Hoity Toity's Floating Bazaar

Sex And Violence

At a large sand dune, an old pony quickly ran down it, only to promptly tumble down. He continued to tumble down the hill, hard, until he made a complete stop at the bottom. The old pony coughed up sand from his mouth before he caught his breath.

"It's..."

At a farm outside Ponyville, Big Mac quietly and stoically observed the farm's flock of sheep. As he did that, Filthy Rich calmly walked by. "Good afternoon." he said to the big red stallion.

"Eeyup."

Filthy decided to strike up a conversation before he returned home. "A nice day out isn't it?"

"Eeyup."

"So, you here to take in the country air as well?" asked the business pony as he stood next to Mac.

"Nnope, ah live here." answered Mac without emotion.

"Oh, that's nice." Filthy decided to scan the field, only to get confused by the sight. "What's this? Are those REALLY sheep?" he was baffled.

"Eeyup."

"Well...that's what I thought...but..." he tried to find the correct words to describe what was happening. "...why are they up in the trees?"

"Fair question," Mac nodded. "ah've been askin' that myself all week, but in my opinion, they're nestin'."

"Nesting?!"

"Eeyup." Mac confirmed.

"Like birds?!" Rich was completely stunned.

"Eeyup." Mac confirmed. "It's my belief that the sheep now believe that they're birds. Take a look Mr. Rich, notice their tendency to now move around the field on their back legs." Mac pointed to a sheep that was doing that. "Now notice their attempts to fly off that apple tree." he points to a tree. "And now see how they plummet instead." loud noises of sheep hitting the ground hard and bones breaking echo across the field, Filthy looked on with disgust at how the sheep hit the ground. "And observe this mama sheep teachin' her young daughter how to fly." the little sheep jumped off the tree but immediately plunged to the ground, breaking her neck on impact, killing her. "Blind leadin' the blind like ya fancy folks like to say." he mused.

"But why are they acting like birds?!" asked a dumbfounded Filthy Rich.

"Eeyup, another question ah've been askin' myself." nodded the red stallion. "All ah know is, is that sheep are not biologically designed to fly like birds, Griffins, bats and Pegasi can, they have no wings, their bones are too dense and heavy, and they even lack the claws needed to perch properly." as he said that, another sheep fell to the ground after a failed attempt at perching. "But the thin' is, sheep are very dumb and once one sheep gets an idea, all the others follow." the farmer pony explained.

"But where did they get such a ridiculous idea?" exclaimed Filthy with shock.

"From Pom, she's asleep over there under that tree, now she's mighty dangerous because she's a clever sheep, and there's nothin' more dangerous in the animal kingdom than a clever sheep." he pointed out. "She figured out that all sheep do is graze around a field for a few months and then get slaughtered for their meat to be served to carnivorous creatures." he explained. "So she hit upon an idea of escape."

"Why don't you just get rid of Pom?!" he asked completely confused from the display.

"Because of the potential money makin' opportunities should she ever succeed." smirked Mac as bit signs formed on his eyes.

In another location, two nerdy scientists stand in front of a diagram of a sheep. They began to speak rapidly in pseudo Chinese. "晚上好 - 在这里我们有一个英法羊的现代图表...现在... ... BAA-AA，BAA-AA......我们，在头部，船舱。这就是小英队长，Trubshawe先生." said one scientist while pointing wildly at the diagram.

"布赖恩明亮，无论你是." agreed the other.

"好吧，好吧. 现在我介绍一下我的同事，著名有点装饰，约翰·布赖恩." continued the first scientist who began to babble on like a mad pony before he deeply kissed the other scientist.

The second scientist happily kissed back before he broke it so he can speak. "现在，羊......登陆腿高跟鞋，不错." he pointed out as he placed stickers of wheels on the feet of the sheep on the diagram.

"那么，这里的车轮!" the first scientist happily pointed out.

"这是伟大的，是不是?" the second scientist began to describe a jet engine through charades.

"旅客的行李......他们...点击这里!" the other scientist quickly removes the sheep diagram and replaces it with a diagram of a sheep-shaped plane. Soon, the two began to flap their arms around as if they're wings while "baaing" as sheep.

"Ya know, ah've noticed a lot of these Chinese tourists around these parts." stated Granny Smith to her equally elderly friends.

"Oh yes." "Very much so." they agreed in unison.

"And how do you feel about these Chinese tourists?" asked Bon-Bon to the elderly group who was interviewing them for a news story.

"Why, they are very polite, but they do like to keep to themselves though." explained Granny.

Her friends all agree in unison.

"Besides, there are so many famous Chinese ponies throughout history aren't there?" asked Granny Smith rhetorically.

"Confuscious." "Sun Tzu" "Mao Zedong" "Jackie Chan"

"Oooh! Jackie Chan! Have any of you bought his newest album yet? It's amazing!" mused one of the elderly mares. All the elderly mares continue with their run down of famous Chinese historical figures.

"And now for something completely new!" began Pinkie. "A stallion with three plot holes!" she announced with excitement.

At a television studio, Time Turner sat with another stallion across from. The brown stallion grabbed his note cards and began the interview. "Good evening, tonight, I'll be interviewing Mr. Tre Fori, who has...uh..." he suddenly became uncomfortable when he saw the reason he was interviewing Mr. Fori came up on his note card. "Well...you have...uh..." he wanted to say it but was afraid of causing offense. "Well, Mr. Fori, most ponies have only one...but you have...you have..."

"Come again?" asked Mr. Fori with confusion.

"So...are you comfortable sitting there?" Turner asked.

"Oh yes, I am quite comfortable." nodded Tre.

Time Turner looked over at the stallion's rump in a discreet mannor. He sweated bullets. "Uh...Fori...in base a...your...rump..."

"Che?!" exclaimed Tre with confusion.

"Your flank...bottom...cushion..." he did not want to say the word for fear of offending his guest and audience.

"My what?"

Time Turner then whispers at his guest. "Gluteo."

"Ah, mio culo!" he happily announced as he finally got what the host was trying to say.

"Shhh!" exclaimed the host. "The RCC is monitoring us!" he warned. "Anyways, I understand that you have a certain addition to the area we are talking about right?" he asked.

"I have three...uh...what you say...ani." Mr. Fori happily clarified.

"Oh, that's great, fantastic!" Turner breathed a sigh of relief. "Now, I was wondering if you would be so kind as to well..." he secretly motioned for a camera to go behind his guest. But Mr. Fori quickly noticed.

"Ehi! What's that camera doing back there?!" he yelled with annoyance.

"Ignore the camera Mr. Fori, I was just wondering if you would be willing to show us, so can you be so kind as to well, bend over and move your tail out of the way so we can-"

"Cosa!?" the guest exclaimed. Suddenly, a hoof grabbed his tail but Mr. Fori immediately bucked him away. "I am not going to show my culo to the entire world, I am not a pervertito, what kind of show is this?!" he began to get extremely annoyed by the whole thing.

"Just please show us!" Time Turner demanded.

"No!"

"A quick peek!"

"No!"

"Now look here mister!" Turner well with anger. "It is quite easy for a stallion to come down here to the EBC and claim that they have three anuses so we here and the viewers deserve proof to your outrageous claim!"

"I've been on Italian radio!" Mr. Fori exclaimed. "Even Eros Ramazzotti knows I have three!"

"What?!" Turner could not believe it. "How?!"

"We go to the gym together." he clarified.

"And now for something new!" interrupted Pinkie Pie. "A stallion with three plot holes!"

"Uh...sì" agreed Mr. Fori

"Then why didn't you say anything?!" Turner exclaimed offended.

"It's your country, I just live in it!" the guest answered with offense.

"And now for something old!" interrupted Pinkie. "A stallion with-" the phone suddenly rings, Pinkie picked it up. "Hello, Pinkie Pie speaking?" she said as she listened to the caller. "Oh, really? Yes sir." she nodded and the hanged up the phone. "And now for something new!" resumed Pinkie. "A stallion with three snouts!"

"There's no such thing!" yelled Rainbow Dash off-screen.

"Oh, how about two snouts?" asked Pinkie.

At a random theater, a stallion blew his nose into a napkin in front of an audience, he then took the napkin and placed it in a lower part of his body and blew again. The audience gave an enormous applause.

Double Diamond galloped on to the stage. "Hey everyone, I hope you are all enjoying the show, anyways, I have with us today a most unique act, so let's welcome on to the DD stage, Lyra Heartstrings and her musical mice!" he introduced.

Lyra happily walked out with a long box. She placed the box on the table as the host stood next to her. "Thank you Mr. Diamond, thank you!" she thanked. "Now, inside this box is 23 mice that I have trained these last few years to squeak at a selected pitch." she explained as she picked up a few mice by their tails with her magic. "This is E# and the other is G and so on and so forth..." she lectured. "Now, these mice are arranged in such a way that when played in a certain order, they will squeak 'Wizards in Winter'." she announced. "So mares and gentlecolts, I give you on my mouse organ, 'Wizards in Winter'." a deranged smile formed on Lyra's face.

She suddenly produces two mallets and began to whack each mouse, each giving a painful squeak. She continued hitting the mice, gradually striking harder as blood began to spread everywhere. Lyra began to laugh maniacally as some blood sprayed on her face. "Someone stop her now!" yelled an audience member.

Lyra continued to laugh crazily as two guards grabbed her and dragged her off the stage. Blood and bits of mouse guts all over her face. "I'll be here 'til Thursday!" she screamed.

At an office in Ponyville, Dr. Stable was at his desk doing paper work. A knock was heard from the door. "Come on in, it opens!" he announced. Soon, a couple, Mr. & Mrs. Cake walked in and they quietly, yet nervously, sat down in front of Dr. Stable's desk.

"I heard you were a marriage councilor." began Mr. Cake.

"Ah, yes, of course I am." nodded Dr. Stable.

"Ah that's great." he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay, so what are your names?" the councilor asked. He looked in awe at the wife's beauty, her blue coat, pink mane and wide child bearing hips made her alluring to him.

"My name is Carrot Cake." answered the husband who did not notice the councilor cast bedroom eyes at the mare.

"A your ravishing wife?" he asked. But he quickly got up. "No wait, it has something to do with the sky, so warm and bright, endless and free, deeply awe inspiring yet unpredictable-"

"It's Cup." pointed out Carrot.

"Cup Cake...what a beautiful name." he walked up to Cup Cake and happily nuzzled her, she did not mind at all, in fact, she encouraged it. "So what seems to be the problem with your marriage?"

"Well, I think it started about a year ago when our foals were born." began Carrot. "Now both of our foals are not Earth ponies like us, but I quickly chalked it up to a genetic anomaly. But then I began to notice my wife hanging around with strange stallions and our bed getting usually cold and dry, sometimes it feels like she is disgusted by me." he related, but was so focused on his story, that he failed to noticed that Dr. Stable and Cup were flirting with each other. "So last week, I decided to go to the fertility clinic to see if the foals were actually mine or not, and you know what they said?"

"What did they say?" asked Dr. Stable as he and Cup's faces inched closer together.

"That the foals are not mine and that I am completely sterile, and according to them, possibly my entire life." he explained. "So I think that's the reason why wife is possibly having an affair."

"So you think your wife is having an affair to spite your lack of ability to produce offspring?" Dr. Stable theorized as he and Cup nuzzled each other.

"That's what I think Cup is doing." agreed Carrot. "I was the one that inherited Sugarcube corner from my father, I was the one that invested a lot of money into the business, and I loved Cup the moment I met her at culinary school." as Carrot continued with his story, both Dr. Stable and Cup happily trotted together behind a privacy screen. "She actually stood up for me against those bullies and then we would make love like a bunch of horny hamsters."

"I will soon confirm that fact." the councilor chuckled as soft moans emanated from Cup. "I can also confirm that she smells like frosting."

"Yes, she smells like frosting and tastes like it too." Carrot mused, completely unaware of what was happening.

"She actually does." Dr. Stable said with surprise. He soon walked out from behind the screen and took of his white lab coat. "Here hold this." he said as he gave Carrot the coat. Carrot happily did as told as the councilor wiped his face clean. "And she flows like a stream too."

"Oh yes, Cup was a squirter all right." mused Carrot. "You won't believe how good she is in the sack too, I miss that about her." he continued.

"Anyways, Mr. Cake, mind if you wait outside for about oh, ten minutes?" Dr. Stable asked as he grabbed a box of condoms from his desk and walked over back behind the screen. "In fact, make it 30 minutes."

"Oh, okay, I don't mind, see you then." Carrot foolishly did as told and walked out. "See you in 30 minutes hun."

He was only met by a "Gluck Gluck" sound from his wife.

As Carrot Cake sat down at the waiting room, Neon Lights walked pass noticed him. "Now hold it there mister, are you sure you are doing the right thing by running away from your problems?"

"What do you mean?" the husband was confused.

"Are you going to let yourself become a cuckold beta male loser?" continued Neon. "Don't you want to be an alpha and show your wife who's the boss in this relationship?"

"Why...yes..." Carrot decided. "Yes, I want to show my wife who's boss!" he became determined.

"Then go in there, walk up to your wife, tell her how much of a worthless slut she is and that you had it up to here with her crap and then drag her home and fuck her real good!" Neon said.

"Yes, I will indeed do that!" exclaimed Carrot as an epiphany dawned on him. "I will go up to her, tell her to end with crap, and fuck her so good that she'll forever remember who REALLY is in charge here! No more of that old pushover Carrot, now it's assertive Carrot's turn!" he then proudly barged into the office. "CUP, COME OUT HERE THIS INSTANT!" he yelled once inside.

"Go...away...!" yelled Dr. Stable over Cup Cake's screams of pleasure between grunts from behind the screen.

"Oh, sorry." Carrot apologized and foolishly walked back out into the hallway.

An old documentary film began to play which began an image of Celestia and Luna walking together in the statue garden of the castle. "This rare film provides a unique glimpse into the relationship between Celestia and Luna, the Royal Sisters who rule Equestria together, the commentary is spoken by Discord himself." said the narrator.

The footage then cuts to Celestia playfully nudging Luna in the ribs. "Why, it's the wacky Princess Celestia, and joining her is her sister Princess Luna, I wonder what wacky situations these two will get in to during their summer garden party." narrated Discord.

Both Luna and Celestia walk over to a gardener who was watering the plants. Celestia immediately grabbed the hose and kicked the gardener to the ground. "Well, looks like the gardener has become victim to the sun princess' wacky antics again, how entertaining!"

Suddenly, Celestia took the hose and sprayed Luna with it, ruining her new dress. "And there she goes taking the mickey out of her sister Luna again." snorted Discord with laughter.

Celestia gave Luna the hose while she secretly used her magic to turn the water off. She then convinces her sister to spray her in return. Luna happily obliges, but water refused to come out. "Uh oh Luna, what happened to the water?"

The white princess then saw the blue princess look down the hose, on cue, Celestia used her magic to turn on the water again, and the hose sprayed water all over Luna's face. "And now Luna has been shot in the face, but by a hose and not a stallion this time around."

Celestia laughed, shook her rump at her sister to taunt her, before she sprinted away. Luna became extremely furious.

The film suddenly cut to a scene of Celestia painting a fence. "And now we have Celestia actually doing work for once, that face is not going to paint itself, even after all the staff got fired because they wanted 1% increase in their pay."

Luna walked in, in-line with the fence only to be 'accidentally' painted by her sister. Luna, extremely annoyed, grabbed the bucket of paint and dumped it over Celestia's head. She was swiftly tackled to the ground by her equally annoyed sister and they began brawling. Just as the two were about to punch each in the face at the same time, the scene freezes and becomes a photograph on a fireplace mantle.

The fireplace mantle belonged to the home of Hondo Flanks and Cookie Crumbles. Cookie happily dusted the mantle only to see a special visitor from out the window. She smiled and quickly walked over to her husband Hondo. "She's here hun, to see, at last." she announced.

"About damn time." said Hondo who refused to take his eyes away from the sports page of the newspaper.

Their guest walked through the door. "Aren't you glad to see me father?" said a sweet feminine voice. Cookie immediately grabbed the guest into a tight hug.

"Of course he's glad to see you Rarity dear." assured the mother to her daughter. 'He's just-"

"I think I can do the talking from now on hun!" interrupted Hondo as he looked at his daughter with disgust. "How's Appleloosa?"

"It's fine as usually father." answered Rarity with worry.

Cookie wanted to defuse the tension. "So Rarity darling, how's the gem mine, is it going well?" she asked her daughter.

"It's going great mother, we're using new diamond tipped carbide drills now to make gem extraction easier." explained the young mare with pride in her job.

"That sounds great Rarity." proudly stated the mother.

"Carbide drills?! What in the name of Tartarus is carbide?!" snarled the father.

"It's something they use in gem mining dad!" exclaimed Rarity.

"'It's something they use in gem mining dad'!" he mimicked. "You've been nothing but high class talk since you left Canterlot!" Hondo sneered with disgust for his daughter.

"Dad, not this again!"

"Go easy on him Rarity, he's filming new scenes tomorrow." explained Cookie to her daughter.

"Well, that's good." complimented Rarity.

"GOOD?!" that word drove the father over the edge. "What do you know about waking up at five in the morning to take a train to Las Pegasus, film new scenes at twelve and using all the stamina I have in order to perform as well as those young well hung bucks that nipping at my heels, doing STI screenings and re-shoots, and then dealing with a director who is clearly a closeted homosexual with a diaper fetish!" yelled the father. "You don't know what good is until you had a REAL working day!"

"Hun, please don't yell at our daughter!" pleaded the wife.

"But no, adult film and modeling just wasn't for you!" he angrily yelled. "You just had to run off to the Engineering college to study gem mining and get an engineering degree while at it!"

"Gem mining is actually a wonderful thing, if only you could see that!" Rarity said offended at hurt. "Look at you dad!"

"Rarity, please go easy on your father, you know how he gets after a few live performances." she warned her daughter.

"Well, Rares, go on, tell me what's wrong with me!" he quickly stood up and angrily looked at his daughter with contempt.

"I'll tell you what's wrong dad, your mind is full of movies and videos, you come here every evening smelling of marehood and bath salts!" yelled Rarity with dramatic flare.

"Rarity...don't..." her mother warned.

"And look at what you did to mom!" she continued her tirade. "She's worn out from meeting every adult film star, along with attending movie premier, adult conventions, adult award shows-"

"There's nothing wrong with adult award shows!" interrupted Hondo, who was extremely pissed off. "I have more awards that you have advanced engineering degrees!"

"HUN! STOP!" pleaded Cookie.

"Ahhh!" suddenly Hondo kneels over in pain.

"Dad, what's going on?!" asked Rarity with concern.

"It's blue balls Rarity, the scene he filmed this morning had to end due to equipment failure that occurred just before they were about to do the money shot." explained Rarity's mother.

"Why didn't you tell me this?" Rarity was stunned.

"I'll be alright after a quick rub and tug Cookie, just get her out of here!" yelled the father.

"Come on Rarity, it's best that you leave." said the mother as she escorted a dejected Rarity to the front door.

"After everything I have done for her..." he muttered.

"Someday you'll realize there's more to life than porn!" yelled Rarity from the front door. "There's dirt, smoke and good honest sweat involved!"

"GET THE BUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU MINER SLASH INDUSTRIAL ENGINEER!" yelled the father. The front door slammed shut. Suddenly, Hondo gets an inspiration. "Cookie dear, call that diaper loving director, tell him I have an idea for a new porn parody." he instructed.

"Yes hun." nodded the wife. "Hopefully it will represent the zeitgeist of our times."

"I hope so too..." he said ominously.

Downstairs, Sweetie Belle banged on their ceiling with a broom. "Can you quiet down up there, I can't practice my singing with you yelling up there!" she yelled with annoyance. She then turned her attention to you. "And now for something new, a stallion with three plot holes."

"THEY'VE DONE THAT!" yelled Cookie and Hondo from upstairs.

"Ugh!" she exclaimed with annoyance. "A stallion with twelve legs!"

"Uh, he kind of ran away." said Pinkie Pie off screen.

"For fuck's sake...ugh...a pony on a llama!"

Screw Loose happily sat on a llama on the steep hillside. The llama payed no attention to her and just continued on with its grazing. The mare on the llama just took in the beauty of her surroundings.

Friday Night Fight: A Question of Belief

Twilight Sparkle was at a television studio. "Good evening, and welcome to another edition of 'Friday Night Fight'. Tonight my guest include, former foal television star, born-again Celestian, and member of the 'Way of the Master' ministries, Mr. Kirk Cameron." a spotlight was shined to Twilight's left to reveal a middle aged stallion. "And to my right, he's an astrophysicist and former lead guitarist of 'Queen', please welcome Mr. Brian May." the guest to her right was revealed to be an older stallion with a long white curly mane.

"Pleasure to be here." smirked Kirk.

"Likewise." said Brian.

"Okay, so tonight, instead of endlessly discussing the exact nature of the alicorns, these two have decided to fight for it in an all-out sparing match. The status of Celestia being a god, or just a powerful pony will be put to the test, determined by most points, withdrawal or knock-out. Each round will be three minutes in length, rounds will be held until one is the first to reach 25 points by a two or more point margin, they withdraw or are knocked-out." explained Twilight the rules. "Anyways boys, let's get to this, Applejack will be the commentator and Rainbow Dash will be the color commentator, let's go."

The wall behind Twilight lifts up to reveal a large octagon ring. Both Brian and Kirk put on gloves and walk into the ring.

"Welcome to another edition of Friday Night Fight, Ah am yer commentator Applejack, joined by my good friend Rainbow Dash." began Applejack as the two stallion began to fight.

"Nice to be here AJ, now these two stallions are famous figures in each of their camps, we have Kirk who believes that Celestia is all-seeing, all-knowing and in fallible, and is the daughter of the legendary Fausticorn, the creator." explained Dash. "While Brian believe that Fausticorn does not exist and that Celestia is just an ordinary pony who happens to be powerful and almost immortal."

"Okay, halfway through the first round and Kirk managed to earn himself a few points with a punch to the ribs." said Applejack as she saw the action unfold before her. "Anyways, ah am being told that we're goin' to have to make way for a breakin' news report, but we'll reveal the winner later on in this chapter, see ya'll around."

A photo of a ticking stopwatch showed on the screen, followed by a caption that read "60 Minutes".

Soarin appeared in a darkened studio. "Tonight on '60 Minutes', I sit down with the stallion with three anuses for an exclusive interview."

"So, what was Eros Ramazzotti's reaction when he first saw your rump?" asked Soarin as he sat down in front of Mr. Fori.

"He screamed and yelled 'it looks like Swiss cheese down there!'." answered Mr. Fori.

"He really did say that?" Soarin was skeptical.

"Yes, but in Italiano obviously."

Spitfire then appeared in the darkened studio. "Also, Chinese scientists have announced the discovery of the first ever self flying sheep, we'll investigate the authenticity of this claim."

Then it cut to Harshwhinny. "A new fad is sweeping across Equestria, they are called 'leafies', ponies who like to dress up and act as trees, I'll be talking to one of the more famous practitioners tonight, all this and the senile old ramblings of Granny Smith, tonight on '60 Minutes'." she announced.

After the introduction, Harshwhinny stood in front of a giant magazine page that showed a picture of ponies dressed in tree costumes. "It is a new underground phenomenon that is growing in strength and number, ponies who like to dress up and act as trees, they call themselves 'leafies' and they seem enjoy this lifestyle, tonight, I will sit down with known 'leafer' Fluttershy at her Ponyville cottage in order to shed some light into this social movement." the mare announced.

It soon cut to Harshwhinny in front of Fluttershy at the yellow mare's cottage. "So tell me about 'leafies' and why did you get involved?"

"Well..." she nervously began. "We're just ponies who like to get together and be trees, because we feel like we have a special kinship with them." she explained. "We dress up as trees, act like we're trees, help out the environment, we do community outreach as well."

"How many 'leafies' are there?" Harshwhinny asked.

"Our last meeting brought in 25 ponies from all over Equestria, and when we first started it was just three." the mare explained. "We've been getting more ponies each month."

Immediately intrigued, I accompanied Fluttershy to one of their meetings in the far fields in the outskirts of Ponyville, about 20 showed up, most of them dressed in either store bought or hoof made tree costumes.

Harshwhinny stood back and observed Fluttershy greeting all of the ponies. Everyone appeared happy and friendly with each other.

One particular aspect of 'leafies' is their tendency to stand still like trees every hour on the hour and repeatedly chant...

"Photosynthesis! Photosynthesis! Photosynthesis!" the entire group chanted with hooves in the air. "Turn our carbon dioxide and water into sugar and oxygen!" they continued. "Keep the Calvin Cycle turning! Photosynthesis!"

Harshwhinny looked on skeptically.

Once it got dark, Fluttershy invited everyone to a private party at her cottage, unfortunately, our cameras were not allowed inside and for good reason.

"How often is sex involved in this?" the reported asked Fluttershy bluntly.

"It is involved, but we're more focused on having fun than having sex, we just want to socialize and feel free, so sex is not a requirement at all, it is up to those involved." Fluttershy clarified.

Clips of the group and Fluttershy bowling were played as the ponies attempted to play while remaining as stiff as possible like trees. "The foals love us, we sometimes visit the pouliatric ward here at Ponyville medical center." the pegasus narrated.

"Some ponies are concerned that you're using this movement to lure in foals to molested them." explained the professional reporter.

"What?!" exclaimed Fluttershy with offense. "Just because we have an usually high affection for foals doesn't make us foal molesters, and I can assure you that none of us, especially me, are using this as a cover to get close to them!" she bluntly denied.

The segment cuts off abruptly by the ticking stopwatch transition with Soarin. "And now, a random rambling by Granny Smith."

It cuts to Granny Smith behind her desk in her office. "Ya know what ah find annoyin' to open..." she brought out a cereal box. "Cereal boxes, my goodness they are hard to open, the ponies over at Fort Knox should look into using cereal box technology to protect the Equestrian gold reserves, because they are a pain in the butt to open an-" she was immediately interrupted by the sounds of sheep running into the studio. "Darn it, not again!" she grabbed a pistol and aimed it at the flock that ran towards her. "Ah'll be right back!" she fired her weapon and the screen cut to black.

Sex And Violence stars...
in order of appearance...
Big McIntosh
Filthy Rich
Granny Smith
Bon Bon
Pinkie Pie
Time Turner
Rainbow Dash
Double Diamond
Lyra Heartstrings
Dr. Stable
Carrot Cake
Cup Cake
Neon Lights
HRH Princess Celestia
HRH Princess Luna
Discord
Hondo Flanks
Cookie Crumble
Rarity
Sweetie Belle
Screw Loose
HRH Princess Twilight Sparkle
Applejack
Soarin
Spitfire
Harshwhinny
Fluttershy

Applejack suddenly appeared on the screen. "And the results of the fight are in!" she announced. "Fausticorn exists after two rounds followed by a knock-out on the third round!"

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