The Fumble

The crow’s nest of the Farsighted Pirates’ ship offered a glorious view of the blue sky, the single sea wider than all others, the sea that all pegasi laid claim to for years before that morning’s sunrise, and would claim for years after, whether or not airships existed. For the pegasus sitting near the railing, his tail stretched back to the mast, it was simply peace and quiet. Clouds drifted lazily by, the hull cutting through the top of a thick cumulus and leaving a wake behind it as the pegasus sighed, laying his elbows on the railing and watching the puff of white rise and fall like waves. “Two days straight of sailing, still no land. Hm...”

The rippling white lines were clear, even all the way up in the nest, as thin streams of air cut through the cloud from the chips and valleys of the hull’s wood, as well as its keel. It all swirled into little typhoons, surfing the waves alongside the ship. He smiled lightly at the sight, furrowing his brow a bit as a sight came to him, picturing himself sliding along the clouds, flapping his wings now and again for bursts of thrust. “Huh, there’s an idea. Cloud-surfing. Nice and safe if you find a big enough of cloud, and the ship creates natural waves...” He nodded a bit, looking up from the clouds below as he relegated the vision to memory, as the end of the cloud came and passed by the bow of the ship.

Revealing, far down on the water, a rather large island, dotted with villages all along the central line of the island starting from the edge closest to the ship, stretching on to the far side of the island. He grinned and hopped up from his spot, trotting over to the other side and looking down to the deck, shouting. “Land Ho, Cap’n!”

Spyglass jumped a bit from the shout before looking back up, nodding. “Thank you, Mr. Telescope!” His eye turned to the bow of the ship, and he took off towards it, shifting through crew members, making haste for the railing. About time, maybe I’ll finally be able to get some sleep without finding Eye Lash in my room...

He hopped up the few steps towards the tip of the bow and leaned on the railing, lifting himself up with his forehooves and confirming the sight. “Finally, Tradewinds... chance to offload all these gryphons before they start a riot.”

“A riot, minion?”

“AH!” Spyglass jumped into the air and caught a rush of wind as his wings snapped open, throwing him back towards the deck over Eye’s head. A crate fortunately found itself under the flailing captain, breaking his fall by promptly bouncing him off the top, sending him into a flip and bellyflop behind it. “Oof!”

“Not bad, Captain! Points lost for the box interaction, however.” Eye trotted around to the side of the crate, offering a hoof to Spyglass. “Here.”

“Ah, not to worry, Mr. Lash, I’m alright!” Spyglass grunted and got back up onto his hooves, waving his compatriot off. “Collided with so many boxes in the past, my spine’s harder than a blade.”

Eye opened his mouth, barely moving his tongue before a quick flick of Spyglass’ hoof shut his jaw, the captain leering at him sideways. “No, you may not test that statement.” Eye whimpered as Spyglass made his way back to the bow, a few flaps of his wings carrying him up towards the railing.

“But every theory should be properly tested, minion! Imagine, you could block a barrage of strikes with just your spine!” Eye followed Spyglass up, frowning and furrowing his brow. “Besides, I do prefer a shield that works.”

Spyglass just shot Eye a dirty look before glancing back at the island below. “You can use a proper, non-living one from below deck, Mr. Lash.”

Eye’s ears splayed back as he whined, frowning at Spyglass as he got right up against his side. “But those are so heavy!”

“Not as heavy as a pony,” Spyglass retorted, deadpanning at Eye for a moment before looking back at the island. Eye groaned and laid his chin on the railing, pouting harshly as he stared at the island below.

“So, what incredibly interesting area are we going to next?” Eye’s voice came out as flat as his brow, his horn shimmering a little between the hairs of his gold mane.

The crew was finally taking notice of the commotion, numerous strange looks aimed up at Spyglass and Eye as the two stallions looked back at them all. “Oh, what do you all want!?”

“I’d like some new socks!” A baritone-voiced stallion shouted from the back, Spyglass’ eye twitched as he snapped to a bright smile, nodding swiftly.

“Well, sir, you’ve volunteered to be, er, uh... M-Mr. Lash’s bodyguard while we’re down in Tradewinds! If you’d kindly escort him to the back of the ship and far, far away from the bow and brief him on what we’ll be doing, I’ll be sure to get you as many socks as you like!”

“Does that mean everybody gets socks?!” The same stallion shouted, the rest of the crew voicing their own hopes for new socks; bandages and boots may have looked awesome, but they just didn’t offer the same warmth and comfort of a nice set of socks.

“Yes, yes, everybody gets socks, now!” Spyglass looked back to Eye Lash, grinning brightly as he raised his brow. “Mr. Lash, if you would go to the back of the ship with, er...”

“Magnifying Glass, sir!” The magenta stallion shouted out, coming up towards the bow of the ship with heavy steps. Eye Lash took a look at him, smiling brightly at the build of his new bodyguard: firm and muscular with no imagination left to the mind.

“Yes, Mr. Glass, lead Mr. Lash to the back of the ship and brief him on our visit.” Spyglass nodded and shooed them both away with his hoof, turning around and zipping away to the other side of the bow. Though it was only a difference of ten feet, it may as well have been an entire country between them, with how much relief it brought the captain.

“Of course, sir! Mr. Lash, if you would come with me.” Magnifying Glass nodded to Lash, getting a nod in return, and the two stallions trotted on towards the back of the ship. “Why do you keep making eyes at Captain Spyglasss?”

“You ever wonder why he doesn’t... you know, polish the javelin?” Eye raised his brow as the conversation trailed away in Spyglass’ ears, though each word just made his eye twitch increasingly worse.

“Wipe the spear?” Glass replied, raising his own brow.

“It’d put some wind in his sails, if you ask me.” Eye nodded, Glass returning a thoughtful hum. Silence came down between them for a few moments before he blinked and looked back to Eye.

“Why are you watching him do that?”

Eye shrugged and waved it off with his hoof, using his magic to flick back some of his yellow mane. “Merely concern for my minion’s health, dear Magnifying Glass. Nightly relief either on your own or with thirty others can do wonders for the mood.”

“Ohhhh. Very kind of you, Mr. Lash!” Glass grinned and nodded, a little spring in his step, leading Lash along towards the aft, and far, far away from Spyglass’ relaxing body.

Now, all he has to do is keep Eye away until we land… He took in a deep breath and turned to the crew, shouting out to them. “All crew, prepare for landing at Tradewinds! Telescope, find us the dock! Periscope, Binoculars, adjust the gasbags and sails, ensure our descent is even! The rest of you, move below deck and prepare movement of the cargo! Let’s move!”

A unanimous “Sir, yes sir!” rang out from the crew, minus Magnifying Glass, Velvet and Eye Lash, and the captain turned back to the island with a smile. A few minutes of peace in the white noise of landing preparations. Well... as much peace as I can get with ponies like Eye and his pet Velvet around.

“I still don’t see why I have to walk.”
Eye Lash frowned as he followed along behind Spyglass and Velvet, his tunnel vision fixed firmly on the mare’s butt. Spyglass’ groan drifted over Eye’s ears as the captain turned and leered at him.

“No, for the last time, I am not carrying you there. Listen, we’re just making a quick trip to a trio of mages I know while the crew offloads the prisoners to the dock, so you won’t have to walk very far.”

“But it’s already farther than I can tolerate!” Eye pouted as he groaned, looking up at the back of Velvet’s head for once. “Velvet, my love, would you mind carrying me?”

Spyglass looked back over to her, deadpanning lightly. “Don’t, Velvet.”

Velvet nodded harshly, her head nearly flinging down far enough to smash into the cobblestone and dirt under her hooves. Her horn missed the stones as she brought her head back up and looked back at Lash, her neck clicking as she shook her head. “UNIT-SPYGLASS HAS DENIED YOUR REQUEST, UNIT-EYE LASH.”

“Nonsense, why should you listen to him instead of me?” Eye Lash frowned and looked at her, furrowing his brow. Patch remained quiet at the whole display, walking alongside Eye Lash, though taking a chance to move further ahead and away from the crazy pony.

“UNIT-SPYGLASS OUTRANKS UNIT-EYE LASH, SIMPLY PUT.” Spyglass nodded and smiled at Velvet’s response, looking back to Eye Lash as she turned back to the street, leering at a pair of passing ponies. Spyglass simply sighed at the sight and looked over the city itself, knowing the path by heart.

All around him, stone towers extended up towards the clear blue sky, bulbous windows dotting the walls in a downward spiral, denoting rooms, homes for the less fortunate of the city. The raucous shouts of bartering and merchants hawking their goods to anyone and everyone they could filled the streets, amongst chatter concerning the weather, or new developments around the city. Even the sounds of hammers banging against nails and wood could be heard, one half-constructed tower in view surrounded by scaffolding, pegasi swooping in and around it like a swarm of bees building a new hive.

Not a bad analogy, that. Tradewinds is sometimes called ‘Hive City’ for a reason... He frowned lightly at the state of the city. Shiny, bright paint, brand new cobblestone, shop signs unmarred by the weather. The city was in a constant state of upgrading and refurbishing, not a single building left to decay in the elements if the local government could help it. It all looked better than his trips to Canterlot, the marble towers and white buildings all getting on his nerves rather quickly, but Tradewinds held a different air for him.

Where Canterlot was the shining capital of Equestria, a beacon of peace for the free world, Tradewinds was a city stuck riding the tails of others’ success. Spyglass found himself looking from alley to alley, seeings the shadows move and shift in them, escaping his gaze. Despite all the beauty and glamour, I see the city still smells the same. Still, this won’t be a long visit, thankfully.

He turned his gaze back to the road, blocking out the sound of several ponies gasping as Eye Lash did something - it was always, always Eye Lash - and found the college straight down the path from him. “Finally. Mr. Lash, if you would get your nose out of whatever hole you’ve stuck it in, we’re—” Spyglass’ words caught in his throat as he looked back to his crazed compatriot, going wide-eyed at the sight.

Patch just stared back at Spyglass in a bit of a panic, shrugging, before looking over to Eye Lash, who’d managed to get his nose stuck in one of the four barrels of his new pistol. “Shum hilp, pleesh?” Eye grabbed the pistol and pulled on it, grunting as he tried to tear it off his face.

“Velvet, if you would... I can’t even hazard wasting brain power on how this happened.” Spyglass sighed and shook his head, Velvet nodding and looking back before flicking on her magic. The group approached the doors and Spyglass reached towards the doors, just before Eye yelped when Velvet yanked on the pistol.

Patch’s eyes narrowed lightly as the mare misjudged her pulling strength, and promptly threw Eye forward, the stallion flying through the doors of the college. “VILVITAHHHHH!”

Spyglass’ eye twitched lightly as Patch moved up beside him, examining the clean, pony-shaped hole in the two oaken doors. The college felt less monolithic and ominous with this change, at least, extending up into the sky with its three massive towers. The vampire smiled and patted his captain on the shoulder, looking over to him. “Well, I’d say that’s a seven on delivery.”

“Patch, a pony is meant to knock before entering...” Spyglass just rubbed his brow lightly, sighing.

The pegasus grinned and chuckled, looking back to the hole in the door. “Velvet managed both at the same time, I say. Now c’mon, sir, we’ve a set of mages to meet, don’t we?”

“True, Mr. Patch. Well, let’s head in then.” Spyglass forwent the need to knock, simply hopping in through the hole in the doors, followed by Velvet and Patch. “Well, things can’t go much worse now, can they?”

Spyglass learned once he’d entered the lobby of the college, that things could always get worse. Especially things that involved Eye Lash.

Specifically, he found himself watching as Eye Lash examined a suit of armor, trying to take it apart with his magic as two mages swiftly came over, shouting at him to stop. Oh ye Goddess, what is he doing now?

“No, no, I will not stop! This armor is too glorious to just be up on a stand!” Eye frowned and puffed out his cheeks at the two interloping unicorns, both dressed in the college’s standard uniform: blue robes with green lace, and white collars bearing the symbol of the Mages’ Union: a silhouette of a unicorn’s head, surrounded by stars. “It deserves to be worn by a true pony, preferably one not made of wood.”

“Sir, please, this is an ancient relic, you need to leave it alone! Here, let us just take you to administration, they can get you sorted out...” One of the mages, a mare, responded with a light grin. Her horn lit brightly and she picked Eye up, carrying him off in her magic towards the hall to the left of Spyglass, Patch and Velvet; the mage’s partner coming along behind her.

“Oy! Unhoof... I-I mean un-magic me this instant! Captain, help!” Eye struggled in the telekinetic cloud, which only resulted in him constantly flipping and spinning around.

The sight brought a light smile to Spyglass’ face, finally seeing at least a little misfortune befall his ‘beloved crewmate’, but he soon snapped back to a sharp, commanding expression when the mare beside him looked over. He cleared his throat, nodding to her. “Velvet, go after them. Let the mages explain themselves and take Eye to administration. I’ll just be a moment.”

“YES, UNIT-SPYGLASS.” Velvet nodded once and raced off after them, bouncing off a wall as her legs locked into ‘full straight sprint’ mode. “UNMAGIC UNIT-EYE LASH THIS INSTANT AND EXPLAIN YOUR ACTIONS, MAGES.”

Spyglass narrowed his eye lightly as he heard a cavalcade of screams and the crashing of several glass panes and trophies come out of the hall, before Patch patted him on the shoulder. “We should probably go, sir.”

“Don’t need to tell me twice, Mr. Patch. Come, I know where the mages are. Follow me.” Spyglass headed off towards the hall to the right, avoiding reception altogether, though he did offer a wave to the stallion behind the desk. Hurry or not, he did intend to be polite, in a way. Once they’d entered the hall, though, Spyglass picked up his pace, furrowing his brow lightly as he focused down the pathway.

His reflection was clear in the grey, granite floor, his hooves click-clacking sharply with every step on the polished surface, while chandeliers hung from the domed ceiling and lit the mahogany walls nicely. The air was fresh and clean, unlike the outside, silver vents seen along the upper-sections of the walls every now and again, keeping the place ventilated and temperate. Patch smiled lightly as his wings flitted, trotting alongside Spyglass. “Well, this is a rather nice place.”

Spyglass nodded, smiling gently as his focus turned to the pleasant color of the hall, the weathered yellow paint smelling rather new, with the dark brown trim taking up the bottom piece of the wall. Unicorns sat and chatted by brown pillars that stretched up from where the walls and floor connected, arching up to the peaked ceiling to support it. “Indeed. If it weren’t for the eccentricity of Tradewinds, I’d probably have come here and studied magic.”

“Pegasi can study magic?” Patch raised his eyebrow, frowning lightly as he looked over to Spyglass. “I thought only unicorns could cast magic?”

“Well, by will, of course. But it’s always been a question of mine as to how pegasi can walk on clouds and such. Put an earth pony on a cloud and they drop right through, but you or I could use one as a makeshift bed, and have it support us for days. Hasn’t that ever perplexed you?” Spyglass raised his own brow, looking over to his companion. Patch simply gave a nod, looking away in thought as his brow fell back down.

“Granted point, I suppose.” He shrugged, rolling the question off with a gentle hum, and looked back down the hall. “So, where are these mages of yours?”

“Should be in here, to the left.” The captain looked over to a door between two pillars after quite a bit of walking, right near the spiral staircase leading up to the second floor. The hall itself ended in a rounded off shape, a suit of armor positioned at the very back of the round wall, watching over the stairs. “Yes, here we are. Room 121.”

“Alright. Just going to have them check me, make sure the healing went well?” Patch walked up towards the door, glancing back at Spyglass with a raised brow.

“Indeed. Once that’s done, we can drag Eye Lash out of whatever mess he’s gotten into and leave...” Spyglass sighed heavily at that, shaking his head. Something that can’t happen soon enough if you ask me.

“Alright...” Patch looked back to the door, raised his hoof, and—

“Come in!”

“Wh—” Patch furrowed his brow, startled by the sudden shout from inside the room. He glanced back to his captain, getting a light shrug in response.

“Just go on inside, Mr. Patch.”

Patch nodded lightly, turning back to the door, taking the doorknob in his grip, and turning the knob, opening the door.

Spyglass blinked as he heard Eye shout from down the corridor.

“That was too many words for a simple action!”

The two ponies looked to each other and shrugged, the captain sighing. Patch lead the way in, Spyglass pulling up the rear and looking over to the door, seeing the plaque on it. ‘Headmasters: Urd, Skuld, Verandi’. Wait a minute... that’s not right. Weren’t their names different last I came by? He stalled there for a few moments, blinking in confusion at the names, before merely shrugging lightly and moving into the room, closing the door quietly behind him with his hind hoof. Well, it’s not the first time they’ve changed their names.

The room was just the same as he’d remembered it, really, as he looked around the place. A dark room, shelves running along the walls, all holding up a great number of potions, both stable and bubbling, some static in color and others showing a vibrant rainbow of shades and hues. And at the center of the room, hunkered over a crystal ball on a small table, were three figures.

“Go fish, Skuld!” One of the figures shouted, a unicorn at a glance with a raised blue mane tied in a ponytail, two forelocks splitting around the horn and falling down in front of her eyes, with gold eyes and a soft red coat. She cackled as the one to her right groaned, drawing a card from the deck and adding it to her already-massive collection of cards between her hooves.

“This sucks.” She growled, clearly a zebra from the bright red stripes on her purple coat, and looked over at her unicorn compatriot, pink eyes glaring at her. “Why can’t we use magic for this?”

“Because, then we’d all win at the same time.” The third of them broke in, frowning lightly as she examined her cards. This was an earth pony, a dark caramel in coat color, her tail flicking lightly. “No fun if you can see the end of a card game before it even starts, Skuld.”

“But imagine how many bets we could resolve, Urd! C’mon, Verandi, you agree, right?” Skuld took one look at the unicorn beside her, before smiling. “You do!”

“Cheater!” Verandi shouted, leering at Skuld. “Don’t do that!”

“Both of you quiet down, we do have guests.” Urd gestured for the two girls to calm down, sighing and laying her cards face down on the table before leaning back, laying her foreleg across the back of the chair. She looked back at the two new stallions, blowing a few strands of green hair away from her face, sapphire blue eyes examining them. “Welcome back, Spyglass. It’s been a while.”

“Indeed, ‘Urd’. Things going well?” Spyglass smiled back at her, trotting over to the table. “Hope the college hasn’t laid you three down with too much work.”

“Eh.” All three responded simultaneously, shrugging in sync.

“It’s doable.” Skuld nodded, narrowing her eyes at all her cards. This, however, isn’t. I hate Go Fish.

“So, Spyglass, come to have your friend checked out?” Verandi raised her brow, laying her cards down as well. Spyglass nodded, his eyes turning a bit to see Skuld leaning over to Verandi’s hand, narrowing her eyes as she examined them as best she could.

“Yes, actually. I’d like to have Mr. Patch here checked by a medical practitioner, and I believe ‘Skuld’ is rather skilled in this field... last I checked, anyways.” He looked over to the zebra who swiftly nodded and bounced out of her seat, tossing her cards onto the table.

“Yes please, finally! I surrender!” Skuld grinned, and right as Verandi opened her mouth, the zebra chucked a small bag of bits straight into her maw, properly shutting her up. “Don’t make me put more money where your mouth is, Verandi!”

“Grrmph.” Verandi frowned and sat back in her chair, folding a foreleg while her other hoof yanked the bag out of her mouth. “We haven’t even finished the game yet.”

Urd smiled lightly as Verandi found her words falling on deaf ears, Skuld already leaning in and examining Patch’s wound closely. “Huh... that’s weird. It’s all healed up.”

“Yeah, wasn’t that bad a wound...” Patch grinned lightly, chuckling as he tried to brush the whole thing off. “I just got hit by a stake in the night...”

“A stake? Why would someone try to use one of those unreliable things on you? Oh, wait, right. Self-healing?”

Patch nodded, Skuld letting out an ‘ahh’ of understanding, smiling back at him. “Been a while since I’ve seen one of you around! Didn’t finish healing yet?”

“Oh, no, uh, this is as far as it goes.” Patch cleared his throat, shaking his head.

“Ah. Marriage?”

“Yeah.”

Skuld nodded, patting Patch on the shoulder lightly and sighing. “I feel for you, my friend. But hey, at least you don’t get hungry, right?”

“Granted. It’s more just a hobby, I guess.” Patch offered her a smile and a nod, Skuld returning in kind with a ruffle of the mane with her hoof, before turning and heading back to the table.

“He’s fine, Spyglass, don’t worry.” Skuld waved Spyglass’ question off before it made it out of his mouth. “And don’t worry about paying us, this was barely worth two bits. No, you don’t have to worry about infection, yes, the scar will heal in a few months, and yes, the eyepatch is rather fetching.”

Spyglass furrowed his brow at her, sneering. “I wasn’t going to ask about the last one!”

“I know, personal note.” Skuld grinned over at Patch, winking at him. “You look sharp, kiddo. Bet the mares are tripping all over you.”

“Oh, I wish.” Patch smiled, shrugging lightly before looking back to Spyglass. “So, shall we head off, Captain?”

“Suppose so. Not much else to do.” Spyglass turned and took a step toward the door, before he felt something grab his tail.

“...Hang on.” Urd looked back to the stallion, hoof gripping his tail tightly to keep him steady. “I need to ask you something first.”

“What’s that?” Spyglass looked back to her, raising an eyebrow lightly. He didn’t shift his stance, though his tail flicked subconsciously now and again, trying to wrestle its way out of Urd’s grip.

“Has, er... your new crewmate seemed a little off lately?”

“Mr. Lash? No, he’s been about the same as when I met him, however regrettable that is.” Spyglass harumphed at that, shaking his head. “No, he hasn’t changed in terms of personality.”

Urd frowned at that, sighing lightly as she let go of Spyglass’ tail. “Alright. Before you go, though.” She hopped off her seat and trotted over to the desk at the side of the room, opening one of the drawers and reaching inside. She soon plucked a rolled scroll out of it and moved back towards Spyglass, holding it out to him. “I know this seems strange, but if ‘Mr. Lash’ starts acting weird or out-of-place... read this and let me know. Alright?”

“This is rather out of the blue...” Spyglass mumbled, looking down to the scroll before he swept it up with his wing, holding it against his side. “And what if he’s ‘acting weird’ all the time? What then?”

“Then just contact us. It’s something we’ve been investigating, and, well...” She sighed a bit, looking away slightly, a shade falling over her eyes. “I’d hate for something to happen, that’s all.”

“You’re acting very strange, Urd...” Spyglass frowned lightly, examining her face. It’s not like her... every time I came here, she was a bastion of confidence. What’s going on here? And why does it involve Mr. Lash?

“Don’t worry about it, just keep an eye out, alright?” She looked back at him, grimacing slightly. “...No offense.”

“None taken, Urd, I’ve gotten used to it. Besides, better that you say it than one of the crew...” Spyglass sighed, shaking his head. “I will watch him, and if something happens, you will be the first to know.”

“Thank you. Hope you have a nice day, Spyglass.” Urd nodded to him, giving him a nuzzle on the cheek before moving back towards her chair. “Safe sailing.”

“Of course, same to you.” Spyglass nodded as the mare sat back down at the table, all three of them going back to their card game, and he moved back towards the door. “Mr. Patch, let’s go retrieve Mr. Lash and get back to the ship.”

Patch just blinked at the command, paying a glance over to Spyglass before nodding hurriedly, trotting out after him. As the door closed behind him, the room fell back into silence, Skuld and Verandi looking up at Urd.

Both of them remained silent as Urd frowned, rubbing her face and groaning lightly, setting her vibrant, gold eyes on the crystal ball. The clear surface surrounded all the clouds and storms held within, but nothing clear nor audible could be perceived. Just a constant churn of a stormy horizon, blocking everything. “I hate being blind...”

Verandi sighed, finally breaking her silence and moving off her chair. She trotted over to the door, Urd and Skuld looking on at her with raised brows. Verandi just glanced back at them, deadpanning slightly before nodding at the door. “Well? Let’s go after them.”

“After them?” Urd blinked at her, furrowing her brow slightly. “No, we shouldn’t intrude on this...”

“And let this whole mystery slip out from under us? How do you know something won’t happen to Spyglass before he can contact y-” She stopped, peering out the doorway at the hall outside. “You two might want to see this.”

“Huh?” Urd asked, trotting over to the door, only to see a wrecked hallway full of shattered trophy cases and dismantled suits of armor. “...Oh. This could be a problem.”

“Ladies, I think this is much worse than we ever could have predicted.”