to the gorgeously painted ceilings above. I promise I will not fail you, princess of the sun."

A part of you was dying to just stand up with both arms in the air yelling,"PRAISE THE SUUUUUUN!!" but you were better than that...

"Then I grant you the possession of this unknown package, for only you to discover its treasures," Celestia said in her best princess voice. A part of her was glad to get rid of it. It wasn't HER mail, after all. Again, Suzy Selfish.

"Much obliged, princess," you said as you were getting up and tipping your hat to her.

"You are most welcome. Now go. I must attend to my studies," she said after getting up from her throne.

With both the bracelet and the package in your hands, you turned away from her and walked to the main corridors. It was then you saw a flash of yellow at the corner of your eye. You turned to see the princess of the sun was no longer there. Didn't surprise you though, for you knew of her teleporting abilities. She could be anywhere at anytime in Canterlot, though she would still need to take the train to Ponyville.

Giving a shrug, you continued your walk from the throne room to your bedroom.

Not a lot of ponies disturbed you much as you were walking. It was until one of the royal guard asked you about the package and wanted to inspect it. You had no choice in the matter. Denying inspections of packages would make you a suspect of having a bomb in your possession. It was at least a good thing these ponies believed in the word terrorism. You turned away from the package as he was checking it's contents. You wanted to be surprised when you yourself opened it.

After giving you the nod that you were all clear, he safely put all the stuff back in the box and let you be on your way. After a good five minutes, you finally arrived at your quarters. Opening the door, you placed the bracelet on the nightstand, your cleaning equipment at the far corner, and the package on your small bed. You removed your uniform to put on some more comfortable clothing; a shirt, some jean shorts, the summer works. Your attention now pointed to the box in the middle of your bed.

What was in it? you thought. Since you were now in possession of it, you were now at liberty to open it. So, removing the lid your jaw dropped and your brain stopped working upon seeing what was in the box.

...it was a tuxedo designed for YOU!

The one thing that you didn't have, the one thing that stopped you in your tracks to impressing Luna, the one thing that you NEEDED for the ball, was right there in front of your eyes!

You slowly and carefully picked up the torso part of the tux, looking at it from every angle you could see. The wool, black overcoat; the silky, milk-white collar button shirt; the smooth, charcoal bowtie; the oh-so-rarely-used-but-makes-the-man-look-more-handsome napkin in the pocket.

Yeah, this suit was legit.

What then caught your eye was a card on the floor that perhaps fell out the box after you pulled the suit out. You picked it up to see what seemed to be a note.

Consider your wish granted. Hopefully this will help you in your future attempts to get the mare of your dreams. Enjoy!

Sincerely,

Your Secret Admirer

Ah yes, your secret admirer. You almost forgot about who sent this to you. But you didn't care. All that mattered to you was the tuxedo lying on your bed. You could only stare at it, for there was not much to do other than that. You wanted to savor this moment...

...

"Well, are you going to put on your little tutu or what, you sissy ballerina!?"

You almost jumped a foot into the air upon hearing that voice. Only turning around to the voice was when you saw him.

"Oh no...not you again..."