A Janitor's Duty

Sweep this, mop that, wipe these, and scrub those. Today couldn't have been different from any other work day, although you thought it felt hotter outside than normal. You took a peek at a calendar to check the month and saw it was August, the month where most of the summer days are scorching. You'd hate to be anypony who had to go out and get something today. Luckily, you heard from some of the royal guard that a big storm was going to be formed by the weather patrol tomorrow, which was much needed. Equestria had been going five days straight without rain, and the flowers and crops were starting to whither.

As you were just finishing up spraying down the dining room tables and wiping them clean, you heard a call from a guard who was at the entrance of the room.

"Excuse me, janitor! Her majesty has requested your assistance with something of the utmost importance!"

"Which majesty!?" You yelled back from the other side of the room.

"Princess Celestia!" He replied and left the room.

"Oh great. Wonder what's been giving her panties a good tug this time..." you murmured under your breath.

Ever since you came to Equestria, you felt like there was some bad blood between you and Celestia. The main reason was that every time she calls for you, it's usually something you've done wrong or haven't done enough of. From things like,"You missed a spot," to "This area in the castle could've been swept a bit more," you felt like she was your mother-in-law. You almost thought she had OCD or somethin'.

After cleaning the last table in the dining room, you headed straight to Celestia's throne room without stopping. Good thing you knew this place practically inside and out or you would've been as lost as a wondering kid in a big-ass mall. Being a janitor had its perks.

Couple minutes later, you arrived at her door, giving it the royal knock, which sounded dangerously close to the rhythm of "Shave and a Haircut."

You didn't want to know why.

With that, the doors opened slowly; perhaps a little too slowly. You got that it made a dramatic effect for someone arriving, but damn did you not think those doors could open any slower. You decided to go through the space in between them so you wouldn't waste time with her majesty.

"Come forward, subject," Princess Celestia beckoned from across the throne room. The room was huge and was the main spot for all the royal balls and weddings, which made sense. Still, you wondered what it's like in here when there aren't any ponies around. That's a lot of alone time for one princess.

Of course that doesn't mean Celestia doesn't get stuff done around here. She would have scrolls to give to her apprentice, read ones given to her, make changes small or large to laws and regulations. You know, the usual princess sh*t.

It took you a solid sixty seconds to approach the steps to her throne and to stop on the first step. You took off your hat and bowed in her presence as you should when it comes to a princess, then you got up, looked at her atop the stairs and--- JESUS, LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THOSE KNOCKERS!!

No matter how many times you've seen her, you just couldn't get over the fact of how large her melons were. Pumpkin sized at best. You felt like the only thing that will save her would be a sports bra with a hell of a lot of support. But no, she just lets them hang there without a care in the world. No reason to cover up that big round flank of hers either. Ain't nothing to save her there. Even for a princess, you would have thought she would have the decency to cover herself up more. Given the garments she was wearing, it looked like she was begging to be f*cked. She could go au naturel and you wouldn't notice.

A couple of finger snaps got you out of the gutter, though, and looking back at those violet purple eyes of hers.

You stuttered as you were looking for words to say.

"Y-your majesty. I understand you have called me here?"

"That is correct," Celestia's reply couldn't be simpler. "As you may know, the royal couple -- Princess Cadance and Shining Armor -- are celebrating their second anniversary together with another royal ball this year."

"Why yes. I am aware of that," your most honest response to date.

"Good. The ball shall be held here like last year, and I want to make sure that this entire room is spotless before the decorators arrive tomorrow evening, even at places nopony would ever look. Are you up to the task, my dear janitor?"

Before you instantly decided to say yes so you wouldn't disappoint her, your mind started to ponder the situation. One big-ass throne room, and one...you. Yeah...you didn't like those odds. So you decide to answer her question with your own.

"With all due respect, your majesty, wouldn't be better to get an entire team of cleaners to do the job instead of one lonely janitor? I mean, there's just one me. Doing this would require a little more than a wash rag and a bucket of water, don't you think?"

You were preparing for the most frequent response from Celestia. It would go a little something like this: "Nonsense! I know you are more than capable of handling this yourself. Now hurry and make this place shine before the day of the ball arrives!" Perhaps not as forceful as you would think, but you knew of Celestia's paper thin patience when it came to events like these.

Instead, though, you're given silence. You looked up at her again to see she was actually thinking about your question. For once in your new life, you managed to intrigue the princess of the sun. You could really see her using her brain on what you said.

You waited for a response, but all you got so far was her going,"hmmm," and tapping her index finger on her left cheek. After a good minute and a half, though, her eyes focused back on you and her lips began to move.

"I suppose for this occasion, I shall give you something to make your work easier ten times over."

You blinked twice to regain your attention to what she was saying. She was actually going to *help** you with this problem?*

"C-c-come again?" you stuttered once more.

"To disallow your effort from being pushed beyond your abilities, I bestow upon you this." Celestia's horn started to glow a golden yellow color as she pulled out one of her books beside her. In that sapphire crested book was a golden bracelet with gems of various color. She pulled it out and slowly sent it your way, where it landed in your open hands.

"This looks pretty shiny, buuut... what is it?" As always when it comes to seeing things you don't understand, you question it immediately.

"It is a very sacred bracelet, but should help you in your effort to make this place look like new again. Upon wearing it, it shall grant you the speed of a full grown cheetah, the flight of a well trained pegasus, and the reflexes of a slender mongoose!"

All of what Celestia said did sound awesome, but a part of you was worried that you would turn into a monstrous combination of the animals she said.

"Wow, thanks, your majesty!"

"But be warned, boy..." oh how rare she calls you 'boy'. "That bracelet is to be used for this particular job only. You must immediately return it to me when the job is done. Failure to do so could have serious consequences..."

"Liiiiike what?" you questioned.

Celestia opened her mouth as to say something but quickly shut it. She honestly had no idea what would happen. She just knew it was her sister's bracelet. So...she shrugged.

Wow. What a great build in confidence. I feel totally safe now, you couldn't express that thought with more sarcasm. But you would promise her that you will return it when done, for you were not really fond of what would happen if you didn't. There might be death involved. A lot of death.

"Fear not, your majesty! With this, I'll be able to get this whole place neat and tidy and you wouldn't even know the bracelet was gone when I'm done!" you said in the highest level of confidence.

With a sigh of relief, Celestia finally said,"Very well, janitor. I trust you take care of that artifact like it was your own child."

"Much obliged!" you said as you took one last bow and started to walk out of the throne room. But the princess stopped you before you could take more than five steps.

"I almost forgot. There's a package with your name on it."

"A what?"